This was a real tear jerker and I don't mind telling you it really made me cry. I read that you wrote it as a fantasy but in reality it is all to real. Driving while under the influence of any kind of drug is the major cause of most lives. Your story could be the story of millions around the world right now and I would hope that it reading your short story will cause people to not drink and drive. Thank you for sharing it touched my heart.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I believe that these two are so right for one another as the sleuth and Lisa go about their lives in the everyday. I truly thought this was a piece that I had already read and upon seeing it reviewed on the public page I noticed the mention of a poem and I knew I'd hit pay dirt...excuse the pun! But I knew I'd not read one of your stories with the mention of a poem. So, here I am and what took place was phenomenal....Thank you for thinking too of the poet who loves the thrill of the mystery and the poetry.
The one thing I wondered about was the beginning where the author states the poem was written in the hand writing of Lisa Lansing. But in a later statement it could have been written by a serial killer who may have abducted Lisa. This was just something that stood out for me, and I had better read it again to make sure I read the contents right. Or it could have been just the doctors own opinion or the police---
I loved it and was thrilled by the metaphors you instilled, such as a handsome Prince who is possible a frog because of someone’s evil intentions…or a clue as how to find Lisa.
I love the (Wind), but I’ll never capitalize it again ever I wouldn’t want it to be called evil.
This book is one in a million and between the two of you; I will always have a good read at my table. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful gem. Keep writing always....
Very nice write, and a good title would be 'Lost.' And
if you don't like lost, maybe 'Somewhere along the way' another good title, all the titles found in your sweet poem. Good luck in your writing Ann, and welcome to Writing.Com. I hope that you find your way around the site and if ever I can be of help let me know.
Sincerely
Marlena
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I am so glad I came upon this wonderful piece this morning. It is, good food for the soul, and for a grilled cheese sandwich! Something I could eat 24/7.
I love writing and sometimes I go back and check my writing and sure enough I've jumped to switching a point of view....thanks for bring this to my attention I love it....
I agree with you 100%! Children should be read to before coming through the birth chamber in my opinion...my children love to read and I read to them throughout my nine months and after birth. I think it takes them into a different world that they love to explore at a much younger age....Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
I love this poem, and all the things it brings to my mind, I know how it is to become attached to a place you call home and what a wonderful feeling it is to wake in the mornings and be in that place. Thank you for the joy in reading this lovely piece and welcome to another lovely community your second home Writing.Com....Hope you'll love being a part of this great place.
I love the feel of this little sweetie, it has a nice beat and a good rhythm and I feel like dancing when I read it...I love all your stanza's but this one puts me in a light hearted mood....
'A walk in the park, and
watching children play,
is like being in heaven
with the angels and Gabe.'
Some very nice tones in this piece, and a very gentle beat...I could sense the Wind tugging at the leaves and even see the rubber plant and a quite Sunday when all else was still...I feel your emotions as you write about this place and the love, and peace you feel as you write. Thank you for sharing and Welcome to Writing.Com.
I love the freedom of this poem,
and how it moves so lovely across
the page, and gives the visuals of
a beautiful Angel as she sweeps down
the street. Touching each and everyone
she meets....Good read and great little
writing...thank you for sharing and welcome
to Writing.Com....I look forward to reading more.
Many questions on life’s journey, and as the reader I say; 'why not.'....You've written a list of questions that some may answer and others will not but the one thing we do know is that; 'life is beautiful' for just a short time or a life time...it, is what we see it as or better yet what we make of it....Very nicely written and I hope you've got all the answer's and welcome to Writing.Com....
It is so nice to let your friends know how you feel about them before they or you leave us all behind...I too have just written a similar letter to friends just today!...And I must say I like yours a lot better.
Thank you so much for sharing...this sweet note and welcome to Writing.Com.
‘Though common in the mud and also common on the land,
The Crocodile prefers to sit where all is cool and calm.
But time to time he gets a chill, so into heat he moves;
His unassuming verdant bulk sits in sun with ease.’
You are so right this is one young fellow I don’t want to ever run into, dead or a live…first time I’ve had the pleasure to read about him in a poem or contest and I didn’t find it to scary at all. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
‘I often think about that dress
And how I loved it so
In days when I could set a trend
'cause Mum taught me to sew.’
What a delightful poem! And it takes me a long way back when I loved the snow white frock that was upon my back….Meg a truly great story and regally written….I love every line but these lines above I dearly loved….Thank you for sharing with us and good luck in the contest.
‘His obnoxious behavior is displayed each time he wins anything.
The times when my daughter or I beat him, he automatically gives the
classic whiner excuses of, "You cheated!" or "I wasn't ready yet!" .’
I can truly say I can relate to this story, I have a grandson who is like this! He feels he has to be the winner no matter what. I hate to see him play games with the other children because he is so obnoxious and competitive until they become so overwhelmed they throw their hands up and say; “no more.” Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
I love this little cutie....I love the butterfly and I've always considered myself a free spirit like the elusive butterfly....and my favorite niece Robin who passed away 2 years this month always called me, 'auntie butterfly,' and she thought of herself as a free spirit and a butterfly.....So, anytime I see a poem about that tiny winged thing....I rush to read...I know your niece would have been thrilled with this little beauty....Thank you for sharing your butterfly and welcome to Writing.Com.
I like your writing on living or dead! I know there are those that can speak to the dead, so why not see the dead. I believe in ghosts. I loved the 'Sixth Sense' and most movies of that genre. Well done, and I couldn't have asked for more unless you'd written a book. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com....Keep writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a lovely tribute to someone you loved and who loved you a great deal. Losing those we love are always harder on us than we can ever imagine and having recently lost 3 members of my family I know the pain you must have gone through....Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I seems you've learned to see around you and that you were able to take a negative band and place a golden light around it and come around being very positive...that is a very good thing...to know that when one cares about ones self the people around you will follow suite....I love to see that in this poem about ones self....Good luck in your writing and welcome to Writing.Com....Thank you for sharing this story with us....
Just one little typo: 'But no sees me for the person I am.' You left out (one) as in 'But no one'
Nice work, keep it up....
Sincerely
Mduci
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Well, from the moment I started to read this cute story I knew all the time that your new love was going to either be a new grand-daughter or you know....? I don't want to give the story away....but you just didn't strike me as that kind of a player!!!....Loved the story and love your writing! I think you should keep it up! And right here on Writing.Com....Welcome to our wonderful site...And I look forward to reading more of your writing in the very near future.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Your writing never ceases to amaze me....your stories are always ones that I can relate to people like the one's in this story...where do they all come from? I loved this story and the end was so positive after so much negative emotions. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being a winner in the weekly Rising Stars contest...
Hugs
Marlena
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A very warm story, but I would have like to see more dialogue and more story line with regard to the prompt. But what I did read I liked and would like to see you add more to the story sometime in the future.
What moved me the most about your story
“I see her walking in the fields; she looks beautiful, so young and free. How she loved to pick through the fields before school would start. Celia was so adventurous,” Said Annabelle
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
What a perfect day for this kind of story—some rain, some sunshine, some more rain, and a hot cup of coffee to top it off. I love the story, I love the way you told it…making me see every last detail from beginning to end. Best of all I love the font you used for tired eyes to see with out reading glasses. I could have curled in front of my fireplace and read all day. Thank you for such a wonderful read.
What moved me the most about your story
"Momma? Momma, wait!" Sarah screamed. "Momma, I wanna come home! Momma?" She ran after them, gliding through the wheat.
As the sun rose, Sarah saw a river of living lights flowing toward her. Silently they came out of the sky by the hundreds, by the thousands, and then crashed into her heart and carried her away as hushed as golden sunshine in a waking dream.
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
I loved this story and your telling it brought the images right into view.
There is a point that I kept looking for the prompt, and maybe you gave me a clue with her running through the grass and into the cloud’s that I’m going to accept that you saw the mirror image. Because I did like the way you told the story.
What moved me the most about your story
And with the strength came a yet greater sense of innervations. She became aware of how the ground beneath her feet seemed to be supporting not merely her physical body, but her very soul, and she leapt up and began to bound along toward the clouds and the light that seemed to be calling her now ever more strongly.
I was moved because I felt the sense that the physical and spiritual bodies had somehow connected, thus creating the prompt.
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed your story and how deeply moving I found it. This morning I was looking for stories that would be up lifting and mood changing and I found it right here in your port.
The story of a father dealing with his five year old after the loss of his wife and seeing his wife again in the wheat fields trying to show him something was just what the doctor ordered for me this morning. Wonderfully written and held me from beginning to end.
What moved me the most about your story
David woke, his heart pounding in the dark. Now he knew what Rachel had been trying to tell him, or maybe what his own heart had been trying to tell him. He needed to move on with his life. Rachel was gone and he shouldn’t feel like he was betraying her. She would always be with him.
The tenderness of your story moved me to tears…
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
I felt you followed the prompt very well, and I truly enjoyed your story of Jenny and Sara the sisters who played together in the wheat fields but no one knew except Jenny, as Sara is a child who cannot walk or play.
What moved me the most about your story
Sara looks to me, puts her finger to her mouth and says shhhhhh. It’s our secret, remember? We’ll dance and play another time she says as she fades away into the mist. I thought this scene very touching.
Thank you for sharing your story good luck in the contest, and keep up the great work.
Sincerely
Marlena
Short Shots Reviewer
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