An Attempt to Change Myself

I received ( in my eyes) the most hideous hair cut today.
It turned out nothing close to what I had imagined.
Did I speak up?
Did I tell my hairdresser otherwise?
Of course not.
Never do.
Thus, leaving me with something I never wanted.

Because I can't speak up.
( only in here)

The hair cut was first on the list.
Next is some snake bites.
I've already started saving up for my next tattoo.
I've died the hair.
I've started smoking.
I quit smoking.
I started and I quit again.

I've changed everything I could possibly
change on
the outside
in this moment.

Unfortunately, I still feel it