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101
101
Review of Failure  
Review by mugen shiyo
Rated: E | (4.0)
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whats up dude. your absolutely right. failure is a disease that can corrupt the soul, and it's definitely better to think of the positive rather than the negatives. i disagreed a little with the comment about a person drowning on hopes of ambition and improvement. no one drowns on hopes, they drown on regrets of hopes not accomplished. while an argument thats pretty well laid out, as a piece that attempts to uplift the spirit, it's a bit gloomy but a good nonetheless.

well-written wingman

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102
102
Review of Passion's sake  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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pretty good poem, goddess. the beginning was really good and kind of sets the mood for this moralistic poem warning against rash lovers too quick to get married. i like the style of poetry as well. like classical or ancient poetry, it puts a certain feel of "wisdom" to the whole work. i thought the rhyming in verse three was a bit shaky, but everything else was great.

nice poem, goddess

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103
103
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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whats up, darkheart. definitely a dark poem...or at least a groggy gray. it has the rhythm of a ballad to it, and it takes the reader through the mind of this unfortunate king of sorrow. this could be a metaphor for any person in charge of his own wretched sort of life. the rhythm kind of shifts around a bit here and there, but overall a good poem.

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Review of Follow the Light  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
pretty cool story, toemoss. not bad at all. you even came at this tsory from a fresh angle- putting the reader in the mind of the zombie as it was decaying. kind of felt like a rollercoaster ride where you just sit back and watch through the eyes of a zombie as she chews through her former companions. nice work toemoss :)
105
105
Review of Wings  
Review by mugen shiyo
Rated: E | (5.0)
great poem winter wolf. dreams are the most vital parts of our being. the words you wrote are very meaningful. inside, between the lines, you ask yourself the same question many people will ask of themselves. i hope the answer comes soon. nice job, wolf.

106
106
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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very interesting story. the title alone grabbed my attention, but then you have a very convincing oratory and you have made a very interesting world from the viewpoint of a shodowy figure who lives right under the guillotine. i especially liked your decriptions of the seemingly omnipotent Squaad members- which i am wondering how they will be dealt with- and the little other quirks like "water-arrows" make for a pretty good story from a creative mind. nice start. hope you stay to the finish :)

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107
107
Review of Haunting Shadow  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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nice imagery. really puts strength in the meaning of your words. when i think on it, you are definitely right how words can turn our mindset and self-perception into something as dark and twisted as what you describe above. like venom for the soul. very expressive write, laura. my suggestion for a title word be "Torn" as i dont think they allow things to be Untitled

nice write though...

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108
108
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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nice, tim. really liked the abab flow and the content of the poem told a pretty good story. at first, i thought this was something from the depression era until i realized you were talking about modern times. actually, it could be either. really puts you in the shoes of those who are not-so well to do. either way, very good.

nice work, tim :)

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109
109
Review of Under the Skin  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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hmmm...i liked the title and the description's concept and i liked the story you tell for the most part. i didn't think the 'sludge' analogy was exactly right. and then again, when people lie, deceive, deliberately blur, or make vague a true motive or opinion, it's becuase they know their real thoughts will have a negative affect, either on them, someone else, or everyone. while i can appreciate truth, life's life. you got to bob and weave. but i do see where your going, and it's a shame we can't be completely open and truthful. somehow, though, i think if everyone said what was on their minds, the world would have long been a nuke heap already

good write, dead man *Thumbsup*

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110
110
Review of Life Change  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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wow...very interesting story. death, or near-death experiences can turn a person around completely. they also give the person a sort of fearlessness in life they did not have before, as if awakened to something personal in them. your ending almost seems almost too good to be true. a -righting-all-wrongs ending, but a good one. i could definitely epitomize with the ending. i don't know why, but i do

nice :)

*Note6* *Note2* Suggestions:

who brought charges, would be out
i don't think the comma is needed here

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111
111
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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what's up, freebird. very interesting article. enjoyed every minute of it. seems like you had a "damn...i should've just" moment. your right, patience is a virtue and sometimes it can be much more rewarding to take a breather and keep your cool, but sometimes it definitely worth nuking everything around. the trick is knowing when to do so.

the story was really engaging, very intereting, and very well narrated. had no problems visualizing or catching the characters thoughts, frustrations, and the like. and there's some pretty good lessons of social issues that you could gleen from this experience. overall, nice work free. keep writing :)

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112
112
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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whats up, bruce. you certainly got some imagination. your writing is a bit on the wildside though. i heard genius's were sloppy but thi article needs some proof-reading. it's got quite a few errors in it that get in the way of enjoying the read.

i read the article and after reading it, i think you meant PERPETUAL motion, and it's a good idea. people are already trying to make it work as we speak. the problem is, outside of a near or absolute vacuum, perpetual motion is very hard to achieve because theirs always another force- if not a variety of forces, ie. gravity, wind, pressure...- that is always acting on the perpetual system. also, they BELIEVE that any system is due to incur some loss of energy in some form which would only make the best of perpetual motion theories NEAR-perpetual.

magnets and generators are the future. it's pretty cool you were able to imagine that. powerful large-caliber military guns and trains are expected to use the principles of magnetic repulsion to propell objects forward in the future. a generator makes electricity by spinning one magnet over other stationary magnetss. the electrostatic force thats induced in the magnet is collected and used to serve whatever load it can. the problem is you still need something able to spin the rotor fast enough and so another power source- like steam or explosive force (igniting fuel) is needed

the ideas you present are good ones and hopefully you find something that can help us all. things like this are only stepping stones of a mind built to innovate. good luck with everything bruce.

*Note6* {c:lk*Note2* Suggestions:

I know my notes are a mess sorry...
NOT a good opener for someone who wants there article to be read

I am working on it I am one of those
period after 'it'

it never fails the good Ideas come when I am doing something like cleaning and or out taken a walk an can not get to the computer so
for most writers, musicians, theorists, entertainers, innovative ideas are spontaneous and probably rarely ever come when they are sitting down "thinking about it". far better to move around and stir the blood. take a memo pad with you so that when an idea comes to mind, you can jot it down real quick. that way, good ideas don;t go to waste

This is as Idea for propulsion systems
'as' should be 'an'

Most of the work is Bible base research
'Bible base' should be 'Bible-based'

all has been used to help think to help me write
get rid of 'think to help' here. the sentence will flow smoother

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113
113
Review of Nested Minds  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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whats up, jim. this FF has a pretty cool beginning with a bunch of pyscics moving through the ruins of former new york. the actual lack of info here (understandable because of the FF) makes it even more interesting because it makes things mysterious; you wonder how it happened, how the psycic's came to be, and the like. the event seems to be closing in on a final scene, but the final thought in this story was a bit lackluster- that these psycics, after their investigation, have come to the conclusion that we used the things in a dictionary to destroy ourselves. don't mean to pick, but i'd try another ending. overall a good story, though.

also, not sure if the people "floating" down the streets was literal or not, but i took it as literal and it seemed better

write on :)

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114
114
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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whats up, tim. really liked that poem. pretty insightful and opinionated and i agree...it's hard to be the good-guy and be yourself

really liked the two ending lines, also. almost philosophic. reading this, it almost seemed as much an article as a poem, but it works well either way.

nice write, tim. good thoughts :)

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115
115
Review of Once upon a star  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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whats up, rose. this poem is very short, but it thought it was a very good poem. it addresses the painful contrast between expectations and reality. really liked the first line and the ending line was great. welcome to the site, and keep up the great writing :)

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Review of Come back to me  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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very cool poem. very expressive and the sentiment comes across clearly. it's sad too. very well-written and with alot of depth to it. i couldn't say more without blabbering. simply a great poem.

nice job, michelle :)

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117
117
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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ahhh...long distance relationhip. i guess it would definitely be hard to part after you have been in the presence of the loved one. you definitely bring out some of the emotion in the short tanka. keep up your PMA, positive mental attitude. if you can wait for the dude in faith, he'll respect your loyalty and devotion above all others

later, D

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118
118
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL...this one' pretty funny, and a bit songish too. nice poem, daniella :)
119
119
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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hmmm...all your writing has reoccuring themes, ms nmeli. much potential, many ideas, get-up-and-go. your writing suggests these are major factors in your life, and you don't like to see other people waste them. in this one, i thought you gave a really detailed account of such a person. it makes the person feel like a black hole- darkness moving around taking in all the light around it or any that is shone upon it because that's it nature. i know the type. but black holes- like you say- are the most powerful objects in the universe. inside them is more energy and light than a billion suns. the trick is finding a use for that energy, and focusing it. life makes you a talented loner. be confident, and one day, you will be writing about your successes

as for those ideas, try writing them down. your goals too. serperate the realistic ones from the overblown, then write down small steps to follow them. stick to them, don't let fear of failure or embarassement get you down.

nice write, nmeli. a bit reflective for me also... :)
much luck to ya, nmeli

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Review of My Dearest Friend  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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i'm thinking i never seen a more sincere tribute on this site, and i probably won't again. the way this sound, it sounds like the two of you are soulmates. feels familiar also. i liked the part with the twins-for-a-day thing. it's a shame you two don't actually meet up with one another. overall, a really great tribute to your friend. poetry or prose, it kinda sounds the same when the meaning is deep and sincere like this. oh, and the picture makes the letter even better

best a' luck :)

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121
121
Review of Seize the Day  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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lol...sounds more like a mental prep against stress than inspiration to "seize the day" but it works. it works well, lol. great job. short, but it has a lot of wieght to it

later :)

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122
Review of Gray Rain  
Review by mugen shiyo
Rated: E | (4.0)
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nice, kiya. the best part is that it flows pretty smoothly without the odd jilts you get from the kind where you can see the effort made to stay in form. i thought the aliens thing was a bit odd, as it seemed a little abrupt since everything else was about nuke/acid rain, but overall, pretty good. the gray was a nice touch.

later, kiya :)

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123
123
Review of A Demon's Kiss  
Review by mugen shiyo
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
WOW...not afraid to let it out, are ya. pretty cool, stained :)
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124
Review of ~Nearly An Angel  
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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wow...good girl gone bad. heard of the type. either terrifickly bad or good...no in between. you've got a pretty stricking writing style. very strong imagery of an angel turned demon. i would list them, but i'd just end up re-writing your poem. sad thing is, it sounds like someone i know, caught on the darker side of things. love can be wicked.

nice write, stained. the red really works here :)

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125
125
Review by mugen shiyo
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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whats up, ozhan. liked the story. you see what's coming at some point as soon they mention the political, but it still hits hard when the punch is revealed. can't imagine how much hurt the old man might have felt at hearing that, and i think you did well at not describing it directly. the end was pretty sad, but the story was a great write.

great job, oz :)

*Note2* Suggestions:

a well spoken one at that.
'well spoken' should be 'well-spoken'

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