This is a wonderful story. The tone is slightly sinister. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what bloody battles Morocco has to tell about. They will read to the last word to find out. In this story, a young woman sees her family killed and vows revenge. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on Aicha, and she comes across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:
1)husband and children slaughter,-Should read "husband and children slaughtered."
The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
The title of this really told me nothing about what was actually in the chapter. I was completely engrossed just wondering what was to come next. I just had to read this chapter.
This is a wonderful chapter. The chapter opens with a bit of a mystery. The Manor starts emptying of people. Why is this happening here? The reader can't wait to find out. This is a fantastic opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the story. They are completely enthralled with the family's personal challenges. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:
1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.
2)You have neglected to put each piece of dialogue in its own paragraph. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.
The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.
I didn't know what to make of this chapter from the title. It tells very little about what the chapter actually contains. Now, I know that those that read the first part of the book would probably realize what might be going on. I was fascinated and just had to begin to read.
This is a fantastic chapter. The chapter opens with personal drama as Kal worries about Bel having nightmares. The reader believes that Bel must have some sort of personal problem, and is anxious to find out if Kal will be able to help. They will read on. This is a wonderful opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the chapter. They get completely involved as the discussion gets more and more personal. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The chapter is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the chapter. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.
This is a fantastic first chapter. The chapter opens with vivid description. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the chapter. Tey will read on. The detail puts the reader all the way into the story. You have set up your plot and main characters very well for your reader. There is only one line of dialogue, and it is well done and realistic. The speaker's mother speaks likes a real person. The chapter is well pace. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet is moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going in the chapter. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of determination and nervousness. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the old mansion will have anything dangerous inside, or anyone. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a man who decides to explore a creepy, old house. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is formal. It suits the poem very well. The poem is about a sailor and an own that form a strong bond. I love poems which tell stories. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The free verse works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm in this poem. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is full of longing. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about someone who wishes they could write better poetry. I have wanted this for awhile. I am not very good at poetry. Prose is my strength. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The Fibonacci poetic form works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm here. The meter is consistent from line to line. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have not used punctuation in this poem, but it is not needed here. You have used grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a fantastic piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. The reader will be learning something about the site, but exactly what is unclear. They will begin to read immediately to find out more. You introduce the topic by voicing a question that most members have asked themselves at one point or another, including me: How can they gain exposure. This tells the reader exactly what they will be learning about and puts them at ease as they know they are not alone. They will read to the last word. You have written about how to gain exposure for yourself and your work on Writing.com. This a wonderful piece for any new person on the site and other older members who might still be struggling. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. You use a formal, but friendly style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
I love creepy stories. The title says that this will be unnerving and full of ghosts. I love stories like this. I want to start writing things like this. I was completely drawn to this story and had to start reading.
This is a fantastic story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering what Sarah will find in the old house. If ghosts are involved there could be anything going on. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a woman who decides to investigate a house thought to be haunted and find out its secrets. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on Sarah, and she comes across as a real person. There is no dialogue, but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
The title of this story talks about a curse becoming a blessing. I have always believed that there can be blessings in disguise and that there is usually some good in most things that happen to you. The title really made me want to read this story.
This is a wonderful story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering if Prince Vatsa and Rishibala will end up getting married. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a Prince who has a curse put on him which, actually, makes him a better person. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:
1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.
The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
This is a fantastic story. The tone is filled with anticipation and confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering when Garcia will arrive for his meeting with the speaker. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a man goes to a hotel to meet his friend and encounters two surprises. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is full of serenity. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about someone taking a relaxing walk through the woods and taking pictures of the woods and the animals that live in it. I would love to take my cell phone and do just this on a clear day. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The free verse works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm here. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a wonderful essay. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the essay is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read right away to find out more. You launch into the essay without introduction or preamble. This grabs all the reader's attention and focuses it completely focuses it on the topic and the essay. They will read to the final word. You have written about the visits to the United Kingdome of Abdu'l Baha in 1911 and 1912. You have done your research here. You are conversant with your topic and easily make it comprehensible for your reader. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making essay tedious. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:
1) `Abdu’l-Bahá begin-"begin" should be "began".
2) He travel-Should read "He travelled."
You use a formal, organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of excitement and terror. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if there is something in the house that might hurt Callie and Cole. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a couple who, while on a road trip, come across a house that could be their dream house, it might be too creepy, though. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is slightly sinister and dark. This grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about a manor house that might be haunted. I love pieces about haunted places. I wanted to know if this manor house was, in fact, haunted. I read to the last word to see if this was true. The free verse works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm here. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This one was so short. These short pieces always get to the point right away, and there is, usually, a direct point that the writer wants to make. It just fascinates me. That's what brought me to this piece. I just has to know what was going on.
This is a fantastic story. The tone is apathetic and filled with exhaustion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the speaker will find something to stimulate them. I read to the last word to find out. The story is about someone who feels like doing nothing but sleep the day away. I am wondering if they are overtired. The conflict is well defined. There is not doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. They come across as a real person. There is no dialogue, but it is not needed here. The description is well done and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.
I love one word title on pieces of any sort. It gets the reader thinking and wanting to know more about what is going on in the piece. In stories they can add an air of suspense. That's what brought me to this article. When I read on that was it. I kept on reading.
This is a fantastic article. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the article is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read to find out more. You launch into the article without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the article. You have written about the amazing, and way too short, career of Selena Quintanilla. I watched a documentary about her life about a year ago now. I had never heard her music before, and the snippits I got from the show were bouncy and wonderful. You have done your research here. You are conversant with your topic and easily make it comprehensible for your reader. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the article tedious. You use a formal, organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
This is a fantastic piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read immediately to find out more. You introduce the piece by briefly discussing parties you have attended. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about when you could not dance will but accepted a dance with a girl at your friend's Bar Mitsvah. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. You use a humorous, light hearted style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is filled with empathy and sadness. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about someone watching a person they love suffering from chronic pain that the doctors can find no reason or cure for. I am so sorry for both people in this poem. I wish I could reach out and help in some way. i loved this poem and read to the last word. The free verse works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm here. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a fantastic goals chart. You have clearly marked your progress as you went. You have succeeded in all your goals so far except doing something creative. You could probably writer more if this is your something creative. It might be helpful to block out a certain time of day to write. That would keep your into a schedule. It should be a quiet time of day to help your concentrate. Not getting this done just means you have to look into your schedule and see what can be moved around. Good luck. Being organized is usually half the battle. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is aggressive but tinged with confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about someone who things they hear drums in the night only to wake up to find their neighbors and family have been massacred. I love poems which tell stories. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The poem has a unique rhyme that is well done and consistent. It gives the poem a wonderful rhythm. The meter is consistent from line to line. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is formal. It suits the poem and subject matter very well. The poem is about some of the best things about Spring. I love Spring almost as much as I love Summer. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The Brevee poetic form works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well here. The rhyme is well done and consistent. It gives the poem a wonderful rhythm. The meter is consistent from line to line. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is formal. It suits the poem and subject matter very well. The poem is a tribute to all the sacrifices soldiers make for us everyday. I have a few people in my life who have served their country, and I am very proud of all of them. I loved this poem and read to the last word. The free verse works well in this poem, and you have handled it very well. There is a wonderful rhythm here. the poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
The title does suggest that this will be a unpleasant poem, and I wanted to see where the unpleasantness was coming from. Writers tend to write about what is going on in their lives, so I was anxious to find out what was going on here. I love being intrigued right away. So much of us goes into our writing. It is a pleasure to see into people with their writing.
This is a fantastic poem. The tone is bitter and filled with anger. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The poem is about someone who is angry and saddened when they are betrayed by someone they love. I am going through something like this in my life now. I read to the last word to see if the speaker found peace. I loved this poem. The free verse works well in this poem. It usually does in highly emotional poem. There is a wonderful rhythm here. The poem flows extremely well. It is a pleasure to read. You have used punctuation and grammar consistently in this poem. There is nothing to distract the reader from their reading pleasure. Great job.
The title of this caught my attention. It states a little about your work ethic and writing philosophy. It mirrors my own. I wanted to find out more about this, so was anxious to start reading this piece.
This is a fantastic piece. The title is direct, yet enigmatic and attention grabbing at the same time. It tells the reader a little about your outlook but has them wanting to know more. They will begin to read to know more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about your attitude towards the work you do and how you like to do it. The reader is delighted with look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. You use an organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
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