Blue-green Eyes

Social anxiety

It’s that feeling you get when you’ve forgotten something
but you don't know what
so you stand there staring like an idiot

but he's staring back
with those blue-green eyes–quick–
he sees you–you need to act,
what did you forget now?
Your keys?
Your wallet?
fuck

you stand there all night stuck in that loop
that loop that consumes you and him, and you
stand there still, watching you watching him
hating you, waiting for you

you forget when the bar light flickers
but the pendulum brings you back to his blue-green–
fuck
he's still looking
What did you forget??
Your eyes?
Your good side?
Your makeup?
He’s made up his mind about you:
weird, unfit, unqualified for a world like this—

ha!

he smiled at you
you know I’m right
you're the lefty
and he's going to leave you,
no one’ll ever see you,
hear you,
love you
like you love him
and his blue-green eyes–but then
he asks you again.

“You there? Haha
(fuck)
“I was just asking… if you wanna go for coffee sometime?”