Wow, great way to shred my childhood heroes. Still, the story was great and funny. Santa Claus meets present-day America.
I actually read this because of the mention of Logan International Airport. I'm from Medford, so I checked it out and was glad I did.
Hilarious, especially the part of Santa being forced to land for violating Logan's airspace. I also like the references to the way we're making so many holidays antiseptic and generic, and to the inference to Iraq where we seemed to create more problems than originally were there. The part about the outsourcing to India was amusing, too (at least it wasn't China, although I'm surprised there was even a toymaking operation within the United States in the first place).
Hmm, I'm hoping your wife found this to be very funny. As for me, I liked it a hell of a lot. Great questions that make you think. Reminds me of Stephen Wright's offbeat brand of humor.
Some of the questions are interesting to consider. Others are just downright hilarious.
A good rhyme flow and it is amusing. I can't honestly say I know what the author is talking about, but it's a fun ditty.
Could it be from the viewpoint of a baby about to be born or maybe it's a pregnant woman's point of view. I don't really know, but it is a fun ditty and something I wasn't expecting.
Maybe you should send this to Michael Douglas and Glenn Close. Good rhyme flow and its really conveys the message. I'll have to check out becoming a monk after reading this one.
A good read, with vivid descriptions. I would have liked the story to be a bit longer. Being so short, it makes all the plot twists come at the reader like a bad straight-to-video movie. But, it does lend an air of mystery that could make for a much longer story or a book in the future.
A good story, presented well. I like the build-up from the frosty beginning with Barbara and Lisa to the revelation at the end with Edward. The grammar and style could use some work and some of the descriptions are verbose (like about the sky being dull grey like a pillowcase). It's also a little confusing about what might have happened between Barbara and Edward and the hint that maybe Lisa is Edward's daughter and not Jonathan's. That might need some clearing up.
Overall, however, this is a good and promising start.
Great story. Although it's cyberpunk (with maybe a few too many descriptions of the character's abilities), it's also moralistic. Despite all our wishes and hard work, we can fall prey to addiction at any time. It makes one see why it's so hard for gamblers, smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts to quit.
I like the slow buildup as his resistance crumbles and he forgets all about his original mission, all for the sake of some false feeling.
Excellent story. A great lead-in, some definite intrigue and backstabbing and good drama. Alaura is a great character, smart, but normal, not some superheroine. Stanton did seem two-dimensional and cliche but I got past that in the excitement of the story.
I loved the descriptions of the station and the black hole, as well as the scientific jargon.
Keep up the excellent work. This could even work as a TV script, like on "The Outer Limits."
Not exactly what I'd think of for the Bard, but humorous nonetheless. An interesting sonnet. I like the flow and the words really fit the Trek characters, especially the part about Uhura saying her line (how frustrating that must have been for three years). And I did like the end, implying that maybe Jim Kirk has gone too far this time.
Now if we could get this into an episode of Maury Povich ("Jim Kirk, you ARE the father!").
Good stuff and a good beginning. The story explains the primary characters -- namely Now'chi and Elohim. It also explains the Gaming Room and the ongoing battle between the gods. Humans are only meant for amusement (to be servants or crushed underfoot).
I liked the intrigue, as well, that Edrick presented with his new game, a mystery with potential problems for everyone.
Excellent story. I can honestly say that my first catch while fishing as a young boy wasn't nearly so exciting (caught a sunfish and a crappie in a river in Massachusetts -- whoop-de-doo).
I liked the way the author starts off with tension by showing the boy's eagerness to get fishing right away. I like how he explains the casting and the pointers about catching fish. I remember the same lessons from my father. I felt the thrill of the author finally reeling in that catch.
An interesting poll, but maybe there could have been some additional choices. I would add "Alien" to the list. It's the ultimate "who goes there?" type of horror film.
Not quite what I expected. Turning the tables on a serial killer of women it seems. Interesting how the author describes catching Neddy after one of his crimes. He ties the man up and tortures him, makes him feel just he made his victims feel.
It also makes me wonder about the sanity of the author. Is the narrator some well-to-do citizen? I don't think so since he (or she) exacts revenge instead of turning Neddy in. The description makes it seem as if Neddy's just run into someone on his own level, which makes it all the worse for poor Neddy.
Chilling narrative (no pun intended). Makes you feel as if you are really there, freezing and hungering like the Native Americans and their ponies.
But, the narrative also shows the strong spirits, the desire to remain free. Despite freezing temperatures, gnawing hunger and the relentless pursuit by the cavalry, the tribe years for freedom. The invoke the spirits with dancing.
But, they learn that death still comes no matter how heard you yearn. But, they die on their own terms -- free.
Okay, I missed the beginning and should have read this first. It's a great start, almost perfectly detailing the harsh realities of the narrator's life. Her love for her mother is made real, as is the misplaced rage of her father against Liz.
The dialogue sounds authentic and there is the right amount of tension as her brooding father finds himself in the same kind of conditions as existed the night his wife died. Can lightning strike twice?
Unfortunately, yes, it can. Most stories would have had the father say some redeeming words, but the narrator shows the bitterness of her father when he puts Liz down yet again in comparison to his wife even as he dies. Truth is, old hatreds die hard.
Excellent work, Ms. Taylor. It works because it makes me envision the scenes in my head. I can almost taste the dust. I can feel the tension and I wonder if Liz is not telling something because of her reluctance to go.
The business of packing up and leaving feels realistic. I must admit that I normally read Westerns from the point of view of men, like Zane Grey. But, I liked this view, especially the present-tense usage.
An interesting narrative. Is Stewart dreaming this apocalyptic nightmare or is it another dream like the one he has about Serena? It makes for a potentially tense mystery.
On the down side, it does not flow well. The sentences move from past tense to present tense. Comments like "...what else can you do if you don't know what to do?" come out of nowhere, instead of being attributed to Stewart.
The characters and plot are okay. I think it's more a matter of style. But, it's the small things that can ruin the big things. A rewrite to take care of these things would probably knock this up to 4.0 stars.
This was a good narrative, packed with suspense, tension and action. Alize seems to be living in a naive world, but quickly has it shattered by the attempted assassination in the forest. I like how she freezes, unable to just ignore and, although she may have saved the wrong man, she acts to prevent a terrible death.
I wanted to give it a higher rating, but the narrative threw me in the fifth, sixth and seventh chapters, by going from single tense to multiple tense. I'm not sure if the writer is aware, but the story switches from single to plural enough times to make an English teacher cry.
Great narrative. It built up slowly to create mystery and tension and then sprang it at just the right time. We're given a mysterious situation since we don't know why Cade is out here or who is after. Is he spying or is he an assassin. We're not sure, but the mission is important enough for him to brave a magic forest that makes his body convulse, so we know it's immportant.
The writer heightens the tension by revealing a scene of possible espionage or skulduggery as the man in the white robe steals from a cabin to trade something for money. Now, Cade is going to kill him.
Getting better. We get to see how bitter harvests bear bitter fruits. This might be a metaphor for bad family relationships. One thing can set it astray and poison it forever. Ironically, to hear Rebecca's father calling out for Jesus and to see all the religious stuff on the walls, it is strange that no one can seem to forgive Rebecca.
However, I am glad that Amanda seems to be more open than Katherine. They all seem two-dimensional, but, unfortunately, I think we can see such people about us every day -- driven by formed opinions that are reinforced every day, to the point that nothing can change them.
I like the fact that Melissa's boyfriend is being so supportive. Melissa needs some support.
Cool and tragic at the same time. The descriptions, such as the lilacs, are vivid and the plot moves smoothly.
At first, Rebecca's writings about being a witch didn't really pique my curiosity. But, then, the floor of the basement caved in and suddenly Rebecca actually became more human to me.
Even though her family dismissed her, she still had the courage to offer herself to the creature to save the lives of her family, even if it meant that she had to alienate them.
I'm hoping Melissa doesn't decide to go into the house.
Okay, this was unusual, to say the least. I have no idea what rebirth or reincarnation entails, but this narrative is close.
The darkness enveloping is like death, but the white death seems scary. One can imagine what a newborn must feel (if it could feel) when faced with birth.
The feelings of terror must seem overwhelming, yet it quickly subsides and the author looks forward to a fresh life. Mayhaps this could be a metaphor for life itself, about ending one existence (such as a job or way of life) and beginning another.
Okay, good start. I liked the vivid description here. There's no sudden wake-up, just the real reaction of someone coming to. Feeling pain. Bewildered at not knowing what's what.
Then, the mystery is pointed out. Did he really kill a cop? If so, why would he be in the hospital, strapped to a gurney? Why aren't the police already there? Who is the man with the gun?
It gives enough to entice the reader into more chapters.
Okay, so the beginning was cliche and the feuding parents ripped off from just about every TV movie ever made, but it got interesting with the UFO crash. Ellie is turning out to be a strong protagonist, one who is headstrong and willing to confront jackasses like Twombly to finish her investigation.
I'd like to find out how Scott and the others ended up in that ship and also why Twombly was so eager to get Damien away from the hospital for further "testing."
As for the style, I'll be honest in saying I'm still confused. The story (or script) jumps from one scene to the next and it keeps throwing me off. I'm not sure how Randy fits into the picture, except maybe to show what kind of a wretched social life Ellie has.
Using a script format is different, but it's hard to visualize things this way. A movie, of course, would have images, but this story is like looking at things before the special effects or CGI are added. I can't picture the characters in my mind.
But, it's a testament to the strength of the story that I can follow it without the visuals.
An interesting story, to say the least. To be honest, I'm still wondering why the aliens even bothered to abduct the protagonist in the first place. Did they believe they could change Earth by revealing the truth to one person? I'm not sure what kinds of emotions they have, but I think naivete is one of them.
Maybe the author will change. Truthfully, he would probably be the one person in a billion to change. Sadly, most people don't want to know what's going on outside of what affects them. If the aliens abducted and talked to 100 people a day, they might convince 5 percent to change. And of that 5%, maybe one or two might actually know how to change things.
Still, it was an insightful story and the figures were astounding.
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