I loved your message of dark defeat only to find optimism waiting on the other side. It's a tough road to walk and sometimes staying optimistic is a lonely road, especially when people around you assert their negative energy onto you.
I loved how you compared our minds to locked doors and the keys lie in our thinking. I find that to be true. Sometimes, it is the road less traveled that gives us the greatest journeys and the ability to create new pathways where perhaps none existed before.
Write on Soul Man! Just write in a bigger font and maybe break between paragraphs so older eyes can see.
But still, here in the winter we dream of the summer is my favorite line in the poem. It gives such hope to the reader! It's so easy to see life fade before us as we age but then I think we are closer to yet another dream. Here's to touching the sky!
Wow! That was a great read, how fun! I think you can make it longer and still keep it interesting. I have never seen anyone put into writing so creatively when they feel they have been condescended to. It's one of the most frustrating feelings in the world, it's probably why I didn't like any of my teachers (and most of my know-it-all peers) growing up. Good job with it and good luck!
Wow! This was so good I'm putting it on the review page. I really liked it, a short story that packs quite a punch! What a colorful piece. The thing I like about this piece the most is that for it's length it's complete. I don't feel like you left anything out, leaving us guessing.
This is an endearing poem. I think losing friends under life changing circumstances change us in immeasurable ways. I'm glad to read it, it's very touching. Good luck and welcome, it's a great place for writers!
I don't have any suggestions, I liked it just the way it was.
Wow! Great job! I totally feel how you feel. For me I have found in my own search for truth that it's all a matter of perception. The disappointing thing is, truth is so elusive to us that I think we all will always be the seekers, and that people who tell you they know the truth are the farthest from it. Thank you for sharing that!
This is one the most emotional pieces I have read so far. It bursts through the impartial defenses of my heart, right into the emotional center. I felt this one deep;y and believe others should read it! I would like to thank you for being brave enough to share this with other readers.
You really know how to develop a plot, the chapters just keep getting better. The only thing I got confused on during my first read through the chapter was your introduction of Athenias's crew. I couldn't keep them straight on my first read. I know you said there were seven, but I counted eight unless you weren't counting Athenias as part of her crew.
Since we are not able to see these characters, I would spend a little more time describing their culture and history to make the universe really come alive.
Overall, I loved and I look forward to reading the rest of the chapters.
Wow! What an awesome read, it definitely intrigues me enough to want to read more! I honestly don't have any criticism for you. The plot is interesting and the characters really come alive. Athenias is going to be one tough broad, I have a feeling we will really be getting to know her.
The problem with using logic as a measuring rod to prove or disprove God's existence is that logical arguements can be crafted to the crafter's point of view. I too am an agnostic, my argument could be constructed like: a. God is energy b. The scientific method can not measure this kind of energy currently c. Therefore, God can not be measured by scientific method currently. We can not know where the avenues of science and religion will cross in the future, but I for one am looking forward to that intersection.
I felt your essay was not written for the average lay person so if your point of view was written for the average person interested in this topic you might want to consider changing some of your writing style. Overall, I was highly impressed with the tenacity you attacked your opposing point of view.
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