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2,653 Public Reviews Given
4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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276
276
Rated: E | (3.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
My kid's Dad and I are separated so I know exactly how you feel.
He does not participate.


SUGGESTIONS:
I think your thoughts and feelings here have potential but you need to edit this and clean it up.

all the time's I could have
times

mad when I ask were was he at
where

Check your spacing throughout.
ex:

good time's.I was the
Space after the comma.

with you .I was
try
with you. I was

time's,bad time's
try
times, bad times

you and you ant there he will then know how it fill's to be alone and how it fill's to not be loved and then he will know
try
you and you are not there he will then know how it feels to be alone and how it feels to not be loved. He will know

KEEP WRITING!
Tammy

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277
277
Review of Knives of Fury  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Review gifted from thesonrises

Your story is full of action and suspense.
The imagery throughout is very good.

I like how you smoothly go from each para to the next, leaving just the right pause at times to keep your reader's suspense!

Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Suggestions:
Check your spacing through out.

Keep writing!
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278
278
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your title fits well.
Your rating is good.
Very romantic and creative poem.

Your comparisons before and after being in love are all good and unique.
I especially like the one on routine being sewed.


*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
You could add one more genres, relationship would be good.


*Gift5* Keep writing!

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279
279
Review of The Plain  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
You tease the readers with this...I hope you add to it.
Your storyline is creative and your character is likable.

Suggestions/Errors:
I Unpin a grenade
Does unpin need to be capitalized?

I weigh up my options, maybe i will be able to see the coast from that dune, then i will take it from there.
I would capitalize all the I's here.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
280
280
Review of Teddy Bear Hockey  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Great title and it should draw your readers in.
I enjoyed your children's poem.
Love the images your readers see in this hockey game.

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*

I'd work on the punctuation, you do not have to have a period at the end of each line.
Work on the lines/ stanzas flowing together.

The looser of the game tonight has got to hit the tub."
loser

he was spinning lake a top.
like


*Gift5* Keep writing!

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281
281
Review of Candle Dance  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* Overall Impressions;
I like your title.
Your rating and genres are good.

Very romantic read.
The dance of life and love.
You capture this very well.

my favorite part:
'Two silhouettes embracing their lover.
Whispering passionate words to the other.'

Your poem flows well and the pace is steady throughout.


*Star* Keep writing!
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282
282
Review of More than song  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

Very pretty and sweet poem.
I love that you are telling your story from a cricket's p.o.v.
Very creative.

Suggestions:
some small ones~~
She came and had her baby in the stable, on the hay.
I'd cut the comma in this line.

Watch your use of filler words.
(the, that, and...)
Removing some of them will help with the read/flow of your poem.

ex
They claimed he was a king and then they bowed down by his side.
try
They claimed he was a king and then bowed down by his side.

I watched in awe, surprised, at all the gifts that they did bring,
try (awe/surprise basically the same here)
I watched in awe at all the gifts they did bring,

Keep writing!
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283
283
Review of The Pet Shop  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
I enjoyed your story and the walk through the pet store.

Your story holds some reminders and makes one think.
Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.

I did not notice any typos or errors.
Good job!

Suggestions/Errors:
In a few areas it is really hard to believe that your character is only nine years old.
It could be just the way you phrase things.
ex
When he asks about the meaning of life...would a nine year old ask it like that?
Also the part on the pets..like the fish only defecating and being low maintenance.
With some different word choices I think this would be more believable.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
284
284
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Unique form, you do it well.
I like that you include the info on it because I've never see it before.

Your title is good and fits this well.
Your rating and genres are good.

I agree with your feelings/thoughts here.
Especially that everything happens for a reason.

Stanza two is good but really hard to do!
You end this with a question, one that leaves your reader with something to think about!

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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285
285
Review of 12 ft 6 in UNDER  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Wow, your starting lines in para one are really good and grabs your readers attention.

You share a fear with your readers.
This is some honest writing and I hope it helped you in conquering your fear.

Suggestions:
Watch your repetition of words throughout.
ex
were screaming in pain and shaking. I felt like screaming it hurt
try
were screaming in pain and shaking. I felt like yelling it hurt

I'd like to know if you finished the class, your ending leaves the reader hanging.

Keep writing!
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286
286
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impression:
Welcome to the site.
Your title,rating and genres are appropriate.

Your character sketch is good.
I could see this elf-like character very easily.
I like that you break it down into sections.

Suggestions:
You use her name over and over, maybe exchange she for her name in a few places just to cut the repetition.

Keep writing!
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287
287
Review of The Harlequin  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I'm seeing a whole new side to you!
Girl, you are so talented.
You conquer poetry forms well...

I really enjoyed this poem/tale.
I like the way you present the poem with the image and the two colors.
Your story flows well and your imagery is good throughout.
I could see this Harlequin.

Thanks for leaving the author's note with all the extra details.

My favorite part:
'Gave a light whistle of pleasure and rose to her feet.
Hopping out to meet him in a cloud of tiny butterflies'

KEEP WRITING,
TAMMY

REVIEW ON BEHALF OF
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288
288
Review of Seize the Day  
Rated: E | (4.5)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Very short poem, but says what it needs to for you to make your point.

I like your last line on reality!
Your poem also holds a gentle reminder on how/why one faces each day.

It's a unique form.
Thanks for including the link to the contest and to the form.

KEEP WRITING.
TAMMY

REVIEW ON BEHALF OF
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289
289
Review of This Line  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Great ending.
And I hope you find it!!

I think anyone who has been in a broken relationship will identify with your thoughts/feelings.
(especially women!)

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Your poem flows/read well.
Your rhymes work good together.

My favorite lines:
'But she was too determined
So she conceded.'

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
290
290
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Very romantic poem!
You capture a first kiss well.

I think all will remember their first kiss when they read your thoughts/feelings.

My favorite part:
Stardust around you and me
—our galaxy

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres to your poem, they help it get exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
291
291
Review of Will We Learn?  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
"This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight, whom you were so kind as to have reviewed recently, and is in connection with "Invalid Item" ."

I think you capture the events & the results of this day very well.
You ask some very good questions in this.
Many of us ask these same questions.

Your poem has a big reminder in it, especially stanza 6.
Thanks for sharing.

Suggestions:
It was a sad, sad, day today
I'd remove the second comma.

I'd end line 4, 20 & 24 with a period.
I'd end line 16 with a ?

Keep writing!
Tammy
292
292
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*

Your rating, title and genres are good.
Very pretty poem and words you have here.

Love the presentation of your poem, the colors and the snowflakes.

My favorite part:
'Puffed white clumps
to the naked eye belie
intricate beauty, deployed
and destroyed by union;'

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*

A few things that should help with the read/flow of this:

In line six, I think you could cut the comma.

so I can inhale their essence,
try
as I inhale their essence,

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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293
293
Review of The Forgotten Man  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
I worked in Nursing Facilities for over 10 years and some of what you have is right on.
There were some in there that really fit this description.

Suggestions/Errors:
are the life he now knows and nothing more.
and as he manages to arrive in the room
try
are the life he now knows and nothing more.
He manages to arrive in the lonely room

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
294
294
Review of Joslyn's Folly  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.
What a twist at the end, I wasn't expecting it at all.

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres.

I'd suggest spacing after the dialog and maybe putting this into 3-4 paragraphs.
It will be easier for your readers to follow the dialog and it will help with the overall presentation of your story.

I think you should expand a little on this, set up the characters and their relationships a bit more.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
295
295
Review of So Many Rivers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Very creative and unique poem.
I really love the way you use river/nature to tell about your life.
You comparison works very well throughout.

Your title fits very well.
Your rating and genres are good.

My favorite part:
Some measure life in minutes,
some count the time year by year.
I have measured by the crossings;
Great rivers have brought me here.

Your ending stanza is really good and strong too as you show yourself settled and waiting to go Home.


*Gift5* Keep writing!

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296
296
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Well, I feel like I know you a bit better.

Your bio is very inspirational as you briefly tell your readers a part of your life that you have had to overcome.

Your writing is honest...but makes the reader want to know more about you!
I did not notice any typos or errors.
Your title and rating are good.

You have been a great addition to WDC and your reviews are always helpful and encouraging.
Keep them coming!

suggestions;
Add some genres, they will get your item exposure.

Mayb add to this and tell the readers more about you!

Keep writing!
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297
297
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your rating, title and genres are good.
I like the repeating stanzas.
Your poem flows well as you tell this of this prophecy.

I think you have done very well at writing this so that a child can understand the meaning behind these words. Good job, it can be hard to write at that level.

I like stanza three the best and the image you show your readers.

Good luck with your book.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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298
298
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your title, rating and genres are good.
I think many will identify with this; any who has an ex!

I like the repetition that you use with the watching, I was feeling watched by the time I got to the end!
: )

I like this part the best:
i still love you
that's why
you're there
tucked away
in the corner of my mind


*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
I think you could combine some of these lines and it would make the poem read/flow a little better.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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299
299
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
The review you requested.
Your title and genres are good.
You really bring music to life with these words.

My favorite part:
'The note spreads its wings and circles around
Larger and bolder the note has a heart
Stronger and louder the note torn apart'

Suggestions:
Add some genres.

Lest the weight of the note doth fall to the floor
This is the only line like this, I'd cut lest and doth just to go with the rest of your poem.

The timps are now crashing like waves on the shore
Is this supposed to be temps?

Urged on by this-the conductors baton
I think I'd cut this.
Urged on by the conductors baton

Keep writing!
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300
300
Review of Clutching Leaves  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Very sweet and romantic read!
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
I like the mixture of nature and love/romance that you have.

My favorite part is because it's simple but says a lot:
'We share the green grass
that clings to our clothes'

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
You have one period in the very last line...I'd either remove it or add more.
Either way would be fine, I kind of think this poem would be better with out it.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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