A letter to my mom.

Words of sorrow, not of regret.

Dear mom,

         Time has passed since I tried to end my life, but I guess there is nothing a little bit of denial can't do. Somehow I feel like we are both happier now, we talk, we laugh and now I'm able to look you in the eyes. Right after it happened, it pained me to be with you. I remember that hug you gave me in my room as I heard and felt you crying for the first time in my life. Waiting for my dad and sister to return, we sat in silence as I tried to come up of any word other than "sorry". It was as if that night never ended, like if our hearts were sick. Everything felt fake, or at least like a blurred version of what it was . I hope your heart heals, I hope we will be able to put this curse behind us. Leave you. What kind of son would do that to his mother? Since then I have been trying to make it better for you, and I promise you that I will keep trying to do that until the day I die. I still mean this: I'm sorry mom, sorry for everything that i put you through. You are a flower that never deserved to be covered in dirt and shade. You would beat the moon in a pretty contest. I know you know that I do not regret it, and what scares us the most is that it was not because of me why it didn't work. I am sorry and maybe one day you will be able to truly forgive me.

From your son.




(Note: I did not sent this to her. Everything here is true, at least to me. Hope you "like" it)