The title and its brief description. I was curious to know what the relationship was between the wall by the tomatoes and a child's time with his grandpa.
First impressions:
This is a sweet story. I liked your style of writing and narration. It is wistful, as if you are wishing to re-experience those times again.
What I liked:
Apart from your writing style, I liked the descriptions of the characters - Trevor, Granny and Grampy. At first, I thought Trevor was the brother, until I read about his 'lopsided ears'!
Grampy is a good role model for the child with his wit, activeness and wisdom.
It is amusing to read about how a child views his environment and his loved ones. The following line about Granny is really cute, "Granny was always in the kitchen and she was always cooking. It never occurred to me that she was cooking for us; I assumed she spent all day, every day cooking, which was ridiculous for the two of them."
In a way, the old couple reminds me of my grandparents. My granny is always in the kitchen, cooking stuff, while my grandpa is always about, mending and fiddling with this and that. During old age, one has to keep one's mind and body active for good health
The description of the relationship between the grandfather and grandson has been brought out very well.
You have ended the story well; history repeating itself.
Favourite lines:
One of them I have already mentioned earlier. There are a few more -
It was as if learning in school was like someone firing a hosepipe at you and most of it bounced right off. Grampy was more like a little waves that lapped at your feet and before you knew it, it was up to your knees. I liked the comparison.
It’s amazing how these things stick in your mind. You're right, some seemingly ordinary situations/conversations from our past stick in our mind for a lifetime.
Tomatoes are hidden in the earth. The seeds ask the earth to grow tomatoes and up they come. At the end of the year they’ll go back again. Just like the rest of us, eventually.
Suggestions:
The story on the whole is perfect, except for a few punctuation mistakes. For example:
mostly by car but occasionally on the train if my Dad was working mostly by car, but occasionally on the train if my Dad was working
You may want to proofread again.
Final thoughts:
This is a really sweet little story. I liked it very much. Thanks for sharing it with us. Do keep writing and have a good time here
These are my honest thoughts on your story. Feel free to accept them or reject them as you wish.
Why I chose to read this story?
The brief description looked promising. Unwanted responsibility, love and change make a superb combination.
First impression:
I was instantly drawn to the story, maybe because it is about the royalty. I always enjoy love stories of princes and princesses. Also, the starting paragraph seems very visual.
What I liked:
You have written the first two paragraphs very well. I could visualise the whole scene as I read along. It seemed like as though a movie was unfolding in my mind!
The little twist that the Handsome Hector was not the prince kinda disappointed me (I too am a hopeless romantic like Vivian!), but I liked the twist
Your language, narration and vocabulary is good. The style of writing you have employed suits this story.
The description of the Prince is also good. (The Hunchback of Desmark)
Favourite Lines:
The carriage lurched uncomfortably and a pair of eyes disappeared from view
The air was heavy and wet. The wee rat scuttled across the rocky road surface. Little did it know that today was a special day. It stopped to sniff the air and then scurried aside dodging horse hooves and a rather large carriage. When the commotion had passed it scuttled back on the road as if it knew exactly who almost killed it.
Suggestions:
There are no suggestions regarding the plot of the story. However, there are a few punctuation mistakes:
When the commotion had passed it scuttled back on the road as if it knew exactly who almost killed it. When the commotion had passed, it scuttled back on the road as if it knew exactly who almost killed it.
The Princess hid her surprise well but her eyes widened and betrayed her The Princess hid her surprise well, but her eyes widened and betrayed her
There are some more sentences with a comma missing. Maybe you would like to proofread the story once.
Final thoughts:
You have written this story excellently. I liked it very much. I hope you are going to continue writing this story and sharing it with us here:)
This is a different kind of poem about seasons. You have written about the winter and summer seasons in a very appealing way with metaphors.
What I liked:
The metaphors on the two seasons. You have linked winter not only with snow, but also with long days, barren lands and lifelessness.
You have linked summer with the thawing of ice and rise of beauty.
Analysis:
Snow covers laden icy dreams
Drenched into loneliness
Needing life
Now
Winter is very harsh and it restricts movement, dreams and beauty, which leads to loneliness and lifelessness.
Beauty rises slowly from sleep
Weeping those cob webs
From weary
Eyes
In the summer, the sun melts the ice, and the landscape comes out of hibernation
Favourite lines:
Snow covers laden icy dreams
Drenched into loneliness
Beauty rises slowly from sleep
Suggestions:
These are my thoughts on the areas which need improvement. However it is up to you to accept or reject them.
This is a beautiful poem. You could have written about other seasons too, like spring and autumn (rainy also, if you have experienced that season) to make the poem more good.
Drenched in loneliness: drenched seems out of place. Maybe you can say frozen in loneliness instead.
Final thoughts:
I liked this little poem. You have written well. Do keep writing and welcome to WDC
This is a humourous story. The story ended with a twist. Who would have guessed that the wife would have absolutely loved the food, especially after it being compared to decayed fruit peels, charcoal briquettes and what not!
The fact that the wife is hardly pleased when it comes to food, we are led to believe that she would find the food in question absolutely terrible, just as the husband did. Instead, she simply loves it!
I can imagine the husband shaking his head in disbelief and exasperation!
This is a very humourous poem and I certainly enjoyed reading this. I always enjoy rhyming couplets as they are easier to write and understand
I found this poem to be satirical of an aspiring politician. Someone who has a way with words and people get into this field, with not much idea about the consequences. A single little mistake can mar their political status.
You have written well with the flow and rhyming seeming natural.
There are a few lines I liked most:
Edwards traveled and campaigned proud,
Spoke touching words which pleased the crowd,
Gathered them in droves and bunches,
While raising funds at countless lunches.
The right words can gain the trust and admiration of people.
You've done a good job. Thanks for sharing this poem!
These are my honest opinions. Its up to you to take it or not.
First impressions:
This is a very beautiful poem about tears. We usually do not take the time to observe and think about tears as it is such a natural part of us. The style of your writing is flowing and delicate, just like how a tear is
What I liked:
After reading this poem, I have realised the genuineness and and importance of the insignificant tear.
You have listed the various duties fulfilled by the tear, my most favourite being - it provides a return to balance. So many times, when we are in pain, if we let ourselves to have a good cry, we feel much better, as though the sadness has trickled out with the tears.
I liked the first paragraph immensely. I could visualise the birth of the tear from the eye, its journey down the slope of the cheek and finally its death into the fabric. The journey of the tear is compared to that of a skier skiing downwards from a height, which is an excellent comparison.
Many times, tears are not encouraged, especially in men. But here you have portrayed the importance of tears; that tears have a very vital duty to perform, that is to wash away strong emotions, whether negative or positive.
Lines I liked most:
This is the difficult part as every line is a gem. However, here are a few I liked most above the rest:
It grew in size and tension,
like a skier atop an alpine run
disappear
into the fabric of her life,
its duty done.
n army of tears follows,
each doing its part to wash away
the emotion filling her heart.
all provide a return to balance
Suggestions:
I do not have many suggestions as this poem is perfect. However, maybe you can alter the title a little bit to convey better about the poem. But to do so is entirely your wish. I felt 'A Tear' is not enough to describe the beauty of the poem.
Final thoughts:
This is a lovely poem reminding us of what an insignificant tear can give us. There aare many things we take for granted and our tears are one example of this.
Thanks a lot for sharing this poem and keep writing!
This is similar to what I had felt when I finished my school. I had not liked much going to school and I had imagined that I would be happy once I finish writing the last examination of the last day at school. However, when I finally reached that day, I was happy, but a little part of me was sad that something familiar was about to change.
You have expressed it well in this little story. especially the last paragraph is exactly how I had felt.
This is a sweet narrative poem illustrating the power of humility over force, where humility is represented by the Sun and the force, by the Wind. This poem brings to mind a moral story I had read in my childhood along the same lines, where instead of the clothes, the challenge between the two elements of nature was to move the cloak off a traveler's back.
You have brought out the personification of the sun very well. Usually the sun is depicted as a ball of fire - representing energy, strength and sometimes anger also. But here, you have painted a warm (literally) picture about the sun! Also, the word - smile, suits the sun.
This is a lovely poem! Do keep writing and thanks for sharing this with us!
This is a nice poem. I liked the rhyming. You have successfully told a story in rhyming couplets, without making the rhyme look forced.
I liked few lines:
who made his smile
the width of a mile.
He stood and waited
for his dear belated.
As the light grew dimmer,
with one final shimmer,
the horse/goat/deer
did disappear.
I have one little suggestion to make.
Instead of 'Little Johnny Hayden', you can make it, 'Young Johnny Hayden'. 'Little Johnny Hayden' hints of a little boy. However, it is up to you to accept or ignore this suggestion
You have written well and I enjoy reading couplets. You have done aa great job *thumbsp*
These are my honest views on your work. Feel free to accept the ones you like and ignore those you don't
What attracted me to read this piece?
The title and brief description. The title seemed enigmatic and the description, inviting!
My first impressions:
You have maintained the whole story in the present tense. I find it difficult to write in present tense, so you have done a good job handling the tenses properly throughout the story.
What I liked in the story:
The theme. It is different. I've not read a story from the POV of a person learning to fly. The kind of emotions one experiences when he 'takes control' of the plane for the first time, has been explained well.
The mixed emotions of excitement, anticipation, fear are shown right from the time the protagonist steps into the airport.
There are also a few similes which I liked, which I will include later on in this review.
You narration style has a smooth flow to it too. Once I started reading, I could easily get into its flow.
I liked the ending of the story as well. The protagonist makes a decision whether to continue flying or not. My favourite lines:
I know that at any moment airport security accompanied by fighter jets will arrive and we will be detained under the suspicion of belonging to an international terrorist group.
This shows the irrational fear one has when one is entering a new territory.
It's like driving a go-cart down the expressway.
A Cessna could almost fit inside the nose of one of these monsters. This comparison of the plane the protagonist is driving to the other fighter planes is humourous.
That sounded good, but I think I'll stick to driving a car.
Suggestions:
I have not many suggestions to make. The grammar and ideas are fine.
However, one little suggestion is there for the following line:
I think to myself, "this may not have been a good idea." Too late to change my mind.
Can be written as: I think to myself, "This may not have been a good idea." But, it's too late to change my mind.
The sentence seemed incomplete.
Final Thoughts:
This is a great piece about a person's first experience of flying. I did enjoy reading it.
Keep writing and enjoy!
These are my honest thoughts on your poem. Its up to you to accept the ones you like and ignore the ones you don't
What attracted me to this piece?
The title. This is a very common feeling which parents or caregivers feel. I was curious to know more
First impressions:
This is a sweet and simple poem, depicting a mother's emotions and thoughts about her daughter growing up. This is an emotional poem. I have not experienced this situation till now, but I can understand how one might feel when one's children are all grown up and moved out.
What I liked:
The mother remembers the childhood times of her daughter; when she used to play with dolls, have tea parties with them and watch princess movies and so on, and wonders where it is gone. In the end of the poem, though the mother does understand that her baby will eventually have to move out, her emotional bond with her child still asks the lingering question,
'What happened to my baby?
Where's my little girl?
You have contrasted the childhood memories with the routines the daughter follows in the present. The daughter's center of fun has shifted from the home to the outside world. I liked this particular way of expressing the mother's thoughts.
Lines I liked most:
The lines carrying the contrasts:
She hangs out with friends insteed of playing with dolls.
Tea parties are replaced with lunch out with friends.
Princess movies replaced with horror.
Suggestions:
I have a teeny weenie suggestion. However, it is your wish to take it or leave it.
In the following verses, you have repeated the verses: She hangs out with friends instead of playing with dolls.
Tea parties are replaced with lunch out with friends.
Maybe, you can delete 'thefriends' from the second line and end it with 'lunch outs'.
Final thoughts:
You have written a very nice poem. I liked it very much as it brings out the conflicting emotions in the parent when the fledgling is leaving the nest. The parent does understand the situation, but struggles to come in terms with it.
These are my honest views. It is upto you to accept or reject them.
What attracted me to this story?
The title. It seems very Indian and spiritual.
First impressions:
I liked the beginning of the story, with all the introductions. The characters and hierarchy of sages reminds me of hierarchy of Angels, like there are Archangels at the highest order, then come the subordinate Angels.
What I liked in the story:
This theme is an 'old wine in a new bottle'. Though the idea of supernatural beings controlling the various elements is a common concept, you have handled it creatively. This novelty was why I got really hooked on to it as I started reading.
Suggestions:
These are only my views on where you have made mistakes. However, it is up to you to accept my suggestions or reject them:
This piece is the Prologue to a novel/novella. What I feel is, a description about the sages is not required in the prologue. You can give it in the first chapter of the story. A prologue needs to have more of action, mystery and dialogues.
There are mistakes in the punctuation and spellings. If you proofread the story, you may be able to find them. For example:
You have not used the Upper case for the first letter of the word, 'Shade' at many places.
Now shade was to be the weakest of all the sages. Or at least that's what the other sages thought, Now, Shade was to be the weakest of all the sages, or at least that's what the other sages thought,
As the hundredth year crept closer and closer the sages were growing weaker and weaker As the hundredth year crept closer and closer, the sages were growing weaker and weaker
"Golieth i don't think i shall be able to go on must longer" Bloom cried. "Golieth, I don't think I shall be able to go on must longer," Bloom cried.
"We must do something quickly or else the world will be forever in darkness" called Ashley as she "We must do something quickly or else the world will be forever in darkness," called Ashley, as she
By the time shade was finally cristalized so were half of the other sages By the time Shade was finally crystallized, so were half of the other sages.
There are few more. You might like to check it out.
Overall Thoughts:
I liked your story. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. I liked your creativity very much. With a lit more polishing, this story can become very good.
Whatever you have written here correspond exactly with my views on true love!
True love does come when you least expect it. If one goes in search of love with a checklist of the qualities one wants for an ideal lover, it is sure to end in a failure as an ideal person Does Not exist. To err is human. If a person is flawless, then he is a Spiritual Being.
True love does give us an inexplicable amount of confidence and strength, and as you correctly said, true love can only be understood if one experiences it.
You have also taken an example of a young girl who dreams of meeting her Prince Charming one day. I liked the way you have explained the difference between the concept of true love and the fantasy of inexperienced people, through this example. It gives a better understanding. Also you have talked about 'False Love'. I liked your explanation of this too.
You write well and have a rational outlook of life. Keep writing!
My first thoughts:
I liked this story. On reading the starting lines, I was reminded of the times when I used to argue with my mother like that when I was a teenager.
This is a simple story portraying the rebellion a teenager feels, which is very normal.
Analysis:
From the following lines, “I don’t care, Margaret! I’m not going to argue this with you anymore or you will get punished!”, I feel the girl Margaret is in her early teens or pre-teens, because usually the threat of punishment does not work out with older teens.
Also, Your brothers and sisters have to do it, and so do you,", this is a typical dialogue of mothers The mother seems to be a lady who is strict and firm with her children.
The ending was a funny twist. I had not expected something simple like doing the dishes.
Suggestions:
There are a few punctuation mistakes here and there especially in the following dialogues:
“Your brothers and sisters have to do it, and so do you.” Her mother said annoyed at Margaret.
“Your brothers and sisters have to do it, and so do you," her mother said, annoyed at Margaret.
“I guess I’ll finally wash the dishes she mumbled.” “I guess I’ll finally wash the dishes," she mumbled.
“But mom! It makes me sick! I hate doing this.” “But mom, it makes me sick! I hate doing this.”
Overall thoughts:
You have brought out the theme very well in a few words. Its a good thing that you have employed dialogues and less of description to show the characters of the two protagonists.
Good job, keep it up!!
This is a different theme for a poem, kinda creative. You've done a good job of it. I too like to play this computer game. But I had never thought of life from the perspective of my sim!
Its interesting to read how a Sim may feel if it had the superior ability to think like us!
However, the poem sounds distant...Maybe because a robotic Sim is talking...
Anyway, You've done a good job, keep it up and keep writing!
The title and its description. I love to read the Children's genre.
Also I like the name Sparky. It was the name I kept for a kitten who was my pet for a few days
First impression:
This is a cute story, where a young shark goes in search of his identity. The theme is what I liked the most. The flow of the story is smooth.
Theme Analysis
We can draw a parallel of this theme to our life. Once a child becomes a teenager, the quest for his/her identity begins. They go for every source of experience they come across, in a hope of finding themselves in each, just like how Sparky does; experiencing a Dolphin, Whale and Sting Ray way of life.
But a person must be aware, like Sparky, whether a particular experience suits him or not.
What I liked in this story?
The theme, of course. It carries a lesson at the end; a lesson that we have to be as we are, not copy others. We should develop our individuality and be proud of it, even if it is a mixture of all what we have learnt from past experiences.
Also, it gives us some information about Shark life!
Suggestions:
These suggestions are up to you to accept or reject.
I felt few of the sentences are too long. Children may find it difficult to understand.
For example: He was as clumsy as a giraffe on rollerskates at first, but after only a short while, he was slicing through the water like a sword through warm butter.
You can split this into two sentences. You may find few more sentences like this.
Try to give more gap between dialogues. It is easier to read that way
Final Thoughts:
You have a very good story here. The moral has been brought out well. Keep it up and keep writing!
The fact that this story is about OCD. Being a Psychology student, I'm interested in reading stories on psychological disorders.
First Impressions:
You have described an OCD person's mind in detail and perfectly. Even her reasoning of why she needs to do what she does is also explained.
What I liked...
I loved your whole story. The complete routine is explained. The woman wants everything to be spic and span and in their right places. If something is slightly out of place, she loses her cool and cannot rest until it is straightened. She has to lock her home thrice. All these are typical symptoms of an OCD person.
However, what I liked best is that you have dived deep into her mind and brought out her frustrations and fears. Just writing a story about the symptoms are not enough. The working of such a person's mind adds life and colour to the story.
The incident where she yells at the refrigerator expresses her insecurity.
Also, you have written it in First Person, which is ideal. Had you written in Third Person, you could not have written much in depth.
Finally, I liked the ending the best. She knows she's being nervous for small things, but she can't help it. She tries to calm herself down by following her therapist's advice, but it wont work against her conditioned mind. The slightly displaced TV remote causes her endless worry, shock and fear of her security. So much is her anxiety, that she passes out. She feels that fainting is a good escape from her existence.
Favourite lines:
gaze at the milk and OJ containers sitting beside each other in perfect harmony.
I begin taking breaths so deep that I eventually pass out. A necessary, albeit brief reprieve from the madness of my existence.
I walk the thirteen steps over to my couch
It brings me serenity and joy when things just fit where they belong.
Suggestions:
I have no suggestions to give. This work is perfect
Overall Thoughts:
You have done an excellent job here. This is give people a better understanding about people with OCD. Thanks for sharing this work with us.
This story is somewhat different. All the while, I felt as if I was following the girl, along with the narrator. Where on earth was she sneaking off to?
Finally, she settles down to eat a huge bucket of icecream. That was a neat twist. Kind of an anti-climax, but still attractive. I liked the ending.
However, I wish to suggest a few things...
Maybe you could have split this story into two paragraphs. It would be more eye catching for those who go through this piece. But, this is up to you.
There is a spelling mistake: The last word is spelt as 'devour'
The following line has a mistake too: 'I rode pass' which should be 'I rode past'
You may want to proofread this again.
Besides that, this is a very good piece. My favorite phrase is 'trying to blend into the anonymity of Ravenswood.'
This is a nice poem, describing peer pressure to do drugs. Teenage is a very impressionable age and it can be very damaging if they are not guided properly.
You have rhymed the poem well, and effectively expressed your thoughts and feelings well.
This is a sweet poem of love. The love shared by the people in the poem seems unconditional. Love does uplift us and make us better persons. This poem is as if it describing my personal experience. I too have felt the same way
My favourite line is:
when you looked into my eyes again,
love would have taken fear's place.
You have written it well. I appreciate the gratitude you have expressed at the end, Thanks for sharing this piece with us.
These are my honest thoughts on your poem. Please feel free to accept those you like and reject those you don't.
What attracted me to read this:
The title. Its somewhat different and interesting.
First impressions:
This poem brings out the different feelings of a girl who has had a troubled past. Her feelings of insecurity, worthlessness resulting from her horrific memories have been described very well with the help of similes and metaphors.
What I liked most:
Your vocabulary and the smooth flow of the poem. Once I began reading it, I couldn't stop till I reached the end. Normally, this doesn't happen when I read poems.
The similes and metaphors make the read beautiful. They cushion the depressive impact of the poem.
I liked the ending too. Finally the girl finds someone to care for her and make her feel worthy of herself.
Lines I liked the most:
The choice is difficult, but still here I go...
The face in the mirror never stops mockin’, The girl mocks herself. She can't help making herself to feel sorry and hate herself. Also, she can't stop herself from looking in the mirror for search of some little indication of consolation.
Surrounded in an ocean of faces,
She’s just one of a million stares.
Alone in a sea of friends
She feels blended in and like a nobody in the vast world of people. She thinks she's unnoticeable and lonely among groups of friends.
She looks up to see a face that mirrors her own, I liked how you described this meeting, as if they are soul mates.
Suggestions:
I have just one, it is upto you to use it.
In the following line: Alone in a sea of friends - Maybe you can add the word 'lonely' too as I feel alone doesn't effectively explain how she feels as she looks around to see people with their friends.
Overall thoughts:
You have written a beautiful poem. The friendship she finds in the end is very touching. I found this poem to be engrossing and moving. Thanks for sharing this with us.
These are my opinions on your poem. Please feel free to accept the ones you like and the ignore those you don't
First impressions:
This poem carries a lot of emotion. 9/11 was a horrific and harrowing day for the whole world, not only just America.
What I liked:
The poem has a smooth and natural flow, with good rhyming. You have expressed your sorrow very well in this poem.
Lines I liked most:
I remember that day
When so many went to Heaven
How long must conflict last? This line shows the futility of conflict. You're right, how much benefit do we get from conflict? Just more andmore lives are lost.
Suggestions:
I've got no suggestions to make. According to me, this poem is perfect
Overall thoughts:
You've done a good job! Keep it up and keep writing
These are my honest thoughts on your story. It is up to you which ones to accept and which ones to reject.
First impressions:
A visually descriptive story filled with similes. Its a very simple story with nothing much happening, but the way you have written it makes it attractive.
This story seems to be from an observer's point of view; someone who's sitting at a distance and watching the whole scene unfolding in front of his eyes, because there is no portrayal of the lovers' feelings for each other.
What I liked best:
Unusual comparisons and beautiful descriptions of the surroundings are a treat to read.
Favourite lines:
Snowflakes drifted towards the ground in an elegant dance with the wind.
Her feet squishing against the pillow-like snow
wind that turned from a soft kiss to a hard bite.
Suggestions:
*stargray* There is an omission, which, I'm sure you can find if you proofread. It is:
her feet squishing against the pillow-like snow the coated the earth her feet squishing against the pillow-like snow that the coated the earth.
There seems to be a slight confusion with the tenses in the starting of the story. You have started with present tense and went on with past tense. (That is a common mistake I too commit)
You could have created a few paragraphs at some place where the narration takes a slightly different track. For example, when the focus is shifted from the scenery to the woman.
Overall thoughts:
I enjoyed reading this story very much. It is a sweet little story. The love shared by the couple has been brought out subtly. It is not easy to write something simple in a way that makes the story appealing.
You've done a great job! Keep it up and keep writing!
This is a nice poem. Everyone gets these doubts and apprehension when they are venturing into their first romantic relationship.
You have also brought out the conflict in the mind of the person through the following lines, 'What if we are meant to be?
What if this just a test?'
My favourite lines are:
Written in the language of love?
What if our love is deep and gentle like the sea?
Few suggestions are:
You have written well. If you just concentrate on making the length or syllables of the lines equal, this poem can be better.
Instead of the word 'Lays' you can use 'Lies'
Overall, you have done a good job. Keep it up and keep writing!
Soh
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Apart from your writing style, I liked the descriptions of the characters - Trevor, Granny and Grampy. At first, I thought Trevor was the brother, until I read about his 'lopsided ears'! 
It was as if learning in school was like someone firing a hosepipe at you and most of it bounced right off. Grampy was more like a little waves that lapped at your feet and before you knew it, it was up to your knees. I liked the comparison.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
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The theme. It is different. I've not read a story from the POV of a person learning to fly. The kind of emotions one experiences when he 'takes control' of the plane for the first time, has been explained well.
This piece is the Prologue to a novel/novella. What I feel is, a description about the sages is not required in the prologue. You can give it in the first chapter of the story. A prologue needs to have more of action, mystery and dialogues.
What attracted me to read this?
I felt few of the sentences are too long. Children may find it difficult to understand. 
Try to give more gap between dialogues. It is easier to read that way 
I loved your whole story. The complete routine is explained. The woman wants everything to be spic and span and in their right places. If something is slightly out of place, she loses her cool and cannot rest until it is straightened. She has to lock her home thrice. All these are typical symptoms of an OCD person.
gaze at the milk and OJ containers sitting beside each other in perfect harmony.
Your vocabulary and the smooth flow of the poem. Once I began reading it, I couldn't stop till I reached the end. Normally, this doesn't happen when I read poems. 
This poem is very beautiful. It refreshed my mind as I read it. 
Snowflakes drifted towards the ground in an elegant dance with the wind.
Her feet squishing against the pillow-like snow 
wind that turned from a soft kiss to a hard bite. 
There seems to be a slight confusion with the tenses in the starting of the story. You have started with present tense and went on with past tense. (That is a common mistake I too commit)
You could have created a few paragraphs at some place where the narration takes a slightly different track. For example, when the focus is shifted from the scenery to the woman.