Man, I thought I was in trouble there for a minute. I must of been feeling guilty about my lottery tickets! Your writing seemed to flow well. I had no idea where you were going to end up. It was definitely unexpected! I could not help but laugh out loud! Well done sir, well done.
What we all would not give to be young again! Your poem brings this out perfectly. I love the way you have taken a childhood chant and some very deep meaning to the chant. Things did hurt a whole lot worse when we were young. Remember how you could walk across gravel back then and pay no attention to the pain? As an adult can you do this? I know I cannot. When I try, my mind is completely focused on the pain. Maybe as we grow older, we lose our resilence? Another idea from my "sticks and stones" days, I was young and carefree. I could enjoy the small things in life. That too, is harder to do these days than back then.
Sunflowers are my favorite! You did a wonderful job describing the flowers relationship with the sun. The only thing I see that is incorrect - I think? Is humankind supposed to be capitalized or should their be a period after the word inspire?
I think it would make a great country song. You can almost hear the beat. I thought the 3rd paragraph was not flowing until I was at the end of it and you tied that up quite nicely!
"Everywhere I turn, there is another sign of you." (Caught in my darkness, just caught within my darness) I could feel your words throughtout but the words above hit home for me. A darkness I know all to well.
I especially liked the ending. To me, it is as if nothing changes.
Good writing!
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Man, I thought I was in trouble there for a minute. I must of been feeling guilty about my lottery tickets! Your writing seemed to flow well. I had no idea where you were going to end up. It was definitely unexpected! I could not help but laugh out loud! Well done sir, well done.