This Isn't It

Billy and Sam fight over pets. 300-word flash

This Isn’t It

“This isn’t what it looks like,” stammered Billy Joe when he spotted Sam Isles.
“What is it that you think I think it looks like?”
“Whatever you think, this ain’t it.”

Sam sighed. “Why not start by telling me what it actually is.”
“I can’t. It’s a surprise…”
Sam stepped closer and looked down the hole. “Well, for starters, it looks like a hole. A hole that’s filling up with water fast.”
“Oh no! Is it really? It’s not supposed to do that!” Billy exclaimed.
“Then what is it supposed to do?”
“Hold a nice sturdy post that I can cement in.”
“Hate to tell you this, but it ain’t gonna harden, the cement that is.”
“Well, I know that!”

“What was the pole gonna be for? Maybe you can move it somewhere else.”
“It’s Flip’s birthday, she’s gonna be five.”
“You’re doin’ this for a cat! Are you crazy?”
Billy looked highly indignant. “Who else would I do it for? Flip’s my best friend and she needs some entertainment.
“What are you putting on the pole?
“A bird house, of course. Right here will be perfect for Flip to birdwatch from her sling bed on the window ledge.”

“You spoil that mangy thing, Billy.”
“And your problem with that is? Come on, spit it out, you resent Flip, because I used to spend all my time with you, doin’ fool things.
“That ain’t it. It’s just a cat!” Billy picked up his shovel and stood menacing in front of Sam.
“Go on, git! Pets are people too, sometimes even more so than actual people. It you got something against cats, then you’re no friend of mine!”
“I just think dogs is better!” Sam tried to explain.
“Git,” Billy said louder and shook the shovel at Sam.