Great stuff. The author sounds as if she is reliving a dream or is it a nightmare. She seems to have found heaven only to see it go to hell. Yet, when she wakes up, she feels as if she's angry that reality has found her. Definitely, the author has some strange thoughts in her head, though I am glad she has decided to share them with us.
A nice, heartfelt poem that reveals one of life's true ironies -- that we often love and hate with equal vigor towards the same person. The author clearly is experiencing an emotional tug-of-war that is very honest, though the solution of sitting on the fence and looking at both sides seems to be putting off the inevitable. The reader must wonder if there will ever be a solution or will it be one of those situations that ends up on the news and saddens us.
Wow, this story is fantastic. Descriptive, haunting, chilling, foreboding. It has all the elements necessary for a suspenseful piece of Gothic. The bright and accusing eyes of the lead character's wife is all the more terrible because she comes back as she once was -- beautiful and disloyal.
It's easy to sympathize for the old man who has obviously tortured himself for years for his atrocious crime. The author builds up his anxiety, tension and terror by forcing him to slowly realize who the woman is, thus making him remember his crime. The way the man observes his neighbors is a nicely added touch as it shows him living his life through others, imagining himself as something he is clearly not.
The melody the woman's ghost sings is very memorable and reminded me of those old British ghost stories, like the classic "The Uninvited," set in foggy highlands and moors. It leaves a lasting impression.
The writer obviously has great talent for Gothic horror, as well as a deft touch for romance. This story is highly recommended and I hope it will show up in professional publications.
Smartly written, but I can't help feeling that the whole premise is a waste of time. Amelie sounds like a smart girl, who has survived for five years (though I don't know how that tin of mints made it so long). She has found food and drink and places to sleep -- no shoes though.
The story is presented as the last hope ever for Mankind, so it's odd to see the protagonist walk up to a woman who has participated in the worst crime of genocide ever and try to reason with her. And the explanation that it was going to happen anyway sounds a little weak. I would hope the author would explain just how a few strongmen put 17 billion people to sleep. It may be possible, say through mass drugging in water supplies, but no clear explanation is given.
Neither is it explained why Crystal seems so complacent with the discovery of Amelie. Instead of grilling her about any other possible non-servant survivors, she sends her servant away and talks to Amelie alone.
Style-wise, the story is tightly scripted and reads well. The story moves along smoothly, though the ending, which seems meant as a twist, is not very convincing. The whole tone of the conversation is really disappointing and just so depressing.
I think maybe if Amelie's plan had been something heroic to save the world and she had been captured, it might have read better. But, just walking into the leader's grasp killed the buzz for me.
Chilling and gripping at the same time. The story has all the elements going for it -- an intricate plot explained neatly in a few quick sentences; a sympathetic protagonist fearful of his circumstances yet ready for action while bearing an impossibly emotional weight in the form of his incapacitated brother; a mysterious and implacable enemy that defies description, and a satisfying (and sad) ending.
I still don't know what the rift actually is, but I've come to the conclusion that it's a false haven of safety meant to lure out those who haven't gone willingly to the station. That would definitely fall into the realm of humanity -- seeking safe havens from our problems even though we don't know what's on the other side. Maybe that's how a Hitler or a system like communism can become so prevalent. Maybe that's really what the Station is.
Getting better. I still can't see how Seth and the narrator killed so many vampires with hand weapons and a bow. That part isn't made quite clear. It just seems as if the vampires are suddenly all dead, even though one of them almost fatally bites the lead character.
Hayden is presented as an interesting character and funny, too, what with Coal, the talking dog. The story moves quickly, too, but perhaps too quickly. I would guess much more background is needed on the vampire invasion. The author says that Paris and London have been taken over by vampires and then has Hayden admit that there are only seven vampires in London. That doesn't seem to be nearly enough to clamp down on a big city, no matter how few humans there might be. After all, Seth and the lead took out 30 in one fell swoop.
It will be interesting to see where this story goes.
Sums it up nicely. We do tend to live our lives by either writing it down ourselves to note our accomplishments or reading what others have written. The author speaks with clarity and nails down our obsession with immortality, not so much with living forever, but with living on forever.
Nicely written story that does, indeed, evoke wisps of H.P. Lovecraft as well as Gothic prose. The story moves along rather nicely with the letter, though there does seem to be a slight problem at the end that I'll explain momentarily.
The characters seem real and believable as do the surroundings, as evidenced by the narrator's cursing of his dwellings in the Carpathian Mountains. The description of the hospital is utterly horrid, though somewhat authentic as I have read something of those times in Eastern Europe.
A few issues I have with the story include the language. It does sound formal, but not really Victorian. The author uses an American colloquialism in the letter's third paragraph -- "sure enough" -- that is out of place. Perhaps, the author should read "The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes" to see how the writing was done in 1895. For instance, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle regularly used the words "intercourse" and "ejaculate." While, today, we think of those words perversely, in Victorian England, "intercourse" meant "conversation" and "ejaculate" meant "to exclaim."
But, the main issue with this story is the abrupt ending. We get an inkling of the narrator's predicament when he explains about sleeping inside on bruising rocks rather than outside where wolf packs might get him. Then, after following the medical expedition to the hospital and then into the mountain, with the diseased patient's warning echoing after them, the story ends about three short paragraphs later.
There's a hint of something otherworldly and, perhaps, vampire-like, but it's never expounded upon. The warning of not letting the camp fire go out isn't really menacing as the narrator explains about the packs of wolves that are numerous in the Carpathians. I really would have liked to have seen this angle explained a lot more. I just could not get the sense of dread and terror, two things desperately needed to properly mimic Lovecraft.
For example, in the opening paragraph, the narrator implies that he is sleeping inside a cave to avoid the wolves. At the end, he implies that he is actually waiting for eternal life and to be like the escaped asylum patients., not for wolves.
This confusion needs to be sorted out or explained better to truly effect Lovecraft and Gothic terror.
An interesting slice of life, more like reminiscing or explaining a time in the narrator's life than a full-blown story with beginning, middle and end.
It was honest, poignant and odd, all at the same time. It was a great reminder that life isn't black and white, but gray and that none of us truly knows what goes on in the lives (and minds) of others.
Interesting thoughts. I guess it all comes down to being yourself. I wouldn't want to be pessimistic all the time and there are good things about being that family down the streets (who knows how they act inside their house?).
Kerouac liked the "mad ones" because they were the one who most active and most emotional. For instance, how many men would like to be Jonathan Goldsmith? He's the "most interesting man in the world" from the Dos Equis beer commercials. He's admired because he gets out and does things, albeit fictional, but more active than the average beer drinker who will find himself drinking Dos Equis on the couch and not at a bar surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world.
I think the saddest part of this story is that I know people like this. I've seen some friends get hooked up with the wrong guy or get hooked on drugs and, years later, I run into them in the parking lots of gas stations, Rite-Aids or CVS stores.
The story itself sounded realistic and it was harsh and heartbreaking the way Mona reacts to seeing the woman and her child. She still has dreams, but we all know those dreams will, most likely, never be realized. She's sinking faster and faster, evidenced by her willingness to jump into a grimy old truck with an even grimier old man. Even the part about the new cellphone fits because I've seen it. I've seen down-and-out people with scraps from Goodwill somehow find the money for a cellphone when they don't have a job or roof over their heads.
It's not a good way for Mona to live and it sounds like her kids will get to see her only one way -- lying peacefully in a casket.
A sad, but realistic story presented with truthfulness and reality.
A nice treatise on Jason Reeves' song. Obviously, it meant a lot to the author. It seemed honest and heartfelt, as the paragraphs denote that the writer was having trouble typing the words as fast as the brain was forming them.
The piece could use some editing, polishing and tightening up. Especially, in the paragraph following the lyrics. That first sentence is a run-on from hell. There are other really long sentences in the piece, as well.
But, overall, it's nice to see the effect a song has on a person and the message is timely, if a bit convoluted by the wordiness.
Very interesting. I had never thought of the matador's movements as being akin to a rooster. The story was very descriptive, from the first sight of the rooster to the way the colors splashed across its chest to its mating dance. The author showed a very keen eye when he observed this.
I also liked how the narrator compared the rooster's ritual to that of the matador, but could not bring himself to see the end of that dance. It speaks of a young man's pride at not seeing the consequences of an action, just the action itself.
Creepy and chilling at the same time. Sometimes it's not good to bury memories so deep. The story was crisply written and very descriptive, especially the bachelor apartment with the kitchen table covered by empty beer cans. I also liked the way Greg obsesses over the jacket.
The description of the jacket itself is very thorough. It's rare to find the word "febrile" in a story, but it is used very ingeniously and effectively.
I normally don't like these types of stories where a cruel and sadistic killer comes back to get some type of perverted revenge. But, this one is presented well and the horror is made all too real.
This is great. The ambassador's reaction to the "Glass Breaker" was classic. Yoko Ono covering Tom Jones in German -- priceless.
I got to like the ambassador simply because of the humor. Smartly written, it was a great insight to how real diplomacy occurs. One can find such events right here on Earth, like Goldie Hawn in "Protocol."
I just hope Dylan's boss doesn't screw it up (which is also common on Earth).
Horror can be successfully blended with science fiction and fantasy simply because they all go together, no matter what some sci-fi people might think. How about the alien in "Alien"? That came about from the discovery of a fantastic but mysterious ship filled with a strange cargo.
"The Forbin Project" dealt with advanced computers and artificial intelligence and added horror as the computer became self-aware.
"The Stepford Wives," "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (1956 and 1978), "Godzilla," "King Kong," "Them," "Tarantula," "Beat From 20,000 Fathoms," "The Thing from Another World," they all involved serious elements of horror. The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy wouldn't have been any good without the horror of Sauron, the terror of The Nazgul and other creatures like orcs, Urukhai, the Balrog, goblins and even the Kraken.
One of the main elements of science fiction and fantasy is when things go wrong with technology or the natural order of things. That can't do anything but involve horror.
That said, there can be too much horror. The horror aspect has to flow naturally and be believable. Add in too much like, say, all the "squidies" in "Matrix Revolutions" and you get nothing but mind overload. Also, it needs to still have a good and believable plot like "Solaris" versus the dumb blonde-as-reporter concept found in "Spiders."
Also, horror works best in the mix if it's added to the plot of science fiction and fantasy. Trying to mix sci-fi/fantasy around horror almost always comes out forced, like "Jason X."
Great story. Tense, climactic (well, "anticlimactic" in this case). You could almost feel the narrator's relief, from the pounding of his heart at what he/she thought the end was nigh to the soreness of his entire body from the tension of expected death. The story is thorough as the narrator does what most people would do -- look outside for signs of destruction.
The only sticking point I had with the story was the last paragraph. The narrator wakes up, is sore from sleeping on the floor, enjoys a bowl of cereal, makes a phone call and ruminates on Mankind being given a second chance. I would think he would have done that after he found that the world did not end. No mention is made of the narrator going to sleep or feeling sleepy. I can't imagine him sleeping since he did wonder if the time or date was wrong and wondered if the end was still coming?
Very interesting and informative. Heidi is described three-dimensional so I had no difficulty in warming to her, though I'm not sure I really needed to hear every detail of her family life. On the other hand, the tales of home do give the story a bit of warmth, like something comforting to go home to after work.
Heidi's encounter with David sounds promising, like a possible romantic adventure (she does, after all, want a companion to alter her "lone wolf" trips). I also detected a hint of danger and suspense for Heidi in the way David was eying the man with the shark eyes, so that intrigued me and could provide the impetus for readers to want more.
Pip sounds like an amazing person, one of those mile-a-minute people that make the makers of Red Bull wonder how they can get their hands on her.
For clarification, the author might need to spell out GCSE. I looked it up as "General Certificate of Secondary Education," but it's a term used primarily in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and South Africa. Most of the readers on WDC are in America.
Also, I would have liked to have seen a little more about Africa. The city where Heidi, Pip and David are catching the train is never mentioned nor is the site of the market where Pip gets her foodstuffs. One mention is made of Hobyo and that's it.
Hobyo is an ancient port on the coast of Somalia that was favored for centuries by sailors because of its freshwater wells. After being overrun by Mussolini's Italian Army just before WWII, it lost favor as the Italians purposely moved its port functions to Mogadishu. Today, it's a primary port for the Somali pirates. It's also constantly being fought over by the Islamic Court Union and whatever warlord or functioning Somali government (and I use that term loosely).
So, I can understand a bit when Heidi is going "unofficially" to help National Geographic with its story on Somali pirates, but I would need some more clarification. The area is in violent upheaval and has been for some time so I can't imagine regular train service to the place. Will Heidi go to another city that's not in the middle of a huge gun battle and then try to make for Hobyo some other way? Will the story include the full context of Somalia?
Heidi has presented as a bright girl, though still quite young and naive. However, working for NG tends to mature people fast and I would think she would have done some homework on her new assignment. In this story, she's made to sound as if she thinks she'll be photographing happy things in a place where, a few months ago realtime, the French Navy and Fusiliers Marins went ashore and blasted half the town.
I hold out high hopes for Heidi and her assignment, but I am also hoping the author includes the real story of Somalia and doesn't photograph it with rose-colored glasses.
I have to agree with the author that this could be better. I liked the rhyme scheme but had trouble making sense of what the poem was trying to convey.
This could be stretched a lot further so that the real story can be fully fleshed out.
Excellent. Realistic in every way. The sergeant is presented as hard-bitten and, though he's only 26, he seems to have developed a world-weariness that once only hit men in the 40's. I also like Stevens' youthful exhuberance and his barely constrained emotions. The sergeant still has a tender spot because he refuses to show Stevens the real words of the fateful letter, as I am sure he has seen far too many "Dear John" letters in his short career.
I like it. I was confused a little at first, but soon it became clear that this is one of life's little lessons. The older sibling is growing up and moving on to new things and new friends. The younger sibling feels left out and doesn't know why. But, he has hope and knows, deep down, that he, too, will grow and reconnect with his brother.
Great work. Save for a few style points such as run-on sentences, this is great work. Ella's dreams are brought vividly to life and the nightmare is made too real. As a lead-in chapter for the (hoped for) book, this has more than enough to lure the reader. Who is Ella? Who is the girl with the blue eyes and blinding white hair? Who is calling to Ella and what is this mysterious forest? And just who is the evil being trying to kill her?
Excellent stuff. I've always thought that way about science fiction, though I disagree about the "Star Wars" reference. Yes, it is about rescuing the damsel in distress but it does have a bunch of "what ifs." What if someone used cloning technology to build an army? What if that technology was used for evil instead of good? What limits are there to this technology? If Man can build nuclear weapons and desired ways to put laser beams and killer satellites in space, then why not something like a Death Star?
Nothing in "Star Wars" makes it total fantasy as the worlds explored are alien.
Other than that, this was an excellent article. Science fiction must have plot, themes and solid characters. Science can't carry the whole thing. Otherwise, you get "The Matrix." Even in movies, the best can get it wrong while the low budgets can get it right. My example is "It Conquered the World." Yeah, the special effects Venusian monster was cheap but the characters were strong (especially Peter Graves, Lee Van Cleef and Beverly Garland) and the themes were timely. Basically, what would society do if someone promised the world, but only delivered misery? When this movie came out, the world was not far removed from Hitler's madness and, yet, America was going down that road with the Red Scare.
At its heart, I've always believed that science fiction is an outlet. You can comment on politics and other serious issues in the guise of fiction, much like the original "Star Trek" mirrored the political realities of the 1960's. "Stranger in a Strange Land" challenged repressed sexual mores while "The Time Machine" took a swipe at war. George Schuyler challenged institutionalized racism in "The Black Empire" while the cause of the handicapped was boosted by "Flowers for Algernon." And I won't even start on the whole anti-nuclear theme.
Robert Waltz presents a very thorough article, replete with sources and quotes to back up his words.
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