the world is full of pigeons, even the least pigeonlike of us is a pigeon about at least a small part of ourselves. Self insight is not a common trait in the human species. It is the part of the writer to try to get us to see around the dark corner of ourselves to evict our personal pigeons.
What a sad way to put a failed relationship. The repetition of what's knit can always be unknit. It is always sad when relationships fall apart this makes it sadder because it is the deconstruction of something strong and beautiful that leaves the parts scarred.
wow great poem given the prompt. I love the way you talked about writing without using the word. The list of forbidden words were really killer. I sympathize on your diabetes. Are you type one or type two. Do you require insulin? sorry that is getting personal. I love this poem about a simple day in your life.
Everyone has regrets from their youth. Some regret academic mistakes. Some regret their choice of friends. Some had legal mistakes, though fortunately for many those legal mistakes are technically erased with adulthood. The point is everybody regrets something the key is not focusing on those regrets to the exclusion of who you have become because of them.
This starts out pretty creepy and then gets more romantic and spiritual. If only there were a way to get to the good part without that hint of creepy stalker. Maybe it is just something I am reading into it from my own experiences or it could be your word choices.
Is there more to this story? I hope so I really feel for the main character. I want to know his name and I want to know more about him. I really hope he finds his way through to a better life. Perhaps he could become a spy or something.Even better if he could find his way into his fantasy world.
I have met women like this. I know women like this. I like to think I see through women like this. Unfortunately, they are professional liars. They practice lying as a matter of personal pride. I worried at one time my sister was going to grow up to be one but she fell in with the right crowd and they wouldn't stand for it.
Interesting poetic form, I had not seen it before. I love this example of it and am interested in trying the form sometime. The subject is good and I love its flow and the way the flowing of a river is used to describe time it is a very intriguing poem and I hope the author finds the rowing partner they seek.
This has a few brilliant moments but gets kind of tangled up in what it is trying to say I could see a really interesting short story or poem coming from this but right now it is a bare word sketch of an idea you have rather fortunately not lost. I write this review to bring this piece back to your attention so you can see where you can take it from here.
This sounds like the description of a perfectly peaceful moment that is briefly shattered by the interpositioning of reality. I am pretty sure that isn't a word, not a real one but I like it and I am leaving it. I wish I had more of this kind of peaceful moment.
It sets up the characters fairly well and begins to establish the setting as well. No clue on the continuing conflict though. It is a good introduction.
Perfectly describes the Bipolar roller coaster. The highs you don't necessarily want to have stop, the lows you think you will never climb out of. The time in between where you are numb or angry or just plain confused. You must not have the joy of mixed episodes where you cry energetically or your mind races you right off of emotional cliffs.
Scary! Every woman has nightmares about situations like this. You did your best to keep yourself safe and God had his angels protecting you that night. Not every woman has that clear a proof of god's love and protection. Just remember you came out of it safe.
Sick and twisted, great Halloween read! I kind of saw it coming though. It seemed too convenient that the prettiest girl in the school would fall for a near nobody. ANd then there was the murder house. The dude was doomed the minute that he went into that house. he should have run the other way when nature fell silent.
I thought it was a serious scary story and the you turned the volume down on the scary by making it a campfire story even the last line doesn't reverse that active disappointment. It is like killing a character off and coming back to say it didn't matter because it was only a dream. What serious writer would do something like that
Oh I so felt every moment of this scene. Waiting for a call can just about drive you mad. Fortunately we have call waiting and can still receive calls when idiot computers want to waste our time playing back messages about how our car we don't own is about to have its factory warranty expire.
Interesting character description now I must find and listen to the song that apparently inspired this piece. great more things to Google. hey it isn't a really good poem if it doesn't make you think about it. This makes me curious especially the way you blended in those lyrics so seamlessly.
This is very self aware of you
Running away from your life tends to really be an attempt to run away from your self. The real escape comes not when you just stop running from things but when you finally sit down in a still place and embrace yourself, your choices, and your mistakes. Once you do that there is nothing left to run from.
I thought that this poem was going in a very different direction. I was sure that it was going to lament the way today's child is glued to screens instead of out playing like we did when we were growing up. Instead it points out that many of the author's job skills came from getting to play just one more game outside. Thi leaves me wondering if in this age of technology perhaps we would be better off letting children free with their technological inclinations. After all so many of today's jobs are far better served by a technological familiarity than the ability to mow a lawn. Who says what job skills they might be developing.
This is an exultation of the existence of a good day. All to often anymore, good days are few and far between. This poem acknowledges that truth and points at another. Painful days hurt all the worse for having had the good times. It is one of the real master truths of the universe. It is why grief stings so bad.
I thought th wister was five years younger, is there already a bunch of gossip and popularity in the 8 year old circles? This story isn't the best, but I have both read and written waaay worse. 5 stars for having the balls to post and own up to this piece.
That didn't end like I expected it was going to. I expected the kids would be stopped before they spread the truth because the live news wasn't live anymore. But I guess they succeeded. It is totally a deus ex machina situation. I would think the government would have put safeguards into place to keep this from happening.
Love it! Want to read more! Great idea. Thi is the second time I have read this and it has just gotten better than before given current events. The government seems like it is trying to undermine our rights. Especially in requiring people get vaccinations despite religious and personal beliefs.
This is a funny little poem. I can se the awkward little girl a little too well. I found the father's reaction to the drawing to be simultaneously funny and harsh. She put forth the effort to draw herself and all he remarks about is her eyes. It seems to be a little cruel.
This sounds like an ode to a father or grandfather. The kind that rarely exists outside of fiction anymore. I haven't seen this kind of man in quite some time. There is the possibility that this creature has suffered extinction. It is one of the sad truths of our times.
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