The Rubbish Realm

Chapter 7

Fred stared into the looming abyss. It seemed to glare right back at him. Yep, that sure isn't normal, he thought to himself. No wonder they sent me such a desperate email last night, they wanted to get rid of me.
He pulled a coin out of his pocket to see how far it would fall, flicking it off of his thumb. It spiraled towards the hole - and then he lost it as it caught the sun. What a waste of a perfectly good quarter, he thought, biting his lip. He took out another one and flicked it towards the edge... and again it caught the light and, as he flinched, disappeared. Annoyed, Fred glared at the sun for making him lose two pretty good quarters before thinking better of it. Glaring at the sun isn't the smartest of ideas.
He sighed. Flicking coins was rather boring compared to what he could be doing. The gleaming white helicopter seemed to beckon to him to fly it down into the gaping maw... but no, not yet. He had to examine the hole 'thoroughly' first.
First, for depth. It'll have to be an estimate, he thought to himself, pulling out the long rope he had on him for this purpose and tossing most of it over the side... but an extremely strong wind carried it straight sideways, not letting it fall at all. Well, that explains the quarters... He pulled the rope back, going for a weight to tie onto the bottom. My waterbottle! ...no, that isn't the smartest of ideas. Rummaging around in his pack, he found a lead paperweight (where did that come from?) and tied it onto the bottom of the rope. Letting go again - once again, the wind seemed to ignore the weight, and it took a heavy grip to keep from losing the rope to the gusts. What in the world is going on?
He reeled it back in. That rope's valuable! He figured it was probably a good idea to sit down and recollect himself, make sure he wasn't hallucinating or something. At the very least, something was very wrong. Maybe I'm dehydrated? He nearly swigged the whole container before reminding himself he might want some later. I had been thirsty...
Annoyed with the paperweight as it hadn't worked earlier, he hurled it into the abyss for fun - but the sun seemed to glint off of it as well as it simply disappeared. "Castor and Pollux!" he sweared, restraining himself from saying anything nasty. Well, if the sun isn't going to cooperate, I suppose I need something that won't glint. Looking around, it wasn't very hard to find a convenient tree. Picking up some sticks from the base, he tossed one in, expecting it to fall, spiraling, into the abyss. It did not. Rather than gaining momentum and plummeting, it fluttered back onto the ground next to him. Fuming, he stomped on it, crackling the stick beneath his sleek tennis shoes, before finding himself again. One, two, three... a whisper of wind blew by him, catching some of his light hair in its way along... four, five, six, seven... the sun moved back behind a cloud, veiling the world in shadow... eight, nine ten. Breathing deeply, he had himself back under control. Noting that the sun was no longer out, he took out a quarter as he had done before and flicked it into the abyss - but lost sight of it again, a flicker of movement in the corner of his eye distracting him long enough to lose sight of the small coin. Resisting the temptation to screech, he looked back again at the gleaming helicopter, never been used before. What if I threw the helicopter in?
His musing was interrupted by a pang of hunger, reminding him of priorities - lunch. ...or helicopter?
It continued to taunt him while he bit into his bologna on rye sandwich, the gleam in his eye when he looked at his shiny apple, the smooth Ziploc bag reminding him of the smooth helicopter exterior... hurriedly he finished, dropping the bag, core inside, into the hole (quicker than finding a garbage can), wiping his hands off on his work jeans and kicking the useless sticks off to the side. I've waited long enough.
Grinning, he pulled on the door handle - locked. Do I even have the keys? He rummaged through his briefcase, shaking it a couple of times... oh! Something shiny fell out, clinking slightly as it fell on the grass. There they are! He fiddled with the keyhole, needing a couple of tries, twisted it to the right, and finally! The door was opened and the treasure awaited.
He pulled up Google Maps (presumably GPS still worked underground) and tripped his way into the helicopter. Why do I have to be so clumsy? He turned off his phone volume so it wouldn't tell him to keep U-turning (it wasn't exactly made for helicopter travel) and slid it into the phone holder, the magnetic center catching it like the well-made device it was. He grinned.
It took off like a bird, albeit with a lurch forward when he accidentally jammed his hand on the throttle, and he steered it with a practiced hand towards the hole, gently letting it lose altitude as it neared the abyss. He glanced at the gas - yep, full, enough to take him down and back up - adjusted the seat height - he'd be using the helicopter for a while, might as well get comfortable - and turned on the seat warmer - it was getting a bit chilly - and when he looked up, he couldn't believe his eyes.
Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.
Instead of being over the hole, near a field with a few trees, he was by some mountains, freezing, and the hole seemed to be behind him. He yanked back on the throttle, the helicopter falling nearly straight down to avoid collision. Landing safely in a drift of snow, he checked Google Maps. Maple Creek, Saskatchewan. He checked his landscape on Google Maps - yup, a series of muddy hills, grass gone for the winter. He looked behind him - yep, there was the hole, as deep as ever. He pinched himself, then thought better of it - the cold was feeling enough already. He blinked a few times - yep, still there. Well, there's only one thing to be done. Pulling out his phone, he selected Contacts, then "The Lab", then "call".
A panicky voice replied immediately. "Hello? Fred? Everything all right?"
Fred couldn't resist. "Houston, we have a problem."