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Rated: E · In & Out · Other · #819237
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*Penbl* Author: Flying Fox          [Sep 22, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Horror/Scary :: Supernatural
*Penr* Details: I reworded the intro to make it more suitable for an E rating.
Foxvalley is a Supernatural/Mystery story I'm writing in which follows an FBI agent as he looks into the multiple strange disappearances of Foxvalley, Colorado.

 Foxvalley Prologue & Chapter 1  (18+)
(P.)A couple farmers come across a horrifying realization. (Ch.1) Agent Budsworth's case
#2112498 by Flying Fox

*Penbl* Author: John Yossarian          [Sep 22, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Dark :: Crime/Gangster
*Penr* Details: Hello, WDC. I'd like to polish this before contest judging beings. Grammar, thoughts, anything is helpful. 1,000 GPs thrown into the mix for reviews.
  [Short Story]

Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker  (18+)
A lonely recluse has plans for the Lily Scouts on their annual fundraising drive.
#2135362 by John Yossarian

*Penbl* Author: Poeros          [Sep 21, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Paranormal :: Mythology
*Penr* Details: I spent some time reworking the first chapter and am asking if anyone reading it would give me some/ANY feedback. Will reward handsomely for it~!

 Ghost Steps Ch 1  (E)
When your master shoos you away, a mythical monster has to keep themselves busy somehow.
#2135327 by Poeros

*Penbl* Author: Floyd Roots          [Sep 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Death :: Tribute
*Penr* Details: Please review my ode to a very misunderstood, yet essential resident of your local mausoleum.

Ode To The Phorid Fly  (18+)
Come with me now into the tomb to meet the living who dwell among the dead.
#2104364 by Floyd Roots

*Penbl* Author: Buckky          [Sep 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Arts :: Romance/Love :: Emotional
*Penr* Details: It's a new piece (: i would like to know the thoughts that went through your mind as you read and your honest opinion.

 Our art was beautiful   (13+)
you ruined me
#2135185 by Buckky

*Penbl* Author: Brent Miller          [Sep 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Comedy :: Death
*Penr* Details: How do you like the comedy? Series of events? Does it feel like a patch-work story - if so - what do you feel is missing?
  [Short Story]

All Is Well  (E)
After mining camp looses contact with outside world, insanity takes its toll.
#2134494 by Brent Miller

*Penbl* Author: Dr. J. Reese          [Sep 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Contest Entry :: Horror/Scary :: Other
*Penr* Details: I want to know if the story is in order, no errors, if everything is understood. Written for a contest. Which parts were good, any confusion?
  [Short Story]

 Infiltration  (18+)
A sickening story of a cult.
#2135093 by Dr. J. Reese

*Penbl* Author: Loreli          [Sep 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fanfiction :: Horror/Scary :: Dark
*Penr* Details: I know this is fanfiction, but I am interested in thoughts of my first draft. Especially if you are a fan of the original. I have read the canon, the book written by the creator, and am terrible at the actual games lol
  [Short Story]

Please help me  (13+)
A boy asks for help from an unexpected source. Five Nights at Freddy's Fanfiction
#2134424 by Loreli

*Penbl* Author: Jeff Meyer          [Sep 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Experience :: Nature
*Penr* Details: The crux of this story is in the second part, so this might be too much character setup. It's intentionally written with mediocre-to-poo grammar. Please offer opinions so far!

 Sunset Beach (Part I)  (13+)
Hard boys and tough girls can share a sunset, too...
#2135113 by Jeff Meyer

*Penbl* Author: willy          [Sep 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Experience :: Dark :: Other
*Penr* Details: Something different, which all the help you have to spare.

 high hopes  (13+)
Something dark - just came into head.
#2135096 by willy

*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Sep 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mythology :: Inspirational :: Community
*Penr* Details: *****************************************WORTH YOUR TIME**************

 Insert title here  (E)
Free your mind
#2105379 by Perhaps

*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Sep 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Community :: Cultural :: History
*Penr* Details: Token for your mind?

 Serpent lies...  (E)
How do you begin to explain something so reality shattering?
#2110735 by Perhaps

*Penbl* Author: Hope's Twisted Tales          [Sep 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Dark :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: This is a new adult, urban fantasy. This is the first round of revisions (of this incarnation of the story anyway), so it's not a rough draft, but it still has a ways to go. Reviews of any/all chapters are appreciated. Thanks!!

River Demon  (18+)
A woman running from her past, and a demon trying to remember hers, must save Faery.
#1930217 by Hope's Twisted Tales

*Penbl* Author: Bentley_Cain          [Sep 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: Looking for thoughts of the overall feel.

 The Bedroom  (13+)
The story of a widower home alone
#2093326 by Bentley_Cain

*Penbl* Author: TheOneGirl          [Sep 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Scientific :: Drama :: Teen
*Penr* Details: Hi Everyone! I'm in serious need of some help with this piece. I'm not sure if I'm just rambling or actually telling a story. Please let me know and BE CRITICAL! :)
  [Short Story]

 The Beginning of The End   (E)
Short story for my zine
#2134879 by TheOneGirl

*Penbl* Author: l'sea          [Sep 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Animal :: None
*Penr* Details: I found a baby bird while I was gardening one day. He has his own forever tree now. I know the last line is not original, but it seemed to work with this. Any suggestions?

Beneath the Min-a-mins  (E)
He never grew feathers, and he never flew. In this life.
#2134874 by l'sea

*Penbl* Author: srwilson          [Sep 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Supernatural :: Other
*Penr* Details: Looking for honest critical feedback.
  [Short Story]

 The Service  (13+)
A tale of hasty devotion.
#2133824 by srwilson

*Penbl* Author: PureSciFiPlus          [Sep 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Fantasy :: Drama
*Penr* Details: I'm part of the A Whole New World activity/challenge/contest. And this is the first months Short Story. It's also the first part of my Final Project. Any advice or comments to make it better is what I'm looking for.
  [Short Story]

 Planet Creation - Unstable Conditions  (18+)
Part one of a six-part story. This one involves the Kausuins and the Vohn.
#2134801 by PureSciFiPlus

*Penbl* Author: TheMidget          [Sep 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Tragedy :: Psychology :: Health
*Penr* Details: I'd like to know an overall opinion in terms of plot and character and if there's any punctuation and grammar that needs to be fixed.

It would also really help if you could provide some advice on how to make the story better.
  [Short Story]

 Kleine-Levin Syndrome  (13+)
The journal of a young girl suffering from a death-like condition and her experience.
#2134728 by TheMidget

*Penbl* Author: writingtosucceed          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Spiritual :: How-To/Advice :: Writing
*Penr* Details: Please review! Seeking feedback.

 Do you want to be saved?  (E)
What to do after you're saved
#2134669 by writingtosucceed

*Penbl* Author: writingtosucceed          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Experience :: Spiritual :: How-To/Advice
*Penr* Details: Pleas review! I'm seeking feedback on my first article.

  A frustrating financial hardship  (E)
3 ways to change the situation
#2134532 by writingtosucceed

*Penbl* Author: J. Robert Kane          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Paranormal :: Folklore
*Penr* Details: Hoping for some reviews of this new story. Tried something a bit new, hoping it works...
  [Short Story]

The Vampire Hunter  (18+)
Has the Hunter finally vanquished his prey? Or does the vampire laugh last?
#2134645 by J. Robert Kane

*Penbl* Author: Apologizing Adolescent          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Environment :: Nature :: Community
*Penr* Details: Please please review

 The Lakefront  (E)
How I see the lakefront
#2111669 by Apologizing Adolescent

*Penbl* Author: Yesmrbill          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Supernatural :: Thriller/Suspense
*Penr* Details: Demon Hunter Loretta's own carelessness get her trapped in a demonic dimension, from where she will not be permitted to return, unless she becomes a demon herself.
Chapter 1 of an uncompleted work in progress. Any constructive suggestions are welcomed.

Beelzebubia  (18+)
Woman trapped in Demonic Dimension won't be allowed to leave, unless she becomes a demon.
#2134572 by Yesmrbill

*Penbl* Author: Jeff Meyer          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Cultural :: Death :: Philosophy
*Penr* Details: This story came to me in an instant. I captured the image and story as quickly as I could, and was somewhat surprised at the result. I am very interested in others' thoughts of the content and the writing. Thanks in advance!

The Changing Times  (18+)
Bodies on the land signal changes in the wind...
#2129787 by Jeff Meyer

*Penbl* Author: Buckky          [Sep 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Arts :: Romance/Love
*Penr* Details: I would like to know the thoughts that went through as you read my writing and I'd like to know what you thought of it(:

 He is art  (E)
to the person who made me question the definition of art
#2134570 by Buckky

*Penbl* Author: Brent Miller          [Sep 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Horror/Scary :: Dark
*Penr* Details: How do you enjoy product as is? What do YOU think the primary underlying theme is? If you wish it were different, how so?
  [Short Story]

The Fishermen  (13+)
Thief on the lam faces certain death under desert sun, until discovering secret oasis.
#2134493 by Brent Miller

*Penbl* Author: Yesmrbill          [Sep 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Teen :: Thriller/Suspense :: Supernatural
*Penr* Details: A high school girl reluctantly moves with her desperate mother to a "Vampire Town", where the living and undead have agreed to a truce. Here, the "New Girl" is told that she can "...get away with anything you want." She tries to fit in.

New Girl in "Vampire Town" High, tries to fit in with her living and undead classmates.
#2133121 by Yesmrbill

*Penbl* Author: Fifthwood          [Sep 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Action/Adventure :: Other
*Penr* Details: Any suggestions, ideas, comments, or critiques are most welcome. I give a lot of GPs.

Corporate Wars: Undercover  (18+)
John goes undercover to find the organization trying to bring down the corporations.
#2131698 by Fifthwood

*Penbl* Author: Miranduhh          [Sep 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Young Adult :: Emotional :: Personal
*Penr* Details: This is my personal favorite.

Grasp  (13+)
How I have been feeling lately.
#2094935 by Miranduhh

*Penbl* Author: Agent-409          [Sep 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Sci-fi :: Other
*Penr* Details: Beginning to get into the short-story genre and really would appreciate some feedback from others! :)
  [Short Story]

Life in Drive  (ASR)
When everyone has an autopilot, who's to say what they do with them?
#2123622 by Agent-409

*Penbl* Author: Caerlynn Nash          [Sep 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): History :: Drama :: Other
*Penr* Details: Chapter 1
• Do the opening sentences grab your attention making you want to read more?
• Is the final paragraph enough of a cliff hanger to make you want more?
• Is the pacing acceptable?
• All other edits and comments are most welcome!

The Rainbow Stone  (13+)
A young monk leaves the monastery to find his past and discovers his future.
#2134058 by Caerlynn Nash

*Penbl* Author: Leif the Lucky          [Sep 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: History :: Dark
*Penr* Details: My first story on the site in 2 years! The first chapter of a longer, unfinished novella. Let me know what you think! :)

 Lord Barrington's Men - Chapter 1  (13+)
Tarrare, the grotesque 18th century glutton, embarks upon a new career as an actor.
#2134162 by Leif the Lucky

*Penbl* Author: Lady Holly          [Sep 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Young Adult :: Romance/Love :: Comedy
*Penr* Details: First chapter of a story I'm working on, any feedback about setting/character development/whether the storyline is gripping would be extremely helpful! Thank you in advance.

 His Kiss (Part One)  (13+)
“Hey! We're in here! Let us out!” Henrietta yelled.
#1774147 by Lady Holly

*Penbl* Author: Zynab          [Sep 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Writing :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Hi,
Please kindly help with feedbacks. I've edited it so much, now I just need another set of eyes.
Thankin yew

 Jack of All Trades  (E)
My Writing Journey
#2133838 by Zynab

*Penbl* Author: elizjohn          [Sep 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Contest Entry :: Experience :: Other
*Penr* Details: A little something I wrote for the Cramp using both the required prompt and hurricanes Irma and Harvey for inspiration. Any feedback is appreciated.

 Celebrating Irma  (E)
A birthday celebration.
#2134045 by elizjohn

*Penbl* Author: CJ Reddick is Wolfgang 2116925          [Sep 8, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Drama :: Paranormal :: Philosophy
*Penr* Details: Thinking of publishing, want to put this through several rounds of reviews.
  [Short Story]

 Paradox of Choice  (13+)
Which would you choose?
#2105966 by CJ Reddick is Wolfgang 2116925

*Penbl* Author: Bert Macklin, FBI          [Sep 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Western :: Fantasy :: Action/Adventure
*Penr* Details: I do like constructive criticism. It's not that I don't think you can find areas for improvement. It'll always be there and I could sure use your help!

Western, single chapter. First chapter.
  [Short Story]

 Fabled Gun ~ First Chapter  (13+)
5th Times a Charm? Hoping it's more than a middling effort, but you be the judge. Please!
#2133917 by Bert Macklin, FBI

*Penbl* Author: Antonia          [Sep 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Spiritual :: Home/Garden
*Penr* Details: Just edited, so I need fresh eyes and opinions please. Happy to recipricate helpful reviews with a review in return.

 Where I left my peace  (E)
The only place you can feel contentment.
#2045064 by Antonia

*Penbl* Author: Tam - 満月の夜          [Sep 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Sci-fi :: Young Adult
*Penr* Details: This story has undergone a great deal of editing, and I'm far too close to it to do much more. I'm hoping a second pair of eyes can help me figure out what I could do to improve the opening.

 Quest to the Core (part one)  (13+)
When robots turn against their masters, wizard Daron Flynn is obliged to help fix them.
#2110866 by Tam - 満月の夜

*Penbl* Author: lillyp2016          [Sep 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Tragedy :: Dark
*Penr* Details: In memorandum for those whose lives were lost that day

#2100948 by lillyp2016

*Penbl* Author: lillyp2016          [Sep 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Environment :: Other
*Penr* Details: Just came up with it this morning during a conversation with my daughter.

My muse, my daughter Anna-Leigh. We are in the process of preparing for Mother Nature.
#2133726 by lillyp2016

*Penbl* Author: sereading          [Sep 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Personal :: Emotional :: Other
*Penr* Details: Short poem. Simple, easy read- but hopefully with some depth to it. Any and all opinions are greatly appreciated. 400 gift points per thoughtful review.

 On the wearing of clothes  (E)
A short poem which, as the title implies, is about wearing clothes
#2133686 by sereading

*Penbl* Author: srwilson          [Sep 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: Hoping for reviews for this tale of terror.
  [Short Story]

 Greenberg Tower  (18+)
An office worker has a terrifying experience at a newly built skyscraper in New York.
#2133208 by srwilson

*Penbl* Author: little red pen          [Sep 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Nature :: None
*Penr* Details: I haven't got a review since ages, I hoped this would help...

 A forest in my eye  (E)
Read and find out....
#2133411 by little red pen

*Penbl* Author: lucretius          [Sep 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Drama :: Supernatural
*Penr* Details: Another "37 Stories in 37 Days" short-short I'm looking for some honest feedback about.
  [Short Story]

 The Snooze Zone (Song of Sleep and Ice)  (13+)
In the early hours between being awake and sleep, winter is coming. Can Toddrick stop it?
#2133599 by lucretius

*Penbl* Author: S.z.kamoonpuri          [Sep 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Animal :: Dark :: Other
*Penr* Details: The lost and found of the fauna

The fauna's lost and found   (E)
A poem to discourage animal Poachers, mentions televised case of Cecil the lion
#2133084 by S.z.kamoonpuri

*Penbl* Author: JMRobison          [Sep 4, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Young Adult :: Other
*Penr* Details: This is the first chapter to my gaslamp fantasy based on Victorian Era England. Would love an honest pair of eyes to look it over and provide any and all feedback.

The Last Wizard  (E)
The 1st chapter to my gaslamp fantasy
#2133589 by JMRobison

*Penbl* Author: sereading          [Sep 4, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Personal :: Other
*Penr* Details: Looking for helpful criticism/ seeing if I have progressed in my ability to write poetry. Any thoughts are appreciated : )

 Mission Statement  (13+)
Self reflection in free verse
#2133586 by sereading

*Penbl* Author: BobBaker - Pink Unicorns ROCK!          [Sep 4, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: Fantasy :: Political
*Penr* Details: Hello! This is a comedy ballad I wrote for this month's Official Contest, where we're asked to write a comedy poem. What do you think? It's rather lengthy, so can I cut anything? Is there anything I really should add? Any better phrasing? Cheers, Bob :)

Donald Trump's Guardian Angel  (18+)
Failed businessman Donald Trump receives his "call to adventure" - an epic ballad.
#2133366 by BobBaker - Pink Unicorns ROCK!

Total Displayed: 50

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