*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/roscoej/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
804 Public Reviews Given
1,204 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
151
151
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Dave the Hummingbird." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I thought that you wrote a good sentence with which to open up your story. The story about Dave the hummingbird and his world was an enjoyable read for me. I thought that it was well written, and that you had used some great imagery in this write. I like nature, and especially birds. I try to get out whenever I can to photograph them so your title really caught my eye. I hope that Dave eventually finds what he is searching for.
One can read into this story too, and from another perspective, placing different connotations to it, give it a spin. I found it interesting that Dave longed to return to some of the flowers that he truly knew from his first experience with them, that they were not his “one flower.” They would be suitable enough for the time being, until his special one came along. Pretty smart humming bird, I think. I feel that you have done a fine job with this piece.


“Dave set out in search of that One Flower.” Further down you write this again,” So on this day he set out in search of the One Flower.” Since it had already been established that Dave was searching for his one flower, it sounded a little repetitive to me. Better to have stated this differently. Also I feel that you could elaborate more about the “One Flower,” this would be nice. What makes a flower that special flower for one hummingbird, but not for another? What are the attributes that Dave is personally searching to find in his own, one flower? Expounding more on some of these things would be a nice touch and would, in my opinion, add greatly to your story. All in all though, it’s still a fine story. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.





Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
152
152
Review of The First Blows  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The First Blows." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

First, let me say that I hope this isn’t a true story, and if it is, I trust that you are out of that relationship. The story brings out many different emotions and images. There is a feeling of anger towards Steve that is felt by the reader. A very good story!

What I did find however, is that there were typo’s throughout; both in punctuation, and spacing. The latter was most noticeable, and you should consider making corrections for that. I also feel that, although this is a good story, it can be made better by making it longer, and expounding more about the characters and the events happening. All in all a good job and a very good read. Well done!



Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
153
153
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Inspirational Source." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


Many of the things that you brought out in this piece are certainly something we all should pursue. “Cleanse and start the day clean, fresh and anew by connecting my body with water.” “Provide nourishment in order to sustain…” Without these things I wonder just how we would be able to carry on successfully in life. This is a well written piece giving the reader some food for thought. Well done!




Overall:

Interesting read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
154
154
Review of The Fish Tale  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,The Fish Tale." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Love it! It’s a great piece for being only fifty five words long. I am an avid bass fisherman. Since I live way down in south Florida, I fish in the glades a lot; so of course I thought that your subject matter was terrific. In a way there is a lot of truth to what you have written. Many times the fish is not hungry at all, but takes the bait because it is agitating him. Either way, I wait for the strike. Many years ago, when I was just a boy, while in a bait shop, I saw a sign on the wall. It had an image of a man fishing and below it read; “A jerk on one end of the line, waiting for a jerk on the other end.” I don’t know why I brought that up. I guess your story brought back that memory. Great job!


Structure:

No errors found.


Suggestions:


None.


Overall:

A delightful read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
155
155
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,Innocent Freedom, Wisest Misery. Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Good poem that’s well written. You made some great word choices. The poem has a nice even flow to it and does not seem forced. You have constant Syllable count of 8-6-8-6, and also a good rhyming pattern was used throughout the poem. Nicely done!



Suggestions:


None


Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
156
156
Review of From East to West  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Mirror" Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This poem has a nice flow and you used a good choice of words to express your feeling. Your rhyme is good throughout and the entire poem had a very nice feel to it. Well done!



Suggestions:


None that I can think of


Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
157
157
Review of As the River Goes  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"As the River Goes." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a real good poem and it was especially touching to me since I lost a good friend this week. True friendships will stand the test of time. Ours did for over 45 years. I have no favorite part of this short poem-it was all very good. This was emotional read for me. Great job!




Suggestions:

The only thing that I would consider taking another look at is the fifth line. It seemed a bit awkward to me.



Overall:

A great poem about friendship's


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
158
158
Review of Paper Cuts  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Paper Cuts." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is an interesting piece in that it contains many of the classic signs of clinical depression. From what I surmise, these signs must have been present for some time. It is sad not only because this person died, but also because others didn’t recognize any of the signs.

“I feel dead and I've been morbidly thinking of dying as a way to put an end to all of this.” If this person has been on certain anti-depressants then this could be a side effect of the drug. How Ironic that is since the medication is intended to alleviate the depression.

“I've been spending a great deal of time thinking about the various ways in which I can end my life.” This is another classic sign to watch for.

“I've felt so detached from life and so emotionally numb to everything I see and experience that it doesn't feel like I'm alive.” Many of us can relate to these types of feelings at one time or another. I have before and it reflects in some of my own writings. I like what you are presenting here, although it is lacking some more information. I realize from your sub title that this work isn’t finished yet, but I think your off to a good start. Nice work!




Suggestions:

Expound upon this some more and make it a longer piece.



Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
159
159
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very nice tribute to a wonderful person who has always brought positivity and encouragement to me. My favorite part of this poem is your 2nd verse. You bring out your emotions very nicely in this piece. Nice job!
160
160
Review of playgroup  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"playgroup." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Your poem is a short one but you did manage to express a lot in just those four lines. Being in love with someone, and being together with them, does make it it easier to tackle it all. And, when one or the other falls, there is the comfort in knowing that someone will always be there for you.



Suggestions:


However, how nice these sentiments are that you wrote in this poem, I feel that there is some ways in which you could improve this piece. To give the poem a better flow I would try removing the word [it] from your first line. In the next line capitalize [i] The next verse presents some problems also. I feel that it needs to be re-worded differently; it broke up the flow of the poem for me. I think that you are off to a good start with this, and because it is a short poem, ( I like short poems) it should not be too difficult to make these fixes.


Overall:

Needs a bit more work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
161
161
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"In the beginning." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


Content:

This is a very nice acrostic poem. It has a good flow throughout making it a nice smooth read. Your words describe well, I think, the nervous uncertainty, and the doubts that come with beginning something new. Very nicely done!


Structure:

Followed the Acrostic form nicely.


Suggestions:

None



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
162
162
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Not what you think." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


Content:

You have written a very nice poem. It has good rhythm and a nice flow throughout. Your rhyme is very good, and the poem is presented very nicely. I did notice some typo’s in this piece. In the last verse, the word thing, should be think, and you left the word what, out of line four in the 2nd verse. However, these are very easy fixes, and I’m sure just an oversight. Good job!




Suggestions:


As mentioned above


Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
163
163
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"An Invention Extension, Prevention." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

ItI really enjoyed your poem, and I loved the title which was poetic by itself, I thought. This is a perfect piece for Halloween, but not only limited to that time of year of course. The humor is really good. It had a nice even flow and I particularly like the rhyme scheme and the rhythm created throughout. Very nicely penned, good job!




Suggestions:


None. It is fine as is.


Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
164
164
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Just a little late." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You have some well written dialogue in this piece. I realize that this was done for a contest so I’m sure that you had limitations as to the length of the story. I would have liked to have seen more details, especially about the child. However, aside from this, you have done a good job with this piece.


Structure:

No errors noticed


Suggestions:

none



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
165
165
Review of The Perfume River  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Perfume River." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You poem is real imaginative and it contains vivid imagery throughout. You take the reader to that earthly paradise with its endless garden, and perfume river. I especially liked the way you ended this piece; “The last scent that strikes me is Pure air, as after it has rained.” Good job!



Suggestions:


Can't think of any.


Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
166
166
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Memories of a time that wasn't bad." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You have expressed your emotions quite well in this piece. The poem moves along nicely with a good flow. I especially liked the first verse. That was my favorite.



Suggestions:

None that I can think of



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
167
167
Review of Cycles  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Cycles." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This poem has a nice flow to it, and although short, you seemed to manage expressing your emotions very well. I think my favorite part is the first verse. Nice job!


Structure:


I wasn’t quite sure about the numbering of the verses, especially in a short poem such as this, but that is just my personal opinion. None the less, I don’t think that it takes anything away from the piece.




Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
168
168
Review of Save Me A Seat  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"save Me A Seat." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.



Content:

You wrote a wonderful tribute to your friend, Ginger. The poem is written well aside from a few changes of the rhythm in some of the lines. All in all though, it’s a good poem despite this. A lot of love and emotion for your friend come through in this piece and your word choices were good. Nicely done! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.



Overall:

A good read.
169
169
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Echoes in the Hall." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I will only make comments on the words and how they relate to me in this reading. I cannot make any judgments lyrically without hearing the music and how it relates to the song, although it seems like all the elements are present. It is just me, I usually only hear the music when composing; the words may or may not come later on. Most often it’s buy a collaborator.
This is an interesting, but tragic story of an event that actually happened. You describe it well and the reader can feel the emotion in this piece. One of my favorite parts is the 2nd verse. Well written. I only wish I could hear the music that these lyrics were written to. I also like the fact that you included the link to the news cast. Good job!



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
170
170
Review of The Raging Storm  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Raging Storm." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You have brought out very well, and with much emotion, the feelings of abuse. You used some fine words to do so, like the ones that I particularly like; “the sky opens To release its agony in torrents of coursing tears.” Abuse, like hate, builds up just like a raging storm and both must be addressed. Never stay in an abusive relationship. Get away for your own safety no matter how hard it may seem. Great job on this piece. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.



Suggestions:

None that I can think of.



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
171
171
Review of HOME  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about, "Home" Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


This is a good poem in which you make use of some great imagery. I think that my favorite part is when you describe the mountains and the glistening of ice cycles sparkling in the sun. The mountains are home to me, and my thoughts often take me back there so I can relate to this. I often reach, in my mind, to that special place in the mountains to find inspiration for my own writing. Although this isn’t always evident in my work for my readers to see; it is there none the less, privately, for me. Great job on this one.



Suggestions:


None that I can think of.


Overall:

a good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
172
172
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi and welcome to WDC

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You wrote a powerful piece about this monster, Alzheimer’s disease, which steals its victim’s mind, soul, and eventually their life. It is certainly a topic that hits very close to home for me; since my father died from the disease, as well as most of his siblings. It more than likely will someday come for me too. I have written a few poems about it myself, but enough of me. Your poem brings about a lot of emotions feltby you. You used some good imagery in this piece. Nicely done!




Suggestions:

What I would do; and remember that this is just my opinion, is to format this piece differently. As I see it, there are six possible verses for this piece. You have one verse in each line, totaling twenty four lines. Each line could be broken up into four smaller lines and then separate those into four line stanza’s. I think this would make for a nicer presentation.




Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
173
173
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi and welcome to WDC

Here are my thoughts about,"The end of the Search." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Your feelings for this person are evident it this poem. The ending turns out a happy one. You used some good rhyme and the poem seemed to flow along nicely.


Structure:

I saw a few things that I may have done differently with this piece. Your first two lines I would break up differently; ending the first line with [low] and starting the next line with the [I.] Maybe doing the same sort of thing with line five; breaking at [stayed.] Then do the same after; "at last you came." I would then add another line before starting the next verse;"I had searched for you for so many years.” This is just my opinion though, and you may disagree. All in all, this is a nice poem and I think you have done a fine job with it.


Suggestions:


as mentioned above.


Overall:

A good poem.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
174
174
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi and welcome to WDC.

Here are my thoughts about,"Best Coach Award." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

It is obvious from your poem that you admired your coach, and came to a realization that just winning a game isn’t truly what it is all about. As you said;” She taught us to love, and forget the mistakes.” I feel that you brought about your feelings well in this piece.


Suggestions:


None


Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
175
175
Review of Life of a cat  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Life of a cat." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Great piece! Your title first attracted me to this poem since I love cats. You used some good word choices and painted good imagery in this poem. It had a nice flow and good rhyme. It is so true too; cats have the life. Mine is spoiled and always gets her way. I am no disciplinarian and sort of let her run amok, while my wife on the other hand, will just speak and my cat will listen. Some will argue too that I have the life of a cat; since I am old, lazy, and fat. Good job on this poem. It was a delightful read. Thanks for sharing this with us, and keep writing.
370 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 15 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/roscoej/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7