Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Very sad/tragic story you share with us.
It makes one think of their own life and is a reminder that we shouldn't take things for granted.
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
Great first line.
Your descriptions are good throughout.
I like the details that you include on our surroundings...like the curtains of the other shop.
Your story is very well-told and I didn't see any typos or errors.
You hold the readers attention throughout.
Suggestions/Errors:
Check your spacing in para three.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
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and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are appropriate.
Your poem tells a story.
A little twist to the blind man story.
I like how you use the pool and the song in his heart.
Your poem flows/reads well.
Your rhymes are good and help with the pace of your poem.
MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Add some genres they help your items get exposure.
Religous, inspirational, emotional would all work.
IMPRESSIONS:
Your rating and genres are good.
Your title is creative and fits well.
I wasn't sure where you were going with this but the ending sums it all up well.
I think we have all ran from things, so your readers will easily identify with these thoughts/feelings.
I like that you touch on your readers senses with the colors, the sounds and the feels.
Keep writing, Tammy
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Overall Impressions:
Great poem on your life.
I love the way you use the three little words for every stage of your life.
Very creative way to show your readers about your life.
Thanks for sharing.
Sorry for your loss.
But what a life it seems you two had.
your title is good.
Your rating and genres are appropriate.
Keep writing!
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IMPRESSIONS:
I am kind of skipping around and looking through your novel.
I really think you are brave to share all this with us.
As I nurse, I am glad you shared a positive experience with your nurse ....I don't ever understand why a doctor can't have good bedside manners and take the time to tell their patients everything.
I must say this is a bittersweet read..I lost my Mom to cancer in 2004 and this brings back memories.
Suggestions:
I did not notice any typos.
Keep writing, Tammy
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Overall Impressions:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Great description of the house!
Your main character is very likable.
Suggestions:
If he likes it, that’s fine. It’s his choice.”
You need starting quotation marks in front of if.
The transition at the end where she realizes she is in the trailer is a little subtle..I had to re-read the end to get what happened.
Maybe you could have the beginning of the story in italics(the dreaming part)...or something to help with the transition more.
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Sorry for your loss.
Great tribute to your son.
I know that time doesn't always heal as they say..
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
Suggestions/Errors:
Well, Let me say having another one!
Just kept me from going insane.
try
Well, let me say having another one
Just kept me from going insane!
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are appropriate.
This feels like a prose with a little poetry in it.
I like your descriptions at the beginning.
Suggestions/Errors:
This leaves the reader wanting to know more....I think you should expand and set this up more.
Briefly show the couple, the love, the death and what leads to the strong words/ending you have.
I'd change the static item from other to Prose.
I' add a couple more genres.
maybe death, personal or love/romance
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Overall Impressions:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
Very honest writing here about yourself.
I did something like this for a group thing and I know that it was really hard to do.
Suggestions:
Neither my family does
This line in para one is a little confusing.
try;
Even better than my family knows me ...or combine it with the sentence before.
My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are all appropriate.
I like your intro for this, it really made me want to find out more about you.
I think most will identify with your feelings here...we all have something that we hide within or hide from.
We all wear some kind of mask.
I like how you use the two side of the river to show the two yous.
Very creative way to do this.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Great title and I like how you start each stanza with it!
Isn't this every woman's wish!!?!
Great ending~~I love it.
Suggestions/Errors:
Instead of having other as your static item, you should have poetry.
You could add one more genre, personal or women's would work well.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Great first poem!!
Hope it's not your last.
Your poem is full of emotions and feelings.
Very romantic poem!
I like your ending stanza with the whispers of love!
Suggestions/Errors:
You have a comma or period after every line..I don't think you need them all and removing them would help the overall flow of the poem.
ex
Feelings wash over me,
I cannot describe.
I close my eyes,
I fall deep inside.
try
Feelings wash over me
I cannot describe.
Closing my eyes
I fall deep inside.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
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