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 |   New and Improved... but only slightly. |
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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ... a literal douche bag, the item, could be ordained a minister these days. There are so many figurative douche bags behind pulpits, why not? My mom is a seminarian. She received her masters in Hebrew from Eden seminary here in THE Lou, and a lot of her friends come from this seminary. Like this one woman who is on the run from creditors and debt with her schitzo husband who can't travel more than ten miles a day cause he has "environmental allergies" (which makes for an anti-climactic chase). Then there's the lady who has been lying through her teeth about registrations and what not for these workshops she and my mom are setting up. Their ventures are losing money just in deposits. And they both are people who, in answering their "calling", would have you come to them for spiritual guidance. Thank you, no, I'm kosher without your "guidance". My mother, Buddha bless her, cannot stop hanging out with these people though. This is the problem, Jesus accepts everyone, even the downright ignorant. Is that wrong? No, that's great, except Jesus' flock will ordain these idiots and give them a congregation. Religion becomes a sideshow, with ordained ministers picketing soldiers' funerals carrying signs that read "God Hates Fags". How about these ten year old ordained ministers? What the hell do you know at ten? 12 is when cognitive thought really develops... maybe I just answered my own rhetorical question. You know how long it takes a Gelugpa monk to receive his geshe degree? 15 years. You can find it written by several Buddhists, including the Dalai Lama, that 30 years is about what a full education in Buddhism requires. Over here, "f  k it, let's ordain the first pervert with a face twitch who walks through the door". We have to remember too that Christianity is more about politics now than it is religion in the US. "Everything is to be taken literally in the Bible!... except where Jesus tells everyone to absolve themselves of their worldly possessions, I know it sounds socialist, but that's metaphoric... everything else, like serpents giving apples to naked chicks and guys living in whales, that's literal, and it empowers our agenda of rich first!" I just saw this commercial for a church here that told you to turn to Jesus for counseling, and I thought of this crap. Then I read lizco252's entry and now I'm better. |
| ... absolutely nothing. Fashion Group International is the first thing you get when you FG FGI. See how clever I am about this stuff, gonna have to use your A-Game. In any event - The One Sided STD Conversation. Cause we've all been there before. "Hey, hey, hey, calm down, baby. Don't think of them as sores, but as expressions of my love. This disease is just something else we'll have in common for the rest of our lives... or until I dump you, which, now that you have this disease is a real possibility cause it shows a lack of responsibility. What? I know, I know, I gave you the disease, I see we're playing the blame game now. Well in that case, who was making out with strangers two weeks ago? That's right, me, but did I blame you for pushing me into the arms of another four or five women? NO! Cause I'm mature and level headed. Even when you were acting selfish and crying that night, I never, not once, played the blame game. Birthday or not, it's unattractive when you try and make yourself the center of attention. So let's just move forward, together.... and I think we should see other people." Yup, them's the rules of the game. How 'bout them BLUES! Suck on that one time Red Wings. |
| ... your SATURDAY SUPER STUMPER You may only post your answer publicly. Participation = 10pts, the correct answer = 100pts. The first correct public answer will not collect points from following correct answers. There are many answers, but only one that I'm looking for, so this week, you can buy "blocks" for 25 points a pop. That is, if you see an adversary's answer and don't want it to count, just post that you would like to block. You'll loose 25 points, but if you believe your answer is right then... it may be worth it. Scores, too add a bit of cut-throat, are: inhercat = 60 Pancake Master  = 120Paige Turner  = 170NOVAcatmando  = 130In Your Dirtiest Pants = 170Veritas = 60SummerLyn Guthrie = 130lizco252 = 110 peachbug = 160 Noe = 110Lorien = 110IdaLin = 50Captaintaya = 60Prepare yourselves for trivia of doom!... The acronym FGI means what? |
| ... you've failed me again. Okay, we need to clarify and readjust some things here. This morning I wake up and have an e-mail from NOVAcatmando about "back room ballots" and what not where the SUPERSTUMPER is concerned. "What the - ! Accuse me of back room ballot counts and what not!" Says I. "Where could she have gotten such an idea!?!" Right here, two days ago. "By the bye we have a two way tie now in the Stumper. Points are just going to roll over to next week."  But wha... why did I write that and then proclaim a winner yesterday!?!Two days ago on my flying out the door for school, I decided that an interpretation of the rules I used on the tie-breaker, but didn't use on the initial question wouldn't count. That being, public correct answers collect points on following correct answers. Yesterday, after sleeping in and what not, I forgot this, until this morning when I dug out the score sheet and saw it written across it on a post-it. WE HAVE A TIE IN THE STUMPER, POINTS ROLL OVER TO NEXT WEEKEND. Who says I don't fight corruption... especially my own. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwlpTgbQTE Nike makes some killer commercials, and I find some of their best are for soccer. You couldn't have a guy sign a boob on US tv, no way, but over yonder, sure. |
| ... I was just doing some science. Yesterday I pwn'd this presentation in class, and now I have like a free week of booze, babes and borscht. To celebrate I went and bought a video game, which sounds sort of lame when said aloud. I should have gone to the bar what has them poles that don't act as structural supports, I know, but I was in gaming mood. Video games keep me at home, they save money and I don't have to shower to play. In other words, I crave lazy. What game did you get, Zack? Halo ODST? I bet that was it. And you bet wrong fool! Street Fighter IV was the winner HADOUKEN!!!! to your face. Since like 1994 Street Fighter hasn't just been a video game I enjoy, it's been my way of life. Playing the game is like reading a textbook on successful living. Travel the globe, see the sights and fight in back alleys with a crowd repeating the same cheering motions over and over; Mouth open, fist in air. Mouth closed, fist at side. Mouth open, fist in air. Mouth closed, fist at side . It's got something for everybody. You wanna be American be Ken, you wanna be a US service man be Guile, you want to be an obese American be Rufus. You wanna be a thick-thighed Chinese girl wearing a thong be Chun Li... please be Chun li. Provided her piss-test comes back clean lizco252 won last weekends SUPER STUMPER in the tie break, but it remains close and all points roll over into this weekend. |
| ... I think she's wised up and seen the light. Poor wiffle-ball bats. I have to do this huge presentation today which will make or break my career as a student. Well, it's not that dramatic, but man, it feels like it. Don't wish me luck... pray me perfection. By the bye we have a two way tie now in the Stumper. Points are just going to roll over to next week. Let's not stop talkin' about drugs just yet though: LEGALIZE MARIJUANA? Yes or no, and why? Neither the film Reefer Madness or Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" count as scholarly sources for your argument. |
| ... one of our own has a problem... a DRUG PROBLEM. lizco252 has been "chasing the dragon", she's had "white line fever", she's been "tripping the shrooms fantastic". Autumn's been on some heavy stuff, performance enhancing stuff. The kind of stuff that could make someone blog a blue month. She's in too deep to see the light, and I think it's up to us to help her. We need a plan though, team, otherwise our intervention may not work. The way I figure it, she's knee deep in Peruvian snow, cutting the ends off of a wiffle-ball bat trying to snort her way to 30 entries. We've all been there, alone, with two white skid marks leading up our snotters, cursing the dealer who cut our coca with baking powder. I support Autumn's Blue-Month as much as the next guy, but at what cost! So this is what I propose:1) Let's agree that 12 steps are too many, and cut out the ones that don't work. Apologizing for transgressions, don't need it. 2) Let us approach her, as a supportive community, letting her know that she isn't fighting this alone. I think we need to Comment Mob her blog, there's no other way. 3) We should give her a higher power to turn to in her time of struggle. I hear there are some good Gods out there... Neptune, no... Venus, probably not... how about Jesus!?! I hear he does good work, loved him in Ben-Hur! Okay, so we got a plan... let's all comment in lizco252's blog with this : JESUS SAVES!! She'll be gumming Christ before coke soon enough! Go to work team, our friend is counting on us! |
| ... after the first SATURDAY SUPER STUMPER. We got a four way tie at the top, and for that reason we need a tie-breaker... TERRIBLE TIE BREAKER TRAGEDY TRAUMA TRIVIA: Rules of the TTBTTT: Correct answers worth 50 pts. Incorrect answers worth 10pts. First correct answer either private or public gets an additional 50 pts. Public correct answer collects bump points from following comments with the same answer at 25pts a post. The fourth correct answer will be mocked as late and insufficient. The first incorrect answer will receive the 10 pts and then a letter of recommendation to the University of Phoenix on-line. The player with the most incorrect answers wins a trip for eight to this blog every Saturday that's sunny and 65 degrees. No purchase necessary. US mailing addresses only. Deadline for entering is the next blog, September 29, at which time a random drawing of all entries will be held to chose team captain. Winner will be contacted via e-mail by the time any hangovers may expire. Once notified, winner will have 24 hours to accept the giveaway via e-mail. If the winner does not respond within 24 hours, a new winner will be drawn under the same stipulations. The correct answer is balls. Winner agrees to have their name used in Manifesto Remix™ promotional materials including but not limited to: e-mail, website, blog, facebook and twitter postings. Email addresses are used for E-Harmony™ bogus accounts where contest managers may or may not troll for single mothers with low morals. Formal rules and regulations legally binding and tyrannically awesome. Many will enter few will win. Good luck! |
| ... your SATURDAY SUPER STUMPER The rules are as follows: You may post your answer publicly or privately. Participation = 10pts, the correct answer = 100pts. Now, for the fun bit: Convincing people your correct public answer is the right one and getting them to "Bump" your answer = 10pts each... convincing them that your wrong answer is the right one = 20pts each. "Tom" may privately send me the answer for 110pts, then publicly post a wrong answer for another 10pts (participation). 3 people, comment in agreement and Tom gets another 60pts. Participate as much as you want. Points are being collected and tallied. Every Super Stumper will have a champion and then monthly we'll crown a Super Champ. The Question: What do the books "And Tango Makes Three", "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" and "To Kill A Mockingbird" all have in common? |
| ... the funniest YouTube vid I saw in a while, but tonight was another new episode of the funniest series I watch. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is, by far, THE funniest TV show. I defy anyone to argue me on this. "30 Rock" is funny, "The Office" is funny, but "Sunny" is freaking genius. We'd homaged "Sunny" in a Rumiez vid, but I don't think I've actually ever talked about it here. Hey cat video lovers, I've aimed to please you too. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47D9-U8hn5I If you don't get FX, you probably have little to no clue, but Hulu it. I promise you, you'll be thanking me when you do. Danny Devito... pure awesomeness! Second agenda: Applebees is NOT a bar... but we treated it like one tonight. One of the girls on our V-Ball team works for an agency that does public relations/events. In short, Applebees is looking to make itself into a bar and our teammate works with them on this. There was, I kid you not, a live musical act followed by karaoke. In a f king Applebees!?! Are you serious!?!People who drink at these chains have got to be the saddest drunks ever, and the performer (acoustic guitar cover artist) sat next to me when he was done and talked to a 45 year old Applebees drunk FOREVER. My music basically cures cancer. The lyrics are, like, from my heart and are meant to inspire. I swear to Mother Nature... I've guitared people off bridges before they've jumped And of course the Apple-Drunk is eating it up and going, "Yeah, yeah, man, far out! Awesome! I can dig it! What's the deal daddy-O!" In any event, I've been to a million dives and I would prefer the dirtiest, dankest hoosier bar to hanging out at Applebees. (Applebees = Bennigans for the west coast audience) Oh! I bring up a good question... Who can tell me what the word "hoosier" means? I'm from Missouri... so keep this in mind - Paige Turner I'm looking at you. |
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