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1,036 Public Reviews Given
1,232 Total Reviews Given
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226
226
Review of Love Potion  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "Love Potion" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
She hadn't really thought about what she would do if the potion did work. Until now, she had just wanted Jeffrey because she couldn't have him.

This says a lot about Tanya.

Overall Impression:
Tanya was well-rounded and believable.

Suggestions for improvement:
The ending seemed a bit rushed.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
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227
227
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part VI" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
{i]Pulses of green light coursed through its body as it slithered toward Melissa, whispering and hissing, "Hhhhurt!"

I'm a sucker for good description and this is it *Smile*

Overall Impression:
Full of suspense. The way details and description are woven in makes this all the more realistic.

Suggestions for improvement:
Not nice to leave me hanging! I hope you'll let me know when you get the next part written.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
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228
228
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part V" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw.

Favorite Line:
Rebecca screamed,"Go now!" and her body flickered and disappeared like a candle flame snuffed out by the wind.

This is a good description.

Overall Impression:
I love that Melissa has sight too. I hope that you explain how she got it.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
229
229
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part IV" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
When I was in high school, I found Grandma Becky's grave and felt an instant bond with her

I like the way she calls her grandmother Grandma Becky. It enforces their bond.

Overall Impression:
You're building Amanda's character well. I like that she figured out that her father had the sight. I also like how you've explained where it came from.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
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230
230
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part lll" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
{i]It was a small white house that hadn't seen a fresh coat of paint in about twenty years. The lawn was dry, and weeds poked their heads through cracks in the sidewalk.

I love this description!

Overall Impression:
I like where you left off. I can't wait to read more.

Suggestions for improvement:
Have you considered linking the next part in the series? It would make it easier to go on.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
231
231
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part II" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
The diary had snapped back open and the pages turned, as if flipped by an unseen hand.

I love this description!

Overall Impression:
I don't usually read longer pieces, but this one has me hooked. Melissa is well-rounded and believable, and so is Rebecca.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
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232
232
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Marleigh Rose ,
I am reviewing the item "Walking away: Her Story" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
{i]Absentmindedly I twisted the rings circling my left ring finger.

I can see this.

Overall Impressions:
I like the way you have the two stories linked: both physically with a bitem and with the similarities in the way they're written. Again, you've captured and made the reader feel a lot of emotion.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*

Ashley Daeschlein
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233
233
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Marleigh Rose ,
I am reviewing the item "Walk Away ... His Story" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
{i]back and swung my weapon over my shoulder. This was it.

This shows his emotion well.

Overall Impressions:
You've captured a lot of emotion and made the reader fell it vividly in a few words. Nice job!

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*

Ashley Daeschlein
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234
234
Review of Sacrifice  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ~A.J. Lyle~ ,
I am reviewing the item "Sacrifice" 

Welcome to WDC!

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on the Review Page.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Nathan watched in fascination as a dainty woman appeared above the water, her delicate wings fluttering quickly to enable her to hover directly in front of his snout.

Good description!

Overall Impression:
Detail is woven in skillfully.

Suggestions for improvement:
The ending seemed a little rushed. I know your working with a word count, so this might be something to look at later.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
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235
235
Review of El Monstruo  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Milhaud - Long Tail ,
I am reviewing the item "El Monstruo" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
They need someone small to make them feel big. The world measures a real man by the size of his heart.

Overall Impression:
The character of Panchito was well-rounded and believable. Descriptions are woven in skillfully.

Suggestions for improvement:
I know this was written for a contest with a word limit, but now that the contest is over, I'd love to see this expanded.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
236
236
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Arakun the Twisted Raccoon ,
I am reviewing the item "The Witch's Diary Part I" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
I love this description--
A wild mane of auburn curls tumbled around her heart shaped face as she stared down at Melissa.

Overall Impression:
Descriptions are woven in skillfully. Melissa is well-rounded and believable.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
237
237
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ,
I am reviewing the item {item:}

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" .

Title:
Fit the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Did it read “on/off” like a standard switch? Or even “power?” No, of course not! It’s some sort of funky symbol. And for what purpose, if not to stop someone like me dead in my tracks? Well, it almost worked. But not quite.

This made me laugh out loud.

Overall Impression:
This was a funny piece about a mother trying to figure out how to use a computer.

Suggestions for improvement:
I'm not a big fan of using capitalization or extra spaces (s l o w l y) to emphasize what you're trying to say. Your writing should be able to do that *Smile*.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
238
238
Review of Blank Page  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "Blank Page" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Not sure if it fits the piece.

Flow:
Okay

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Pristine white expanse crying out for words to fill its empty space

Good description!

Overall Impression:
The description of the paper waiting for you to write your feelings on is very good.

Suggestions for improvement:
This doesn't seem to fit together well, especially the last line.
Rating:

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
239
239
Review of Rainbow  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "Rainbow" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
My silky sunshine-yellow shirt,

Good description!

Overall Impression:
Nice descriptions to create a rainbow.

Suggestions for improvement:
It's a jump to describing clothes to "all the world's a rainbow". Maybe you need a transition in there somehow.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
240
240
Review of The Ultimate Test  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "The Ultimate Test" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
well know=well-known

Favorite Line:
Hector roared away from the curb leaving a cayenne pepper-colored rust cloud behind him.

This is good description.

Overall Impression:
I love the way the students take their revenge on Hector. His character is well-rounded and believable.

Suggestions for improvement:
Just fix the mistake mentioned above.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
241
241
Review of If Only  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "If Only" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
If only......what powerful words.

Overall Impression:
The emotion of a lost love is captured well.

Suggestions for improvement:
The rhyme in the first stanza sounds a little forced.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
242
242
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "Losing Those Last Few Pesky Pounds" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw.

Favorite Line:
I love the cautionary note at the end!

Overall Impression:
How many of us have been desperate enough to try something like this (though maybe not so extreme!). This made me laugh out loud.

Suggestions for improvement:
Some of the spacing between the paragraphs isn't right. You might want to double-check that.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
243
243
Review of Kindness  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "Kindness" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Don't squash my desires,
They give me the fire
I need each day to keep going.

This is done too often and not always on purpose.

Overall Impression:
Nicely done look at how adults don't communicate well with teenagers.

Suggestions for improvement:
Don't put down my choices,
Because angry voices
Won't change them to suit you.

This doesn't flow as well as the rest.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
244
244
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "Let's Give Snuggles a Bath!" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" 

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
{i]You will notice very early in the game, that even if you have a very large bathroom, once you assemble your game equipment, your bathroom will be transformed into a quite cozy, intimate space.

That is the truth!

Overall Impression:
A funny take on giving a large dog a bath.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
245
245
Review of My Corner  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello awordqueen ,
I am reviewing the item "My Corner" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

I am reviewing this piece because of your request on "Invalid Item" .

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Fine

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw.

Favorite Line:
If I can see you and hear you,
Then I'll know you're here,
And that's all I need.

Overall Impression:
You did a good job capturing the need to both be with people and be left alone.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
246
246
Review of The Lesson  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Fairport ,
I am reviewing the item "The Lesson" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw.

Favorite Line:
Sister Margaret stood as an ominous specter before them.

Good detail!

Overall Impression:
Description, especially of your characters, is woven in skillfully. The first sentence caught my attention and the rest of the story held it.

Suggestions for improvement:
I'm curious about the other secrets Patrick is hiding from his mother.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
247
247
Review of Time to Upgrade  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Morgan Adam Internet Problems! ,
I am reviewing the item "Time to Upgrade" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Jackson was the emotional equivalent of the statue that adorned the Breaker Graduate School, minus its evil glare, of course.

Why must they always have the evil glare *Smile*?

Overall Impression:
Anne was well-rounded and realistic. I love her battle with technology.

Suggestions for improvement:
I'd like to know a little more about Jackson. You mention that he is an "unusual accountant", but how?

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
248
248
Review of Autumn Memories  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello ShelleyA~13 years at WDC ,
I am reviewing the item "Autumn Memories" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well.

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
“What are you up to?” I asked. She laughed and said, “You’ll see” as we continued down the path towards her home.

“What are you up to?” I asked.

She laughed and said, “You’ll see,” as we continued down the path towards her home.

Favorite Line:
Marlene hooked her arm in mine and we started to walk back to her house.

This is a nice visual.

Overall Impression:
The descriptions are clear enough to see. I like the way you used the prompt.

Suggestions for improvement:
What was the surprise? I'd rather see another couple of paragraphs then to leave it on a cliffhanger.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
249
249
Review of Gemstone Boutique  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Prof Moriarty ,
I am reviewing the item "Gemstone Boutique" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Very original.

Grammar:
fulltime=full-time

changed. Till yesterday
I would use until

Overall Impression:
Some of the questions were really hard (but not too hard), but that just shows that you spent the time to go through fellow member's portfolios and guest books.

I like the use of color and the little pots of gold. Too bad they didn't have gems to go with your theme.

Suggestions for improvement:
I would like to see you state in the into which names you are looking for. I assumed it was the most used, but you know what they say about assuming *Smile*. It might make it easier just to state which ones.

Rating:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar*

Keep writing!

Ashley Daeschlein
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
250
250
Review of Jumpers  
Review by Ashley
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Hyperiongate ,
I am reviewing the item "Jumpers" 

Please know that this review is only my opinion and is made with the intent to make a good piece even better *Smile*.

Title:
Fits the content well

Flow:
Good

Grammar:
No mistakes that I saw

Favorite Line:
Where did that come from? What the h*** is a hollow-point?

I like the way you show Lisa's confusion at her new-found knowledge

Kudos:
Lisa's character is well-rounded and believable.

Suggestions for improvement:
I'd like a little more information on the Jumper virus.
Rating:

Keep writing!

*Balloon*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Balloon*

Ashley Daeschlein
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