"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: TouchFirst Impression: This is an entry for The Writer's Cramp, so I do appreciate it was created following a strict time constraint. OOO, a steamy bit of writing here, very suggestive. You hint at an online meeting and conversation before an actual hook-up. I admire how you wove the prompt words into this poem. You tease with the less-is-more philosophy. You only refer to 'touch'. You never elaborate and this creates mystery, allure. I appreciate your use of 'blossoms' to be something other than related to flowers. What needs your attention: Nothing. Although short and succinct this poem is like the clandestine meetings in the car, brief and intense. You need only hint at actions, reactions and the reader can fill in the rest with innuendo and/or imagination. These two were not together to play a board game. What part I liked best: I mentioned the fast-moving urgency this evokes did I not? It is hot and intense as I commented. A secret tryst is constrained by lack of time and opportunities and locations to be together. The pace reflects this. Your poem reads as both a remembrance and a yearning for another encounter. Communication manifests in many forms, doesn't it? You subtly write about the different senses with mention of the summer heat, the anticipated touching, hearing a lover's voice, sighting a particular hairstyle. Overall Impression: I love this vivid piece of writing. You packed a punch with your carefully crafted portrayal of intimacy. Kudos. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say???Listen carefully. (1777 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Glory In Full Vision First Impression: Plagran is a different, unique name. Your title roused my curiosity and I was forced to read to the end to realize its meaning. That is a great ploy. Keep the reader hooked. Again, I was intrigued. Why did Plagran wish for another chance, "one more shot"? I understood he was referring to some sort of competition.What needs your attention: The sentence that begins with " he had always told his friends" should begin with a capital letter for 'he'. Sorry, I am confused. What would Plagran not wait to be told? I also confess to not understanding the scene at the coast with the sword. Perhaps you could elaborate add more explanation? What is the "simple thing", the "simple idea"? Sometimes, when we write we forget to flesh out the story. We know what we wish to write, but do we cut corners, or forget important details. This is worthy of an edit. The premise is here. What part I liked best: The name is growing on me. With the scene you painted, I can picture the fall from grace as it were the hero's sudden end to the initial 'clash'. A robotic steed is an interesting concept. May I suggest adding Plagran's feelings and reactions at this point? Powerful verbs create atmosphere and tension. Do not assume the reader will fill in the blanks. I like the idea of a contest, a joust, an event with spectators. How did those viewers react to this unfortunate event? His unattained victory would have become his glory.Overall Impression: This story has potential with an original name for the hero and the idea of a public dueling contest aka gladiators. I realize the constraints of The Writer's Cramp create a quick turn around. A story must be composed and entered in a twenty-four hour period. Editing is often sacrificed. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(2068 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this of piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The ChatFirst Impression: Ooo, that title could be ominous, as in horror story ominous. As it happens, this is exactly what it is to a poor young boy. One minute I am reading about uncomfortable family members in a humid vehicle and then wham, they are at a hotel-side pool with Amy still not revealing how one word, chat, magically subdues her brother. Great suspense and lead in! Family car trips can be problematic and feel like a life sentence.What needs your attention: When describing the car window as being stuck half-opened you should substitute "to' for "it". As in "impossible to get it any lower." May I suggest "It shouldn't have been much of a surprise." Since Amy is reaclling the incident that had frightened her brother into compliance and it happened in the past it might be better to not refer to bribing Jack with ice cream tomorrow, Instead try 'the next day'. What part I liked best: Your descriptions are vivid and lifelike. Amy ogling buff male joggers. Jack fussing and whining trapped in the back seat of a hot car. The poolside confab with father and daughter. The reveal of just what "the chat" is to the reader is funny. Imagine cuddling your sobbing, frightened younger brother while threatening him at the same time with the possible return of his terror. Brilliant! Devious! Self-serving. Yes, she seems to possess the ticket to get away with a great deal... for now. There must be many 'things' parents are blissfully unaware of and they would make fantastic tales.Overall Impression: This is a compelling well written anecdote. It caused a few chuckles. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It was my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1887 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Five stars for you 'cause you mentioned me and in such a flattering light! May we both survive GoT. Here at WDC and battling in this challenge you are not alone. We are in this together. Perhaps we will learn something? I've learned I hate my computer keyboard. I think too fast for my fingers. It cannot possibly be a problem that my typing skills are of the pecking variety.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Glitch?First Impression: So, time travel is not all it is cracked up to be? It is problematic? I laughed at the absurdity of not only inventing a working time travel machine, but then giving it away as a curbside offering because the inventor believes it to be faulty. He demonstrated that it works and shared it with the neighbour. This is an amusing, quick read. Perhaps Professor Jenkins invents just for the sake of it. He ventures and then grows bored. Would tossing something a mere few feet really result in a catastrophic alteration to the earth? But something does occur and he is absent-minded enough not to notice. I chuckled. His cat becomes a dog. I'd say that is a definite change for Heisenberg!What needs your attention: I noticed a question mark is absent from the neighbour's question "Did you time travel."What part I liked best: Jenkins is above the trivial. He is intent upon his activities and therefore often clueless to his surroundings. He recognized the neighbour, but did not remember his name. He took the time to demonstrate his time travel machine, but acted offended and put out. He left owning a cat and returned to find a dog. Is that not a change, a big one? I like the humour , the ridiculousness of throwing away a special machine as if it was roadside trash. He assumes someone will want and utilize it. He has expectations only he comprehends. Overall Impression: This piece of writing is hilarious! Now, I have a picture of Professor Jenkins hunkered down in his home distracted and oblivious. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1837 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: The Miracle Bard of TriemFirst Impression: This story has a great flow to it. I read along enraptured and eager to devour it in its entirety. You reveal a boy's life subjected to a queen's favour. She cares not for his happiness. He is intended to assuage her sorrows and burdens. Marsden wallows along until he discovers his true gift and he resurrects the fortunes/well being of an entire kingdom. His singing gift then benefitted not only everyone, but himself as well. He graduates from being treated as a pet or amusement to a cherished benefactor. It is a feel good story, a fairy tale with a happy ending. What needs your attention: Absolutely nothing. I cannot think of anything that requires an edit. Your tale is understandable and as you write it, almost credible. I found the spacing made it easy to read. Your words were not cramped and jumbled. Wait, I espied a typo, a missing letter. The word should be 'knew' in "that Gillian new my thoughts."What part I liked best: Your description of the haughty queen relaxing noticeably when Marsden sang for her is a powerful scene. She understands she needs respite from queenly day-to-day affairs, but her lack of empathy for the boy is chilling. Gillian is depicted as a beautiful creature. Impressive that you created lyrics for Marsden's transformative song that restored vitality and prosperity to the land. I can picture all of that miracle unfolding. Marsden's true magic is that he is a healer. Overall Impression: This is a wondrous fairy tale with a satisfactory ending. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1833 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hell fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: The Tale of Peter PigletFirst Impression: I agree with the story teller/narrator. Why indeed can a pig not be named Peter? He could have been a Percival, or a Porter, or a Patrick or any other conceivable moniker. He requires some form of address and a method to identify him especially amongst other characters. I am chuckling/ guffawing as I read this anecdote of someone else attempting to read a tale to inquisitive and vocal children. Kids often interrupt to ask questions or proffer their observations. One comment leads to another. They feed off each other. They react. They argue. They wrestle and fidget. They proclaim their dislike or enjoyment. They always favour their own additions. The teacher in this tale also must act as a referee. What needs your attention: Nothing. This reads well as it is. I detect no misspellings or dastardly typos in your text.What part I liked best: I chuckled at the constant interruption from the children and the teacher's attempts to keep their attention on track with the story while juggling their concerns/suggestions. If Peter has a bunny friend then of course he could conceivably have an elephant friend. Today's generation have no idea that life existed and thrived long before the advent of smart phones, so, logically to them a pig could and should have checked the weather report on his device. I love the explanation that Peter was smart enough to write and read correspondence, but not to own and use a cellphone. What piglet ventures forth without an umbrella? You paint a chaotic, laughable scene.Overall Impression: This piece is hilarious and does not stretch the bounds of tenuous teaching reality in the least.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1995 characters)Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Spices, Jerk and ChiliFirst Impression: This is hot. You write about California, a beach, Jamaicans, jerk, romantic relationships and chili. All spicy, zesty things. Derice and Junior are likeable, hard-working fellows who support each other and seek to create a better life for themselves. With perseverance and determination they become entrepreneurs, popular, successful businessmen. It is a feel good story. They deserve my cheers.What needs your attention: I cannot see anything that requires an edit, or a re-write. This is well written. The dialogue is believable and great. You reproduce the Jamaican accent and it is fun to read out loud. The text you chose to use is easy on the eyes. Wait, I espied a typo? " All the locals where surprised." I believe you intended to use the word 'were.'What part I liked best: Of course, I liked the surprise ending. Junior snuck in and won with the chili he had been perfecting while supporting his cousin. So many concentrated on the jerk and expected it to be a winner. The idea of heat is repeated in the food competition, the rivalry. The resulting romances and their unspoken passions, heat, cause the story to simmer as well. There is a hint of parental matchmaking, cute.Overall Impression: This reads like a chapter to a much longer book, an opening chapter. You have set the saga and now raise questions. What comes next for the intrepid cousins? Will there be a double wedding? Will there be a brick and mortar restaurant run by the two chefs? Where is the rest of this story?Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1856 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. this is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" "My House Florent Signature" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Brittney's Fishing TripFirst Impression: I really like the family surname Pickles. It's a great moniker for escapades and hijinks. Are you familiar with an American comic that features a family using that name? The cartoonist is Crane. You describe a close, loving family dynamic. What child doesn't wish to spend quality time with Dad? To fish under a tree next to a pond sounds bucolic, heavenly. I cringed with Brittney. Baiting a hook with a wiggling worm, no thanks. Soaking up the sun and chatting with Dad, yes please.What needs your attention: Bear in mind these are just my suggestions. I believe you do too much explanation and repetition. The scene in which Brittney requests permission to go fishing could be shortened. Mom is already in the kitchen with the other two so, why repeat the formal query? Again with the unloading of all the gear at their destination. You mention over and over about removing the bamboo poles from the truck. As a reader I notice you already explained that, I understood it. I found a typo? "I was too short to get the line I'm." I believe you intended to write 'in.' Also, "gave the pole to me to hold."What part I liked best: I enjoyed Brittney's reaction to hooking a fish and her struggle to reel it in. I laughed despite their obvious distress when they ran up hill to escape the invading snakes. I could picture the daughter's pole snapping back behind her to repeatedly strike her father on the head. Overall Impression: This is a delightful telling of a moment neither parent or child will ever forget.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1883 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Joy! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sky foxes. Title: Fairy's Favor First Impression: What a delightful poem. The title appealed to me and tickled my curiosity. That almost ominous preview " when the tooth fairy is caught" is a great hook. I felt compelled to read more to find out what happened. I thought what could possibly occur? Your explanation spells it out in rhyme. I never considered that a fairy could and would be caught.What needs your attention: This may well be just me, but I find the meter, the rhythm of this poem is not consistent. The lines range from six to seven to eight beats in no pattern. This does not however detract from the story revealed herein. It is still charming.What part I liked best: I find the concept, the idea of this poem to be unique and imaginative. Imagine the capture of the elusive tooth fairy. Most of us have never even glimpsed sight of her. She lives in legend and evokes magic. The child's vested interest in the reward money is believable. Indeed it would be viewed as a "windfall." I love the two stanza description of this trapped fairy. The word pictures of " wings of stardust glitter" and "halo in lavender hue" are fantastic. Congratulations on rhyming phenom and palm. Clever and original to claim that the fairy shapeshifts into the very thing she has come to claim. I appreciate the enthusiasm ,the emphatic "wow geronimo" of the final line. I was cheering as well. Overall Impression: I will reiterate, this is a delightful poem. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say? Listen carefully. (1746 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello! my name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: The Big Race First Impression: I loved the initial suspense. What were the three men betting with? What were the stakes? The third competitor "only had six" with which to gamble. Their physical descriptions were not at all favourable or flattering. The "chicken leg" referee did not seem like a fine specimen of a male either. I was hooked by the build-up and curiosity as to the big race.What needs your attention: Well, I did catch a spelling mistake, or typo if you will. "Phlem" is supposed to be "phlegm." It is kind of an ugly word for an ugly bodily thing, eh? That is it, I have no other corrections, or suggestions for improvement. Do not change anything! This action-packed thriller reads well.What part I liked best: I love the suspense, the comedy and the non-stop action of this piece of writing. Of course, I had to read the entire story to learn what the gentlemen had wagered I guffawed when it was revealed to be doughnuts and that the contestants were at a weight loss camp. You used strong verbs to describe their efforts of strength, speed and agility, or more realistically, the lack thereof. I am sorry/not sorry that I tee-heed about their struggle and the injuries that side-lined two of them. All of this effort for a handful of sugary treats and bragging rights. Oh, and the race itself was not a cross-country run, or a marathon.Overall Impression: That episode with the obnoxious referee blowing spittle upon the winner is comedy gold. Thanks for the laughs! I shall never regard doughnuts in the same, familiar light ever again. This is a great bit of humourous writing and I can envision it as a sketch comedy skit.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1943 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Mother's Day TulipsFirst Impression: This is a lovely, poignant story, a precious retelling of a cherished moment. Our children do not remain young except in our memories. I believe most mothers would welcome the possibility of reining in the inevitable aging of their offspring. They grow up far too quickly. In a blink of the eye they are adults. The first paragraph describes a wonderful, sweet cuddle. Anyone who has raised children know they seldom sit still for long. Moms need that brief time to recharge their batteries.What needs your attention: I see no spelling errors or obvious mistakes, intentional, or otherwise. You relay your story in a straightforward manner that leaves no room for misinterpretation. So, do not change a thing.What part I liked best: I liked the loving, peaceful picture you painted with your words. I can understand a two and a half year old equating a dying flower with a popped balloon. It makes sense. Of course, he would be disappointed that the red blooms disappeared/ died. He remembered your joy at receiving the tulips. Nothing compares to the eyes of your child. They are very expressive. Ah, if only we could blow up new flowers. Imagine that. What a great memory to be saved and revisited with each sight of subsequent tulips.Overall Impression: This tale is a tender one that could only be shared by a loving, doting mother. I am smiling and thinking Moms are the most blessed people.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1712 characters )DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hi Gaby! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: C-Notes creations for all occasions First Impression: You have been very busy and creative organizing and showcasing these amazing c-notes. At first glance I see several varieties ranging from inspirational to holiday to birthday to thank yous to boosters. You have presented something for everyone. Each occasion or category is neatly displayed and this shop is easy to navigate. What needs your attention: I cannot think of anything to improve this collection of c-notes. Granted I know next to nothing about designing and offering them, but I do like what I see here. I am impressed. I recognize and appreciate your time and effort. Why mess with a good thing. What part I liked best: I admit this to everyone, what didn't I like? Fur Babies are irresistible and very appealing. C-note canines do not make a mess and they are still cute. I love snowmen and those c-notes called out to me. I especially laughed at the snowman fronting the phrase, surviving the holidays one meltdown at a time. Humour is a great survival technique. I also appreciate the sentiment, 'tis the season to get cozy and read. Any excuse to relax with a book is accepted. We could all use inspiration. Don't throw in the towel. I agree with this one and it too is encouraging. Remember imagination knows no boundaries. Amen to that! And who has not needed a push? DEAD END is NOT an option. I shall remember this one. Let your thoughts lead the way to the story.Overall Impression: This is a marvelous c-note collection/shop. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1816 characters)DISCLAIMER:The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hi Shannon! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Shannon's cNote Chalet First Impression: Wow, just wow! Call me impressed. I am in awe. What do you not offer? You have covered most official holidays and more. Green is my favourite colour, so I notice your headers. At first glimpse, the characters are so cute and endearing. You are not boastful. These are indeed adorable! How could I not be tempted to linger and browse? The window dressing here at your chalet is magical. I also cannot but help recognizing the time and effort you have dedicated to your lovely chalet. You took the time to organize by special events.What needs your improvement: Hmmm, I cannot think of a thing. How can you improve upon perfection? Would I be considered greedy if I requested more? Do not change a thing. What part I liked best: How can I choose just one thing, or one item? All of your cnotes speak to me. The Christmas ones are so cute and irresistible. I love snowmen, but those whimsical bells caught my eye. What a unique idea, blank c-notes. After all, we are writers here at WDC. Surely we can compose our own messages, right? Offering the artwork is a nice touch. The WDC c-notes are another genius idea. We can all appreciate some encouragement and sometimes recognition. You have not forgotten parents either. This c-note shop stands out thanks to you. Overall Impression: You are certainly talented and uber creative. Your delight in each example of cuteness shows. I salute you. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1730 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hi. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Dragon Blue's Variety c-NotesFirst Impression: Your c-note shop is very neat and organized. The graphics are colourful and catch the eye. Each c-note is separated from the other for better exposure. What needs your attention: I noticed that these were created a long time ago, 2006 and perhaps modified in 2018. Any new ideas? Something fresh? Perhaps more friendship c-notes? I am not a c-note expert by any means. I do know what I like though. I encourage you to add some more here. They will not go unnoticed. What part I liked best: I am drawn to the whimsical and the humourous. I liked this c-note. Help! I'm online and I can't get off! This does happen, eh? Who does not get lost surfing and searching the Web? hey, I'm over here, drifting aimlessly in a worm hole. There is so much that is fascinating. I have discovered c-notes for example. I also liked I'm not weird. I'm just very gifted. The apologizing alien is cute, too. I also browsed through your inspiration themes and birthday offerings. Who wouldn't smile in return when gifted the smile one? You have something for everyone. Overall Impression: You created some unique expressions here. I appreciate the time and care you devoted to your shop. We all could use these affirmations to boost our moods, our writing efforts and our friendships. As your one c-note reads friends are rare. How wonderful that you choose to contribute to WDC in this manner. Keep on spreading and sharing your positivity. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.1762 charactersDISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggetsions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Worlds Worst PassengerFirst Impression: Phew! That Mr. Ultra Platinum is a nasty piece of work. Thank goodness I have never encountered anyone like him the times I have chosen to travel by air. Where did he learn that a simple credit card afforded him special consideration? Talk about entitlement. Link Stokes is the poster child. I feel no sympathy for this inconsiderate bully and his ultimate fate. Disorderly conduct? His actions were more like despicable conduct.What needs your attention: Nothing as far as I can ascertain. This story stands as it is. Do not change a single thing.What part I liked best: Although I dislike Link and his ilk I liked the way you described him with his words and actions. He cares for no one but himself. He berates the counter clerk. He threatens to sue. He carelessly boards the plane. He ignores the comfort of the elderly woman seated in front of him and then insults her as well. He ignores the flight attendant. I chuckled when he spilled his underwear onto the floor, not once, but twice. I cheered to read he'd been escorted off the plane. If I had been there I'd be cheering the loudest. The sad fact is that people like this walk amongst us, oblivious to their obnoxious behaviour.Overall Impression: This story and its aftermath are brilliant! I suspect we have all encountered an odious creature such as Link which is a name that rhymes with dink. Hooray, Mr. Stokes angered the wrong person and earned his comeuppance. Why be so loud and vulgar if you do not wish to be noticed? Let this be a cautionary tale for the rampant bullies of the world. You may well star in a viral video.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. ( 1937 characters )DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Words that HurtFirst Impression: The rhyme and rhythm of this piece of poetry flows smoothly. It is not forced at all. Your first line is sharp and evocative. A heart in splinters and cut by words. Yes, words may be weapons that wound. Words always leave a mark. They are residual and may never be erased or forgotten. They are often carelessly flung and aimed at others with devastating results.What needs your attention: In a few lines of your stanza the rhythm changes slightly with one extra or one less beat, but I'm not sure this matters. Read out loud this poem just works. It is not jarring at all. I have no criticisms or suggestions. What part I liked best: You use your words sparingly, but with intent. Each one makes sense. The emotion is strong and underlined with your five or six beat phrases. ( Okay, occasionally the beat is four.) There's no need to expel any more emphasis or drama with superfluous words. The result is a beautiful starkness. It's as if the words stab, in and out, quickly, efficiently. They strike with optimum force. The first stanza is powerful and introduces the despair, the anguish, the savagery of words spoken in haste. "They cut to my core." What is your defence? You retreat into seething silence. Overall Impression: This is an eloquent poem that cries to the hurt of an argument or the cruelty of careless comments. The narrator expresses regret and confusion at not defending him/herself.Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. ( 1756 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views an opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: You Ought to Know By NowFirst Impression: Why is this not a chart-topping country hit? Yes, this describes far too many strong and silent, reticent, word-stingy males. I like the repetitive chorus which sums up the man's stance on talking. I'm laughing at his determination of what will be in his world. "And silent is the way it's gonna be." He's drawn a line in the sand and that's it, no compromises. My way, or the highway. What needs your attention: Nothing. I cannot offer anything to prettify or improve your so-accurate song. I'm humming it now even though it has no specific tune...yet.What part I liked best: Everything! The entire song is fantastic. "If I'd wanted you to know I'd have told you." This man's words are precious and not to be spewed helter-skelter. This gives new meaning to keeping it close to the vest. I like that that particular line is repeated and then reinforced with more thoughts. It's an ultimatum dressed up nice and neat. The third verse says so much. Your rhyming is impressive, kudos. Then again, some women do ask many questions ad nauseum a la " runnin' this into the ground." Questions kept in a head are difficult to restrain, aren't they? Is it really prying? I suppose some see it that way. Overall Impression: I'll reiterate my earlier comment/praise. This could be an award-winning country song. It just needs a melody. So many married couples could relate to your lyrics. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It's been my pleasure.What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1756 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Boy vs His Sister's Coat First Impression: This is a delightful story that hits all the feel good notes. What boy isn't naturally curious? Timmy is also relentless in his quest to bond, or is it provoke the magical coat. I appreciate the imagination displayed in this story. I can understand that boy's amazement when he finds a note addressed to him while caught in the act of raiding the coat's pocket. How could this be possible? What needs you attention: May I suggest you separate the dialogue from the other sentences? The speaking will be more dramatic and noticeable if it stands alone. Perhaps do not tell the reader that the coat revealed itself in a hilarious way. Let the reader reach that conclusion. Do not tell us that Timmy found the coat to be hilarious after the snow tussle, show us. describe. Use strong verbs. Did Timmy guffaw, gasp for air, did he whoop and holler throw his arms in the air? What part I liked best: The idea that a coat could and would shanghai a kid and wrestle him to a toboggan hill is creative. The pictures you paint are vivid. I can see Timmy and the coat tumbling in the snow while a crowd stared. Imagine this as animation. I like the spontaneity of the mischievous coat and this could easily become a series of stories featuring this piece of clothing. Overall Impression: This is a great, engaging, refreshing tale. A magic, mind-of-its-own coat would appeal to children who like surprises and absurdity. I'd fancy a similar sort of apparel. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen Carefully. (1755 characters ) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: C-Note Alley First Impression: You are so organized and have so much to offer. This is similar to a bright, clean and inviting real-life shop. There is a plethora of choices here. What needs your attention: Nope, I cannot offer suggestive criticism. What do I know about creating and offering c-notes? You've captured my attention. Kudos. What part I liked best: Oh, I have to choose? May I answer everything? Everything appeals to me. I like the Wacky & Naughty selections. I giggled and chuckled during my perusal. Farter Christmas? Harvey's rendition of Let It Snow? The fruitcake bemoaning that he feels as if nobody likes him. For the record, I for one dislike fruitcake. Overall Impression: You seem proud of your c-notes and rightly so. They display humour and heartfelt sentiments. I'm happy to have browsed here. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Hi me again! Sandra, one of the sly foxes. Oops, I forgot to include the important disclaimer with my review, so here it is. DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Greetings! First Impression: Okay, the exclamation mark drew me in. It's very noticeable, dare I say alluring. I appreciate the use of a well-placed exclamation. Then I noticed the different offerings and I passed to intrigued. What needs your attention: I cannot think of anything to offer in the way of improvement. Your c-notes are as advertised. What part I liked best: I am drawn to your humour as a moth to a flame. You've imagined what to say and how to present it without ruffling feathers. Who hasn't stumbled with this faux pas: I've put my foot in my mouth. The inspiration in 'Who can? You can' is heartfelt. OOO, I like animation. The alternative c-notes are my favourite. A bear nodding off reading something? An attempt to correct punctuation emphasized with a reference to a missed period and a pregnancy? Who doesn't appreciate a laugh? Overall Impression: You offer much for the word aficionado. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. it has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Hi! I am Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Dragon Blues' c-Note Collection First Impression: Wow! you have been very creative and busy. The first thing I noticed is all the vibrant colours. I also like the positive vibes you emit here. What needs your attention: Hmmm, I cannot think of anything. I am no c-note expert. What part I liked best: I appreciate all your time and effort. I love your organization, too. Your creations are positive and uplifting. The graphics are eye-catching. Many are cute and smile-inducing. Overall Impression: You seem like a thoughtful, caring , creative person. Kudos! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Oh Henry First Impression: The title caused me to think of many things, a chocolate bar, a former actor, and an admonishment from a wife. Huh, you wrote about the latter. Henry does indeed have a tolerant wife that laments his actions and complaints. I soon realized this piece is a flash fiction story and thus is limited to three-hundred words or less. What needs your attention: Yes, you are hindered / limited to a certain number of words to relate your tale, but I am left confused. A story needs a setting, a character and action that relates to a telling. What is the intent behind this story? Where is the resolution? Did Henry have a conflict to resolve? I do not understand the final line. A stranger is looking for a 'girl' he hopes has seen his sheep. Am I missing something? Yes, you utilized the three prompt words, but I believe there's more to this tale. Also in these very short writings words need to be strong and intentional. There's still room to show more and try not to tell too much. In this line "upset by his wife's sarcasm" you could show /describe henry's 'upset.' What did he do? How did he react? What part I liked best: I enjoyed your opening sentences and the word play/dialogue between the married couple. Bantering like this is realistic and believable. I chuckled at the wife's comeback. I've noticed people like this, squinting, and blaming the fine print. Overall Impression: You started out strongly with the couple's conversation and the newspaper print size 'issue'. After that the story seems scattered, unanchored. Henry noticed two different people moving down the road. What other than their being in that location and ambling along caught his eye? Yes, the woman wore a "puffy white dress". What of it? Did it remind Henry of something, a bride perhaps? Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say???? Listen carefully. (2170 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Timber First Impression: You obviously loved this dog. To even resort to lovingly remembering this canine's farting skill is a testament to his memory. This is the first time I've heard flatulence described as a "pungent art." The idea of "a symphony of smells" makes me laugh. This dog's charms made up for his odiferous presence. What needs your attention: I cannot think of anything that could use editing, or polishing, or rewriting. Timber would howl his approval of this ode. What part I liked best: Well, this is difficult. What did I like the mostest? The opening stanza beautifully describes Timber in all his "cloak of midnight" glory. "In the moonlight shadows a canine kink strides." I understand kink to mean a twist or a bend. It is true that dogs cannot seem to walk in a straight line. They meander, sometimes undulate. Comparing him to wolves gives him authenticity and a regal spirit. You intimate the bond you shared and credit this dog for making you whole. That closeness with an animal is unique. Dogs love with all their hearts and you recognize that in this poem. The rhyming and the rhythm flow easily and are not forced. Overall Impression: You put a lot of care into crafting this memorial to Timber and it shows. Your devotion and love shine forth in every word. I believe you intended to mean you were both rescued by this relationship and you cherish it. This could be employed by dog adoption agencies to toot the wonders/rewards of dog companionship. Look no further. Your best friend is here waiting to meet you. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say???? Listen carefully. (1979 characters ) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nannamom/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.36 seconds at 6:54am on Jun 02, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
