Beautifully told short story of a girl's loss of her mother and her refusal to let her go
until many years later, she finally comes to terms with it and knows she will always have a friend to play with in the wheat fields...forever.
Your writing and telling such a short story was amazing...and I enjoyed reading it very much.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
‘Before you jump in, could you send over some more beer?” Maggie, startled to hear the voice of her inebriated husband, looked across the great divide for the first time. “Come on! I’ve been trapped over here for days. What are you going to do, just stand there?”
Maggie indecision was over. She knew exactly what she was going to do.'
Oh! I loved this story it was different and very amusing. It will give your readers who think time has taken its toll on marriage to rethink what they have invested. Truly a cutie and a joy to read.
Thank you for sharing with us and good luck in the contest.
‘If you're Australian, you'll understand
My poetic words and reasons.
For I'm in Melbourne - better known
As the city of Four Seasons!.'
A lovely piece Meg, and as always the flow is simply wonderful, I love the way you can take any situation and make it poetry divine. The words seem to roll right off your pen.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
I enjoyed reading your story of a young woman returning to her birth place after a long absence, and looking into the falling down house that she'd shared so many years past, and looking for the image of the young women she’d seen in the wheat fields when she was a young girl. Thinking that the woman was all that she wanted to yet not sure she’d made that wish come true.
What I liked best was the way she told the story in the first person, but still kept to the prompt. Thank you for sharing this story and good luck in the contest.
I so enjoyed this piece and I must say that I know a lot of woman who love the sport and wouldn't miss a game not for anything.
My parents raised four children and most of it was at a baseball, football or racetrack....So, were lots of my friends....
But I do understand that there are many who think why get excited! But I don't think that is the norm anymore....I love the game and as I write this piece I'm watching a collage football game....So thanks for sharing.......
I can imagine thousands upon thousands holding a candle of hope and promise for any man, woman or child who needs to know that there is someone out there who does care, and is willing to give a hand or
a pat on the back for their good deeds. I thank you for sharing this timely poem and appreciate that you can feel the need to help....I look forward to reading more from your port....
Sincerely
Marlena
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I am so sorry it has taken so long to get here but I've been abroad for the past 3 weeks and have just come home yesterday.
But here I am and what I see on your port impresses me very much.
This lovely piece on one of my favorite subjects Angel's is as it should be about someone who is just that; a beautiful Angel.
I love the flow and the lovely words I have so enjoyed...I too believe there are angel's walking among us and now and than we can almost see their wings....Thank you so much for sharing this angel with us and I will continue my little sojourn through your port....
I truly found myself engrossed in this story and before I could reach the end I was raining tears.
I found your story on growing up with a father who felt or showed very little love or respect for his only daughter. Only to find that was not who he was after all. I truly enjoyed your story and loved the emotion you packed into it.
What moved me the most about your story
The letter, from her father that fell from a book about his true feelings about his family and his daughter, that made feel so good about him.
Thank you for sharing your story good luck in the contest, and keep up the great work.
Never before have I heard anyone prefer a weed over a flower...and I am so glad that tonight I have....and I truly agree. When a woman is described as a lovely flower, it sounds pretty and delightful to know that someone thinks of her as such. But when described as better to be a weed, I agree with that theory even more....We know that pretty things are soon broken and cast aside...so if I had a daughter I would certainly want her to be a weed with pretty blossoms....Thank you for sharing this ugly weed......It was lovely....
Sincerely
Marlena
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What a little darling poem...today I have read some rather wonderful and spiritual pieces and I'll add this one to those that have ignited or sparked a flame in my heart. It truly touched my heart. I found not one line that needed to be fixed. Thank you so much for sharing and keep up the great writing.
Sincerely
Marlena
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Thank you for writing this little story of the little red shoes. Yes, war can be so unfair and the things it does to those who are within the walls of this madness are the ones who are left with the most to lose. Looking back at the throes of all war I can see the pain and loss of what life as we know seems to be...about greed and a Landmine! For a piece of Land...Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Marlena
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You certainly have a fantastic way of keeping one on the edge of their seat and in suspense through out the story. I was taken completely by surprise not even a hint from you as to what might happen. I love the way you show what is taking place and still keep have one in totally disbelief. Thank you for sharing this story and for a great read....and believable story.
Sincerely
Marlena
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Welcome to this months Rising Stars Shining Brighter contest.
Nice story about the goings on in your everyday convenience store. Its manager and a lady vamp. Nice read and thank you for sharing your story with my Circle of Sisters and good luck in the contest....
Sincerely
Marlena
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Well done and very queenly robed! She hailed her subjects to bend and bow, and bend and bow and died for heavy robes...
I enjoyed this piece written in the spirit of; I, Claudius, and so sure he would agree that you'd done justice to the cause.
This is my favorite stanza although I like them all, but this one stood out for me:
'Behold! My swirl of robes, are flung.
My scraping thrusts of tongue flick far.
From old bayous to Florida,
all hear my roar: the crack of oak,
the wrench of roof, the crash of glass,
a dog's last woof.'
What a darling and delightful little story. I did not have the delightful pleasure of daughters, but I had my hands full with three robust sons, and like you I made sure they were endowed with those wonderful parting gifts similar to your own at about the time they entered collage. I particularly loved these lines, which in my humble opinion relates to both sexes:
'These darling daughters suddenly convert to shrew-like emotional lightning rods of high maintenance terrorists overnight, unbeknownst to the parents who headed off to bed following an evening of warm, fuzzy, family time and a game of Mille Bornes.'
Thank you so much for sharing those feelings and for the walk down memory lane....
Nice little poem, but I am not sure as to what you are trying to convey in some of your lines, nor am I certain about the form or whether or not you'd intended to use a rhyme scheme or a particular form the stanza’s are a bit unstable, but over all a very delightful piece. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I’m looking forward to returning to your port again in the near future.
Sincerely
I really get the feel of Slam in this piece, and I must say that it truly rings a bell of total belief.
I like the flow the rhythm and the beat. I like the words that make me think even standing on my feet.
What I'd really like to see; is some Candidate running for the top office of our nation take those words and make them into a reality. For what I've seen from one and all borders on senility. Thank you so much for sharing your views and welcome to Writing.Com.? Great piece and a powerful read.
What a tribute to these fine men, this is very timely as it has happened again and again in other parts of the country...how can this danger be guarded against ever happening again? When will our government make it a crime to send men to their demise because no one take the time to check out these danger spots....Thank you so much for sharing this story and I must say it was well written and something that I'd not heard about before now.
Sincerely
Marlena
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I thought this was just a sweetheart of a story. Somehow I felt like it was Christmas and a miracle or 34th street. Great story and enjoyable read. I loved the ending and could see a sequel following this one.
Thanks for sharing and a real nice presentation over all.
Very heartrending story about a woman who was beautiful yet unable to find the happiness she so sought after in this life time. I could feel your emotions for this piece and some parts had a very easy flow, and others it seemed as though you were trying to reach for a word that wasn't there...I have that problem at times also and find it a good idea to read it out loud. That helps a lot. Thank you for sharing this delightful piece, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Evelyn, I can't express how proud I am to see the wonderful work you are doing and for all the many challenges you've had to deal with over the past year.
You are truly an inspiration and a joy to me your Rising Star Sponsor....for you truly are a Rising Star. My best wishes to you for all you are doing and good luck in getting your MFA in Creative Writing.
Kudos my friend.
What a lovely tribute to a beautiful lady...Funnyface...seems as she put her soul right into his hand and he carried her home to a place were she will find life renewed when the time comes...I love to read your gifted works they always make me feel wonderful about my day....I find thankfulness is something we can give each and every day....thank you for sharing and making this day beautiful in everyway.
Sincerely
Marlena
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This piece of fruit will never be the same again...'stupid fruit.' But I am so glad that just by accident I was sending a friend a link to someone else’s item, and instead of writing 131, my finger for reasons that I now will call accidental faith, hit the wrong letter on the keyboard....when I received a response back from my friend telling me what a great poem this was and thank you for sharing I was quite taken aback...since I had not sent them a poem but an image....needless to say we both had a wonderful experience reading and laughing our heads off...one; at this little cutie and 2; for my accidentally hitting the #2....Thank you so much for understanding and for the great read....
Sincerely
Marlena
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I thought I must come by for something good to read and maybe a good little laugh before turning in for the night...it is 9:11 PM in California and I have been on Writing.Com since early morning and I am tired and ready to turn in but I wanted something to read before I logged off....needless to say I found them both...a wonderful and delightful story and more then a few good laughs.....The three lines above these broke me up...I hope I can speak tomorrow.
"It was his last day as platoon commander. Tristan found out the navy wasn’t as broadminded as Haley."
It took me so completely by surprise, I had to hold my stomach...the next was when Haley got on her husband for petting the dog, and his remarks to her...priceless to be sure....well I'm sure I will get a very good nights sleep now… but I will play a few of your scenes over in my mind several times before going to sleep....Thank you so much for sharing your picture perfect story with us....it was a joy and a pleasure to read….
Sincerely
Marlena
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...It was lovely....