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 |   New and Improved... but only slightly. |
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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ... the funniest video I've seen all month. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyauGeRa5T0 I think it's a combination of the mother's redonkulous reaction to her son's independent thought and then the scene being played off by keyboard cat.  No Christmas!?! Son of a bitch! |
| ... health care reform, the war and some of you are even so stupid uninformed as to question the CARDINALS dominance... but let's talk about what brings us together, yeah? There's something about getting a free T-shirt fired by compressed air from a cannon that brings everyone together. Be it the novelty of the T-shirt or the excitement of taking cotton artillery fire, the T-shirt gun is a must have for all sporting franchises. But I wondered, as I often do, can one do more with a T-shirt gun than just stick it in the hands of a cheerleader? http://www.aircannonsinc.com/101-uses-of-air-cannons.htm Uh-yeah! According to Air Cannons Inc. there are 101 uses for your T-shirt gun. Use it at protests or demonstrations to shoot non-fur based apparel. Use it at a company picnic to distribute pink slips. Hey, Noa נעה  , this thing ain't just American, use it at Bat/Bar Mitzvahs. My God, the limit is your imagination! Live squirrel shot may not prove as effective as a T-shirt in winning over fans and what not, but who wouldn't want to try that? A hand grenade... well, that kind of ruins the innocence of compressed air fun. In high school a friend and I made a potato gun with PVC pipe and used hair spray as our propellent. We fired singed BVD, skivvies across my back lawn. Talk about skid marks! - ha ha, skivvies. You know what else builds a fan base... nudity. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNNCovKmI70 Try firing that out of a cannon! |
| ... hu? Yesterday Veritas was talking about the Buddhist philosophy of self, relinquishing the attachment to ones' own being. It's perhaps the toughest concept in Buddhist thought to wrap your mind around, and is usually thought of as nihilistic when first encountered. I struggled with it cause, man... I think I have a self worth loving. It all starts though with Correct Intention. Correct Intention leads to Correct Action, Speech etc. "When performing an action, ask yourself 'Why do I perform this action?'" If it's to serve yourself, for attention or personal gain, then chances are you're not acting correctly. "This does not belong to me; this am I not; this is not my ego." Do I really need those new shoes? Do I really need their attention? Is that what defines me? No! But what of this new video game? Do I really need it? YES! http://news.cnet.com/8301-13846_3-10358188-62.html?part=rss&subj=news&tag=2547-1... The 17th Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje says video games are a way to find "a relief, a kind of decompression". He's 24 and the only Buddhist leader recognized by both Tibet and China. In that article linked above it says he also has opinions on hip-hop and is a Mac user. Boom, vindication, I've practically been living like a monk. I doubt HH the 17th Karmapa is your average gamer. There probably isn't much tea-bagging when he goes all killing frenzy in Halo (like you haven't ever done that). [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfC69UMQLeQ |
| ... was the first to answer correctly in a private comment on Saturday, and has revolutionized the SATURDAY STUMPER. New rules and regulations will be enforced... but they will force you into some tactical thinking. Yesterday was the sabbath, and the gods of pigskin were no kinder this week to me than they were last week. The RAMS proved that even ineffective offenses can beat them. Son of a b  ch. What do I have to do to get Football Jesus on my side? I drink the beer, I eat the chips... what more? Football Jesus is different from Jesus-Jesus in a few key areas. Jesus was the son of God and God at the same time. He was Jewish and from the Middle East. Although Mary Mags hung out with him, he never "knew" her, and eventually he died for all sins committed and yet to be committed. Standard Jesus story. Football Jesus though wasn't the son of God, he did it the American way, he worked hard and picked himself up by his bootstraps. He was a non-practicing Methodist cause football's on Sundays. He came from Boise and married three different broads, but always thought of Cowboy cheerleaders as he got to "know" them... from behind. He died of natural causes, a heart attack, brought on by NBC's cutting to a Heidi TV-movie in 1968 from a Jets/Raiders game. So, he died for TVs sins. It feels awesome to be confident enough to tell you all about my faith. I think this a sure sign that I am maturing as a man. I feel responsible and like I'm ready to settle into adulthood. I have a faith, in Football Jesus, and I feel secure. So, hey, from mature me to mature you... a Monday video. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocF8ujULQNM |
| ... it's time for your SATURDAY STUMPER What's the Konami code? Bonus points for giving it to me without the use of words. Double bonus points for including what that code did and where. |
| ... new names (well, not all) in the blog links. Learn to accept them. I was at school today, biding my time when I saw Russ Mitchell. He was shooting something there, and interviewing someone. So if anyone watches Russ Mitchell's channel (CBS?), you may see my school in a report on something. That would be Webster University of THE St. Louis in the great state of Missouri. If, perchance, in the background of one of the shots you see a dashing young fellow with a Che backpack and several young co-eds clinging to him... you may have just seen me. And that brings us to todays topic... your daughters. Send them to college, cause that's where guys like me are, and that's who you really want them to meet. Guys like me are sensitive yet rugged. We can be gentle, but only when she's earned it. We respect her right to be independent by allowing her to pay for dates. That's why guys like me are perfect for your daughters. Funny story. When pauluk was in Syracuse, we went to this campus bar drowning in undergrads. Some drunk chick stumbled into me and stared at me so I said, "Hi", and she started jabbering away. She asked what I studied and I told her I was a Grad student in Syracuse's Newhouse program (a tiny fib) and she goes "Whoa, you're experienced! I mean..." Oh no, Little Bit, I knew what you meant . [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEkVKeSf_Dg |
| ... for love, Dr. Jones! I got so much homework. But I'm never so pressed for time as to not be able to honor the United States of America. That's right the country that brought you rockers like Chicago and invented Jesus needs a shout out. And who better to rock the mic than John "Bible Bashing" Ashcroft. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woLQI8X2R6Y You think that's fly, just wait till you hear the Kanye West remix. So, today, below give me an example of something you, foreigners and domestics, love about America. I don't want the cliche, elementary school answers of "freedom" and "democracy", that's kiddy crap. Give me something meaty. For example, I love America cause we invented breast implants... and then censor the hell out of them on TV... but hey, you get what I mean! Big boobs! |
| ... you a CAN-adian or a CANT-adian? I have always respected my northern neighbors. I like their bacon, hockey and accents, but let me tell you what I don't like about Canada: Zed. That's what they use for the letter "Z", "zed"! Expecting me to spell my name with a word! Zed is a word not a letter! Son of a b  ch, my ancestors didn't fight them Johnny Rebs and Charlie Redcoats and Franky Feminists just so I would have to spell my name with "zed"! But I also like Canadian hip-hop now. Natalie posted this link in her blog yesterday. The video was shot outside her house. This is a nerdcore track if ever I heard one, and you know I loves me some nerdcore. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zWDz2N9ZzE That guy in the yellow, like I told In Your Dirtiest Pants , is my new mental image of what a Canadian male looks like, replacing Red Green. On any day where I play hip-hop here, you know what you gotsta do! You gotta rep ya damn hood! THE Lou keeping it treel on the onez and twoz! Damn straight. Rep your hood below and the hood with the best rep gets a special dedicatory entry here sure to boost your tourist revenues. |
| ... I hate? Phrases that start "With all due respect...", cause you know what follows is going to be disrespectful. Or jokes that end with, "... but it's okay cause my best friend/family are ____", cause you know what preceded it was probably offensive. So, to the people who think these phrases are excuses for your ignorance, I say, with all due respect, you're a walking douche bag idiot, but it's okay cause some of my friends are walking douche bag idiots. Who wants to do my homework? Who out there, wants to be my best friend and do this homework? It's simple, you just do it, and then you are my best friend. Boom. 20 points for raising your hand, you can't beat that deal. It's International Law, the course, and it's easy. Domestic law is easy, well, International Law doubly so. Partly cause there is no such thing, it only exists in treaties and for the most part a party either does what they're supposed to or doesn't. Everything else is based on customary behavior. Boom. I practically just gave you the answers to my homework that you would be doing for me. Why am I just giving my friendship away like this!?! I should be my own best friend. I suppose I could just sit here and do this homework... but man! I just re-discovered my love for killing zombies in Dead Rising... and if I don't kill them zombies, that mall is going to be closed and then where will high school kids hang out? No more Hot Topic, no more Spencer's... no more Panda Express!  So don't just do my homework for me, do it for the people in the video game who need that mall. Zombie KIllin' Pump Up Jock Jam Of The Day (or the ZKPUJJOTD) [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiDpMfEeo3Q What... killing zombies is a very sensitive action for me. |
| ... for some football!?! Cause my God-d ned RAMS sure the hell aren't. Blanked by the Seahawks... God-dned RAMS...It was a sporty kind of weekend. Football kicked off, Barry Bonds Serena Williams went all roid-rage, Caroline Wozniacki became my new most favoritest tennis chick ever and MIZZOU came back to beat Bowling Green. I think the most interesting story though is about the South African track and field star, Caster Semenya, who had to drop out of her race cause she... well, she wasn't necessarily a she... but she ain't quite a he neither. The worst part about her story is that it's public! She's only 18 years old and having to defend herself globally as she faces gender tests and scrutiny. Anyway, back to Caroline Wozniaki... what a dish. I've been practicing my over hand serve ever sense I saw her match yesterday! ... oh... double fault. According to my calendar it's that time again! That's right, on this date in, like 1678 or something F.S. Key wrote the "Star Spangled Banner" which would become the longest national anthem ever (second longest if Canada's anthem is performed with drum solos). To celebrate, as we do every year, Americans offer suggestions for a new national anthem. Give you me your suggestions. What would make a grand, new anthem for the U.S of A? Since we don't seem to mind the length of our present anthem, I say we crank this mutha to 11: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB17uWuBrL0 |
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