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Rated: E · In & Out · Other · #819237
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*Penbl* Author: J.L.Patton          [Mar 28, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: I am looking for any thoughts on this first chapter. FYI: this is not an erotic novel, it just has explicit scenes. Thank you in advance. :)

 Alora's Rule  (18+)
In a Magi filled world, Alora was born to the ruling caste, the Elder. This is her journey
#2116704 by J.L.Patton

*Penbl* Author: Bob Baker - PFU! 4 days to go!          [Mar 28, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Crime/Gangster :: Detective :: Contest Entry
*Penr* Details: A crime story with a twist. Please let me know if anything sounds un-American (since I'm British and sometimes use inapropriate phrases etc). Also, please let me know if anything is confusing, a mistake, or otherwise rubbish! Thank you! Mwah! Bob :D
  [Short Story]

Malaco Malone  (18+)
A young girl is abducted, and Detective John MacDonald gets the case - for Distorted Minds
#2116501 by Bob Baker - PFU! 4 days to go!

*Penbl* Author: Bert Macklin, FBI          [Mar 28, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Western :: Drama :: Drama
*Penr* Details: Chapter 3 - Westerns aren't so bad! I'd love some feedback on this. I'm not good at revising and could sure use your help. Yeah, you! Yep, your help. I'm talking to you!

I would love a critical eye and Autoreward is set at 2K or so.
  [Short Story]

 Fabled Gun - Chapter 3  (13+)
Ch 3 - No revisions yet but I'd still love help spotting issues, glaring plotholes, etc.
#2116429 by Bert Macklin, FBI

*Penbl* Author: Bruce.          [Mar 27, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Work in progress.

 Prequel to Love In Cheshire. Chapter 3.  (18+)
Tommy's friend Badger comes on the scene. Retro fiction. Work in progress.
#2113952 by Bruce.

*Penbl* Author: slowmotionsunset          [Mar 27, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Satire :: Dark :: Animal
*Penr* Details: New poem! Please review.

 The March  (13+)
A (kind of) march of the penguins.
#2116694 by slowmotionsunset

*Penbl* Author: Miranduhh          [Mar 27, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Personal :: Writing :: Young Adult
*Penr* Details: I just threw this one together but would love to know what I could possibly add or take away from this? Thank you so much for taking the time to read!

 Missing  (13+)
No, I am not crying for help. Yes, I'd love feedback on how to improve this piece.
#2116592 by Miranduhh

*Penbl* Author: bermanrl          [Mar 27, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Horror/Scary :: Fantasy
*Penr* Details: I am most interested in blending the erotic with horror. Any ideas to enhance the way(s) I am doing it will be appreciated.

 The Sirens Song  (GC)
Have you ever contemplated why you would even want a muse?
#2116678 by bermanrl

*Penbl* Author: WakeUpAndLive~ Spring tide ★          [Mar 26, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Opinion :: Writing :: Personal
*Penr* Details: One short column per day for a hundred days. I'm interested in overall reviews.

Stretching before and after  (18+)
~ Clustering Columns
#2115839 by WakeUpAndLive~ Spring tide ★

*Penbl* Author: Bruce.          [Mar 26, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Work in progress.

 Prequel to Love In Cheshire. Chapter 2.  (18+)
Kenny returns from National Service and takes an interest in Judy. Retro fiction.
#2113679 by Bruce.

*Penbl* Author: Caleb Rose          [Mar 25, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: I have found my new muse, and this is a poem for her. I would love feedback on flow and just general thoughts on the poem itself. I know what I am trying to say, but I am curious if I was successful at conveying my message so what do you think it is?

 Silhouette of the Mind  (E)
A poem for my Muse
#2116459 by Caleb Rose

*Penbl* Author: Redlive122          [Mar 25, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Detective :: Crime/Gangster :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: This is my first ever finished story, so I'd love some feedback. I'd like to know what you liked most about the story and what you hated most. And please add any grammar/spelling mistakes you find in your review/email me so I can fix them. Thank you.
  [Short Story]

A Shot in the Dark.  (18+)
A "tour" in an open house goes horribly wrong.
#2116424 by Redlive122

*Penbl* Author: lezismore-author          [Mar 25, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nature :: Philosophy :: Other
*Penr* Details: Just wanted to get some feedback please

Gardens on Imperfection   (13+)
Tarry not in the scented gardens of imperfection
#2116054 by lezismore-author

*Penbl* Author: S.z.kamoonpuri          [Mar 25, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Occult :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: #2116280

Africa has a lot of witch doctors so this poem is about that issue
#2116280 by S.z.kamoonpuri

*Penbl* Author: Grayson Moon          [Mar 24, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Thriller/Suspense :: Young Adult :: Sci-fi
*Penr* Details: Any comments and critiques are appreciated! I am forever striving to improve my work.

Magnetic Minds: Chapter 1  (13+)
Olivia, her brother, and father are caught in an accident. Or is it an accident?
#2112086 by Grayson Moon

*Penbl* Author: Natalia L. Jones          [Mar 24, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Arts :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: I have been attempting poetry for a few months. And this was inspired by some friends for another friend on WDC. I want to know truth thoughts on my poetry both opinion and facts based on rules of poetry are appreciated! Thanks!

Shattered Pieces  (E)
A poem about pottery written about some local friends in China for a new friend in America
#2116283 by Natalia L. Jones

*Penbl* Author: Emmanuel          [Mar 24, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: War :: Military
*Penr* Details: I'm French and I'm trying to translate my French novella. I want to know if I'm heading the right way, as I never studied English (in a school), and my text can be "stiff", or just plainly wrong. So, a general feedback would be greatly appreciated :)

Space Hoboes  (E)
The life of a lost and dying military on a sand planet, recording his thoughts.
#2115688 by Emmanuel

*Penbl* Author: scardycat          [Mar 23, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): History :: Drama :: Environment
*Penr* Details: This is an extract from a long piece. I am experimenting with a new way of writing and would really appreciate your thoughts. Many thanks.

 Starlings  (E)
This is an extract from a longer piece. It is set in Britain on the eve of WW2
#2116181 by scardycat

*Penbl* Author: Maranda Russell          [Mar 22, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Nonsense :: Philosophy :: Inspirational
*Penr* Details: Started as a fun bit of nonsense, but does it really say something? Would love some feedback!

 Do Something!   (ASR)
Interesting mix of nonsense and philosophy, does it really say something?
#2116082 by Maranda Russell

*Penbl* Author: Timothy Sam          [Mar 22, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Political :: Drama :: Other
*Penr* Details: Hi all,

Would really appreciate it if you folks take the time to read my piece. Looking for honest, constructive reviews!

A Game of Politics  (13+)
Two men share a conversation in a washroom. One's a rookie, the other's a veteran.
#2116056 by Timothy Sam

*Penbl* Author: Bob Baker - PFU! 4 days to go!          [Mar 21, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Folklore :: Dark :: Contest Entry
*Penr* Details: My short shots entry. I'd love to know what people think. Please let me know if you see anything that's difficult to understand, or any mistakes or typos. Thank you! Bob :D
  [Short Story]

The Treasure Map  (18+)
Samantha buys a "treasure map" and discovers magic behind the rainbow - for Short Shots.
#2115240 by Bob Baker - PFU! 4 days to go!

*Penbl* Author: Everett Mayhew          [Mar 21, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Death :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: New writer, trying my hand at my first short story here. Its a rough draft, and any advice or notes would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
  [Short Story]

 Short story continued  (E)
Continuation from my last post. Fixed some errors, and added a few paragraphs.
#2115901 by Everett Mayhew

*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Mar 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Community :: Cultural :: History
*Penr* Details: Free your mind.

 Serpent lies...  (E)
How do you begin to explain something so reality shattering?
#2110735 by Perhaps

*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Mar 20, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mythology :: Inspirational :: Community
*Penr* Details: please review

 Insert title here  (E)
Free your mind
#2105379 by Perhaps

*Penbl* Author: Thomas Joseph          [Mar 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Thriller/Suspense :: Mystery :: Horror/Scary
*Penr* Details: After coming home from work, Corey Williams' evening goes from bad to worse. Looking for honest feedback about the plot.
  [Short Story]

 Collateral Damage   (18+)
After getting home from work, Corey Williams' evening goes from bad to worse...
#2115764 by Thomas Joseph

*Penbl* Author: Penny CP          [Mar 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: Entertainment :: None
*Penr* Details: Did the essay make you laugh?

Will gladly reciprocate (in a week or less) if you would like something reviewed.

 When Life Gives You Lemons Toss Them  (13+)
A humorous look at "what-to-do" ideas when things just don't seem to be working.
#2115598 by Penny CP

*Penbl* Author: Mira          [Mar 19, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mystery :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Hi all. Looking for some feedback on a short story I have written from a writing prompt on here. Let me know your thoughts and feelings about it. Many thanks
  [Short Story]

 The Package  (ASR)
A short story written from a writing prompt on here.
#2115743 by Mira

*Penbl* Author: Mira          [Mar 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Crime/Gangster :: Romance/Love :: Mystery
*Penr* Details: Hi All. Looking for feedback on this edited version of the first chapter of my novel.

 Cricket in the park anyone?  (18+)
First chapter of my romance/crime novel.
#2114541 by Mira

*Penbl* Author: willy          [Mar 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Another bit of my nonsense for your delight.

 Fake News?  (E)
Some unlikely news items
#2115618 by willy

*Penbl* Author: lezismore-author          [Mar 18, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Paranormal :: Ghost :: Other
*Penr* Details: This is an updated version of what I posted before. Would appreciate some constructive feedback

Countdown to the Bogeyman - 1 (Updated)  (13+)
Something evil lurks in Aunt Gwendoline's Hallway.
#2102530 by lezismore-author

*Penbl* Author: beetle          [Mar 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Gay/Lesbian :: Mythology :: Religious
*Penr* Details: Please, I need critiquing on the characterization, pacing and plot, details and descriptions. Pretty much everything. I want to polish this piece so it's publishable. If it needs overhauling, or just some tinkering, I can take it all on the chin. I hope.
  [Short Story]

The End  (18+)
The Host needs Travis Keane—needs his powers. For the prompts "fire" and "expelled."
#2114841 by beetle

*Penbl* Author: Apologizing Adolescent          [Mar 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Relationship :: Other
*Penr* Details: Just a little poem I wrote one morning.

 Coffee Cup  (E)
I got this from my coffee cup
#2115216 by Apologizing Adolescent

*Penbl* Author: BunnyXBunny          [Mar 17, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Health :: Psychology
*Penr* Details: Another post. Feedback welcome.

 Half Way To Wonderland  (13+)
More words of reflection.
#2115507 by BunnyXBunny

*Penbl* Author: SoldierBoy          [Mar 16, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Cultural :: Environment :: Community
*Penr* Details: Please let me know what you think of my poem about Standing Rock both form and content.

Thank you.
you'll get 1875 points for a review

 Asibikaashi- at Standing Rock  (E)
I wrote this some weeks ago but lost it - today it suddenly re-appeared
#2114655 by SoldierBoy

*Penbl* Author: Maranda Russell          [Mar 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Relationship :: Philosophy
*Penr* Details: Been a while since I posted :) Started off with a prompt to inspire me. Would love some feedback.

 Thought-Provoking  (E)
A short poem written about the prompt "a thought-provoking question". Love some feedback!
#2115405 by Maranda Russell

*Penbl* Author: JazzFeathers          [Mar 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: History :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: Hi everyone. I'd like some help with my novella blurb. It's a historical fantasy. Any of you fancy to give it a read?

 Give in to the Feeling blurb  (E)
I need some help with my novella blurb
#2115391 by JazzFeathers

*Penbl* Author: Lyn          [Mar 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Adult :: Death :: Dark
*Penr* Details: I'm preparing this for writing contest off site. Please provide feedback. Thank you

  [Short Story]

 Death and I  (18+)
A dying woman meets death
#2115377 by Lyn

*Penbl* Author: ParadoX          [Mar 15, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Entertainment :: Other
*Penr* Details: I tweaked this recently and I need some opinions on how the story flows. Any advice is helpful, though!
  [Short Story]

Unkind Weather  (E)
A man stumbles into an unfamiliar world
#2111646 by ParadoX

*Penbl* Author: Milo Prevo          [Mar 14, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Fantasy :: Other
*Penr* Details: The second chapter of Unwanted adventure

 UA Chapter 2 Call to arms   (13+)
Gayle is a sorcerer caught in a war between two kingdoms while trying to find acceptance.
#2115259 by Milo Prevo

*Penbl* Author: Tam - 月満ちて          [Mar 13, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Action/Adventure :: Young Adult
*Penr* Details: Since overhauling the plot and world, I'm looking for reviews of the entire novel. I am willing to review in exchange for anyone who does so.

Descendants of Rose  (13+)
Two mercenaries, a bard, a warlock, and a couple of ancient memories of an immortal lord.
#2025126 by Tam - 月満ちて

*Penbl* Author: Northern Goddess          [Mar 12, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: The Date

Line count: 79

The Date  (13+)
Past, present, furture
#2110914 by Northern Goddess

*Penbl* Author: Angus          [Mar 11, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Contest Entry :: Paranormal :: Comedy
*Penr* Details: A 298 word story. Wutchathink?
  [Short Story]

 Richard's Salvation  (E)
A brief account of a man with no hope...
#2110830 by Angus

*Penbl* Author: Boneash          [Mar 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you in advance.
  [Short Story]

 Black Rose  (18+)
Something i wrote long time ago.Warning it gets bad at the end.
#2114775 by Boneash

*Penbl* Author: PureSciFiPlus - March Madness          [Mar 10, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mystery :: Thriller/Suspense :: Drama
*Penr* Details: Looking for errors in grammar, especially punctuation, misspelled words or missing words. I don't think I made any. Please prove me right. Reach review, good or bad, is worth 150 GPs.
  [Short Story]

 Cheating Husband  (18+)
What you see isn't always the truth. Looks are deceiving. This is one of those times.
#2114733 by PureSciFiPlus - March Madness

*Penbl* Author: Whitemorn          [Mar 9, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Activity :: Nature
*Penr* Details: A short, classically styled story poem. A new technique for me so I would appreciate your thoughts. ;) GP's offered.

With Passion and Haste  (13+)
A story poem of two boys and a tree.
#2114685 by Whitemorn

*Penbl* Author: Javed_Hayat          [Mar 8, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): War :: Dark :: Death
*Penr* Details: Looking forward to some feedback...

A Strange and Mysterious War Zone  (E)
A Flash Fiction
#2114506 by Javed_Hayat

*Penbl* Author: IronWriter38          [Mar 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Satire :: Personal
*Penr* Details: Hello to those reviewing this. I have to say it is a work in progress and it has no title yet. I stopped at a point where I wanted to see if it should continue. okay, critique away!!! -Thank you

 BLACKOUT  (18+)
This is the beginning of a story, of a very angry and VERY tortured soul....
#2114443 by IronWriter38

*Penbl* Author: Poeros          [Mar 7, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Supernatural :: Thriller/Suspense
*Penr* Details: I redid my prologue and would kindly like another set of eyes on it to gauge impressions others get. Will rewards happily with GP :)

 Ghost Prologue (draft)  (13+)
When and what do terrors of the night eat when man protects themselves so well?
#2114478 by Poeros

*Penbl* Author: Roche          [Mar 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Action/Adventure :: Action/Adventure
*Penr* Details: This is a story I've wanted to type for the longest time, but its still in draft form. I really want to mould something good out of it, so any constructive criticism would be wonderful!

Fox in the Center  (13+)
A fox waking up in a new world, where everyone is still the same.
#2114362 by Roche

*Penbl* Author: Kathrine Ricks          [Mar 6, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Teen :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: For this story to be good I need a new direction.The direction right now is flat and boring. It's not finished but honest reviews would me much appreciated and ideas of new directions to take this story. The idea is the strangers point of view of me.

 The girl who changed my life  (E)
This is a story that I wrote that needs a new direction. It's still not done
#2113618 by Kathrine Ricks

*Penbl* Author: S.z.kamoonpuri          [Mar 5, 2017]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Animal :: Writing.Com :: None
*Penr* Details: Pls do coment my latest poem too. Titled 'my wee special guest'

My wee special guest  (E)
For bird lovers like me.
#2113930 by S.z.kamoonpuri

Total Displayed: 50

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