Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS Very unique poem.
I like how you mix the turtles and nature to show the birth of your grandson.
Your poem looks almost like a flower...were you going for shape poetry??
(If you added pink or red for the top and the rest green it would look like flower!!)
Your poem flows well and I really like the repetition of the 'floating' line.
Your rating, titles and genres are good.
My favorite part:
'and the cord is cut
you bobble to the surface
rising to the light,'
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS This comparison of the see-saw and giving/taking in life works really well.
I like you last few lines on asking/seeking and knocking.
My favorite lines:
'smiling all the way
Screaming in joy
Balancing always.'
Your poem flows/reads well and your words are very true.
SUGGESTIONS You could add one more genre, they help your items get exposure.
maybe personal or emotional
My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
Sad story.I like your ending and your thoughts on the salt/tears.
It really helps the mood for this.
Suggestions/Errors:
I think maybe just set this up a bit more.
Maybe show a memory of two.
As it is, I was left with a few questions.
About her husbands illness, his death.
Just maybe add a little more on their relationship and his death.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
Your storyline is creative and the twist is unexpected.
Your story flows well.
I wasn't left with any questions.
I did not notice any typos or errors.
Suggestions/Errors:
I think your story lacks emotion.
It's dry and to the point.
But we are talking about murder...a jealous, hidden murder that is revealed
Maybe you could set this up a bit more.
Add some feeling to this.
Maybe show her losing her control a little...even when the cops come she acts indignant..
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
I love music.
Your love for it comes across very strong through these words.
Your title, rating and genres are good.
You capture music well with your words/thoughts and feelings.
You use some unique comparisons to get your point across.
In places I could hear the music and in places the music is tangible.
Very creative poem you have here.
Thanks for sharing.
All music lovers will appreciate this.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Your thoughts/feelings on anxiety are right on.
I think we have all felt anxiety over something.
So many will identify with your thoughts here and remember something that evoked these same feelings in them.
Your title, rating and genres are good.
I like your last stanza the best, it really sums your thoughts all up.
These two lines really give the reader a feel of how this makes you feel:
'with jolting turns, haphazard bumps;
a catastrophe without hope.'
Thanks for sharing.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
I love butterflies!!
I like how you are using butterflies to describe life and it's uncertainties.
I like your last two lines the best.
Your rating, title and genres are good.
Suggestions/Errors:
I think I would work on the overall flow of this.
Your comma usage really makes this a choppy read.
Always read your poetry aloud after finishing it and check the flow and read of it.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Aging does tend to make one think.
I like the comparisons that you make to games/puzzles on your thoughts on life.
Your poem flows well and your rhymes work good together.
Great ending.
Thanks for the positive and inspirational read.
My favorite lines:
'For I remember smiling at the world, before I tried to save it,
Remember the fork in the road, long before I tried to pave it
I recall the wasted efforts and decisions made in haste,
Recall the times life served me that melancholy taste'
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Overall Impressions:
The review you requested.
Thanks for sending me the link to this story.
I enjoyed it and learning a little bit more about you!
Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.
I did not notice any typos or errors.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Your words remind us what is important in life!
hugs
Keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
I like the title and the contrast that it shows.
Your rating and genres are appropriate.
I like that you show this woman and her problems on a walk...while showing bits and pieces of her life.
I really like your ending stanza the best.
Suggestions/Errors:
Your wording is a little awkward at times.
ex;
Ask myself, how can possibly such moment exist,
try
Asking myself, how can such a moment exist,
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
Your poem is so romantic and tragic.
You capture their life and love well with these words
I could feel this man's pain and sadness.
Your imagery is good, I could see this elderly man standing at her grave site.
My favorite part:
Off weathered cheeks fall silent tears,
As he watches over his precious wife.
Her love and laughter his greatest wealth,
She’s the special chapter in his story of life.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Your rating title, and genres are all appropriate.
Your story reads well.
I did not notice any typos or grammar errors.
Suggestions/Errors:
I understand this is fantasy but it is really unbelievable.
There are a few thing I think you could do...one set this up a little more. Not just have one day you are on the island...??
Another would maybe show yourself waking up at the end as if you were dreaming.
I could see this more as a fantasy/dream.
Or why not let him pick/ why sit there and die?? If he chose one, then the fantasy could advance anyway!
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.54 seconds at 4:41pm on May 09, 2024 via server web2.