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Review by Ms. J
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April 28, 2012 – Gaißach



The morning began with gray overcast skies that quickly burned away, bringing forth a gorgeous sun and casting long shadows down through the scenic little valleys spreading out from the bustling little village of Gaissach. great description.

Monday and his team were refreshed passive voice by the crisp morning air. Daria was walking walked about greeting the village residents as they scurried about their early morning chores. The little cemetery was alive hummed? with activity. Dom was talking with the minister of the church, his Italian flavored German combined with his hand waving gestures, almost comical to the eye. Henri was in a heated discussion with the commander of the SGS9, Special Operations Section, who was also commanding the SEK Teams, one stationed around the cemetery, the other waiting nearby in an armored personnel carrier.

“Old fart won’t let us bring the backhoe into the cemetery,” Chester stated, casting an evil eye at the tall lanky minister talking with Dom. “Doesn’t want the other graves disturbed by the treads.”

Monday watched as the minister gave a signal and four stout villagers ambled over and started burying their spades in the rich dark soil. The men went at the ground with gusto, dirt flying high and starting to mound on one side of the grave. At the ratecomma they were digging the casket would be unearthed in no time at all. Noting a noise to his right, just outside the cemetery, he saw the second SEK Team load into the personnel carrier. The vehicle backed then pulled out heading down the hill towards Bad Tölz. He glanced at the roof of the church but could see nothing, which was as it should be. Scout was posted on the roof, both as a sniper and to give early warning of unusual activity. Monday had previously made contact with him and all was clear from his vantage space?point. He looked up as Henri approached.

“Arrogant little snot,” Henry remarked, nodding nodded his head in the direction of the SEK commander. “Tried to give him a few pointers and he acted as if I was taking his command away from him. Hell, I was dropping on missions before he was a twinkle in his daddy’s eye.”

“Some men don’t take to advice,” Monday replied, smiling smiled at the frustrated Henri. “Until it’s too late.”

“Local police said there was no activity around the cemetery last night,” Henri continued, with a delayed chuckle. “Place was quiet as a grave yard.” *Paragraph*Monday glanced at his smug face with a sardonic grin, then dismissed his silly attempt at humor. He was concerned that Dorbec had not yet shown his hand. The middle of the night would have been a golden opportunity to do so. At the rate those men were digging, Dorbec’s men could have accomplished the job with plenty of time to spare before daylight. Something was sure to happen, a man like Dorbec did not concede defeat without a fight.

The activity in the cemetery had also brought out a group of curious spectators. A small collection of elderly men and women and a few children were standing just outside the cemetery in a tight knot. Among them Monday recognized Helmut Drechsler, the gasthaus owner, waving a greeting at him. He scanned the small crowd for signs of Heike, Drechsler’s daughter, but did not spot her. He and Heike had been friends; close friends, but when she got too interested and started talking marriage, he and stopped going to the gasthaus when he was certain she was around. Not that he disliked Heike, he simply was not ready for marriage or commitment at the time. He waved back at Drechsler who raised his arm in mimic of downing a lengthy beer.

Daria watched as Monday waved to a cotton headed man in the small crowd, then smiled as the obvious invitation to have a beer was returned by the man. “The gasthaus owner,” she assumed. Monday and Henri were standingstood together near the excavation site. The workmen were making quick work of excavating the casket as the mound of earth grew higher and higher by the minute. Glancing to her right she could see Dom earnestly talking with the lanky church minister, where they had been joined by several people,passive voice most likely members of the Jager family. She laced her fingers in Monday’s as she slid in between Monday and Henri.

“Almost over Liebling,” Monday said, looking down into her beautiful blue eyes. “In a few minutes we’ll know if we have succeeded or failed. It’s been an interesting hunt hasn’t it?”

“To say the least,” Daria replied in an exasperated tone of voice.rolled her eyes “All I want is for it to be over so we can be together, by ourselves preferably.”

Suddenly, one of the diggers yelled from the gravesite. They had hit the solid wood of the casket. The minister hurried over to the grave and glanced down. The small group of family members followed him but he signaled for them to back away and for the diggers to continue removing the dirt from around the casket. Two other men walked over carrying long heavy-duty straps, which would be used to lift the coffin from the hole. In less than half an hour the sturdy casket was resting on solid ground to the side of the small pit. The minister approached and removed the remaining dirt particles with a small broom, then stood back and motioned for everyone to bow their heads in prayer. As soon as the prayer was completed, he nodded to Henri, giving permission to open the casket.

After breaking the seal, which took considerable effort, Monday and Henri lifted the lid of the casket. The body inside was dressed in Wehrmacht uniform. with? combine the sentence? The Knight’s Cross of the Iron Cross was draped around the corpse’s neck. Although considerable decay had set in, the man could still be identified as the same young man in the photograph in the wine shop and the one on the tomb.

“Sergeant Jager,” Henri whispered. “Are you sleeping on top of twenty tons of gold?” he muttered, as if the dead man would answer him.

Monday noticed a small box lying near the corpse’s feet. The box was about five inches by five inches in size with a depth of several inches. It was very heavy when he picked it up. He handed it to Daria, standing behind and to his right. She fidgeted with the box for a few minutes then passed it back to him, unable to open it. Monday removed his pocketknife and scored around the edges of the box then pulled hard on the lid. The box slowly opened. Consider revising this paragraph. All the sentences start with subject/verb pattern.

Inside the heavy box, resting on a cushion of what appeared to be powdered gold, was a heavy gold chain. Attached to the chain, in a beautifully designed setting, was a strange pulsating jewel embedded in the center of a twisted cross. AsThe egg sized jewel continuously shifted colors. comma The pulsating light made them dizzy as comma leaving Monday he and Daria watched, lost in a mesmerizing fog. They quickly snapped out of the trance when Henri reached over and closed the lid of the heavy box.

“So beautiful,” Daria whispered, her face still in awe of the radiant jewel.

Henri started going though the pockets of Sergeant Jager’s uniform tunic. After a few moments of careful searching, he held up a manila envelope, faded amber with time. He asked to borrow Monday’s pocketknife, then slit the envelope open. Monday removed several pages of yellowing and stained papers. The lettering was handwritten, not typed. The message, in Germna, German was addressed to no one or no organization in particular. Henry started reading it:

March 27, 1945

We received word that the American Army was moving into our area under their gangster leader, General Patton.

We were ordered to assemble all the students of our SS-Junkerschule at Bad Tölz and along with the cadre to form a combat unit to resist the Americans. It was first intended that the unit should be named SS-Junkerschule Bad Tölz, but was renamed to SS-Division Junkerschule, but they finally took the name away and named it the 38. SS-Grenadier-Division Nibelungen. This was done by the commander of our SS cadet school Richard Schulze-Kossens . couple of sentences with passive voice, but that might be ok here. It almost gives it an air of being translated from the German to English.

Although formed from men of the Junkerschule, our division also received additional strength from parts of other units. This included an SS “special use” Begleit-Battaillon Reichführer SS, two Zollgrenzschutz battalions , soldiers from 6th SS Mountain Division Nord , a company from 7th SS Volunteer Mountain Division Prinz Eugen (with Volksdeutsche members) officers from the 30th Waffen Grenadier Division of the SS (2nd Russian) (who were incorporated in the SS-Polizei-Bataillon-Siegling ) and a whole battalion of Hitlerjugend members. We also had 2 I like to spell out numbers 1-10.Grenadier regiments, SS-Grenadier-Regiment 95 and SS-Grenadier-Regiment 96.

Our first commander was Richard Schulze-Kossens, who was the Commanding officer of the SS-Brigade Nibelungen and the Junkerschule at Bad Tölz but he was followed by Martin Stange.

To get to the point of my message, while organizing the unit and preparing for combat against the Americans, I was ordered by SS Brigadefuhrer, ok, maybe not so much passive voice. August Schmidthuber, commander of the 7th SS Volunteer Mountain Division, the Prinz Eugen Division, to prepare for a special delivery on April 3, 1945.

I was to prepare a brick lined recess on the lowest floor of the school, a room five meters by four meters, and have enough concrete available to cover the entire floor for a distance of 10 meters over the recess.

On the evening of April 9, 1945, a convoy of trucks and ambulances entered the Kaserne. We had one full company of men left on duty at that time, the rest had left with the Nibelungen Divison.

The commander of the convoy, a Major, told me the ambulances were used because Bad Tolz was well known by the Americans as a medical and hospital center and they were known not to bomb hospital vehicles.

I was ordered to have my men unload the crates inside the ambulances and stack them in the special recess we had built on the bottom floor. During the unloading, one of the crates fell and inside, to our amazement, was a number of solid gold bars.

When I asked the Major about them, he told me that no one was to know what was in the boxes, not even our new commander, SS-Standartenführer Martin Strange, who had just assumed command that day.

The last thing he gave to us was ten large and very heavy boxes. Marked on the exterior of the boxes was the address of Wewelsburg Castle. He did not say what was inside them, but we later learned that they were full of SS rings.

The number of boxes we placed into the special recess almost filled it completely. I would estimate at least 20 tons or more.

Upon completion of filling the recess, we poured a five-inch layer of concrete over the entire area and blended it in with the remainder of the floor so as to appear that nothing was below.

I was told to leave the area and the Major and his men allegedly placed tripwires and demolitions to keep the Americans from that section of the school. After the war, and we are all certain now that it will end soon, I will report this to higher command. If…”

Because of water damage, the remainder of the note was illegible and the name of the young officer who wrote it was also smudged and could not be read. He passed the note to Dom.

“I’ll be damned,” Monday blurted. “The gold is in Flint Kaserne after all. We all thought it was just another tall tale. Seems like wherever the Allies went after the war there were rumors of Nazi gold hidden nearby.”

“Twenty tons of gold,” Henri smiled, his eyes lighting up. “And we found it.”

“That’s not all,” Dom stated, reading the message again. “The SS rings from Wewelsburg castle could also be worth a fortune.”

“Why’s that?” Daria asked. “Aren’t they just rings?”

“The SS Ehrenring, SS Honour Ring or Totenkopfring, Death's Head Ring, was given to members of the SS as an award for bravery,” Dom replied. explained? “Upon the death of the recipient, the rings were to be returned to Wewelsburg castle, the "spiritual home" of the SS. As the war drew to a close, Himmler ordered that all of the rings that had been returned, estimated at around 9,280, should be hidden in a cave somewhere near Wewelsburg and the entrance to the cave sealed forever with explosives. They have never been found. Obviously, they were sent to the SS School here instead. At current market values, the rings would be worth between £3,000 (4,600) and £5,000 (7,600)each, or £27,840,000 – (42.600.000) £46,400,000 (71,000,000) in total. The rings held at the castle were only those that were returned there from the battlefields. In many cases soldier’s remains were not recovered, or rings were lost, so genuine examples of Totenkopfring's have turned up occasionally.”

“So, on top of the base value of the gold itself, these SS Rings are also worth a fortune,” Henri stated. Dom nodded his head in reply. “Of course with so many hitting the market at one time their value will drop considerably.”

“What do you make of this?” Monday asked, passingpassed the heavy box to Dom. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it before.”

Dom curiously switch Dom and curiously opened the box. As soon as he spotted the incredible jewel, his jaw dropped and his thoughts exploded. “This is it,” he thought. “This is what we have been searching for.” The spell was broken when Monday slammed the lid on the box. Dom wanted to take it and run, run as fast as he could.

“Strange jewel isn’t it? Monday stated, observingobserved the clouded look on Dom’s face. “Daria and I felt the same way when we looked at it. It’s as if the jewel has the ability to take over your mind.”

“Incoming,” Monday heard over his earphone. “Parachutes gliding in at ten o’clock,’" Scout reported. Monday looked up into the sky to his left. Half a dozen paragliders were quickly descending towards the cemetery. It looked like Dorbec was finally making his move.

Sehr gut! Great place to end the chapter. I like the mysterious jewel, that adds another layer to the mystery.

Shalisse

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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Chapter 28

April 27, 2012 – Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare - Bad Tölz



“We can be reasonably certain that they know of the importance of Sergeant Jäger’s grave,” Chester [x}stated, leaneding over a coffee table to view the rough sketch of the layout of the town of Gaißach. “Bones and Scout had a pleasant afternoon swilling down beer with a couple of Dorbec’s mercenaries.”

“Herr Drechsler said to say hello and he wants you to drop in before you leave,” Bones stated with a wide grined. “His daughter Heike also said to say hello. They both remember you very well, especially Heike.”

Daria cast a questioning glance and You don't need that because it's telling the reader. The other is showing the reader. raised eyebrow in Monday’s direction. “Old friends,” Monday quickly replied. “Just old friends.”

A loud rap sounded at the door. Bones opened it to a reveal a flustered Dr. Prestano, who was carrying a bottle of wine in one hand and a sloshing snifter in the other. “Madre del dio! Almost broke the damn bottle on the door,” he remarked, heading headed towards the coffee table. He gently switch he and gently. sat the bottle down and quickly eased his bulk onto the overstuffed couch. “Did I miss anything?” he casually asked.

“We were discussing the good old days at Gaißach,” Chester replied. teased? laughed? snickered? “And the fact that Bones and Scout had a laid back day entertaining two of Dorbec’s men.”

“There is something else of importance we need to discuss,” Mike ‘the Geek’ stated, pullingpulled a few scraps of wrinkled paper from his back pocket. “I got a call from Oddball comma who’s in Argentina with Chewey and Taco Bender running those errands for us. They’re in a little town called Villa La Angostura. They were trying to look at the grave you asked them to check on, the one marked Hanna Reitsch. It’s located in a small cemetery at the Chapel of the Virgin of the Ascension, or some name like that. The Monsignor refused to allow them inside the cemetery. They also said several other shady looking characters had approached the Monsignor with the same question. They are staying at a little hotel called the Aldea Bonita and await further instructions.”

Dom looked at Monday with a concerned stare. “So, we have competitors on the trail in South America also.” he remarked. “I think Herr Szekler has more pull behind him than we suspected, considerably more.”

“What’s so important about this grave?” the Geek asked.

“The short note Daria’s grandmother left to her advised us to look in the City of Villa La Angostura in a grave marked Hanna Reitsch,” Monday replied. “The note further insinuated that a Nazi miracle and taken place and it mentioned that Daria’s true grandmother was Eva ‘Braun’ Hitler. The note also implied that a treasure far greater than all the gold in the world waited there.”

“Who was this Hanna Reitsch?” Chester asked, addressing addressed his question to Henri who was casually reclining on a corner barstool next to him.

“One hell of a woman,’ Henri replied. “You might say she was the German equivalent of Amelia Earhart and then some. She was one of the world’s most extraordinary test pilots. She flew the Me163, a Rocket Aircraft and climbed to 30,000 feet in 90 seconds. She flew a sailplane into a thundercloud and climbed to 10,500 feet and had the aircraft and controls lock up from icing, and survived. She was the first to fly a sailplane over the Swiss Alps and also set world records in sailplanes, aircraft, and flew the world's first helicopter. She was the first woman to earn the Silver Soaring Medal. She set the Women's World Record for distance and the Women's World Altitude record for gliders. She flew in South America, Finland, Portugal, and even in the U.S. at the National Air races at Cleveland, Ohio in 1938. She achieved 40 altitude and endurance records in Gliders and aircraft in her lifetime. Even the Luftwaffe gave her the Military Flying Medal. In 1945 she flew the last plane out of Berlin hours before the fall of the city. She was also decorated with the Iron Cross with Diamond Clasp.” Too many sentences starting with she in this paragraph.

Chester gave a low whistle.“Whew! She sounds like my kind of woman period,’ Chester stated. “Also sounds like you have the hots for her seeing as how you know all that detail about her.”

“She was a cute little thing too,” Henri chuckled. “Just over five feet tall, or petite as we say today, blond hair, sassy, but unfortunately a very devout Nazi.”

“How did she end up in Argentina?” Bones asked.

“Historical records indicate that she did not,’ " Dom cut in. “Reitsch died in Frankfurt in 1979 at the age of 67 following a heart attack. It is believed that she never married or had children. She once noted that the love of her life had died in the war.”

“Then why use her name for a grave site which supposedly hides a secret of some kind?” Chester asked.

“That is where another mystery slides in,” Dom replied, warmingwarmed up to the subject. “We know that she kept a low profile after the war. She was interviewed and photographed several times in the 1970’s by US photo-journalist Ron Laytner. At the end of her last interview she told Laytner: “And what have we now in Germany? A land of bankers and car-makers. Even our great army has gone soft. Soldiers wear beards and question orders. I am not ashamed to say I believed in National Socialism. I still wear the Iron Cross with diamonds Hitler gave me. But today in all Germany you can't find a single person who voted Adolf Hitler into power... Many Germans feel guilty about the war. But they don't explain the real guilt we share - that we lost.” She was an enthusiastic admirer of Hitler who begged to be allowed to die with him in the Fuhrerbunker at the end of World War II. Reitsch was the only woman ever to be awarded the Iron Cross and Luftwaffe Diamond Clasp. She always wore her awards on her uniform, that she designed herself. She was also given the rank of Flugkapitan by Hitler. Hanna flew in Africa, India, Spain, visited the US and other places after the war and even set a glider record the year before she died, but there is no mention of her having been in Argentina.” break up this paragraph

“She did make one strange statement about Hitler’s final end,” Henri returned. “After the war she said, “I was a German, well known as an aviator and as one who cherished an ardent love of her country and had done her duty to the last. Legends formed about my last flight into Berlin. Might I not perhaps have hidden Hitler away somewhere?” No one seriously believes such a thing happened though.”

“One question certainly comes to mind,” Daria stated. “Is Hanna Reitsch buried in Frankfurt or is she buried in Argentina?”

“It’s most likely that had Reitsch been on the Allied side during the war she would have gone down in history as the greatest female aviatrix of all time,” Henri replied. “Surpassing the fame of all other women fliers including Amelia Earhart. The fact that she remained a devout Nazi lost her her rightful place in history. There is no doubt in my mind that she is buried in Frankfurt.”

“Using her name on a tombstone does not necessarily mean she is the occupant therein,” Dom stated. “Obviously this is just another hidden message you were meant to follow and Reitsch’s past as a Nazi heroine may be just a tribute. Although there may be other connotations to the use of her name and in particular. Her war time exploits may reveal more than we know. Of coursecomma we have yet to explore that avenue.”

“Tell Oddball that we need to know what’s in that grave,” Monday said, addressing addressed the Geek. “If Schafer and Szekler are interested in it and if Dorbec has men on the hunt there then it must be something important. The note did indicate that was the case.” He stopped to take a swig of hot coffee. “Right now we have more pressing concerns,” he continued. “We’ve got to figure out the best way to get the gold and/or prevent Dorbec from getting it.”

“I have the Bundespolizei set up for tomorrow at 9 AM,” Henri stated. something else besides stated here “My friends in SGS9, the Special Operations Section, will have several SEK Teams on the ground and ready for action. One team will accompany us to Gaißach and another will stand by to react to outside diversions. The local police have the cemetery under guard tonight.”

“I have obtained permission from the Church and family to dig up the grave,” Dom stated. change stated perhaps show us a facial expresssion. “I promised the family a generous offering for their somewhat recalcitrant help.” He did not mention that his special connections at the Vatican helped in this regard. “It was through the efforts of one of my associates that this was accomplished so fast. I believe you met him in Berchtesgaden, Brother Cencio Contadino. He is a member of the Teutonic Knights and a distant relation of the Jäger family.”

“Old fish eyes,” Chester muttered under his breath. He looked at Monday with a ‘what’s up’ shrug. “I made arrangements for a very small back hoe,” Chester continued. “Bones said the graves are pretty close in that cemetery so I’m not certain if we can even use it. As a backupcomma I hired four locals to help dig.”

“Any action from Dorbec’s corner?” Monday asked, glancing at Weps and Scout.

“Not much going on at their hotel,” Weps replied. “They have been sending men all over town like worker bees. Since we don’t have the manpower to cover them allcomma I have no idea where they went and what they did.”

“We did notice several new faces visiting their dark realm,” Scout stated. “They were not Special Forces types, more like businessmencomma or bankerscomma or even undertakers.”

“Dorbec is a master of deception,” Henri stated. “He cannot be underestimated. He pulled off some operations in Africa that legends are made of. It is said that he once stuffed men into dead crocodile carcasses to kidnap the leader of a rival faction. Poor blokes lay inside those rotting crocks for hours before getting their opportunity to strike. But it worked.”

“Sounds like a man without any weaknesses?” Dom stated. “But, as we all know, everyone has an Achilles Heel somewhere in their makeup.”

“He has his weaknesses,” Henri chuckled. “Dorbec may not appear vain but he is and he has a particular weakness for the opposite sex. He’s also been known to get too close to some of his men at times. Too sentimental one might say.’

“Somewhat of an American trait,” Dom stated, musedsmiling at Monday and his Team. “Although that may not be so much of a weakness as it is a sign of tenacity and dependability.”

“You can bet he’s planning something out of the ordinary,” Monday stated. firmly set his jaw? “Whatever it is, we’ll be ready for him.”

Shalisse

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Chapter 27 April 27, 2012 – Gaißach



Bones and Scout were strolling strolled along Dorfstrasse, enthralled by the massive and beautiful farmer’s home dominating the end of the street. The five level home was a classic example of Bavarian architecture, with three tiered balconies decorated with intricately designed balusters and hanging flower boxes with a mixture of red, yellow and white flowers. A few streets over, the Gaissach church, a white church with a dark brown colored roof and unusual onion dome overshadowed its surroundings. The streets were immaculate as usual, no sign of litter, cigarette butts, or discarded paper. The Bavarians were the epitome of order and cleanliness in their surroundings. Everything had a place and everything was always in its place. Great description. It makes me want to go see it! sigh...

They had spent a lot of time in the little town with Monday and the rest of the Team, spent much time in the little town, back in the day. Walking the streets now it was as if they had never left. Like thousands of American military personnel assigned to the area for duty or schooling, they had fallen fell in love with Bavaria, which would forever hold a special place in their hearts and memories.

They remembered the church from jogging past it so many times while doing physical training. Not that many had attended its services, but the church was the pivot point in their trip back to the kaserne after a lengthy run across country and up mule hill. It was their final inspiration to finish that short leg to end their agonizing run.

They quietly switch quietly and they entered the church cemetery and walked among the silent graves. There was a lot a lot is kinda an empty word. of history in the little cemetery, going back for many years. Many of the grave markers and headstones had photographs of the deceased for family and friends to remember the occupants by. There were a number of headstones picturing young men in Weirmacht uniform, young men cut down in the prime of their lives.*Paragraph* They found the grave of Claus Jäger a short distance into the yard. He was surrounded by several generations of deceased family members. They stared at the young face of the fallen hero for a few moments as a photo of him was proudly posted on his headstone showing him in his uniform wearing his Iron Cross. Bones and Scout both came to attention and saluted the brave young man’s image. He had been the enemy of their country at one time, but he was also a brother in arms who fought for his country’s cause when called upon to do so. They doubted he was one of the fanatical Nazis, few country boys had been. Most likely comma he was a simple farm boy caught up in the patriotic zeal that swept the country at that time.

As they left the cemetery comma they noticed an elderly white haired man several graves over pulling weeds from around a well manicured grave site. The man stared at them for a few moments then removed his hat and bowed his head in genuine respect. He had obviously seen the two of them saluting the young warrior’s grave.

“Beer time, period” Bones stated, shuddered as they quietly exited the cemetery. “Graves give me the willies.”

“I could use a cold one too,” Scout replied. “A very big cold one.” *Paragraph*They quickly made their way to the small gasthaus they had been in dozens of times while stationed at the Kaserne. As they entered the front door comma they noticed there were half a dozen occupants already in the cozy little pub. Three elderly men were drinking at the stomtish table, one was tending bar and heading to join the other three, and two obvious non-villagers were setting at a small table in the corner. The stomtish table was a table reserved for special guests and no one ever sat at it unless personally invited by the owner to do so. To occupy this table without permission was considered an insult to the gasthaus.

They took a seat facing the two men in the corner. “Sir des guten Nachmittages. Zwei große dunkle Biere gefallen, period” Bones remarked to addressed the barkeeper, ordering two large dark beers.

The elderly man quickly brought them two heavy steins filled with dark beer, a billowing cap of foam on the tops. He looked at them with curiosity, as if he knew them, then shook his head. “We have been here many times in the past,” Bones answered his unasked question.” We were once stationed at the Kaserne. You are Herr Drechsler yes?”

“Yes,” the man replied. “Helmut Drechsler. You were with the Green Beret men or the Academy men, yes?”

“The greenie beanies,period” Scout answered with a smile ed. “Our team spent many nights here at the stomtish table. Our leader was Herr Stiehl, Monday Stiehl.”

“Now I remember,” Drechsler replied with a big grin. “Kapitän Montag, the man with the odd name. He was a very good and kind man. He is with you?”

“Monday is at the hotel,period” Bones replied nodded. “I am certain he would like to see you again. He was rather fond of you and your family.”

“A good man. We grew fond of him also. There are two men in the corner, who were military men,” Drechsler continued, pointing at the corner table where the two strangers sat. “One is Herr Gablercomma who said he worked with the Green Beret men at the Kaserne.”

They glanced at the two men sitting at the little table then raised their steins in salute. One man raised his beer stein in response while another fished in his pocket for something. Having found the object comma he polished it on the sleeve of his shirt then stood and walked towards their table. He smiled at them then quickly dropped a large coin into Bone’s stein. They both recognized it immediately. It was a Special Forces coin issued to all who were assigned to the Group and, in special circumstances, to outsiders who had earned the respect of the Group. Many other Special Operations units, like the Army Rangers and Navy Seals, also had the same tradition.

With a huge grin, Bones lifted his stein and drank the remaining beer, catching the coin in his teeth comma as was required by ritual. He handed the coin back to the large man who signaled for his friend to join him.

“Lars Udo Gabler,” the man said, offering a beefy hand. “I was member of the Deutsche Gebirgstruppen. We with you worked on many occasions.” The German Mountain Troops were a special unit who trained in alpine warfare with the Special Forces and many had become very close friends.

“Claude Bedeau D’Aubigne,” the second man stated in a heavy French accent while also offering his hand. “I worked with the Forces Spéciales Françaises et Etrangeres, and although I did not work close with your Group I have worked with other American Special Forces units in the past. Unfortunately, I do not have a special coin to drop into your beer.”

Both men were in their late twenties or early thirties and in prime condition. It was obvious they were still in the same special operations business but probably under different employers.

“Let me guess, Colonel Jean Marcel Dorbec,period” Bones stated with a tipped his head to the side and smiled.

“Kapitän Monday Stiehl,” Lars replied, with a bigger smile.

“Doctor Stiehl now,” Scout corrected. “Now that we know who each other works for, we can keep off the subject. No need to mess up beer and friendship with opposing business interests.”

They all wholeheartedly agreed and ordered more beer.

Good chapter. I like how you had the two sides meet at the pub and their interaction. Only real suggestion is stated, and replied repetition.

Cheers,
Shalisse
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April 27, 2012 – Restaurant ‘Zer Flintkaserne’ - Bad Tölz



As Henri drove them in his beat up old Mercedes along Sachsenkamer Strasse to the front of Flint Kaserne, the memories of the times he he Henri or Monday? spent walking up and down this street flooded back. They were warm and contented memories Just used memories, perhaps images? of days without worry, sunny days, days on skis, even a few late evenings staggering back to the Kaserne after a late night on the town with friends.

Flint Kaserne had changed a lotIMO a lot is an empty word. A lot is a palce you build a house. drastically? dramatically? since he had been there in 1990. The Kaserne now held city offices, several shops, and a Gasthaus named "Zur Flintkaserne" which specialized in original Bavarian and Austrian food. During the summer months, a small beer garden provided a cozy place to hang out and this is where he and Daria headed. They sat down and ordered a beer, a Kristallweizen for him and blond for Daria who wasn’t squeamish about drinking before noon. The friendly waiter was prompt in his delivery.

“Berg Heil!” Monday stated, raising raisedhis foaming mug in a toast.*Paste* *Paragraph*“Berg Heil,” Daria returned with a smile. *Cut*Burg Heil was the traditional German expletive climbers made upon reaching the peak of a mountain and Monday had climbed just about every mountain of any size in Germany and most of the higher peaks in Europe, including the Zugspitze in Garmisch-Partenkirchen south of Bad Tolz.*Cut*

Looking around the Kaserne brought back warm memories of when he had been stationed there. He remembered*Paste* going down a broad staircase to the first underground floor to where his team room was *Cut*on his very first day*Cut*. At the bottom of the staircase comma were the imprints in concrete of German hob nailed boots put there in 1943 by a workman who was building the place or an SS soldier careless of the wet cement.

On the floor below, still in the original German, was a sign marked bomb shelter. Monday was told learnedthat the facility originally had eight underground floorscomma but when Patton took it over they allowed the bottom floors to flood because they feared they were booby spacetrapped with demolitions. So comma there were four unflooded underground floors.

The bottom unflooded floor was closed off and consisted mostly of plumbing fixtures. The next one up had various empty and spooky storage rooms. The next one up Just used next one up. housed things like the NBC or nuclear, biological, and chemical office or NBC. The next floor up, add variety the first underground floor is where all the Special Forces teams were housed along with their respective company headquarters’. Much of the four above ground floors was were used as barracks housing for soldiers, administrative areas and other facilities.

The top floors on the south end was were used by Special Forces. The upper floors of the front and right side of the quadrangle were used by the 7th Army NCO Academy and it also contained General Patton’s office which was now? maintained as a little museum.

In the walls along the halls on the main ground floor of the huge quadrangle were using were a little too often. When you revise, you might want to mix it up. Maybe you could have Monday going through these floors and the reader sees it as he does, or he tells Daria about it. inset rifle racks made to hold the standard issue bolt action 8 mm Mauser the Germans used in WW II. Even the emergency generator was a WW II German diesel with electrical generator. It was built for powering U-boats originally built for powerful U-boats, and the Germans had one shipped and installed in a shed to provide emergency lighting. At one time comma there had been an underground garage under the courtyard of the quadrangle comma but it had been sealed off.

The inside pistol range had been turned into a bowling alley but the SF swam in the same inside pool that the once used by SS officer trainees had been trained in. They SF ran on the same outside track they SS had ran run on, worked out and played basketball in the same gym they had used and ate in the same mess hall they had eaten in. They also trained in skiing on the same mountains they had trained on.

When Monday first arrived comma there was even a former German soldier that Patton himself had hired during the occupation still working in that mess hall. That soldier had been badly wounded fighting in Rommel’s Afrika Corp and been discharged from the Army during the war. *Paragraph*In the theater comma they sat in the same seats in the SS had sat in, and a couple of those that sat in the front center row would have been sitting in the same seats that Hitlers henchmen, Jospeh Gobbels, Reich minister of propoganda, and Herman Goering, second only under Hitler and head of the Luftwaffe, both sat in those two front row seats at different times. Gobbels was there for the opening dedication and Goering came later for a tour.

The bar in the NCO club was the same one that had originally been installed there and working behind that bar was a German that had worked there most of his life. He said that during the war as a kid the SS broke both his legs when he had failed to salute them as they were marching on parade in downtown Bad Tolz. *Paragraph*US soldiers used the same motor pool facilities Hiter’s Nazi soldiers did except one garage had been turned into the Rigger shed where Special Forces parachutes were packed, maintained and stored.

The SS Commandant’s old house served as the Officers Club with the upstairs bed rooms fitted out as suites for VIP visitors. It was reputed to be haunted because he killed himself and his family after the war rather than surrender. The underground floors of the Kaserne were also said to be haunted with the footsteps of marching boots and SS commands heard late at night. It was also rumored that gold was buried somewhere in the Kaserne. That was just a rumor though. Any place the SS had been stationed was rumored to hold treasure of one kind or another.

Monday also remembered the wonderful times he had in the huge beer tents set up behind the Kaserne during HerbsFest and OctoberFest where he and his Team would overindulge in beer, chicken, Schwein Hoxen, radishes and more beer.

“Brings back memories doesn’t it?” Daria remarked, seeing the distant and dreamy look on Monday’s face.

“Good memories,” Hhe replied, raising his beer stein for another salute.*Paragraph* As he didcomma he noticed a tall, very imposing man heading towards their table. He immediately he knew that it was Jean Marcel Dorbec. The man walked with a straight back like a professional soldier and carried himself with complete confidence. He exuded a sense of self-control and his eyes constantly checked his surroundings. As he stood up to greet the man, Dorbec signaled for his to stay sitting. good use of action to show Dorbec personality.

“Ein grosses bier bitte,” Dorbec said in heavily accented German to the waiter standing near. As the waiter hurried off to get the large beer Dorbec sat gently down across the table from them. “A pleasure to finally meet you Doctor Stiehl,period” he stated. gave a kurt nod. “I have heard so much about you and your exemplary academic achievements. And good day to you Mademoiselle Wolff.”

“Your achievements are also legendary,’' Monday replied. “If the circumstances were different comma I dare say it would be a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“No need for animosity,period” Dorbec replied with a huge smile grinned. “We are merely on different teams searching for the same thing, nous pas?”

“The search may be the same but the intent varies,” Monday coolly noted.

“I see,period” Dorbec replied raised his eyebrows.. “We are Special Forces comrades in arms. I simply have allegiance to a different employer. Whereas you are satisfied to accept a five percent finders fee my employer prefers not to share any part of the bounty.”

“Seven percent,” Daria blurted. “And the German government is the rightful owner of the remaining 93 percent.”

Dorbec cast an appraising look in her direction. “Rightful owner, now there’s a misleading term comma if I have ever heard one. From where do you think this trésor originated mon petite dame? France? Poland? Italy? It obviously did not originate in Germany so the German government has no legal or rightful claim to it.”

“They can use it to make amends to those from whom it was stolen,period” Daria returned narrowed her eyes. “It will be put to good use to help others.”

Dorbec smiled at her as if she was a naive and romantic dreamer. He then returned his attention to Monday. “We offer a 50-50 split. No need for any government interference. Ten tons of gold will last you and your Team for several lifetimes. This gold was stolen by the Nazi’s and not traceable to any person or country. Ownership is to those who find it first. I prefer not to go against brothers in arms over such an easily solved situation.”

“No deal,period” Monday repliedshook his head.

“I guess your American sense of honneur cannot be bought,period” Dorbec shrugged nonchalantlystated. “But there is no loss of honneur did you mean to spell it this way? to take that which was stolen in the first place.”

“It is said that there is no, ‘honneur parmi des voleurs,’ Monday returned. “No honor among thieves. I prefer not to be placed in that category.”

Dorbec halted to raised his stein in a toast and enjoyed a deep gulp of his beer? enjoy a deep gulp of his beer, raising his stein in a toast. “Honneur parmi des voleurs,” he said with a smile. “Salut. I sincerely hope that we can solve this problem without recourse to violence.”

“I don’t think it’s the gold that draws you here.” Monday stated, uncertain if Dorbec knew of the second part of the message he and Daria had found. “A man of your abilities and skills would not have financial liabilities heavy enough to force you into such action, unless of course your desires go far beyond your needs.”

Dorbec changed the subject without replying to the query. “You have six professionals, seven if you include Henri, and two untrained civilians. No doubt you are aware that I have a full team of twelve men with other readily available assets. You and your Team are old and rusty, period or;my men are at the peak of physical and mental training. The odds against you are staggering.”

“No deal,” Monday repliedrepeated? with a grin.

“Your John Wayne mentality compliments you, but are you certain that you can live up to your good guy, white hat image?"

“They don’t call me Cowboy for no reasonnothing?.”

“Bonne chance,period” Dorbec stated, standingstood and emptying his stein. “I had to try. I sincerely hope things turn out for the best, for both of us.”

“I won’t wish you good luckcomma but I appreciate the gesture,” Monday replied, standing and offering his hand to Dorbec.

TheyNot a clear reference...Daria and Monday? watched as he casually walked from the restaurant and out of site. A signal from Weps on the other side of the courtyard indicated there was no unusual activity.

“He could have made that offer over the phone,” Daria remarked, as Dorbec turned the corner and disappeared. “Why this unnecessary meeting?”

“Sizing up the competition,” Monday repliedoffered. “It helps to know the enemy you are going up against. In this casecomma he was checking me out to see what kind of leader I am. You can tell more from a personal contact than you can from reading a personnel file.”

“Does he have the advantage over us as he insinuated?”

“Yes and no again. “He may have the edge on manpower, youth, and training but we have the law, an important and possibly decisive factor.”















Dieses ist eine Geschichte von Montag und von Daria in einem schnellen Thriller über Hitler' S-Enkelin. Es nimmt Ihnen ofrom Bayern, Deutschland, nach Argentinien und über Ihren wildesten Träumen hinaus (C'est une histoire de lundi et de Daria dans un récit à suspense rapide au sujet de Hitler' ; S-petite-fille. Il te faut la Bavière d'ofrom, Allemagne, en Argentine et au delà de vos rêves plus sauvages.) More notes? *Smile* I haven't read German in years, so it's kinda fun for me. I can even pick out a word or two of French now! Yeah!

Shalisse

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April 27, 2012 – Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare - Bad Tölz



“Things have changed,” Monday glumly stated as they were having breakfast. use his expression here to show us he was glum. He was sitting{c;blue} sat at a table in the hotel restaurant with Dr. Prestano, Daria, and Henri. “Chester reports that Schafer and his gang have been reinforced reinforcements. Scout has spotted at least a dozen men, very professional looking men, posted around their hotel. He identified at least one of them whom he thinks may be their leader, a retired French commando by the name of Jean Marcel Dorbec. Dorbec can be commaregarded as among the best of the best when it comes to unconventional tactics. The man is a legend in the French Army.”



“I read something about them in our history classes,” Daria remarked. “Weren’t they tied to the Nazi SS and the occult?” Side note- have you seen the documentary about Hitler and the occult? I think discovery channel produced it. I've got it on VHS at school, and I'll try to remember to look. It is on the History Channel every now and then. If you haven't seen it, it is worth a look.

“Yes, they originated with the Nazi’s,” Monday replied. “They are an offshoot of a Nazi organization called the Ahenenerbe-SS and were active throughout the war. It is reputed that the Karotechia managed to ‘resuscitate’ corpses that were used against the Russians on the Eastern Front, as well as to defend Berlin in 1945. Additionally there were extensive experiments on Polish and Russian prisoners in the death camps at Auschwitz-Birkenau, Treblinka, and Madjanek. It was later discovered that upon the alleged death of Hitler, Operation Werewolf was instigated by the Karotechia to recreate an earlier ritual that had destroyed Naudabaum Castle in Bavaria in early 1945 and, if successful, it was believed that the loss of life could have been far greater than both Japanese H-bombs. After the warcomma around thirty-seven highly placed members escaped to the Middle East and South America along with other Nazi fugitives. At least half of them were found and killed by Mossad or other Nazi hunters. It is also Many scholars believe? believed that they are still active in spreading their message of a new Fourth Reich.” Maybe break up this paragraph so it is not just on solid block. You could have the others' reactions, or movements, facial expressions of Monday.

“Doctor Olaf Bitterich recruited two of the organisation’s survivors, Reinhard Galt and Gunter Frank, to become the leaders of the new Fourth Reich headquartered in Argentina,” Dom added. “Bitterich believed that Hitler appeared to him and he actually wrote a book titled Mein Triumph based on his discussions with the late great Fuhrer. The Karotechia is very active in supporting underground fascist organisations.”

“There are many splinter groups here in Germany,” Henri cut in. “They’ve grown more powerful over the past fifteen years or so due to the unrest after Germany reunited. Their largest cell is located in what was Eastern Germany. You’d be surprised at some of the very prominent figures who are alleged to be members of this underground movement.” This dialog where there are telling important information, is reading more like a history paper. I know, it's one of the things I tend to do. It needs to sound more natural, not like a recitation of facts. I think you could simply do this by setting it up more like a brain storming session. Right now it all sounds they the are knowledgeable about this group, and if they all know about the group why are they spilling all this info?. You could have them start out with someone saying something like, ok, let's think this through, what do we know about these guys. Then everyone is laying their knowledge on the table. To me, that just sounds more plausible and I think a reader would see the information more as part of the puzzle, and less of a history lesson.



“That’s just up the hill from Flint Kaserne, where I was stationed,” Monday's face brightened? stated. “I spent a lot of time in a quaint little guesthouse there. We even had a special table reserved for out team.”

“Are you thinking that the gold is buried with Sergeant Jager or buried there instead of Jager?” Henri asked. “I must remind you that after the war so many people were digging up buried Nazi’s in their search for treasure that the government clamped down hard on it. It takes a special permit now to disturb any soldier’s grave.”

Daria interrupted.“Back to this commando group, where do they get their training and support?” Daria asked. “Don’t you have to be a member of the armed forces to obtain such detailed and specialized training.”





“Similar to what you and your team are doing, period” Daria commented, smiling winked? at Monday. “Except you will turn the gold over to its rightful owner correct?” She gave him a knowing look and then stuck her tongue out at him.

“Correct,” he replied. “Minus the seven percent finders fee of course.” He stuck his tongue out back at her.

“Do we agree that the gold is most likely buried with Sergeant Jager?” Dom asked, returning returned the conversation to Jager the business at hand. “Everything points in that direction comma but I will remind you we were wrong about the date of Caesar’s death. There may still be something we have overlooked of failed to take into consideration.”

“Knowing what we now know, I say we take a chance on Gaissach,” Monday replied. suggested*Paragraph* Henry nodded his head in agreement then added, “I will call my contact in the Bundespolizei and make arrangements. When do we go to Jager’s grave?”

“I’m sure that Dorbec will take his time in planning his operation,” Monday thought aloud? mused? said. “Tomorrow evening would be the earliest we may expect them to act.”

“So we either plan it for tonight or wait until tomorrow,” Dom added. “I prefer to wait and hope to catch them in the act.”

“Me too,” Henry stated. give him an action here. Does he get out of his chair? “If we can catch them digging up the gold illegally they will be locked up pending trial, and I think I have enough pull to see that their trial takes a while. I don’t relish the thought of them following us on the search for part two of the message.”

“Meaning you are going to help us on that mission also?” Monday noted, raisingraised an eyebrow. “Can the Bundeswehr afford to lose such an important person for so long?”

“I’ll have you know that I have several months of holiday coming to me,” Henri replied.I pictured something here like a wry smile. “I have already been approved to take the time off.”

It's not clear who is speaking this paragraph.“Tomorrow it is then. As soon as Chester returns we’ll establish an operations plan. In the meantime we need to have at least one man keep a watch on the cemetery at Gaissach. We can’t possibly watch all of Dorbec’s team so we won’t even try. We can pretty much figure out what he needs in order to dig up the gold and carry it away. I’m also certain he will likely create some diversion to draw the authorities in another direction. I would like to have someone watching Doctor Szekler though, period or; here I think he’s more than just the brains of their outfit. He’s probably a highly placed member of this secret organization you mentioned.”

Before Monday could continue comma his cell phone started to ringrang. Flipping open the panel commahe glanced around with a bemused look at the others. “Dorbec,” he stated, raising the phone to his lips. “What can I do for you Jean Marcel?” he asked.

“Doctor Stiehl,” Dorbec said descrine his tone of voice here. over the phone. “We have something to discuss I believe. Would you be willing to meet me at a place of your choosing in an hour or so?”

Dorbec had sounded quite sincere. “He wants to meet me somewhere,” Monday mouth to the others? Did he cover the receiver? told the others. Everyone shrugged. Obviously this was not a call that any of them had expected. “The Restaurant Zer Flintkaserne in two hours,” Monday replied.

“Two hours,” Dorbec answered then the line went dead.

“I’ll go with you,” Henri statedoffered. “This may be a plan to grab you and use you as a lever to get to us.”

“I’ll go with Monday,” Daria flatly stated. Show us her face here that lets us know she's not kidding, and there's not room for negotiation on this! Does she set her jaw? Speak slowly? “If you want to, how do you say…stake out the place, you may do so, but I am going with Monday.” Her tone of voice left no doubt of her sincerity.

Once again, I apologize for being so slow. We're coming to the end of the quarter. My in basket is sooo full! I just don't want you to think I've lost interest. I am enjoying this book very much. This is a great plot, and I like the characters you have created.

Shalisse

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Part 26

April 26, 2012 – Hotel Altez Zollhaus - Bad Tölz





Szekler gently placed his glasses back on his plump face and reached down for his cup of tea. After taking a tentative sip comma he returned the cup to the table and reached for the sugar. Schäfer watched in disgust as he added another three full teaspoons to the small cup. Satisfied that the tea was finally sweetened to his tastes, Szekler answered. “We do not have time to make the arrangements today,” he stated. “Twenty tons of gold will require a considerable amount of transport. Not only must we hire equipment to dig up the gold and load it into the transport vehicles, we do not have sufficient security to cover the operation. The men working for Stiehl are professionals. I have no doubt they are keeping us under close surveillance at this very moment. We need a plan to draw them off from the site and eliminate them entirely. That is, except for the girl.”



“Only two men,period” Mueller shrugged?nonchalantly replied. “The rest of them are either in prison or out of the country. I couldn’t contact any others due to such short notice.”



“We didn’t decide,” Schäfer replied. “The Karotechia did. As soon as they learned of the second message the mission changed. This is bigger than all of us comma and we do not have the necessary resources.”

“I don’t like working with people I don’t know,” Mueller said in anger. show us he's angry here instead of telling us“Who trained these men? Where did they come from? Why wasn’t I informed of this change?”

“They are professionals,” Szekler replied. Does he fold his arms in a gesture of authority?“The entire team has received the combined training equivalent to that of the American Seals, Russian Spetsnaz and German Kampfschwimmer combined. They are a match for any force the Americans or Germans try to put against us. You are a; comma not ; shall we say, retired commando, you know the intensive and difficult training they have been subjected to.”

“I don’t like surprises. Herr Schafer can attest to that,” Mueller replied,{c:blue{ smirked? Tell us about their expressions as they are speaking. You could have them moving around the room trying to intimidate with actions or proximity. referring to the late attorney. “I am still in command of this operation. Henceforth you will come to me before making any further plans or decisions. Is that perfectly clear?” He looked at both Schafer and Szekler with hostility. “Is that clear!”



“I don’t care if he was a damn Field Marshall,” Mueller spat back. Good! “I am still in command, is that clear?”

“Clear, period” Szekler replied, casting a glance at Schafer. His quick glance told Schafer that to tell him he was fed up with being bullied by a criminal comma and that quick changes were in order.

Several hours latercomma a hard knock was heard at the door. passive voice Mueller motioned for Schafer to answer it and slid his pistol behind his back for quick access.



“Bonsoir,” Monsieur Dorbec,period” Schafer replied, openinged the door all the way.*Paragraph* The man who entered was very tall, a full two meters in height and built like a powerful machine. Despite his sizecomma his steps were almost cat-like, his movements smooth and graceful like a dancer. He was in his early forties with only a hint of gray at the temples. His rugged but handsome face held no emotion whatever but his eyes quickly took in everything and everyone in the room.great description

“You can put the gun away Helmut,period” he quietly stated, strodewalking over to Szekler and offeringed his hand. “Herr Szeklercomma my orders were to report to you.”

“How in hell do you know me?” Mueller asked in an irritated tone of voice snapped. “I’ve never met you before. And I don’t like frogs.”

“Cashiered German commando, avid Neo Nazi, professional assassin, member of the New Ahnenerbe and all around bad ass,” Dorbecrepliedrattled off the list?. “One of my hard rules is always to know with whom I am dealing. As for the - don’t like frogs bit…ribbit. Meaning, I don’t give a s***. And, before you get your little feelings hurt and pull that pistol around, two of my men have you in their sites at this very momentcomma and they are in direct contact with me.” Dorbec pointed to a small receiver behind his right ear. “ Also, They are also expert marksmen.”

“Monsieur Dorbec, it is a pleasure, period” Herr Szekler said with a genuine smile, watching smiled at Muellers the cowed and angry face of Mueller.

“Before I begincomma I am to advise you that each of my twelve men have been paid in advance one million Euros, two million for my two team leaders, and their primary mission is not the gold,period” Dorbec stated. The gold will be an added bonus but it is not mandatory that we secure it. You, Schafer and Mueller are expendable, the girl is not to be harmed in any way. Am I clear?”

“We are all in this together,” Szekler skillfully repliedadded. “You know who I am and where I stand. Mueller and Schafer are on our team and there will be no misunderstandings. Although they are not members of the Karotechia commathey are dedicated to the same cause.”

“Brief me on where we stand,” Dorbec returned without preamble. “I need to know everything that you know, especially about the opposition.”

For over an hourcomma Szekler described everything that had occurred from the beginning. He paid particular attention to detail when it came to being observed and followed and to the presence of Dr. Prestano. When he discussed Mueller and his protégé, Fleischer, Mueller perked up and paid close attention.

“I know Dr. Monday Stiehl,” Dorbec stated, when Szekler finished. “He’s ex-Special Forces and the men shadowing you are obviously members of his old Team. They are good, very professional and highly trained, but as the Americans say, rusty. My men are at the cutting edge of their physical strength and training. We are better.”

“I am in command of this operation,” Dorbec continued, glancing up at Mueller to see his reaction. giving Mueller a sideways glance? Mueller remained silent. “What I say goes. If you hesitate to do exactly as I demand, you are expendable and you will be terminated.” He halted to observe the reaction of the three other men. “Good. Now that we have that settled, here is what we will do.”

Dorbec is a strong character and he comes through quite nicely. I made some suggestions around the dialog. I hope you don't mind.

Shalisse
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Part 25

April 26, 2012 – Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare - Bad Tölz



“Just as we figured they went to the wine shop less than an hour after we left,” Monday stated, watch those stated, replieds , and said when you do they revisions. watching the dejected faces of Dom and Henri. “Scout said Schäfer, Mueller and Vlad entered the shop, spent eighteen minutes inside, then left in a hurry.”



“Knowing what we do about these people comma I doubt they will go to the government,” Henri stated. “Most likely they’ll wait until a fortuitous time in the middle of the night to remove the gold and keep it all for themselves.”

“I still can’t understand how they found something and we didn’t?” Dom mused. “There’s something very important we’ve missed. comma Some very critical element of the puzzle.”

“What is the significance of the number of steps from the church?” Daria asked. “We never included that information in our overall scenario. Does the number 710 have any particular value or meaning?”

“ Madre del dio, i{c;blue} I' m. stupida!” Dom suddenly blurted out. “We used the wrong date for Caesar’s assassination.”

“It was in 44 B.C. or BCE wasn’t it?” Monday interjected, a puzzled look on his face.




“I’ve seen that number somewhere else,” Monday cut in, deep in concentration. After several minutes of deep thinking comma it came to him. “The number 710 was on the uniform of Sergeant Jager, I’m sure of it. Was Jager’s unit number 710?”

“Let’s see,” Henri replied, opening opened up Daria’s laptop computer. After a few minutes of searching he came back with an answer. “The Sixth Panzer Army had the 710th Infantry Division assigned to it under the command of Generalkommando Schultz. The unit fought in the Ardennes in 1944 and early 45, then in Hungary. It was disbanded near Vienna after the war.”



“As soon as we have a tentative location for the gold comma I need to contact the Bundespolizei,” Henri stated. “If Schäfer decides to go after the gold without contacting the government, he’ll lose everything. We must keep the police informed even for our own legal protection.”




Das Haus Höckh ist seit 600 Jahren fester Bestandteil der Tölzer Marktstrasse und befindet sich in der 13 Generation im Besitz der Famile Did you want this in German? It think having random German in there without explaining it will throw the readers for a loop.

It was mostly comma issues in this chapter. I'm still enjoying this novel. Once again, I apologize for being so slow on reading. I WILL keep at it though!

Have a great day,
Shalisse
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Part 24

April 26, 2012 – Hotel Altez Zollhaus - Bad Tölz





Szekler studied the photo for a few moments before replying. “Doctor Dominic Prestano,” he stated. affrirmed? “What interest could he possibly have in the gold? He’s already very wealthy.”

“He’s also closely connected to the Church,” Schäfer said. “So comma if Prestano is interested that means the Church is interested. I’m willing to bet that the gold is of little importance. Prestano is after something else entirely.”



“I wasn’t looking that close, period” Fleischer answered, giving Mueller a shrug ged. “You didn’t say anything other than to watch them.”

Schäfer rolled his eyes in a sign of disgust then concentrated on the photo of the shop. “I think it’s time we paid the wine shop a visit,” he finally stated. “Mueller, Dr. Szekler and I will enter the shop and you are to remain outside and observe,” he was addressing ed Fleischer. “And do pay attention. I want to know who walked by, who drove by, who stood for too long in one place, the basic information any novice investigator would notice.” His tone of voice was obvious. He was not happy with Fleischer’s previous performance.



“My name is Schäfer,” he replied. Did he shake hands with Krupke? I'd give him an action here. “Bruno Schäfer. I am the Assistant Director of the Cultural Ministry for Antiquities. I understand you had some visitors in earlier perhaps asking questions about the history of the shop?”

Krupke formed an instant dislike for the man. He was too officious comma and full of self-importance and had addressed him as an inferior. He was not inclined to answer the question. “What I discuss with my customers is privileged information,” he finally replied. “Is this an official government visit? If not commayou are wasting my time.”

Schäfer nodded at Mueller who walked over to a rack of very expensive wine. He picked up a bottle marked with a high price tag and pretended to look closely at it. A few seconds later he threw the bottle to the floor sending wine and shattered glass in every direction. “Oops!” he said, picking up another expensive bottle.

“They were looking for an artifact,” Krupke shouted, looking at Mueller. “They said it was an important historical artifact. They asked to see a photo of Claus Jager, the owner’s son who was killed in the war, then asked to see the cellar.” Well, he broke easily. I think just by his distaste for the man he would be more defiant, it would take more for him to roll.

“They are thieves,” Schäfer replied. sneered “They are looking for items that rightfully belong to the German government. Show me the photo of Jager and the wine cellar.”

Regards,
Ms. J
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I would almost classify this poem as a ballad. Although, it is not meant to be sung, it tells a story. Those are my favorite kinds of poems. I like that you established the relationship, and conflict in the poem, and well and have an ending and resolution. In the last stanza, the image of the dead girl is a strong one.

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Ms. J
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In my opinion this poem is a nice way to recognize someone's birthday who means a means so much to the author. I think the first stanza was the strongest because it used the poetic device of comparison with the personality of the subject and the beacon or light it radiates. I also like that you didn't try to force rhyme into the poem. Sometimes when that is done, it makes the poem seem more childish. This poem wasn't that way.

Regards,
Ms. J
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Review of Save Me A Seat  
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I think this piece is a very nice way to honor your friend. You talked about her actions and how much they meant to you.

The only suggestion I have is that butterfly is spelled incorrectly. Perhaps you did that on purpose.

I especially like the last stanza. That gives hope in the grief of this loss.

Regards,
Ms. J

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Review of Broken Bird  
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Comments:
“Gr- reetings.” s***! I cursed my own nervous voice, the stuttering that spread that gloating grin on his malevolent face.*Paragraph* My eyes squeezed shut against the sight, so that I never saw the punch that knocked me to the moist ground.

creating a new choice for the children of the village. comma All ideals I had held for years.

The ceremonial words brought a flood of memory.*Paragraph* Only then, I was known as Riley.

You have done a wonderful job with description, especially the first chapter. I quite liked this piece and would like to see it expanded. I was left with many questions. This could easily be turned into a large project.

Regards
Ms. J
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Part 23

April 26, 2012 – Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare - Bad Tölz



*Cut*“What’s the score?” Monday asked, glancing at Weps and Scout. “Did we draw Schäfer’s goons out?” *Cut*They were once again back in their hotel room, Monday and Daria having returned to their hotel room shortly after they finished lunch. Scout was engrossed in devouring a pastry as fast as he could.*Paste*

“We spotted the one that Henri identified as Dieter Fleischer,” Weps replied. “He was strolling across the bridge about the same time as you and Daria comma and he sat in a café across the street from where you had lunch.”

“There’s a good chance another of Schäfer’s gang was also there,” Scout cut in, handing a pastry smeared camera to Monday. “This fat guy was spotted in two separate locations and he didn’t look like a simple tourist or businessman. He spent too much time glancing at you comma and I’m positive he was watching Fleischer.”

“Monday took the camera and looked at the image. “I’ve seen this man somewhere else,period” he stated, his eyebrows scrunched up in thought. “He’s an academic of some sort but I just can’t place him.”

“Perhaps Doctor Prestano can identify him, period” Daria stated, taking took the camera from Monday. “His features appear Slavic or Hungarian, not German.”

Just as she started to make another remark a sudden knock came at the door. Weps got up and strolled towards the door while Scout quickly ran to hide in the bathroom. Why would Scout head for the bathroom.

Dom strolled in casting a Cheshire smile at Weps. Behind him was his man Gunter carrying a briefcase and bottle of wine. “Don’t look so surprised, period” Dom remarked, signaling signaledfor Gunter to open the wine. “It is after lunch isn’t it?” No one accepted his offer of wine so Dom poured himself a generous glass. “This would run you about 75 dollars per glass at a fine café,” He remarked, holding up the ruby colored liquid.

“How did you make out?” Monday asked as Scout quietly strolled from the bathroom. He waited as Dom took his time to enjoy the gourmet drink before answering.

“On the surface it appears to be just another wine shop,” Dom stated. “The history of the place seems to coincide with what we have learned thus far. The owners have not been running the place since the war, which have has something to do with the death of the final heir during that the war. A father and son, Krupke by name, have been in control since the 1930’s. He did mention there was an extensive wine cellar so my guess is that is the best place to search.”

“Would he be cooperative if we ask to look in the cellar, ?” Monday asked. “We’ll have to give him a good cover story or offer to pay him for his services.”

“I just spent over two thousand dollars in his shop, that ought to buy us a little cooperation.”

“The Team spotted another potential member of Schäfer’s team,” Monday continued, handing the camera to Dom. “I’ve seen him somewhere but I can’t remember where or when.”

Dom adjusted the camera and studied the picture for a few moments. A sudden smile lit his face. “This is Doctor Vlad Szekler,” he finally stated. “A very prominent historian. I believe he makes his home in Budapest. He is well known for his research into National Socialism and fascism.”

“I remember him now,” Monday cut in. “A very odd and cold looking man. He reminded me more of a pawn shop dealer than academic. We met one summer during a conference on the Nazi secrets of Peenemunde, the place where they had the V-1 flying bomb and other secrets. He talked as if he had been assigned to the base comma although he’s far too young. His knowledge was incredible.”

“A brilliant man,” Dom replied agreed. “Never underestimate him. His mind is like a computer. He’s also known to have dealings with many unsavory collectors and blacklisted curators. He’s just the kind of man that Schäfer would use as a team expert.”

“The opposition grows,” Daria remarked. “This is turning into a virtual circus. Gangsters, Nazi lovers, CIA, British Intelligence, Special Forces and my own Indiana Jones,” she finished, smiling at Monday.

“Considering the ultimate prize comma you are lucky that so few are presently involved,” Dom replied observed?. “I expect before this venture has reached its final conclusion many more ‘strange bedfellows’ will appear.” He noted an agreeing nod from the others before continuing. “Has Henri learned anything of significance?”

“Hasn’t returned or called yet,” Monday replied. “I guess our next step is to confront the wine shop clerk and go from there.”

“Gunter noticed no one observing me as I entered the shop,” Dom stated. “I recommend we keep our visit to a minimum of three or four people. I told the clerk I would be bringing in some friends so I would recommend you and Daria and perhaps one other. I am certain that we will be under observation this time so Schäfer will finally know that I am working with you.”




“Has to fit within a certain context,” Henri thought aloud? stated. “It’s like a riddle, meaning nothing in itself but tied in with other information it must provide the answer.’

Half an hour later, Dom, Monday, Daria and Henri were driven to the wine shop by Gunter. passive voiceWeps and Chester tagged behind in a rental car and dropped Scout and Bones off at strategic positions on the street. The Geek was left to make contact with several other old Team members who had retired in South America comma too see if they were interested in joining up for the second phase of the hunt. This was something they should have done sooner but preoccupation with matters at hand had delayed them.

“Gooten Tag Herr Krupke,” Dom said, as they entered the shop. “After a taste of one of your fine winescomma my friends couldn’t wait to check out your shop.” He waved his hand at the three others who joined him at one of the small tables.



Dom could see dollar signs in the man’s eyes. “Bring us a bottle of that 1974 Cheatau Petrus Pomerol I spotted on your rack,” Dom ordered? stated. “And five glasses.”



“Artifact?” Krupke asked with a smile.

“Purely historical,” Dom answered. “Actually, there is information secreted somewhere on the premises that will lead to finding the artifact. You mentioned that the ownersowners' son had been was killed in the war and the owners do not reside here anymore.”

“That is so.”

“I noticed a large number of photographs on the walls of the owners, some dating back quite a few years. They appeared to be a very social couple. I did not see one of their son, their only heir.”

“I was told to keep those? it? in the cabinet,” Krupke stated. “They loved their son but hated the Nazi’s who indoctrinated him into their fascist beliefs.”

“May we see it?” Henri asked.

Krupke stood and walked over to the counter where he normally stood and removed a worn photograph from an upper cabinet. He returned to the table and offered the framed photo to Henri. The photo was of a young man in the uniform of a sergeant in the German Wermacht. Around his neck was the Iron Cross. A brass plaque on the bottom held the inscription: Oberjager Claus Jäger - Das Eiserne Kreuz verbleibt nach dem Ableben des Beliehenen als Erinnerungsstück den Hinterbliebenen. “Sergeant Claus Jager -The Iron Cross shall be retained as an heirloom by the heirs of the recipient after his demise,” Henri read in English.

“He’s wearing the Knight’s Cross of the Iron Cross,” Dom whispered, as Henri passed the photograph around the table. “Another piece of the puzzle in place.”

Monday looked closely at the face of the young under-officer. “It a shame that so many young people had to die for such a rotten cause,” I would put thoughts in italics he thought. He noticed there were a number of squares in the background behind the boy in the photo. “What are those squares?” he asked, handing the photo back to Dom.



“The Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross, upon the date which the blood of Caesar was spilt,” Monday replied. “Everything fits to this point so I’m assuming we’re looking for a stone with the date that Julius Caesar died.” beware the Ides of March, they are tomorrow!


“Here it is, period” Daria stated, pointing pointed to a square stone on the floor with the mark of 44. The others strolled over to gaze at the unremarkable gray stone.



“I will pay for the wine we drank upstairs,” Dom stated. “I will also pay for another bottle that you may enjoy at your leisure.” He had noticed that Krupke had relished the wine as much as he had.

“Is good,” Kurpke again replied{c;blue} repeated.”

There were too many replied, remarked, and stated. I made a few suggestions for some of them.

I am suspicious of Kurpke. He seemed a little too eager to help. Hmmmm...

Cheers,
Shalisse

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Part 22

April 26, 2012 – Marktstrasse - Bad Tölz



The day was absolutely gorgeous. The temperature was a warm seventy degrees with a gentle breeze cascading over the Isar bridge. White billowing clouds slowly floated over a crystal blue sky and the smell of hot spiced wine permeated the air. Shoppers were going went about their daily chores picking over fresh vegetables and haggling for particular cuts of meat with the local vendors. Children were running ran free after the long winter hibernation, sailing boats in small pools or playing fetch with family pets. There was in an idealistic atmosphere of serenity and bliss.

Monday was strolling strolled along the banks of the small river hand in hand with Daria. He was comma captivated by the way she slowly devoured a thick buttery pastry, her pink tongue reaching into every crack and cranny of the quickly crumbling goodie. The bienenstich, or beehive delight was very popular with the locals, not too sweet with a touch of powdered sugar. Apfelstrudel, or apple strudel was also widely popular in the area comma although it was considered an Austrian pastry not German.

They passed a sweating group of villagers erecting a maypole. The maypole, a tall wooden pole, traditionally maple or birch, is erected to celebrate May Day. The locals decorated it with long colored ribbons suspended from the top, festooned with flowers and draped with wreathes and other local symbols. There are many different meanings for the maypole: a phallic symbol, a gateway between the underworld, the living and heaven, sacred trees, and others depending on which culture is involved, but in effect it was a good excuse for a Spring Festival, and Germans never needed an excuse to party.



“Penny,” Daria said, looking looked at him with a frown. He smiled back at her with a quizzical look.

“A penny for your thoughts. Isn’t that what you Americans say?”

“I was watching the children play and thinking of children, and dogs, and hot strudel and warm winter cottages, and of you.”

“What were you thinking about me?” she asked with gave him a coy look.

“Actually, I was thinking about us. I was thinking that all those other thoughts will be in our future together, and more.”

“Are you sure you still want me after discovering my ancestry? I would go with a comma here Knowing that I am the granddaughter of the most hated man in history?”



“With talk like that these comma villagers would have burned you for a heretic not long ago,” she said. “Are you my heretic?

“I’ll be anything you want me to be so long as I’m with you.”

“Don’t ever leave me,” Daria replied. commanded? pleaded? sighed? “Suddenly, life seems frightful without you.”

“There’s nothing that can separate us now,” Monday replied. “Not all the gold in the world, not even an army of thugs or a million ghosts of past history.” He looked into her crystal blue almond shaped eyes, eyes with a pixie-like slant that fascinated him, and knew that nothing would stop him from keeping his promise.

“How about some lunch?” he asked. “That pastry you have on your nose made me hungry.” He bent down and licked a piece of frosting from her tiny nose. She quickly wiped her nose with a napkin she pulled from her purse and looked sheepishly around like a young child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she said, wiping her nose again.



“We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, period” Daria said, taking took a hefty sip of the smooth blond beer. “I’ve been following your career for a while now. You’ve become quite an accomplished academic.”

“Just out playing in the dirt,period” Monday replied shrugged. “Digging up bones comma as the old phrase goes.”



“They can carp all they want comma but they still cannot explain some of the things that have been found that seems to indicate that we have been around a lot longer than many realize.”

“What kind of things?”

“Unexplained fossil handprints and footprints for one thing,” Monday replied answered. “A fossil of a human handprint was found in a limestone strata estimated to be 110 million years old. What appears to be a fossilized human finger found in the Canadian Arctic also dates back 100 to 110 million years. And the fossil of a human footprint, possibly wearing a sandal, was found near Delta, Utah Good old Delta, Utah huh? I grew up in Salt Lake. in a shale deposit estimated to be 300 million to 600 million years old. In the 1880s, anthropologists found the remains of a modern-looking man, woman and two children in glacial strata that were dated at 10 million years old. In 1971, while exploring a mine, an amateur geologist and archaeologist found a human tooth embedded in strata that was dated as 100 million years old. Humans were supposedly not around 65 million years ago, never mind people who could work metal, so then how does science explain semi-ovoid metallic tubes dug out of 65-million-year-old Cretaceous chalk in France? In 1885, a block of coal was broken and a metal cube was found that had obviously been worked by intelligent hands. In 1912, employees at an electric plant broke apart a large chunk of coal out of which fell an iron pot! A nail was found embedded in a sandstone block from the Mesozoic Era. One or a few of these oddities could be explained due to fakery but there are so many that to simply refuse to study or acknowledge them is unscientific.” I would break this into a couple of paragraphs at least.



“There are theories being developed by theoretical physicist about time displacement and other strange phenomena that could possibly explain it. But we’re getting more into the science fiction area when we take that route. Besides, this is just scientific speculation into an area that I consider strange but curious. Actually, on my latest dig, we found the tomb of Marcus Nonius Macrinus a favorite of Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who helped him achieve major victories in Europe. He is believed to have inspired the character Maximus Decimus Meridius, played by Russell Crowe in that movie the Gladiator. title in italics But although the film character is also a favourite of Marcus Aurelius and goes into battles with him in the late 2nd I would spell this out century AD, that is where the similarities end. The real Roman general is not believed to have been sold into slavery only to return to Rome as a vengeful gladiator. We discovered the tomb along the northbound Via Flaminia where construction work has been taking place. Many marble columns, inscriptions and decorations have been beautifully preserved thanks to the mud caused by a centuries-old flood of the River Tiber. Some say it is the most important ancient Roman monument to come to light in 20 or 30 years. More than 10 inscriptions on the tomb detail the life of Marcus Nonius Macrinus. They show he came from Brescia in northern Italy, was a police commissioner, magistrate, pro-consul of Asia and close confidante of Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who wanted him to fight in the wars against Germanic tribes in northern Europe. The movie character played by Russell Crowe participates in these wars and is an intimate friend of Marcus Aurelius, so chronologically we are in the same period and the war is the same, but the movie character has a very sad story and comes to a terrible end while ours becomes a rich and famous man. Enough of me though, I’d rather know what you’ve been doing these past few years.” Again, I'd break this up. Have him shift around in his seat, wave his arms, tell the story in an animated way.



Daria rolled her eyes then spotted the waiter heading towards their table with their meal. “Good timing,” she laughed, muttered? said as he place their dishes in front of them. He gave her a curious look then quickly departed.

“Guter Appetit,” Monday said, digging into his sizzling Schwein Hoxen.


I found the history in this chapter particularly interesting. I love the movie Gladiator, but it is just a MOVIE people!

Hope you had a great birthday,

Shalisse
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Review of The Raging Storm  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a good piece with a wonderful example of metaphor. I particularly like how you compare the relationship to a storm. As different aspects of the storm occur, they are mirrored in the relationship. It is an appropriate and effective comparison. It reminds me of Rosetti's Goblin Market in that it talks about a very difficult topic in a veiled but powerful way.

Regards,
Ms. J
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I think that this piece is important because it brings about an awareness of a certain event. It has the potential to be like Sunday bloody Sunday or the poem the Wreck of the Hesperus.

It seems that an over arching theme in the attack was a reaction to feminism. If would like to see that addressed more in the poem.

I like the last stanza in that it offers hope and redemption.
Regards,
Ms. J
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Part 21

April 26, 2012 – Weinhaus Höckh - Bad Tölz



As a rule Dom usually didn’t stroll around like a wild-eyed tourist, but he found the beauty and medieval atmosphere of Badtolz to be fascinating. The quaint little village reminded him of several small towns near his Villa in Italy but it held that distinctive Germanic atmosphere comma which was refreshing. As an archeological anthropologist and linguist, his interest in human nature was insatiable. He could almost feel the presence of rich history surrounding him and this region was incredibly rich in history.

The wine house was located just up the winding street from the Isar River, lined by pretty gabled houses with painted facades, art going back for hundreds of years. As he entered the ancient wine shop comma a feeling of age came over him. This shop had been in existence for many years and the aromas that assaulted his sensitive nose were a powerful aphrodisiac. The walls were lined with rack upon rack of wine and several tables were sitting against one wall for customers to relax and enjoy a single glass at their leisure. A large man wearing a clean apron stood behind a small counter polishing a brandy snifter.

Dom casually perhaps switch Dom and casually surveyed the wine offered for sale and was surprised at the extensive variety. He hadn’t expected to find so much variation in such a small shop as most small places catered to local preferences in regional wines. He was inspecting a unique find when the man silently approached him.

“May I be of service sir?” he asked, noting ed the bottle of wine in Dom’s hand.

“I’m impressed,” Dom replied, holding held up the bottle. “A Chteau Latour Pauillac, and the price is excellent.” *Paragraph*The man looked at him with a renewed sense of respect. no new paragraph here.

“We have some excellent French wines,” the man said, coming to life, more alert to this unusual customer. He pointed at another wine rack.*Paragraph* Dom slowly perused the offered wines. “A Chteau Haut Brion Pessac-Lognan, and a Chteau Valandraud Saint-Emilion,” Dom nodded his approval? stated with a sense of appreciation. “I’ll take all three and a bottle of Petrus Pomerol and one of Dom. Romane Conti,” he stated, well aware that he had just spent several thousand dollars.”

The man was shocked! Show us? Did he stutter, raise his eyebrows? He could not remember such a generous purchase in one single day and he had been working in the wind shop for many years. because it's too much of a POV switch IMO.

“I would like a glass of pernod with fifty-fifty water,” Dom stated, noting noticed the rack of bottles behind the counter. Many of these small shops offered liqueur or wine in the glass or snifter. He watched as the man poured the amber pernod into a small glass and filled it with spring water. The liquid quickly clouded over. He beamed as he offered the glass to Dom. He did not provide ice with the drink as that was an embarrassing American affliction and he knew that Dom was a man of exquisite tastes. Too many sentences starting with he here.

Dom took Taking a heavy sip of the liqueur, Dom tasted tasting the aromatic flavor of liquorice and anisette. “Excellent,” he stated. “Are you the owner of this fine shop?” he casually asked.

“Unfortunately no,” the man replied. “The owners seldom come to the shop as they are an elderly couple. I have ran run the shop for over forty years and my father before that.”

“Looks as if the place has been around quite a while,” Dom probed. “Especially in view of the excellent line of wines you carry?”

“Thirteen generations,” the man beamed. You just had him beaming in an earlier chapter. “Over six hundred years of quality service.”

Dom noticed a number of photographs decorating the walls. Some were new comma others were very old. A man and woman appeared in most of them with different clientele. They were obviously the elderly couple the clerk spoke of.

“I assume you keep most of your stock elsewhere?” he asked.

“The basement,” the man replied. “We have an extensive area in the basement where the bulk of the wines are kept.”

“Is there any way I may be able to pay my respects to the owners?” Dom asked. “Do they live nearby?”

“They live in Austria,” the man replied. answered? “To the best of my knowledge they have not been in the shop since the war. My father ran the shop from 1932 until I took over. The only contact I have with them is through intermediaries. I was told that their son was killed in the war and he was the only one of the family line left to inherit. It’s a shame after all these hundreds of years.”

“Zweiter Weltkrieg?” Dom asked, meaning World War II.

The man shook his head. “ Yes, World War II was A bad time for Germany.”

“A bad time for everyone,” Dom replied, placing {c;blue} ed{/c] the pernod glass on the counter. He paid his bill with a debit card then remarked; “I’ll have my driver pick up my purchase. His name is Gunter Hörbiger. I also comma Ihave some friends in the area and I may bring them by your fine shop.?”

“Is good,” the man replied. “Herr Krupke. My name is Albrecht Krupke. You and your friends are welcome here anytime.”

“Danka,” Dom replied. He hadn’t learned much from his visit to the wine shop, but he didn’t really expect to. He had obtained some excellent wine to add to his dwindling supplies and he knew the layout of the establishment. He could tell from the clerk’s expression that he knew more about the owners than he let on. There was another secret there to be dug out unearth? discover?.*Paragraph* As he left the shop comma Gunter was waiting edoutside for him.“I would like to walk,” Dom stated informed him. “It’s such a beautiful day and I can use the exercise. Please go in and pick up a small purchase I just made, and be careful with it, they are very expensive wines.”

As he strolled down the street towards the Isar, his cell phone rang. The voice on the other end was not a happy one. no new paragraph here

“Brother Contadino has advised me that you and he are not working together,” the voice said. “Did he not explain to you that his presence was imperative?”

“”I’m still trying to think of a way to bring him into the picture period” Dom replied, sweat suddenly breaking broke out on his forehead. “I can’t go too fast or the others will become suspicious of my motives.”

“He will put himself into the picture,” the voice whispered. “As your American euphemism so eloquently implies.”

“Yes comma- capitalize Eminence. your eminence.” Dom replied, as the line suddenly the line clicked off.*Paragraph* He had misjudged the importance of Brother Contadino. Obviously his benefactor held the man in very high esteem to demand he be inserted into the hunt at such a dangerous phase. “What was Contadino to the Cardinal? Better yet, what was Contadino to him?” no new paragraph here because it is his thoughts continuing. I would put the thoughts in italics.

Another puzzle to unravel?


Wonderful description of the wine! That was nicely done.

Until the next chapter,

Shalisse

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This is an interesting piece that celebrates the cycle that a tree experiences in a year. There was one line that didn't flow as well as the others. That was...and the children venture less far from their hearth. I think it is the less far that threw me off.

The strongest aspect of this poem is its vivid imagery. You have used color, sight sound, similes, all very well.

Regards,
Ms. J
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Part 20

April 26, 2012 – Hotel Altez Zollhaus - Bad Tölz



Mueller threw his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back into the plush chair. He Running ran his hand across his stubble cut hair comma he then glanced at the slim wimpy looking man sitting across from him. “Tell me why I need you?” he asked. “I have more associates on their way here at this moment who will do anything I want at the mere mention of the word gold. Fleischer already has the American and woman under observation and my team will quickly find and deal with the others.”


“Nothing’s more valuable than gold, except more of it,” Mueller spat back.*Paragraph* Schäfer could tell that he was unaccustomed to working as a team member.{c:no new paragraph}

“The second note stated; "On March 13, 1946, The miracle breakthrough occurred. The Reich will be saved and reborn. After that comma I only received one note from Eva in 1948 that said for me to look in the Argentinean City of Altavista in a grave marked Hanna Reitsch. I have also been deceitful commadear family. Dolf and Eva had a daughter and named her Klara Wolff comma after his mother,” Schäfer continued. “The note also said that a treasure far greater than all the gold in the world waited there and the drawing of an unfamiliar symbol was interposed on the right bottom of the note.” When you're quoting from the letter, I would use italics to set that apart.



“And just what was that?” If Mueller is such a Nazi fanatic, perhaps he would know this already?

“In 1945, a mysterious Nazi secret weapons project code-named italics"The Bell" was taken from its underground bunker in lower Silesia, along with all its project documentation and a four-star SS general named SS Obergruppenführer Hans Kammler,” Schäfer stated. “On board a massive six-engine Junkers 390 ultra-long range aircraft, "The Bell," Kammler, and all project records disappeared completely, along with the gigantic aircraft. It is thought to have flown to America or Argentina. Just before the Junkers’ escape the SS murdered most of the scientists and technicians involved with the project. The secret weapon, according to one German Nobel prize-winning physicist, was given a classification of "decisive for the war," a security classification higher than any other secret weapons project in the Third Reich, including its atomic bomb. What was "The Bell"? What new physics might the Nazis have discovered with it? How far did the Nazis go after the war to protect the advanced technology that it represented? This may lead us to that secret. And Kammler, of all the high-ranking Nazis indicted and tried at Nuremberg, either posthumously or in absentia, was never formally indicted, much less brought to trial. He is altogether missing from the docket, just simply missing. No formal search was ever made for him that I know of.”

“Why haven’t we heard anything about this?” Mueller asked. defensively puffed out his chest “It’s been 65 years since the end of the war. Everyone involved in that secret has to be dead by now. Obviously comma the Bell didn’t help win the war.” Oo! Maybe when Schafer first brings it up Mueller could say something like, "I've never heard of that before, and I'm know a thing or two about the SS. ...something like that.



“It may be more complicated than that,” Schäfer mused. already used mused “They may be waiting for the right opportunity or even the right person to come forward.”



Mueller became more interested 's interest sparked at the mention of a new Reich. “How do you know all this?” He asked in a disdainful voice. “You’re a nobody in the Ministry of Culture.”

“In The Ministry of Culture I may be a nobody, but that is the way I want it to appear,” Schäfer replied. “In secret I am the leader of a powerful group dedicated to the resurgence of the Fourth Reich and reinstatement of the fatherland. That group is called the Karotechia. The original Karotechia was part of the SS Ahnenerbe, Himmler's master plan for the systematic creation of a "Germanic" culture that would replace Christianity in the Greater Germany to exist after the war, a kind of SS-religion that would form the basis of the new world order. We seek to restore the pure Aryan race to its rightful place in history.”

“You’re full of little surprises,’ Mueller said with a smile grinned. “Secret weapons, secret societies, and so much more. Unfortunately, my goals do coincide with yours. I am sick and tired of the men and women who pretend to be Germans today. They are nothing but lackeys for the British and Americans. They’re weak, condescending, and I am ashamed to call them Germans.”

“Your shame is my shame,” Schäfer beamed. “My grandfather was Ernst Schäfer, who commanded the Institute for Inner Asian Research and was eventually responsible for all scientific projects within the Ahnenerbe. He joined the Nazi Party after Hitler's rise to power in 1933, as well as the SS, rising to the rank of Sturmbannführer (major) Just a thought, you could have a list of terms like this one in the appendix so explaining it in the narration or dialog isn't a distraction. in 1942.”

“I salute you little man, period” Mueller stated, raising rose his beefy hand in a mock salute. “But unless we find that gold before they do, we will not be able to go in search of Hitler’s ghost. It takes a considerable amount of money to travel around the world and outfit an expedition.”

“My acquaintances in the Karotechia are willing to finance such a venture,” Schäfer replied You don't always have to say said, or replied or stated. The action following it is enough to let us know who is saying it or how they are saying it. with a grin. “In fact, several of them are on their way here as we speak to reinforce our efforts. They may not be combat men such as you have but they are very accomplished gentlemen.”

Mueller started to respond but a knock was heard at the door. passive voice He looked at Schäfer suspiciously then realized it could be more of his own manpower showing up. He signaled for Schäfer to answer the door as he pulled his PPK/S and moved to the bathroom.

“Herr Schafer des guten spae? morgens, der wein ist heute gut” the man at the door said as Schäfer slowly opened the door.

“Good morning to you too, Herr Szekler,” Schäfer replied. “Yes, the wine is good.” He motioned for Szekler to join him, noticing that Mueller had crawled from his hiding place and resumed his position by the window. “I would like to introduce Herr Vlad Szekler,” he continued. “Herr Szekler, this is Herr Mueller.”

Mueller saw a short elderly man with white hair, thick glasses, a balding pate and carrying about a hundred extra pounds on his small frame. He was being saddled passive voice with old, overweight and out of shape men and he didn’t like it. The man’s eyes were his only redeeming feature, they were crystal blue and bright with intelligence. He grunted a welcome and turned back to the window.

“Herr Szekler is a prominent historian,” Schäfer continued, mindful of Mueller’s discourtesy. “Or I should say Doctor Szekler. He is a Doctor of ancient history in Budapest. He also holds several Masters Degrees in German History and is one of the preeminent academics on the history of National Socialism.”

“Just do your job, whatever the hell that is, and keep out of my way,” Meller remarked. gruffed? growled? “I suppose he’s in for a cut of the prize?”

“Without him comma we may not win the prize,” Schäfer replied, glancing at the short balding man. “The secret to both of our quests lies in history and I am no historian. I also have several other specialists coming on board with unique knowledge we may have need of.”


Mueller suddenly spotted something from the window comma and rushed to the door. comma He opened it commaand ran from the room without saying a word.



“He’s no gentleman, If you go with an action, you need to have a period here.” Schäfer replied rolled his eyes? sighed?. “But he is necessary for the success of our mission right now. He can be replaced very quickly if the need arises.”

“You are correct,” Dr. Szekler replied, with a wave ed of his hand. “Our personal Kommando Spezialkraefte have been doing nothing but training for years and it’s time they earned their keep.”

I like that you revealed the background info in the dialog instead of narration. I have a hard time switching off the historian and tend to have too much narration, telling rather than showing. Good job with this chapter.

Cheers,
Ms. J
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Review of When It Rains  
Review by Ms. J
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Rated: E | (5.0)
One suggestion I have would be to vary the sentence structure. Many of your sentence start with a subject/verb pattern. The Ugg in boots should probably be capitalized.

You have done a wonderful job with description. I love the imagery you have create in this piece. Nicely done. I also like how you tie in the symbol of rain. Often times rain is used to show sadness or death, but you've done it in a way that isn't cheesy or overly Hollywood. This is a wonderful piece. Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
Ms. J
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Review of A New Beginning  
Review by Ms. J
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
In this piece, your theme comes through nice and clear. You've done a good job creating these images of the destruction that has happened. If you wanted, you could step it up and add more of the senses. i really like your choice to make the words New Beginning with capitals. That adds to the overall effect of the poem.

On another note, if you haven't done so already, you may want to check out the First People's forum. If you're not already a member, I think you would enjoy it.

Regards,
Ms.J
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Part 19

April 26, 2012 – Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare - Bad Tölz



Early the next morning they got back on the autobahn to Munich then took cross-country route 472 to Bad Tölz. They had made reservations for the Resort Hotel Jodquellenhof Alpamare on Ludwigstraße in Bad Tölz the night before. The famous Alpamare water park and the Endless Peak indoor surfing pool was within easy walking distance of the hotel and Weinhaus Höckh was just up the road.

Monday had spent a lot of time in the scenic Bavarian town when stationed near with the Special Forces. The little village had once been occupied by the Romans or the Romanized Celts. The 14th century saw Tölz become a crossroads for the salt and lumber traffic on the Isar River. In 1453 comma the marketstreet If that is the proper name of the street, it needs to be capitalized., church, and castle were destroyed by fire. Duke Albrecht III enabled the city to rebuild in stone. He also built a palace, which stood until 1770 when it fell into disrepair and was eventually undermined by the Ellbach. passive voice

The Thirty Years’ War (1618 – 1648) brought plague and destruction to the beautiful village. During the War for Spanish Succession comm{[x}things circumstances became better with trade in lime and wood products and other items. In the middle of the 19th century, Tölz changed directions with the discovery of natural springs.

The town began to focus on the healing properties of these springs and became a cure and spa town. In 1899 comma it became known as Bad Tölz, as the German word for bath is bad. Bad Tölz is changed from past to present tense here. also well known for its medieval atmosphere and spectacular views of the Alps. It has a population of around 17,800 and is located about one hour south of Munich in the foothills of the Bavarian Alps. The local landscape is marked by mountains, lakes, green meadows, dense forests and numerous romantic little villages.

As soon as they entered the foyer lobby Henri rolled his eyes at Monday indicating that he had already spotted one or more suspicious characters. On the way to the elevator comma he voiced his suspicions. “There was a man sitting at a table off the lobby that I am well acquainted with,” he said. “He was an instructor at the Kommando Spezialkraefte (German Special Forces) school a few years back. He was forcibly retired as an Unteroffizier (Senior Sergeant). We could not get enough evidence on him to give him a dishonorable discharge comma but rather than press his luck comma he accepted retirement. His name is Dieter Fleischer and he is a sadist, a thief, and I personally believe a rapist and extortionist. His presence here cannot be coincidence. He used to run with another Senior Sergeant named Helmut Mueller. We did successfully get rid of Mueller with a dishonorable discharge. If he’s working with Mueller comma then we have some very tough and well trained men to deal with.”



“Since I checked in separately comma I doubt they know my status,” Dominic said. “It may be best if I made a dry run to the wine house first to get a layout of the place and take notice of potential clues. I am well known as a connoisseur of wine comma at any rate comma and my being in a wine house would have no ulterior meaning.”

“Perhaps you and Bones can meet there,” Monday answered. “He has an eye for detail and I doubt they have identified any of the Team yet.’ "

Dominic looked around the room for Bones to identify himself since he had just recently met the Team and was unfamiliar with their faces. Bones gave him a wide grin and nodded his burly head. “Which reminds me,” Dominic stated. “I managed to get hold of my contact in the Ministry of Culture this morning when I first got here. Bruno Schäfer is legitimate but very low on the authority rung of the government ladder. I obtained clarification on the status of finding Nazi gold or Nazi treasure. Since the true ownership of the majority of unrecovered Nazi treasure is in question, the Ministry does offer finder’s fees. I managed to get a solid seven percent for us should we find any bouillon or untraceable gold.”

“You can bet Schäfer’s goons are not interested in seven percent,” Henri stated. “For them comma it’s all or nothing.”


“Actually comma I’d prefer going by myself,” Dom stated. “I’m sure Bones has other things to do.

"My man Gunter Hörbiger is all I have ever needed,’ " Dom replied with a smile. “He is well acquainted with the use of weapons and has other, shall we say…beneficial training.”

“If Henri will assist me comma I would like to get on line and see if I can find any useful information on Dieter Fleischer and Helmut Mueller,” The Geek stated. “I may be able to trace hidden data on them and Schäfer and perhaps connect them with other members of the dark side. It could give us an edge on their potential team assets and capabilities.”

“I I have access to classified military personnel files,” Henri agreed. “And I can get in contact with our friend Ted Wrigley at British Intel. That Limey nut has access to information that even the CIA doesn’t have. I might even give your twin brother Huck a call.”

“Which leaves me and Bones out in the cold,” Chester said with a grin. “Reckon we’ll mosey over to that old church, the Stadtpfarrkirche, and nose around. We might even measure off the number of paces it takes us to get to that wine house. This is starting to feel like National Treasure use italics for the movie title. in Germany.”

Other than those suggestions above, just pay attention to the stated and replied. I'm not liking this Dom character. He's irritating me because he's two faced. *Smile*

Ms. J

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Review of HOME  
Review by Ms. J
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem really stuck a chord with me. I too grew up in the mountains, but now live in the Midwest. I really miss the mountains and go back once a year to replenish something inside of me. My favorite line is:
In my spirit I have returned home,

I really liked the way you described the experience. This is a wonderful piece. Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
Ms. J
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Review of Reticent Speech  
Review by Ms. J
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good piece. I like that you show the emotion of love through actions. There was one line that I felt didn't flow as well as the others. That was the line...A cherished hug I opened arms to . Perhaps if you switch to start with I opened my arms...

I firmly believe that actions speak louder than words, so I especially enjoyed the theme.

Regards,
Ms. J
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Part 18

April 25, 2012 – Berchtesgaden - Treff Alpenhotel Kronprinz


“I don’t like the looks of that Brother… what’s his name,” Chester said with a smirk smirked. “He’s got fish eyes.comma Reminds me of a dead trout.”




“We also have no hard proof that it was actually Schäfer who hired the hit man,” Monday stated. “He may still be in for his cut of the finder’s fee. Now that he knows that Daria and me I are not alone in this hunt, he either settles for his cut or brings in more muscle of his own. Considering the second note, my bet is on more muscle.”




Monday held his snifter in salute to old friendship and good cognac. When he finished the harsh liquor comma he glanced at Chester and Henri with a raised eyebrow noting a sign of agreement. “I prefer the Camus,” he stated, glancing at the empty snifter.*Paragraph* Dominic gave him a dirty look. “You always did have the taste of a barbarian,’ " he muttered with a look of pity on his face.

“You indicated that you were on vacation?” Monday asked.

“Holiday,” Dominic replied. “In Europe we call it holiday, not vacation.”

“Whatever,” Monday stated. “I have known you for a long time Dom,” he continued. “I know that we have often depended on each other and backed each other when others found it inconvenient to do so. Frauen Is that the right word?Wolff presented me with a problem that has since blossomed into a full blown perfect storm. We would like to have your help in solving it commabut before I explain I must caution you that it may be time consuming and dangerous.”

Dominic placed his cognac snifter on the coffee table and gave his full attention to Monday. Nodding his head in a positive reply he said; comma “Go ahead.”

Over the next fifteen minutes Monday filled him in on the hunt, starting from the time that Daria had asked him to help her rebury her alleged grandmother. As he finished comma he asked Dominic if he was interested in becoming a full partner in the search.



“I knew we could count on you Dom,” Monday smiled, pouring himself another shot of cognac even though he wasn’t particularly fond of the stuff.*Paragraph* As he sat his empty snifter on the side table Daria entered the room fresh and casually dressed in a fashionable red skirt with a white and blue matching blouse.

“You look lovely frauen,” Dominic stated, standing as she entered the room.

“Danka,” Daria replied with a slight blush, her eyes traveling to Monday who had also stood as she entered. She noticed that he nodded his head in a positive manner noting that Dominic had been successfully recruited in the search. “You are going to help us with the clues Signore Prestano?”


“The original was taken comma but I scanned it into my laptop computer,” Daria replied. “Luck would have it my laptop was here in Monday’s room and not at my apartment.”


Overuse of said. replied, and stated. I didn't mark them all because I figured you could look at that in your revisions. Never trust a man named Dom! *Smile* Another good chapter!

Ms. J

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