This was a sad story. It made me appreciate the things my mom does for me and gave me a new light into how she feels and the reasons she says some things she does.
Your words were filled with emotion that just filled the story and radiated from the screen and made me feel the way the mom and daughter both felt.
Thank you for showing me a new light into how my mom feels sometimes.
I'm hoping that at least mom would come home remembering that she had little Devon waiting for her. This story is one that happens more often then not. Parents just leave their kids alone for hours on end to fend for themselves. I like the note you put at the end about parents providing the nessecities of life. As you said more peole should remember that.
This was an interesting story. It was unique and well thought out. I didn't notice anything that needed to be changed or corrected. I think it was all well written and made for an entertaining read. I half expected the vamp to turn the cute brunette at the end.
I love it. I think you did a wonderful job with. There is one question, how. how do you worship, how do you sing, throughout the poem you say this is how, this is how, this is how, but you don't explain any of it. go alittle more into how you do things how you thank the Lord for all He's done. OTher than that I think you did a good job. :)
I love reading and writing haikus. Some people find haikus to be so difficult to write and too short to get out what you want to. I think you did a wonderful job with it.
I like the idea of a cloud playing peek-a-doo with you through the mountains. Do you have more haikus...Just makes me want to read more of you work.
I noticed that at times you use punctuation while other times you don't. Maybe you would want to go through and decide on whether or not you want to use it or not.
I like the flow and feel i got from this piece. I think you did a good job capturing the lure of someone's eyes.
Awe is there more to this? I was able to put myself into the forest with her and see the deer. I was half expecting another kid to come out from behind the tree, like a family living in the forest no one knows about, but I liked the deer. It was cute :)
It kinda reminds me of Jane Eyre, with the background, her parents die and no children for her to play with.
give back my homework maybe be better in quotes and when his brother claimed he didn't know where mine was, maybe it should be he didn't know where they were.
When I got to the end I had to laugh. I hope you got an A on it. It was good and entertaining. And, I like mash potatoes with my meatloaf too.
awe I liked this. It made me smile and giggle alittle. Does the plant get better? You did a good job and had a cute little message, talking to plants isn't as silly as some may think. I just keep reading over it and smiling. I know people whose plants just die and maybe should read this. ;)
"his friends had all got on with their lives" i think it would sound alittle better if it was "his friends had all gotten on with their lives." Other than that a few moments where a comma would have fit i think you did a good job her. Maybe you could give the boy a name. It was difficult to read and picture a character without a name.
So you wrote this for your myths class that's cool. I'm taking one this comming semester in college and I may have to write one. I wasn't too sure how this was a myth though. Isn't there suppose to be a certain aspect that makes a myth different from a regular story? I enjoyed reading it though. My heart fell when Alexie died he tried so hard to find Saura and now he couldn't be with her. sad.
I am 22 and saved and have been living my life to the bible, and what you say is true but at the same time everyone sins that is just human, there has and always will be only one man who has been perfectly free of sin. The fact that you are judging people by telling us that because we sin then we are not saved you sin. God is the only one who judges who is saved and who is not. The reason Jesus was sent to this earth was to give us salvation yes, and offer forgiveness for those sins. I'm not saying that because we have forgiveness then we can no, I'm saying that because we sin we aren't going to Hell.
No one in this world is perfect and totally free of sin. Do you talk to your friends about another friend? gossip = sin. do you get angry with your parents at times? there are things in this world that we don't know could be a sin...do you was geez or "Oh My God" taking the Lord's name in vain. No one can say they are free from sin because we aren't, you can only say you aren't a slave to it.
oh this brought tears to my eyes. I sure hope you win this was so moving and inspiring. I like the idea of a child asking only for his mommy. it was both heart-warming and tear-jerking. I couldn't stop reading on even if I wanted too. Your words just held such emotion and things I am having a hard time expaining.
I admit that I read this because of the thing that discribed it. I have to agree totally with you. In order to heal and get past whatever it was in your life that broke you, you need to get away from it, block any memory or reminder out of your life. Of course you need a support system of friends and family. I learned that though I am only 22 I already have a group of friends I couldn't live without. And like you said they have become my family.
I noticed up in the first few lines you have .."make my on way"..did you mean "...make my own way"?
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