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Some rainbows are bright, some gray, some in colors you've never seen. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The sun is always shining and there are always rainbows. If it's cloudy, the rainbow may be covered or in shades of gray. If the rain has just passed, the rainbow may be strong, clear, and brilliant. If the sky is crystal clear, the rainbow may appear in colors unexpected. Whatever is going on for you, there's a rainbow out there somewhere. Look for it. And if you find it, let it brighten your day. Keep it in your heart to tide you over until you see the next one. Gonna give this Johari Window thing a shot. If you think you know me or want to see what others think about me, follow the link then follow the directions. Life is words in motion: Flowing from mind, to hand, to page; Sung from heart, to voice, to ear; Life is words in motion. ~Douglas The Human Touch By Spencer Michael Free
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| (FTL day 4 - slightly delayed due to time zones) When I first saw the title for this entry, the first image to pop into my head was of the old animation cartoons when, on the farm, all would be nice and quite and everyone and everything was asleep. Then, like the crack of a whip, the sun shoot up over the distant horizon in full force, but still somewhat sleepy himself, as if he realized, of a sudden, that he was very late. And at his appearance, the world is all abuzz, hurrying toward the conclusion of the day already. Time does seem to crunch itself so that more has to fit into the same amount as before.  Not even childhood seem to have that "hazy, lazy" feel anymore. The dawn of youth is being so loaded down with activity that children have adult schedules by the time they are seven or eight years old now. And the pace shows no indication of slowing down.I mean, granted this is a fictional setting, but take a look at Star Trek: The Next Generation. In those episodes when the children of the on-board families are shown, you hear the kids talking about the various subjects they are having to take (or have taken) -- like calculus. That was a subject which was not available for me until my senior year in high school. And it wasn't that long before my youth when it was only available in college. If dawn is cracking now-a-days, I have to wonder what, on this morning of the day that I turn forty, what sunset will be sounding like in my latter years. |
| (FTL day 3) Even when my mother didn't want to go to church, I had been brought up to believe that it was an important part of life. And since I always lived close enough to the church, Mom allowed me to walk there for any of the services I wanted to. It would be up to me to get myself up in time and ready and out the door - neither she nor her second husband, nor my sister, would do anything to help me with that. Sunday was their day to sleep in. And so I continued through junior high and senior high school. Then when I went to college, I ended up going to a Southern Baptist school. Truth told, Liberty University, the school founded by the late Rev Jerry Falwell. And there we had not only religious studies every semester, but Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night services and mid-morning chapel every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And you had to have written permission to not attend any of those given services. Otherwise you'd earn demerits. What I found was that when I chose to attend service, I had no problem taking what was taught/preached at face value. And I knew my pastor on a first name basis, so if I had any questions, I could ask him face to face and have open discussions. He kept an open mind to be able to hear me out and then explained his position. Sometime we ended up having to agree to disagree and that was fine with the both of us. But when I was forced to attend, I became resentful and hard-hearted. Plus there was no way I would be able to talk to any of the ministers who preached, unless one of them happened to be one of my class teachers. Then, however, any conversations were strictly on a professor/student relationship and must deal with the class topic. Open discussions were discouraged. I found more and more "this is this and that is that and there it cannot be any other way" the longer I went there. It was also during this time when I was slowly beginning to comprehend that I was gay. And even during my youth, I had no personal doubt that it was wrong. It was all I knew. But as I grew up and began to have more and more contact with the outside world, I found out that maybe I was wrong. And by extension, the faith that I grew up with and through was wrong. And at college, I came to believe that maybe it wasn't so much my faith, as my religion. Something which eventually began to be proved to me over and over again at college. The more dogma I heard, the more I felt these people up in the podium were little more than automatons repeating what they had been taught and they never bothered to question any of it themselves. So I began a nearly two decade personal search for what the truth may really be. It certainly wasn't in religion. For me "religion" was simply a sanctified word for "politics" - and I had little real use for that, too. I lived life without much church, or religion for several years. But what I did do was talk to many people of many faiths and belief systems: from pagan to cult, from traditional to nontraditional. I read books aside from the Bible. I became self-taught to who/what/where/why God was/is/will be. I now attend church again. A non-traditional non-denominational Christian church which was founded to bring the GLBT community back to God. Now, I don't necessarily believe everything taught there, but the leaders of that church don't expect their membership to take everything on faith. They want us to find the personal truth for ouselves - and they will be there to help answer questions. What I have found on my own is a blend of truths which have been shattered and scattered throughout a variety of religions and belief systems. It is not that I am picking and choosing my religion; it is more that I have questioned, and tested, and found what is truth - for me. And that truth just happens to be so widely scattered that I had to bring it back together within myself. Religion by rote is, as OGG describes, wearing "a halo in reverse". Find your own truth between yourself and God. Let God tell you what God knows you need and be open to those words and promptings. They may surprise you when put up against what you were taught to believe. My halo may appear crooked, but at least it is on right-side up. |
| {FTL day 2) Webster's Unabridged Dictionary of the American Language (2001)defines censorship as, "the act or practice of censoring". Well, isn't that revealing. Let's try another. The New International Webster's Pocket Dictionary (1998): Censorship is not even listed. Hmmm. One more try. The American College Dictionary (1963, 1964) "The act of censoring." This is getting ridiculous. And dictionary.com wasn't any better. I was finally able to get something more substantial with dict.org. Listen to this: From WordNet (r) 2.0
And then there's this, also from dict.org. From Moby Thesaurus II by Grady Ward 1.0
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Did you notice the first synonym in that last entry? "Abbreviation"? It would seem that definitions can also be abbreviated, not just a single word. (A funny take on the definition -especially with the second synonym is "abridgment" - when you consider the first dictionary I used was supposed to be unabbridged.) So if Americans can't even trust an "Unabridged Dictionary" to not be censored, what else that we read and rely on to not be censored actually is. ( I hope that made sense.) Whether we want it or not, censorship is around us all the time. And we Americans, the people of the "Land of the Free" put up with it, accept it, and even encourage it.Is it any wonder that we sometimes seem ignorant of information the rest of the world considers "common sense"? But it's all for our own good, isn't it? Part of allowing for other, more important freedoms? Like respecting other people and their belief, backgrounds, and up-bringings and letting them live freely? I challenge you to watch the words you use over the next twenty-four hours and see how often you censor yourself; when you pause to reconsider the words you are about to use, or change your overall thought so as not to offend someone - anyone - else. Or when you stay silent when you really want to say something for any reason whatsoever. Watch how often you practice censorship on yourself. As Americans, and perhaps even with other nationalities, we are not so free as we once thought we were. And it all begins with ourselves. |
| (FTL day 1) Personally, I think the better title for the original entry could possibly be "what's mine is yours". My replying entry could just as easily be "your's and only your's" or even "what's your's is your's - and you can keep it". My personal opinion on what Kelsey is doing is that it amounts to very little more than baby peddling, an act that, by definition, is illegal in many places. And on top of that, if someone really wants a baby, there are plenty in the various state systems that are in desperate need of adoption. The money spent on paying a person's college expenses or supplementing an income for the carrier's base reason of "just to have a little extra money" could be just as easily put aside into a savings account and, with interest, pay for the adopted child's college education or have a trust fund set up for them when they become an adult. In my mind, this is all just another symptom of today's "throw-away" society. That said, even if I were a woman in need of the money that a surrogacy carrier would/could net me, I still wouldn't do it. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about making that decision. Maybe once upon a time I thought about having children of my own. But after having been an "uncle" to several kids of several couples, I can honestly say (and do with some frequency) that I do not want children. It may be considered shallow or even callous, but for me, kids and pets are fine as long as they can go home with their parents at the end of the day. I may have the patience of Job, but not when it comes to dealing with children 24/7. And I've had plenty of opportunity to prove that. "Maybe it's not so much the kid's fault you feel that way as it is the parents'." I hear you saying that. My simple response is, no. The parents whose children I have been (and still am) "Uncle" to had various levels of parenting skills. Some were fabulous parents, others not so much. No, it was dealing with the kids themselves. Right now, the only kids I want to be an Uncle to, are my sister's. And I don't want to be responsible for other people - even at almost 40 years old, I'm still not responsible enough for myself. Though I do manage enough to stay out of trouble. So no kids for me. Neither adopted nor natural. You are welcome to keep them. And if you really want kids and are unable to have any yourself for whatever reason, take it as a sign from God or whatever higher power you may believe in that you may be called to help change the national throw-away mentality in regards to these small humans. Wow. I never realized just how strongly I felt about this until just now when I actually took the time to think it through as I write about it. |
If you are a Dr. Who fan and have not seen Sci-Fi channel's June 6th episode of Dr. Who yet. Stop Reading. And go find another blog to read. Better yet, flip through something else in my port.  I can't believe they did it. I just can't believe it. The creator's (at least the current writers) of the series have managed to give the last of the Time Lords a true daughter. A young woman in the line of his blood - complete with two hearts and the same wild spirit of all previous incarnations of him. The story in and of itself was good. Monocellular regeneration through some sort of rapid computer-assisted genetic manipulation brought about a full grown woman complete with the battle skills and knowledge of the people who build the re"generation" machine. Now, I won't go into all the details of the story,and I will leave the twist of story resolution for you to discover by watching the episode itself. But I do want to say this. Near the end of the episode, Jenny (The Doctor's Daughter - also the name of the episode) was shot and killed while defending her dad. After the funeral of Jenny, The Doctor and his two assistants took off back for earth. But in a planetside flashback, Jenny, after being in the rays of a terrafirm cleared sun for a while, she comes back to life. Regenerated like a Time Lord - only this time, she has managed to keep the same body she was "born" with. I imagine it was most likely because they want The Doctor to recognize her the next time they bring the two characters together. I also see, now, the possibility of bringing back the Time Lord race. Whether or not the writers ever do, I'm sure that at some point they will think about it. Especially if they ever give Jenny more background information about her race. She still has enough of a connection with the people who gave her birth through the machine. (If that doesn't make any sense to you, maybe that will be a good thing. I certainly barely feel as if I understood what I just wrote.  )Anyway. My original thought remains true: I can't believe they did it: they gave The Doctor a daughter, killed her off, and brought her back to life (without The Doctor's knowledge). Wow! What a twist. And possibly a turn off for some die-hard Doctor Who fans. |
| ... nothing is! Between the 15 for 15 contest, 500 words a day, and now Follow the Leader, I have enough daily inspirations to do some sort of writing everyday during the next three weeks. Then add on all the various contests I usually participate in (Coloring the World, Inspirations just to name two) I see very tired fingers and an overworked keyboard for the month of June. As for today's activities, Today was the first staff meeting I was required to participate in (officially) at my job. And from the sounds of things, this temp job may extend all the way through August. What a chance to get office experience under my belt and learn various computer programs, not to mention the operations of a not for profit business. The fun thing about this particular staff meeting is that, while I did not have much input, what input I did have was heard and potentially will be instituted. Talk about a morale booster. And even though tomorrow is supposed to be my day off, I will be going in to watch the office while everyone else is out throughout the day. Only a part day though, so I will still have plenty of time to do some writing - and editing. There is one poem "Body Betray" that I still need to work on before entering it into the Coloring the World contest. And there are a couple of stories that I started last week that I would like to try and get more done on - as well as Unguarded. I have not touched that since before the raffle and I really need to get more done on it. Bring more cohesion to it and link the various chapters I have that are separated by too much time. Anyway. After work today, I came by home just long enough to get my email here and sign up for Follow the Leader (journaling contest). I still have very little idea what I'm supposed to do, but I will read over the instructions a couple more times. Fortunately, I am not the first one up to bat on that so I will also be able to get some practice in on it first before my day as the leader comes along. I then had to make my way about three miles down the road to a restaurant (that is now permanently closed - we were the last customers and private party before the building is torn down for yet another new 27 story condo complex). It was the end of the season party for the Bayou City Performing Arts. Full of drinks, friendship, and review of the past year in a video presentation; a delicious dinner, door prizes and honoring important people of the past year. The two most well received recipients were our executive assistant, who retired this year, and our Artistic Director. His gift was notification that he was nominated for the GALA Legacy Award. This particular award is internationally recognized among choruses and choirs - particular GLBT and friend choruses and choirs. Among these circles, it is the equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize or the Presidential Medal of Honor. One held in high regard indeed. He was so surprised and taken aback by this notice, that he was literally speechless and could not do anything more than cry. And this from a man who is normally without a word for any occasion. I walked back from the dinner afterwards and while I should not have, I stopped by a Borders bookstore and made a purchase - the third book of a series I had been reading (The Ranger's Apprentice by John Flannagan) and a "kit" book about Leonardo diVinci that includes several activities to do related to the great inventor, artist, scientist, architect, and more. I guess I'll consider that one of my birthday presents to myself. Speaking of which, if you saw my current handle, did you figure out the "riddle"? 6 minus 11 equals 40? Actually it literally reads "6-11=40" which is month (hyphen) day (being when I turn this) age. Well, I guess that is all for now. as I said, I have another day tomorrow (well, who doesn't? ). Ta-ta for now. |
| I've had a lot of fun running my raffle, but I am so glad that it is over for the time being. The set up was a bit of a challenge, and making sure I didn't make (m)any mistakes in assigning the ticket numbers was enough to leave me befuddled if there were a lot to do. And then there was the constant updating of the prize bank and the percentage breakdowns -- I'm so very thankful I was ever good with math (and had a calculator handy for some of those more difficult totals). But to wrap things up. Sheesh! I think it took me something like six or seven hours to get the pages updated (and keep them updated as the winners wrote back with who they were sharing their prizes with), contacting all the winners, the winners friends, the prize donors and the prize donors again when I found out who the friends were for each prize. Still, I think that after a few days away from the whole thing, I will soon be ready to run it again. I have already decided that I am changing the groups that will be sharing in the main prize pot - probably to some long running contests or specialty groups. I'm not gonna worry about the specifics on that just yet, though. And, sorry Sapphy, but I am also going to change the person who I will share the operator's 15% cut with too. Gotta spread the love around, doncha know. As of right now, all I can say for certain is that the next round of Share & Share Alike will run either in July or August. (How's that for definite planning?) I am also hoping that since this first round went over so well, I'll be able to get more and bigger prizes next time. I have already had one or two people say they can't wait for it to run again. A definite confidence booster. (Hopefully not an ego inflater, though.) At any rate, I just need to hear back from three of the winners about who they are sharing their prizes with. Then I can just leave things be for a while. I trust all the prize donors to fulfill their prizes, so I'm not going to even think that someone will have a complaint about any of that. In fact, I've already seen Joshiahis  contact two of his three winners and sharees (sharers?) and fleckgirl is all set to get things going on her end. I've also already sent out all the winner and shared winning GPs and the raffle benefactor GPs and paid myself and 🦄ðŸ³ï¸â€ðŸŒˆSapph . So the bank is officially drained and empty.And let me state it here and now: This raffle came up just under 500K in the main GP prize pool, so my goal for next time is 700K-750K GPs in the main prize pool. Eventually, I would love to be able to have that go up to 1 million, but I will leave that for dreaming and experience. But wouldn't that be something? To be able to have the first place winning ticket take 250K, the second ticket take 200K, and give four charities or groups 100K each? (And the 75K in my pocket and a friend's pocket would be a nice thing, too.) Sweet!! Well, that's all for now, I guess. Another day done, and what a day it has been. So one more big congrats to all the winners, sharers, and charities and groups who have won today. And a majorly kudo's filled THANK YOU to all who made donations of any kind and bought tickets for my first raffle. Without you all, it would not have been such an extraordinary event. Whew! So glad it's over. |
| I can scarce believe that it has already been a week since my last entry into this blog. Well, almost "scarce"... no, not even that. Even though life has settled down somewhat, I just haven't had the inspiration to do much writing lately. Perhaps because I have done so much writing over the past three months, my muse may have decided to take a vacation. He's not used to being worked so much. Granted, compared to a professional author, 55-60K words over three months may not be much. But it has certainly worked my muse to the point of exhaustion. Hopefully he'll be back well before my birthday next month. If he does come back, I'll probably give him the day off then -- but only if he returns by Sunday. We'll see. Hmm... time to get ready to go help a friend with some yard/garden work. So I'll keep this short and sweet. Take care. Until next time.... |
| I would say "With so much time to myself, I don't know what to do." But I think this may turn into one of those situations where you would want to get back to work to have a vacation from your vacation. Today won't be quite so bad. Nor will Monday, I think. Today I plan on getting a bunch of writing done and maybe a bit of R&R, too. And basically the same on Monday. Though I do have to run by the office to pick up some posters to take to GMCH rehearsal on Monday. But Saturday, I have an all-day (8:30 to 3:00 or later) Bible Study class for the retreat I am a leader for in October. Then Sunday is church. But since I don't have to do anything for either service, I'll just go for second service and then to handbell rehearsal afterward. So perhaps this weekend isn't so busy as I had been this past Tuesday to Tuesday week (Ugh!) but I do have plans for a lot of it. I know it's been a while since she came by, but I never did make mention of when MaryLou came by and we went to the HMFA for the Pompeii exhibit. I felt she did a good job in describing our evening in her blog, so I didn't. Bad reasoning, I know, but there it is. There was a lot of interesting thing on display, and interesting history being relayed via the "individual walking tour" - you know the type that has a digitally recorded tour guide that you punch in exhibit numbers to hear about what you are looking at. (OK. Not the most fluent description. But what do you want before the first cup of coffee. ) Mary, Jeff and I each had our favorite parts of the event. Mine was actually the individual and melted lumps of coins from way back when. I used to collect coins (still have a small collection of international coins and three US pennies dating back to the late 1890's).After the museum, we went to Niko Niko's for dinner - a popular Greek restaurant in the Montrose district of Houston. The food was great and (IMHO) very deserving of the multiple awards it has received over the years from both OutSmart magazine and the Houston Press, the local free alternative news rag. Prices were moderate, but the quality and quantity of food was well worth it. I even managed to make two meals out of mine. Mary and Jeff also brought over 5 boxes of books they were clearing out from their house - about 180-200 books in total. I had to do some creative rearranging on my four bookshelves, but of the 80-85% of the books that I decided to keep for the time being, I've managed to pack almost all of them away. And since I am a vociferous reader, I'm currently reading 6 of those books now, including the one and only book that is strictly on loan from her. That book, The Picture Of Dorian Gray, is interesting so far, but I seem to have had the wrong impression of what the book is about - unless I haven't gotten into it far enough yet. I'm also reading "Who the Heck Was Oscar Mayer?", a book on self-esteem, "Fool's Errand", "The Scriptures of Budah", and Aristotle's "Poetics". The 15% or so of the books I'm not going to keep I may try to get to the used book store this weekend (although a I have passed on a few L'Amour books on to a friend who enjoys westerns). Oh, crap! I just remembered that I have a borrowed video I need to watch before tomorrow, too. Well, chalk that up to "things to do today".  Toodles! |
| If you were to come down to Houston, Texas, right about now, you would not realize that it was the end of May. Instead, you might think it was the middle of July - as many Houstonians are thinking right about now. After a relatively pleasant, if slightly cooler than normal, springtime, we are already suffering high humidity and temperatures in the mid-nineties. Yesterday was a bitch as we broke a record high with a temp of ninety-five and today was just slightly cooler at ninety-three. Not that I am complaining - very much. I enjoy warm(er) temperatures as long as the humidity is low. After my emergency room visit this past weekend, I got verification that my normal internal body temperature is cooler than the average person's. So I guess you could say that I am cold-blooded. No wonder I could never really tolerate the winters up north. Oh, I thoroughly enjoy the visual aspects of having four actual and distinguishable seasons. I love the occasional break in temperature, and all the color changing leaves and the white blanket that Mother Nature shrouds herself in are both visually beautiful. But I am certainly more comfortable in the warmer climes. Just not necessarily the warmth and moisture that is common to the southern Gulf Coast region. Maybe one day I will find my way to the Virginia or North Carolina coastal or near-coastal region. As things stand, though, I think I will just stickily stick things out here for a while. Too many friends and organizations that I love dearly to want to leave just yet. |
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