Peacemaker

Free-form poetry about a boy I used to know, the first boy I truly fell in love with.

I love you.
But I also hate you
With every ounce,
With every fiber of my being.
I want to kiss you,
Endlessly,
But I also want to run
Whenever I see you
And I'd probably slap you
And scream
If I wasn't afraid that you'd leave
Forever.
I finally got you,
Except now you're slipping away
Like sand between my fingers.
I'm not sure if you understand
How many tears I've cried over you.
I'm not even sure
If you think of me at all anymore.
It wasn't so long ago,
That night when you held me
And you told me that you wanted me too
And that you'd wait for me.
What changed?
Because now you're off
Exploring the world,
And except for those nights
Every few weeks
When you show up and tell me
"Stop, don't worry,
I'm not going anywhere,"
I'm beginning to wonder if loving you
Is really worth anything
At all.