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316 Public Reviews Given
511 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Difference of One  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Lana !

*Snow2*Overall*Snow2*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! I do not have time to review each poem entered in my contest, so I will rate accordingly, and hopefully have time to drop by some other time and give your poem the review it deserves. *Smile*

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Review of Phoenix Intro  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Billi !

*Snow2*Overall (-/+)*Snow2*

Welcome to WDC ... again!

This seems like a truly wonderful story. I would love to see it continued. I think that this could turn into a wonderful story, novella, or even a novel. If you do continue it, please tell me.

I have one small thing to be picky about. I think the centering this story is confusing. You might not have done it on purpose, in the case that you copied it from Wordpad/Microsoft Word/Notepad, and then pasted it into the story box, it might have done that on it's own. Did you write {center} before starting this? If so, I suggest you take it away. But it is only a suggestion. You can do whatever you like. But if this is continued, and you write dialogue would have to be added at some point. And short dialogue lines would appear in the middle of the page, and the reader might miss it.

Well, I am sorry for rambling on, and if you don't care about the {center} thing, please ignore me. For now, please add more, and I really like what you have.

Keep on writing!

*Snow2*Beginning/End*Snow2*

Can't comment since the story has not been started. All that was written was the introduction.

*Snow2*Characterization*Snow2*

The only character that was introduced seems really interesting. I can
t comment further until this story is continued. Please add more to it. I would love to see what happens.

*Snow2*Plot/Finishing the plot/s*Snow2*

Since this is just the start of a story, one I personally would love to see continued, I cannot comment on the plot and finishing of the story.

*Snow2*Dialogue/Spacing*Snow2*

There was no dialogue, so I won't make any comments on that. As for the spacing, I think that you should double space this. Also, centering it makes it difficult to read. Here is what I mean by double-spacing.*Down*

Some call him a vampire, others, a freak, and the rest... well, they're just afraid of him. With his trenchcoat and fear-invoking ways, who could blame them?
His name was Phoenix, but no one knew that, except the teachers. But they soon learned not to call on him, because if they did, he'd train his evil eyes on them and make their blood run cold.


This is two sentences, going from one paragraph. I think that it owuld be better if done like this. (I.E. Minus the center and using a whole empty space in-between the two lines.)*Down*

Some call him a vampire, others, a freak, and the rest... well, they're just afraid of him. With his trenchcoat and fear-invoking ways, who could blame them?

His name was Phoenix, but no one knew that, except the teachers. But they soon learned not to call on him, because if they did, he'd train his evil eyes on them and make their blood run cold.


And of course, you would have the rest of the paragraph with these two sentences, but I do think that you should double space the paragraphs. And so not to confuse with my pointless rambling, only double space the paragraphs. Not each and every sentence. Someone actually did that once.*Smile*

Also, if you don't want toi double space, indenting would work instead. It would help people know when new paragraphs are being started.

Here is what you would do. At the beginning of every paragraph, or in dialogue, every sentence, write this: {indent}.

Sorryf or yapping so long!

*Snow2*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions*Snow2*
These are just my suggestions. You have every right to ignore me, or yell at me, or anything else you feel like doing.

*Snow2**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling/grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of this story.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Eden !

*Snow2*Overall*Snow2*

I like the images! Although it does say that you have seven visable items in the main folder. I can only see five. Oh, well. I keep stuff hidden, too. *Holds up hand guiltily*

All in all, you did a wonderful job with the orginazation (Which I will yap - a lot - more about below.

Keep on writing - and drawing ... and ... oh, well. Write on!

*Snow2*Content in sub-folder/s*Snow2*

I like what I saw. Though I couldn't see everything. *Poke poke poke* I am thinking that some of the images that I saw were the images you used for your bio, but I am not sure. Hmmm ....

I think that having the sub-folders within this folder kept everything neat and organized. If you had just splashed all of your images in one folder, it would have been a little confusing. Keeping the illustrations, c-note pictures and signarute items apart was a really good decision.

*Snow2*Description of folder*Snow2*

Well, your description is kinda short. I feel that you could add more to it. It's not needed, but I feel that the description (Within the folder - not the short description) is what will determine if the reader actually opens the sub-folders. If you say somethign negative about your images/stories/poems, the reader will most likely not want to waste their time dropping in.

All in all, what you have covers the basics, but sometime in the future, you might want to expand on that.

*Snow2*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions*Snow2*
These are just my suggestions. You have every right to ignore me, or yell at me, or anything else you feel like doing.

*Snow2**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling/grammar wise that could be used to fix up the folder.

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Review of Turning Fourteen  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi, Anti !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 6/21/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

I know the feeling! My fourteenth birthday is in four days! I can so relate to this poem. I think you did a wonderful job, and I like the ending.

Anyway, like it lots!

Good job and keep on writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

Both the rhyme and the flow were perfect. The mood seems to be slightly emotinal.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, someone special !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 6/21/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

I must admit. I really like this poem. It is very sweet and cute. I think that the idea is very orignal, and you put it into words well. I do, however, wonder what it was in stanza three that happened. It would be very interesting if you would elaborate on that and make this poem a little longer. Justa suggestion. Feel very free to ignore me.

Good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow and the rhyme in this were perfect. The mood was romantic.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, dmack !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

This is a really emotional poem. I like how you have the last line almost the same as the others, yet have it speaking about the man watching, not the people he is watching. What I don't understand is why you have the first line done three times in a row. It is interesting, but I was just a little confused.

I think that this poem has a deeper meaning than it lets on. As I was rereading this, I began to think of what three ways (Left, right and straight ahead) meant and resperented. I think it is up to the reader to figure that one out, as you do not address it outright in your poem.

Goos job and keep writig!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was wonderful, although I am pretty sure this free-verse again. The mood was emotional.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*Alone upon the bench(.) unnoticed by the world -- I think that the indicated period is supposed to be a comma. If not, please capitalize Unnoticed.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Dave !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/25/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

This is interesting. I like it. I don't think there is room for improvement in this piece, but never fear! I will be back! Sorry for the weirdness, I blame it on lack of sleep!

Good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was good, but the lack of rhyme in the poem made me think it was free-verse. The mood was slightly emotional.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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33
Review of after two weeks  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Authoress !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/25/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

This is interesting, but I was not able to understand the poem until I read the short introduction. I think that this poem would be better if you made it a little longer. Right now, it is very short.

Overall, I think this could use some lengthing and the introduction could use some work. Besides that, good job and keep writin!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was off, and the lack of rhyme made me think that this is fre-verse. I wasn't able to gauge the mood right.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*met in the parking lot the night i came back and saw there was not much more to say... -- I feel as if this is an incomplete introduction. you just say 'met'.Who met who? Shoudl that be 'we met'? Also, 'I' need to be capitalized.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Anti !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/25/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

This was an interesting poem, and I liked it. I like the overall meaning of this, you did a good job getting it across.

Good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was good, but the lack of rhyme made me think it was free-verse. The mood was emotional.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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35
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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Elycia Lee ☮ !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/25/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

This is a cool poem, but i do have a few suggestions. I think, first off, you should change the short introduction to something having to do with the poem. I find that most times, the short introduction is what will make a reader open the item in the first place. Not always, but a lot of the time.

Second, you need some more meaningful genres. Like, emotional, or something.

All in all, I liked this poem.

Good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was perfect, and the rhyme was every first and third, and every second and forth stanza. The mood was emotional.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review of Magic Mirror  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, intuey of House Lannister !

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/25/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence! And sorry for the short review. I have many, many entries to judge and not much time.

Ahhh! This is so cute! I am sure children love it! I think it is a very beautiful children's poem. The picture was so cute, too. Is this published? If not, it should be.*Smile*

Wonderful job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was perfect as was the rhyme.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet* -- I found nothign spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, jessiegirl!

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

This is your first review of five for the prize you won in "Invalid Item ! The prize was: 5 reviews, and an awardicon (or) a merit badge - donor's choice.

This folder is made up of four wonderful poems that I am sper glad that I had time to read. I understand why you won in the Idol contest, these are some wonderful poems!

Good job and write on!

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothign spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, jessiegirl!

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

This is your third review of five for the prize you won in "Invalid Item ! The prize was: 5 reviews, and an awardicon (or) a merit badge - donor's choice.

This is another cool poem. i once wrote something like it, about winter. I love the colors, too. I think you have gagued the emotion in this perfectly.

Good job and write on!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was good, and the rhyme was constant, each first and third line, and second and forth. I really don't know what the mood was.

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothign spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review of The Visit  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, kiyasama!

*Bullet*Overall(+/-)*Bullet*

This is a beautiful story. I like the main idea, of how a sister finds her brother and things don't go exactly as she had planned. I think things not going as planned work better in stories than if everything goes great; then it is just like all the other stories.

Anyway, good job and keep writing!

*Bullet* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*“I know you’re going to say something about the place but I’m going to fix it up(,) honest!” -- I think you could use a comma where indicated.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*my oldest brother Timothy(,) or Tim to most, -- If you do not use a comma where indicated, it seems as though everyone calls him Timothy or tim, but what is his fll name? Read it aloud and see how it sounds.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Midnight Cobra !

*Snow2*Overall(+/-)*Snow2*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/18/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence!

This is a very unique poem. I found it a little hard to read, though. The flow was off, so I had tor ead it a few times to get it going right. However, it is free-verse, so I didn't expect much different.

It was good, and carried a good message. I once wrote a poem about the same general subject. Anywho, I think you have pulled itt quite well. While I found it very hard to read, I enjoyed it somewhat.

Good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was off and there was no rhyme. I expect nothing less in a free-verse poem. The mood was emotional.

*Snow2* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing spelling or grammar wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, ms_penguin!

*Snow2*Overall(+/-)*Snow2*

Thank you for entering "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/18/06 and the winners announced shortly afterwards. Thank you for your paitence!

This is an interestig poem. I am not completly sure what it is talking about, but I am pretty sure I understand the whole thing. I did find one of the words a little offensive, but it is within the rating you have set.

Anywho, good job and keep writing!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember, rhyme and flow are not all that makes a good poem. This is just what I think of it.

The flow was good, except in a few places, and the rhyme was constant. And the mood was emotional.

*Snow2* Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I found nothign grammar or spelling wise that could be changed for the benefit of the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, eaglesIs40 !

*Snow2*Overall(+/-)*Snow2*

Thank you for entering in Round 7 of "Best of the Best [13+]! The judging will take place on 5/18/06, and it could last a few days.

This is a neat poem. I think you have done a good job, and I am glad that I read this.

Good job and keep writing!

         *Snow2*Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was good, but the rhyme was non-existant. But I think that is because this is free-verse.

*Snow2*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*Who is this God I serve--I think that, since this is a question, it should have a question mark at the end.

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Review of Memories  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, mousiebrowniecho !

*Snow2*Overall(+/-)*Snow2*

Thank you for entering in Round 7 of {ritem:}! The judging will take place on 5/18/06, and it could last a few days.

This is a good piece. It is not what I am used to, but I think you did a good job with it. I have no suggestions, but I do think that making the title and the 'Parts' of the poem into bold or something would be nice. Right now, they look like part of the poem.. Just my suggestion.

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was a little messy, and the rhyme was almost non-existant. But I am guessing that is because this is a freeverse poem. The mood was emotional.

*Snow2*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*I'm 14 now, although when I wrote this i was 12. -- 'I' needs to be cipatalized.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*Me and my grandad. -- That should be 'Granddad'

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Review of Seasons  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, VB is catching up !

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for leaving a request in "♥A Review 4 U♥ [E]! I am so sorry it took so long to get to you, but I have been a little busy.

I really like the meaning to this poem, and how you show the change of season to season; very orignal.

I realized that in the forth stanza, you use a comma at the end of the third line. Why not in the other three? I also noticed that you cipatalize at the beginning of the forth line in each stanza, although you have only used a comma, or nothing at all. These are just a few tiny things I am curious about. Neither are very important.

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.
The flow was perfect, and the rhyme was constant. The mood was emotional.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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Review of Disappear  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, NanoWriMo2018 Into the Earth !

*Snow2*Overall(+/-)*Snow2*

Hi! I think this is a very thought-provoking poem. I like the way it is put together, where each line in each stanza rhyme. It makes for a good read. I like the end. It is intresting. I also like the first line in the last stanza. It was like two parts, but you fit them together well to make one.

Good job and keep writing!

*Snow2*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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Review of Bearing God  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Lobelia is truly blessed !

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for entering in "Best of the Best [13+]! It or soon after it ends, and inform them by personal e-mail. Thanks again, and I hope you will consider entering in my next round. P.S. I have many, many entries for this round, so judging is going to take a while. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you.

I like this. I am a christan myself, so I understand perfectly what this means. I think you have done a wonderful job putting this together. I was wondering about one thing, though. Stanza two, last line. It is so long, whereas none of the others are near as long. I would normally suggest splitting it in two, but this is free-verse as far as I can see.

I also suggest you make the name in bold, or italics, because it seems as though it is part of the poem. I think it would be better if it were different than the rest of the poem in some way.

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow in this was good. There was not much of a rhyme. The mood is emotional and insprational.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Krista Agustin !

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for entering in "Best of the Best [13+]! It or soon after it ends, and inform them by personal e-mail. Thanks again, and I hope you will consider entering in my next round. P.S. I have many, many entries for this round, so judging is going to take a while. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you.

I found this a difficult poem to read and understand. I had to go through it a few times to find the meaning. I do like the ending. I think you should go through it and split it into stanzas of four or five. I think it would be easier to read. That is just my opinion, however, and you can keep it like this if it is what you want. Good poem all in all.

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was choppy. I think going through this and using punctation to show pauses and stops would help greatly. The rhyme was not so much, only in random places. The mood was emotional.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I found nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, mousiebrowniecho !

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for entering in "Best of the Best [13+]! It will end on 3/31/06. I will be announcing the winners when it ends, and inform them by personal e-mail. Thanks again, and I hope you will consider entering in my next round.

This is a very cool poem. I really like it. I love how you portray the message in the poem. If I were an oak tree, I don't know what I would do. Well, I certianly couldn't write anymore. LOL. Anyway, great job. I love the poem, and I wish you luck with my contest.

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was perfect. The rhyme was constant, every second and forth lines in each stanza.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*If i were an oak tree,--I know this is probably on purpose, but I am going to point it out anyway. Sorry, you can ignore me. I think that 'I' needs to be capitalized.

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Review of Sinking  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Nati Chick !

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for entering in "Best of the Best [13+]! It will end on 3/31/06. I will be announcing the winners when it ends, and inform them by personal e-mail. Thanks again, and I hope you will consider entering in my next round.

This is a very thought provoking poem. I like how it was put together, the first and last stanzas with eight lines, and the ones in between only having four. It is an interesting pattern I have not seen to much of. Anyway, I like this. I did notice that in some places, you use punctation constantly, but in other places, barely at all. Curious about that.

Anyway, good luck in the contest!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was geeat. The rhyme was every first and third and second and forth lines in the second, third, forth and fifth stanzas. And in the last, it was tha same. I was wondering about the first, however. I found that not much was rhyming in the first stanza, however, in all he other stanzas, the rhyme was constant. Why? The mood was sort of emotional.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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Review of My Baby  
Review by DevonMarie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, kiyasama!

*Flower4*Overall(+/-)*Flower4*

Thank you for entering in "Best of the Best [13+]! It will end on 3/31/06. I will be announcing the winners when it ends, and inform them by personal e-mail. Thanks again, and I hope you will consider entering in my next round.

The poem is very interesting. I am not used to reading this kind of thing, because I do not enter the Romance.Love genre very often. I am sure if I came back in a few years and reread this, I would like it better, and understand it better. Anyway, good job!

         Flow/Rhyme/Mood
Please remember that rhyme a flow are not all that makes a good poem. These are just my thoughts on it.

The flow was good. There was almost no rhyme, though it flowed so well, it osmetimes seemed like it did. I am unsure of the mood.

*Flower4*Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions
These are only my suggestions, and you have every right to ignore me.

         *Thumbsdown**Bullet*--I noticed nothing grammar or spelling wise that could be changed to benefit the poem.

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