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Review of Serpent lies...  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Blood curdles at night," explores themes of darkness, battle, and the longing for a return to a place of purity and light. It effectively conveys a sense of struggle and a desire for truth and freedom. However, let's take a closer look at your poem and provide some feedback.

First, let's consider the positive aspects:

Imagery: Your poem is rich in imagery and symbolism. The metaphorical language used to describe the battle against darkness and the moon as the "gatekeeper" adds depth to the poem.

Emotion: You successfully capture the emotions of longing, struggle, and the yearning for a better place. The repetition of "take me back" emphasizes this desire.

Flow: The poem flows smoothly from one stanza to the next, creating a coherent narrative of the battle against deception and the return to a place of purity.

Now, here are some suggestions for improvement:

Clarity: While the poem has strong imagery, some lines may benefit from greater clarity. For example, the lines "for your yolk is hollow / and your bowels constructed" could be made more explicit to enhance comprehension.

Consistency: Consider maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme or meter throughout the poem to enhance its musicality. This will help create a more cohesive structure.

Punctuation: Adding punctuation, such as commas and periods, can aid in guiding the reader and providing pauses where needed for emphasis or to indicate the end of a thought.

Title: The title, "Blood curdles at night," is intriguing but doesn't directly reflect the poem's themes. Consider choosing a title that better encapsulates the essence of your work.

Revise for Clarity: Some phrases like "yolk is hollow" and "moon as its gatekeeper" might be open to interpretation. Revising these lines to make their meaning more explicit can improve the overall comprehension of the poem.

Overall, your poem has the potential to be a powerful exploration of themes like darkness, deception, and the quest for truth. By refining certain aspects for clarity and consistency, you can further enhance the impact of your work. Keep writing and experimenting with your poetic expression.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your piece on the perspective of death in the post-modern era is thought-provoking and offers a unique viewpoint on a topic often considered taboo. It is well-written and explores the idea that in an age of advanced technology and medical interventions, we must rethink our approach to death.

You begin by highlighting the need for society to embrace death rather than deny it until it becomes unavoidable. This sets the tone for your exploration of how modern technology has not only extended life but also made death semi-discretionary. You argue that individuals should have more control over the timing and manner of their deaths, emphasizing the importance of rational decision-making in this context.

Your preference for a "last curtain" party with loved ones is a compassionate and practical approach, allowing for a dignified exit while avoiding the often painful and costly last stages of life. This idea reflects your desire for a more meaningful and controlled transition.

You also touch on the cultural and economic aspects of how societies perceive death, highlighting the extremes of both preserving life at any cost and accepting death as a natural part of life. Your mention of the "consumer paradigm" and the pursuit of immortality at any price adds depth to your argument.

Towards the end, you discuss the significance of one's attitude towards death, emphasizing that our mortality shapes our perspective on life. You stress the importance of leaving a positive legacy for future generations, making a compelling case for conscious living and responsible decision-making.

Overall, your writing is articulate and compelling. It encourages readers to contemplate their own views on death and consider how societal attitudes may need to evolve in the post-modern era. Your use of language is effective, and your ideas are well-structured, making for a thought-provoking piece.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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128
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Haunted Classroom


Your short story, "The Haunted Classroom," effectively builds an eerie atmosphere and introduces the reader to a mysterious setting. Here are some opinions and feedback on your writing:

Atmosphere and Setting: You've done a great job in setting up the atmosphere of the abandoned high school and the urban legends surrounding it. The descriptions of the creepy environment help create a sense of tension and anticipation.

Character Development: While the story mainly focuses on the setting and the urban legends, you've introduced four high schoolers. However, there isn't much character development for them. Adding more depth to your characters could make the story even more engaging.

Pacing: The pacing of the story is generally well-done, with a gradual buildup of suspense. However, there are a few places where the narrative could benefit from a bit more detail or slower pacing to enhance the sense of fear and anticipation.

Resolution: The story concludes with a chilling twist, which is a nice touch. It leaves the reader with questions and a sense of unease, which is fitting for a horror-themed story.

Grammar and Spelling: The story is generally well-written with good grammar and spelling. However, there are a few instances of minor errors that could be corrected for smoother reading.

Description: You've effectively described the haunted elements of the school, like the changing statue and the bloody tap. Adding more sensory details, such as sounds and smells, can further immerse the reader in the story.

Overall, your story has the potential to be a captivating urban legend tale with a few adjustments to character development and pacing. Keep up the good work, and continue to experiment with creating suspenseful and engaging narrative.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of On The Way School  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You've done a good job of describing the protagonist's journey to school, building suspense with the mysterious characters on the bus. The twist where the men turn out to be thieves is unexpected and adds an interesting element to the story.

However, there are a few areas where you could improve:

Grammar and Punctuation: There are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the story. It's essential to proofread your work to make it smoother to read.

Character Development: You introduce characters like Raju but don't delve much into their personalities or backgrounds. Adding more depth to your characters can make the story more engaging.

Description and Setting: You have a good start with descriptions of the morning and the bus ride, but you could enhance the setting by incorporating more sensory details to immerse the reader in the environment.

Dialogue: While the dialogue serves its purpose, you could work on making it more natural and dynamic to bring out the characters' emotions and interactions better.

Clarity: At the end of the story, it's mentioned that Raju's death is not true (60% of the story isn't true), which can be a bit confusing. It's essential to maintain clarity in storytelling.

Overall, you have the foundation of an interesting story, but refining your writing skills and paying attention to detail will help you create more compelling narratives. Keep writing and revising to improve your storytelling abilities.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Donuts  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

You've created a playful and concise 10-line poem with a nice focus on the cooking process. Here's a breakdown of the syllable count for each line:

Blobs of batter into the deep fryer (8 syllables)
The cooking scent makes my mouth water (9 syllables)
Next we drain these yummy cooked treats (8 syllables)
While I whip the sweet fresh cream (7 syllables)
Then pipe the gooey center (6 syllables)
Dust with spiced sugar (5 syllables)
Finally jam (4 syllables)
Can't resist (3 syllables)
...these dough (2 syllables)
Nuts! (1 syllable)
You've successfully reduced the syllable count from 10 to 1, creating a fun and engaging poem. Keep up the good work!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem captures the complexity of emotion, painting a vivid landscape of inner thoughts juxtaposed against a backdrop of physical sensations and observations. The intertwining of environment and mental state creates an immersive experience.

The opening lines, "The sky is fair, weather has become clearer," seem to set the stage for something positive, but this quickly shifts to an unexpected emotional turmoil. The transition from weather phenomena to personal turmoil is well executed, underscoring the discrepancy between external conditions and internal experience.

The line, "How come I feel lonely in a house with eyes and walls that spy on my thoughts vaguely often?" strikes me as particularly poignant. It encapsulates the essence of isolation amidst observation, capturing a paradox that many can relate to. Your choice of imagery here is striking; it conveys the idea that even within our own sanctuaries, we may not escape scrutiny—be it from others or ourselves.

I also enjoyed the metaphor of "I'm eloping with my stitches to be a nighthawk," which resonates on multiple levels, suggesting not just a merging with the darkness but also perhaps an acceptance of one's own flaws or wounds.

That said, the poem has a few spots that might benefit from revision for clarity. For example, the line "Speck of grains floating over head" is a little ambiguous. Is it a metaphor or a literal observation? Additionally, phrases like "big brave droplets of remorse" could be more effective if simplified. Sometimes less is more when you want to convey emotion directly.

Another area to think about is the poem's structure. While the free verse approach allows for a lot of emotional range, you might want to consider implementing a more consistent rhythm or rhyme scheme to unify the piece further.

Overall, the poem does an excellent job of immersing the reader in a rich tapestry of emotional and sensory experience. It’s quite successful in blending internal and external worlds into a cohesive narrative.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Winter Lai  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem adheres well to the Lai verse form, meeting each of the elements specified. Here's how:

Narrative: Your poem tells the story of a man struggling against the harsh winter elements. The narrative is clear and easily followed.

Structure: You've stuck to the nonet form with three tercets, satisfying the Bergerette or Viralai stanza requirement.

Rhyme: Your rhyme scheme is consistent with the aab aab aab pattern.

Syllabic Count: You've maintained the 5-5-2 syllable count for each tercet, which fits perfectly with the form.

"Arbre Fourchu": The shorter lines are not indented, adhering to the "forked tree" tradition.

If there's a place for improvement, it would be in the emotional depth. The poem does a good job describing the man's plight but could offer more insight into his thoughts or feelings. Since you're telling a story, adding emotional weight could make the reader feel more connected to the character's struggle. But, overall, your poem successfully embodies the Lai form.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing reflects a deep passion for the craft, Maãlík. It's clear that writing holds a significant place in your life and has helped you express yourself in a unique way. You've highlighted several reasons why writing is important to you, from personal expression to connecting with others on a deeper level.

Your commitment to authenticity in your writing, while respecting the privacy of those involved, shows a strong sense of integrity. It's admirable that you aim to serve mankind through your writing by sharing your truth and unfiltered expression.

Additionally, your willingness to embrace challenges, such as writing documentaries, demonstrates your dedication to expanding your writing skills. It's great to hear that you've found a supportive platform like Writing.com to pursue your passion.

Overall, your writing captures your genuine enthusiasm for writing, and it's evident that you approach it with joy and dedication. Keep up the excellent work!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of A movie review  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing shows potential, but there are a few aspects to consider for improvement:

Clarity: The transition between the initial statement about princesses and the quotes is somewhat abrupt. Try to provide some context or a smoother transition to make the reader's journey through your text more cohesive.

Consistency: Make sure to maintain a consistent tone and style throughout your writing. Mixing quotes from various sources with your own thoughts can sometimes lead to a lack of coherence.

Elaboration: You have some thought-provoking quotes, but it might be helpful to expand on how they relate to the theme of the text. Connect the quotes to the idea that being a princess is more than just appearances and elaborate on this concept.

Spelling and Grammar: There are a few minor grammatical issues, such as missing words or improper capitalization. Be sure to proofread for these errors.

Length: Your writing is quite short. Consider expanding on the idea of what it means to be a princess in a more detailed manner to engage your readers further.

Overall, you have the foundation for a meaningful piece of writing, but with some refinement, it could become even more impactful.


WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Review of a book  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story explores the theme of regret through the lens of time travel, and it does so effectively. The concept of a café where you can travel through time but are bound by certain rules, especially the one about returning before your coffee gets cold, adds an intriguing and unique twist to the narrative.

The message about cherishing moments with loved ones is a poignant one and resonates with readers. It reminds us of the importance of appreciating the people in our lives before it's too late.

The quotes you included are thoughtful and enhance the emotional depth of the story, particularly the idea that emotions are harder to hide from those we are close to. The analogy of seasons and life's difficulties transitioning into brighter times is also a nice touch.

In terms of improvement, you might consider delving deeper into the experiences and emotions of the four characters who travel through time. Exploring their individual regrets and how the time-traveling experience affects them on a personal level could add even more depth to your story.

Overall, this is a well-crafted story with a meaningful message. It's a great start, and with further development, it could become an even more engaging and emotionally resonant narrative.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short story provides a heartfelt glimpse into a relationship marked by love, memories, and challenges. The narrative is well-structured, with a clear progression of events and emotions. The use of first-person perspective allows the reader to connect with the narrator's feelings and experiences.

The story effectively explores themes of love and adversity, particularly in the face of health challenges. The gradual deterioration of the character's health creates a poignant contrast with the cherished memories and moments shared by the couple. It highlights the enduring bond between the two characters.

The writing style seamlessly weaves inner thoughts and external actions, as per your request, allowing the reader to empathize with the emotional journey of the narrator. The story is engaging and evokes a strong emotional response, which is a hallmark of successful storytelling.

Overall, this short story effectively captures a range of emotions and experiences within a concise narrative. It showcases your ability to create a compelling and engaging piece of writing, and the word count is within the specified range. Well done!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Impression  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your phrase, "Kiss her soul with loving lips for it knows all pure things," is beautifully poetic and evocative. It conveys a sense of deep affection and connection. The imagery of kissing someone's soul with loving lips suggests a profound and intimate connection between two people. The phrase also emphasizes the purity of this connection and the idea that the soul can understand and appreciate pure things.

It's concise and impactful, making it well-suited for a short story or as a poetic element within a larger narrative. Overall, it's a lovely expression of emotion and connection.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Xinta-3368  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

You've written an interesting short story with a clear focus on Xinta-3368, the female robot, and her solitary existence in outer space. Let me provide you with a word count for your piece: It's 169 words long.

Opinion-wise, you've created a unique and imaginative setting, and the story captures the essence of loneliness and isolation experienced by Xinta-3368. The inclusion of the birthday party as an unusual event adds a touch of humor to the story. However, I'd like to offer some suggestions for improvement:

Character Development: While you've given some insight into Xinta-3368's past and emotions, you could further develop her character by delving into her thoughts and feelings in more detail. This would help readers empathize with her even more.

Show, Don't Tell: Instead of directly stating that Xinta-3368 was once useful but became forgotten, consider showing this transformation through her actions, memories, or inner reflections. This can make the story more engaging.

Pacing: The story moves at a steady pace, but you might consider adding a bit more description or internal monologue to enhance the reader's connection with the character and the setting.

Overall, you've got a solid foundation here, and with a bit more depth in character and emotion, it could become an even more compelling short story. Keep up the good work!


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Review of Avenue 51  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem has a nostalgic and reflective tone, which is well-suited to the theme of reminiscing about the past and the sense of longing for a place and time that's gone by. Here are some thoughts and suggestions:

Imagery: You've used vivid imagery to describe the memories of Avenue fifty one and the emotions associated with it. This adds depth to your poem.

Rhyme and Rhythm: Your poem has a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB) and flows well rhythmically. This adds a musical quality to the verses.

Emotion: You've effectively conveyed the sense of yearning and nostalgia in your poem. The reader can feel the emotion behind the words.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)

Clarity: The poem is clear in its storytelling, and the reader can easily follow the narrative of reminiscing about the past.

Overall, your poem captures the essence of longing for a place and time that holds sentimental value. It's emotionally resonant and well-crafted. Keep up the good work!


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

This is a poignant and emotionally charged short story. It effectively captures the reader's attention with a dramatic and intense scene. The imagery is vivid, allowing us to picture the events as they unfold.

The character development is strong, particularly in the relationship between the witch and the young man. Their connection is palpable, and the twist of his return being too late adds a tragic dimension to the story. The inner thoughts and emotions of the characters are seamlessly woven into the narrative, which enhances the reader's understanding of their feelings.

The pacing of the story is well-executed, building tension as the witch faces her fate and the knight attempts to save her. The dialogue at the end, though whispered and drowned out by the fire, carries a powerful message of love and sacrifice.

The word count of this review is 247 words. Overall, this short story effectively fulfills your request for a narrative focused on a single character's experience, with inner thoughts and external actions seamlessly integrated. It's a well-crafted piece that engages the reader emotionally.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Dream Cycle  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Dream Cycle," is a brief yet evocative piece that explores the various stages and emotions associated with dreaming. Here's my review:

Word Count: 23

Opinion:

Your poem has a concise and focused structure, with each stanza representing a different phase of dreaming, which is effective in conveying the progression.
The use of contrasting words in each stanza, such as "Descendent" and "Ascendant," adds depth and symbolism to the poem, highlighting the cyclical nature of dreams.
The imagery is vivid, with phrases like "dreams shine like a spark" and "remembered ripples dance in the light" creating strong mental images.
The overall tone of the poem is contemplative and reflective, capturing the ethereal quality of dreams.
However, if you're open to suggestions:

Consider expanding on each stanza to delve deeper into the emotions and experiences associated with each phase of dreaming.
While brevity can be powerful, adding a bit more detail or narrative could help the reader connect even more with the poem's themes.
Overall, "Dream Cycle" is a well-crafted poem that effectively conveys the essence of dreaming in a concise manner.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your poem creates a vivid picture of a winding path through nature, and it effectively conveys a sense of tranquility and introspection. Here's a review of your work:

Your poem is concise and focused on capturing the essence of the scenery and the emotions it evokes. Let's break it down:

Imagery: You paint a beautiful picture of the winding path, the cotton clouds, and the meadows. The use of sensory details like the "cold sun" and the "lovely whistle" adds depth to the imagery.

Mood: The poem exudes a sense of calm and serenity, which contrasts with the speaker's more chaotic life. This contrast adds emotional depth to the poem.

Structure: The poem is well-structured with four quatrains, each offering a different aspect of the scene. This structure helps the reader follow the narrative of the path and its significance.

Rhyme and Rhythm: The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout the poem (ABAB), contributing to its musical quality. The rhythm flows smoothly, enhancing the reading experience.

Theme: The poem touches upon the idea of contrast between the peacefulness of nature and the turmoil in the speaker's life. This theme adds complexity to the work.

Overall, your poem effectively conveys the beauty and serenity of the natural world while hinting at deeper emotions and contrasts. It's a well-crafted piece that engages the reader's senses and emotions. Great job!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of " A ROOM "  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your writing, titled "A ROOM," appears to be a heartfelt expression of faith and belief in the promises of the Lord Jesus Christ. It conveys a message of trust, obedience, and the hope of salvation in a concise manner.

Here's a review and some suggestions:

Clarity and Message: Your writing effectively communicates the core message of trust in Jesus Christ and the promise of a place in His kingdom. The repetition of phrases like "A ROOM FOR ME" and "PROMISE FOR ALL HIS CHILDREN" emphasizes the central theme, making it clear to the reader.

Emotional Depth: You convey a strong sense of faith and gratitude towards Jesus Christ for His sacrifice on the cross. This emotional depth adds sincerity to your writing and can resonate with readers who share your beliefs.

Structure and Punctuation: While the message is clear, consider using proper punctuation to enhance readability. For example, use periods or commas to break up sentences, making it easier for the reader to follow your thoughts.

Vocabulary: You've used simple and accessible language, which is suitable for a wide range of readers. However, you can explore more descriptive language or metaphors to add depth and vividness to your writing.

Expand on Ideas: If you want to create a longer piece, you could expand on some of the ideas mentioned. For instance, you could elaborate on the concept of salvation and its significance in your life.

Overall, your writing serves as a meaningful expression of faith. If you wish to develop it further, consider the suggestions above to enhance its clarity and impact.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem displays a vivid and passionate portrayal of love. It's clear that you've put thought into each line, and your use of imagery and metaphors adds depth to the emotions conveyed. Here's a more detailed review:

Imagery and Metaphors: Your poem is rich in imagery and metaphors, which enhance the emotional impact. Phrases like "We radiate like fire," and "Love's aura shall endure" create vivid mental pictures that draw the reader into the world of your emotions.

Consistency of Theme: The theme of passionate love is consistent throughout the poem, creating a cohesive and engaging narrative. This consistency helps the reader connect with the emotions you're expressing.

Flow and Rhythm: The poem flows smoothly, with a consistent rhyme scheme and rhythm. This makes it easy to read aloud and adds to the overall enjoyment of the piece.

Emotional Depth: You've effectively conveyed deep emotions in your poem, from desire and attraction to the enduring nature of love. This emotional depth resonates with readers and makes your poem relatable.

Overall, your poem is beautifully written, capturing the essence of passionate love. To meet your word count requirement, you can expand on the theme or add additional stanzas to further explore the nuances of the emotions you've described. Great work!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Bound in Flames  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Bound in Flames" is a poignant reflection on the power of letting go and finding solace in shared experiences. The story beautifully captures the journey of a group of friends who decide to confront their pent-up emotions and regrets by writing them down and burning them, symbolizing their desire for emotional liberation.

The use of fire as a metaphor for releasing emotional burdens is vivid and evocative. It represents the cleansing and transformative nature of confronting one's inner turmoil. The description of the fire's warmth and the physical act of burning the written words create a powerful visual and emotional impact.

The author effectively conveys the depth of their emotions, especially their fear of abandonment, which adds depth to the narrative. The process of writing letters to those they resent and then reading them aloud is a cathartic moment, allowing the characters to confront their past and find closure.

The camaraderie among the friends is heartwarming and adds a layer of authenticity to the story. Their shared experience not only helps them release their burdens but also strengthens their bond, making them feel "bound in flames" as they move forward in life.

One suggestion for improvement is to provide more insight into the specific experiences and emotions of each character. This could add depth to their individual journeys and make the reader connect with them on a more personal level.

Overall, "Bound in Flames" is a well-written narrative that effectively explores the theme of emotional release and the importance of support and friendship. It serves as a reminder that we can find healing and strength in the company of those who understand and share our struggles.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Why imagine?  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, inspired by John Lennon's 'Imagine', captures a sense of unity and shared humanity. It's a contemplative and reflective work that encourages readers to consider the commonalities that bind us as human beings. The repetition of the word "Know" serves as a powerful device to emphasize these shared truths.

The theme of unity and togetherness is beautifully conveyed throughout the poem. Lines like "Our blood runs the same tint" and "We are in this together. And will always be." reinforce the idea of our shared experiences and interconnectedness.

The poem also touches on the transient nature of life and possessions, reminding us that what we consider "ours" was once someone else's and will be someone else's in the future. This idea adds depth and a sense of impermanence to the piece.

In terms of style, the poem is concise and impactful. It effectively conveys its message without unnecessary embellishments. The use of imagery is subtle but effective, particularly in the line "What are our spoils to share?" which prompts readers to contemplate the concept of ownership.

Overall, your poem is thought-provoking and succeeds in delivering its message of unity and shared humanity. It's a concise and meaningful piece of writing that encourages readers to reflect on the things that truly matter in life. Keep up the good work!


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem captures the essence of the daily grind and the struggle to find meaning in a routine job. It conveys a sense of loneliness and frustration that many people can relate to in their work lives. Here's a detailed review:

Emotional Depth: Your poem effectively conveys a sense of loneliness, frustration, and the desire for recognition and meaning in one's work. This emotional depth engages the reader and makes them empathize with the speaker's experience.

Imagery and Metaphor: The use of metaphors like "I feel like a dope" and "using sharpness and talent as a doorknob" adds a layer of vivid imagery to your poem. It helps in painting a clear picture of the emotions and struggles the speaker is going through.

Rhyme Scheme and Flow: The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme, which helps in creating a pleasant rhythm. However, in some places, the rhyme feels a bit forced, such as "spectacular" and "peculiar." Consider revising to maintain a smoother flow.

Word Choice: Your word choice is generally strong and evocative. Phrases like "crafting possible good and hope" and "no class in my world" are particularly effective in conveying the speaker's feelings.

Structure: The poem is well-structured with a clear progression of thought. It starts with a sense of loneliness, moves through moments of self-doubt, and ends with a reflection on the challenges of work life.

Title: Consider choosing a title that provides a glimpse into the poem's theme or message. It can help draw readers in and set the tone for the piece.

In conclusion, your poem effectively captures the emotional struggles of a daily job, but it could benefit from some minor adjustments to rhyme and flow. Keep refining your work, and you'll continue to develop as a writer.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story immerses the reader in a tense and mysterious atmosphere as the protagonist navigates the dangers of the Nether. The vivid descriptions help create a sense of urgency and curiosity about the strange creatures and landscapes encountered. The use of inner thoughts adds depth to the character's perspective and emotions, making the narrative more engaging.

The pacing is well-maintained, and the story flows smoothly from one scene to the next. The unexpected encounter with the pigling-human hybrid adds an intriguing element to the plot. It leaves the reader with questions, drawing them deeper into the story.

Your writing style effectively blends inner thoughts and external actions, as you intended. It creates a seamless narrative that allows the reader to connect with the character's experiences.

Overall, your story is engaging and well-crafted. It successfully captures the reader's attention and leaves them eager to discover what happens next in this otherworldly adventure. Great job!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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149
Review of Gorilla Dollars  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Daily Flash Fiction entry


A gorilla stood inside the large cage. It looked at the little girl. The little girl looked back at the gorilla.

She asked the gorilla in a small little girl voice, “Can you run?”

The gorilla answered in a deep low gorilla-like voice only heard by little girls. “Only if you pay me enough gorilla money.”

“And how much gorilla money do you need?” The little girl looked inside her little girl purse. It was pink and sparkly and had a purple unicorn printed on it.

The gorilla sat down next to the cage and scratched his head as he thought of a good answer. “I think about three million gorilla dollars would be enough for me to run to the moon and back. And if you add a million more, I would bring back a purple unicorn for you to have as your very own pet.”

“All I have are five of these.” The little girl held up five shiny pennies.

The gorilla thought for a long gorilla moment and then said, “I think those are more than enough due to the current exchange rate of pennies to gorilla dollars.”

The little girl smiled and gave her pennies to the gorilla. Then she walked back to her mother with a purple unicorn.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece contemplates the vastness of the universe and the contrast it presents against the struggles and conflicts humanity faces on Earth. It effectively combines inner thoughts and external observations, creating a reflective and thought-provoking narrative.

Your use of metaphor, such as describing the stars as "sparkling pickles" and the universe as a "mother's womb," adds a unique and imaginative dimension to your writing. These metaphors help to convey complex ideas and emotions in a relatable way.

The recurring theme of concern and anxiety about humanity's place in the universe is well-developed throughout the text. It raises important questions about our ability to coexist peacefully on Earth and the potential consequences of our actions beyond our planet.

You touch on the dichotomy of supporting space exploration while acknowledging the harm humans have inflicted on their own environment. This adds depth to your perspective and invites readers to consider the moral and ethical implications of our endeavors in space.

Overall, your piece is a compelling exploration of existential questions and the human condition in the context of the universe. It combines introspection with a broader societal and environmental perspective, creating a balanced and engaging narrative.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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