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You have entered my blog. I take no responsibilty for your reaction. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY NEW CAR....WELL IF I HAD THE MONEY TO BUY ONE!!! Thanks Thea!!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Watch yout 'THOUGHTS', they become words. Watch your 'WORDS', they become actions. Watch your 'ACTIONS', they become habits. Watch your 'HABITS', they become character. Watch your 'CHARACTER', for it becomes your DESTINY! |
| I'll bet everyone out there enjoys winning. It is odd when I think about it. What is so special about being a winner? Is it because you are better than someone else? I don't think so, I think it is the accomplishment. The fact that you put in a certain effort and it pays off. All those times you don't win get bottled up inside you and when that special day comes, all that emotion comes flowing out. The world becomes brighter, the burdons of the day suddenly are much lighter. Your life now has meanning as you bask in the wonderful glory of the moment. Each nerve ending tingles with it's own shot of energy and the body just says YEAH! A yeah for every time you didn't win. I won something today and I experienced hundreds of yeahs......hundreds of failures to win. Each time telling myself that someday.....someday I will make it. Today was that day. Yup I finally won something and it feels sooooo good. |
| I feel a shift in people lately....I don't know if it is attitude or something deep down, but things are changing. I notice short tempers and lots of complaining and people are praying for their lives to get better. When did things get so bad for everyone? Yeah, the gas prices are high and our kids are in another country trying to defend us, yeah money is tight for a lot of us.......but it feels to me that it is more than that..... More like the dulling of auras and a degree of almost giving up......people aren't giving up are they? I have been sensing something for a while now and have not talked about it, but it is a strong feeling...sort of a dis connection of people ....like we are no longer united.. I don't usually talk about these things because I feel a little crazy when I write it...thing is, it is getting so strong....funny but it reminds me of Ghost busters in a way. Not that I feel change of a biblical proportion ar anything...but more like people can't see what is in front of them. I know it doesn't make any sense .....but what's new, I never do.. I have noticed that my blog responses have dwindled though there are still a good number of reads....I wonder why? Am I less interesting or are people in general getting less feeling from what I say. If what I say doesn't touch the reader in some way, they will not respond....I feel uninteresting and boring. You know what? the whole content of the blogs here seem to have lost the comeradary (sp?) Maybe we all are feeling a change and just don't realize it? I don't have an answer...any one out there have a comment? |
| Well, we got our Christmas tree Saturday.. It again was too big, as they always look smaller out doors. I swear they grow about 3 inches once I walk in the door with them. I finally put lights on the house. I like the lights, I just hate the time it takes to put them out so of course I find so many reasons to put it off. Well Saturday was warm. (35 begrees F) and sunny, my wife found the lights (right were I hid them) and I ran out of reasons to put it off. I am so glad I did it now! Sunday, I went for a run....Brrrrrrr. 12 degrees F and it felt 20 degrees colder. Then after a long warm shower we decorated the tree.....My wife was a little sad as she (well we both) miss the kids helping. We would all dress up warm, go in the woods, argue extensively over which tree was the best, finally cut one down, drag it home and decorate it. I would put on the stand, trim the branches (just so) and put on the lights. Then I would sit and watch the reat of them put on the bulbs......then we all would do the tinsle.....I always put too much as my wife grew up with no tinsle......and now......we have cats that eat the stuff, which is not good so, now, unfortunately no tinsle....I am sad but the tree still looks pretty good as there are so many bulbs and stuff...everything the kids made growing up and the ones we got as gifts.....well there are a lot. Did miss the kids being around though...all that fussing and fighting ...easy to miss that stuff.......... |
| Well to quote my neighbor...... "ssssshit it's cold!!!!" Did you know I ran a 3 mile race last year and the temp was 14 degrees BELOW zero F!!!!!! I couldn't quote my nieghbor that day because she never stepped outside her house and besides my lips were frozen shut!! 18 people were crazy enough to run that race.......It was so cold that the perspiration from my hands froze into a white mist on the outside of my gloves. I passed a lady that had white frozen eye lashes....it was actually kind of cute. It sure was funny though as when people breathed....it froze into a mist imediately. It was actually quite an experience, one of the few times I ran with a hat on....I will run again this year...it is always in January and sure to be pretty cold. Well maybe not that cold but chilly non the less. Isn't it strange when you think about some of the things people do? In the northeast on January 1st...they have an ocean dip. People put on their bathing suits and jump into the ocean.....it is quite an event and surprisingly there is usually 50 to 100 people that do it..I haven't yet...but I have thought about it...I think I could do it. Hell I swim in my pool all the way into October and the temp gets down to 60 degrees....in January the ocean is around 45 so I think I could do it.....Problem is I am usually too tired from celibrating the end of the year! Though they say alcohol doesn't freez so if I just wait till midnight and then jump in, I would probably be ok or maybe DEAD!! One of these years I will do it. Hell Bugzy's dog Darla did it the other day...surely I can.... but I would need someone to rub all over me after to warm me up.....they say body heat is the best way to warm up...haven't found a volunteer yet!!! I could see the explination now; "Hey girl, what are you up to tomorrow ?" "Well a friend of mine is going to jump into the 45 degree ocean and I am supposed to go down there to rub against him naked and bring his body temp back up." " That's crazy! How old is this guy?" "Uh, 51?" "No way dude........that's gross!!! You aren't really going to do it are you?" She laughs, "HAHAHAHA......no, I just want to see his fat jiggling as he shakes uncontollably! It should be a riot!!" Yeah, I'm going to get plenty of volunteers for this one.....right!!! |
| I was watching a show last night and one of the characters was surprised that his brother did not consider him a friend. As he checked around through business associates and other aquaintences, he realized that he had no friends other than the old friends that remained with his exwife. It got me thinking....Who really are your friends? I have plenty of people I deal with all day and people I interact with when not at work, including many people here. Who really considers us friends and are they the same ones I consider friends? In the show, this guy was surprised to find out how few people considered him a friend ......Not that they didn't like him but they were on a different level. So what is a friend by definition? 1. A friend is someone you can depend on. 2. Someone that enjoys your company as much as you enjoy theirs. 3. Someone you can discuss intimate details with. 4. A person you can trust with those details. 5. A friend is a two way street...you have to give as much as you get. 6. There has to be genuine care on both sides. 7. Someone that knows all your "bad" stuff and is still there for you. 8. Someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth. 9. Someone who wants the truth in return. 10. If you have to ask them, then they are probably not a friend. So I guess it boils down to a simple fact; You have to be a friend to have a friend. After all that, did I answer my question?? |
| The alarm wins this morning! I usually wake up before it and shut it down before it has the pleasure of shaking the room.....but today..the alarm was one happy dude as it radiated some loud country song. I am not real fond of country...it is the fault of the radio stations, they will play the same 10 songs over and over all day......this one (all my exes live in Teaxas) just drives me crazy....damn thing gets stuck in my head. I suffer all day as I try to find ways to bleed it out of me.. Q-tips don't work, neither does turning on some other song, not even Christmas carols........I think only death has a chance of cleaning that damn country song from my bones.... Have you ever noticed? The story is the same, the wife left, took all the money, shot the dog, drank the beer, cut the tires on the truck and shacked up with your best friend...after screwing your dad!!!.....hell it's worse than those soap operas..... I do think though, the new country is much better and also,,,,,,,,,,I hate to admit this but I like the music....yeah it is actually the best to dance to...(don't tell my wife!) I am a rock and roller at heart but enjoy all types of music...depending on my mood...Heh I actually listened to clasical on the way to work this morning....funny people say they hate classical but it used in so many movies....and people don't seem to mind it then.. I have to be in the right mood though..this morning I was. I stepped out side and the freshness of the new snow air just hit me.... it is 19 degrees F and the air is so crisp and seems so full of oxygen....so clean smelling...... The fresh blanket of snow lay gently on my front lawn with remnants of flakes creating a siloette on the trees...like an outline showing each branch...across the front lawn there is only one disturbance in the snow...A bunch of deer tracks. It is so funny to see as the tracks are of three or four deer and they meander around as if they are not sure where to go. Then in one spot it looks as if they huttled up to discuss their plans. Then they walked up the yard and crosssed the road... I laugh when I think of them discussing their plans...as they do the same exact thing every morning and every night....in the morning they meander around my yard, eat some apples (if there are some), then walk up and cross the road. At night they come back across the road, meander around my yard then head into the woods. Where do they go? it is like they can't make up their mind...which side of the road is better? I guess the grass is always greener...HUH? They are cute and we have plenty of pictures...funny they are not the same deer every year but they must be from the same family or tribe as the new young ones seem to know where the path is. I noticed on my way to work that most yards have no deer tracks....I wonder why they like my yard? Is it because of the apple trees? or perhaps they feel safe as I don't hunt? It must be something like that cause when I was younger on the farm, we also had deer and a moose once....every morning I would wake up and look out into the field from our kitchen window and watch the herd of deer meandering around.....I guess they like to meander..huh? This morning I had to slow down as a deer was crossing the road a few miles from my house....I found myself wondering if it was one of the ones that crossed my yard this morning.....and here he was crossing the road again.....he turned and looked at me as if to say thanks and then hoped through the snow into the woods.....I named him Raulph ....don't know why..probably was a female.. HAHAHA That would be funny huh? A girl named Raulph...well I could call her Raulphena.........Yeah that would work!!! OH!!!! It's my birthday today.....well not my real birthday, that is in January, but my WDC and I am 1 year old.... and already potty trained!!! |
| I love this snow....8 inches or so and mostly powder....seems like last year it rained after each storm......It feels so much more like christmas now......funning how that works.... Of course you people out in sunny land would probably not understand as you probably don't relate Christmas and snow......but we do here!! So Sunday I hooked up my plow to get ready for the snow....and it wouldn't work right....I spent a couple hours trouble shouting and found a relay/solenoid problem..so monday I ordered the part and last night when I went home I had to install it before plowing.... It didn't bother me much as those things can happen.....but while plowing my Alternator quit so I just barely got the plowing done before the batteries gave out.. Today I ordered the new Alt and will install it before the next storm..... I am not upset though...hey mechanical things break right? I still got my plowing done.....which I enjoy by the way!! And I will be ready for the next one.....I love my truck which has a 9 foot plow so it works real good..... After I was done, I sat in the living room eating supper and watch the snoe blowing and falling off the roof. It seemed so peaceful..just rambling around in the wind.....I can't wait to go snow shoeing....hopefully this weekend!! I feel bad though...I got some fantastic peanutbutter fudge from someone very sweet and guess what? I am eating the very last piece as I am writing this....I am surely going to get fat this way....well I did share a few pieces to the guys but ate at least 3/4 of it all by myself.....I shouldn't let people send me this stuff....I have no self control! When I first opened the pachage yesterday, I ate 3 pieces then by lunch I had eaten 5....then I had two after lunch for desert and a couple more on my way home........Am I a gluttun or what? Mental note to self: don't open pachages of sweets!!!! p.s. I am sad.....the fudge is all gone!!! |
| We have a huge snow storm today...it is 4:30 and already low visibility and driving snow.....I am so impatient....on my way to work I ecountered these slow drivers.......they were pushing me over the edge....I mean if they were that afraid of the weather conditions, why didn't they stay home? Now, i'm not talking about 5 or 10 miles and hour slower and the normal being careful........more like so slow that the plow truck is looking for a place to pass! So slow that birds land on the car for rest and refuse! So slow that the car thinks it is parked!! I believe and practice safe driving but sometimes too slow is just as unsafe....it causes anxiety, bunching of cars....a huge portential of problems as if one vehicle experiences a problem all the others end up involved.. I love snow though.....just get them people off the road....I mean 20 MPH in a 50 is very extreme!!! Oh well I am here and can watch the beauty from the window now.....well until it is time to head home...... Ski |
| I have been thinking a lot lately about many aspects of my life. what are the important things? What things should I change? It seems that I tend to ramble though time and allow things to snow ball abit and honesty lose control over my direction.....Then I find myself pulling hard on the reins and saying WHOA!!!!! So I am saying whoa right now......I feel the need to evaluate and regroup....actually it seems good to just threaten myself with this..at least i feel I am doing something. One of the things I was contemplating was not renewing my upgrade here....I am asking myself.....is this a value to me? Am I just wasting time? Honestly, I enjoy writing and reading blogs.....but is it why I came here? Is it constructive use of my time? I can answer both of those questions with a huge no. I came here to see if what I was writing had any value what so ever.. Sure people close to me said it was good....but what about the main stream? What about people who write and understand writing? would they see anything in my writing? Second, writing and reading blogs is surely not considered a good use of my time.....there are many things I could be doing that are plenty important......So what am I going to do? Well, even though the blog thing is not constructive outside my mind, and many people will tell me that, I find that I enjoy it, It brings some fun and peace to my busy world. Why can't I do something just for me? Is that too selfish? I sometimes discount my own thoughts and feeling to do for others....perhaps I should allow myself to do something just for me? My answer? I think I will keep doing the blog thing for a while longer.....though I will try to get some writing in too.......So I admit.......I like it ...and some people do like my writing.....well a couple anyway... |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 