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385 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Undying Love Kiss  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
"Undying Love Kiss" (intriguing title) has potential but kinda wanders around. It is rather difficult to know what the writer has in mind here, there are questions and soul-searching and even a lament as to the writing itself: "What am I doing writing this (sic) stupid rhymes?" Loves seems to be at point here, as with: "Please can anyone show me how falling in love feel (sic)-" Here it should be "feels". My favorite line is, "For we are many in this universe-" First thing to do is go through and correct all the errors ("this stupid rhymes" becomes "these stupid rhymes"; "gunna end" becomes "gonna end", "man made" becomes "man-made" and so forth), and then rework it so that it flows better and reads clearer. Persevere.
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Review of Little Children  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Little Children" is a fun poem that looks at little boys and girls and their lives and all the interactions that can come about. There are lots of images, from chocolate to scattered toys to slimy frogs to walls splashed with ice-cream and jelly. Children are a joy, we are informed right from the start, then taken through the colorful events of all the interactions, a whirlwind of busy and disruptive "Little Children" things. All this affects the parents' vocal cords, because it is a real joy these little children. Without them life would be dull and colorless. Poor cats.
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Review of Cope  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, and a warm welcome. I enjoyed reading your poem. There are some good images and I like the scenes of the river and canoes. There are some good lines. But in line (17) I think it should be "somebody's" not "somebodies". It is a nice poem about coping, your therapy in your lonely world.
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Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I had trouble with "The Birds and the Bees", not because of the writing (the writing is fine), but because of the subject. This is a dark poem (the writer lets us know that.) I had to read this poem three times for the full impact and understanding to set in; perhaps I didn't want to. Yet in reviewing, one has to set aside emotional prejudice, and judge the writing, not the "feel" one has from the subject. Ergo, this I do. Here we have 16 lines of sadness, two stanzas separated by one single line for effect (I read it thus). The writer effectively paints vivid images, and the writing style mirrors the very point and thesis of this piece spot on. Just a few minor things here; I would not repeat the title in the frame. That's just me. But the writing in this piece does the job, all right. This site has lots of writings on flowers and love and kisses and cute critters. But life what it is (and death), well, we cannot put our heads in the sand. This needs to be read, so read it. The are many different ways to cry.
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Review of funny wunny 3  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good imagination and funny. This is short and sweet and a good story. The ending did make me laugh. The images presented are vivid and clear. My only suggestions would be to tighten up the spacing (that's just me; as you have it it's not wrong), and correct of few spelling errors in the body, typos, like, "t heir" and so forth. Finger slips. Good job, write on. (Spacing is okay, forget I said that.)
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Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Writing about Mars can be fun and fascinating. It's always been a source of intrigue, and fear; it would be the ultimate alien invasion. As to this piece, here are a few suggestions. In the first line, "...compelling 2 min.", minute should be written out. In the fifth line, "under Mars surface", should be, "under the Martian surface"; in line (6), "them selves"----> "themselves". Line (7), there should be a comma after, "everyone" and "ran" should be "run". In line (10) there ought to be a comma after "interview". And in line (11) something should follow, "secret", say a semi-colon. There needs to be a stoppage here. Keep plugging away, keep looking up.
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Review of "Ship Wrecked"  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
In "Ship Wrecked" we are in an emotional ocean, as the writer takes us into a storm, with the ship going under. I feel like I'm on Poe's ship that is going down in the maelstrom. The writer colors her soul vividly as it sinks, "beneath the tides of life." We have sadness and desperation, yet there is a sudden contrast that further anchors this poem to an ocean of excellence. The ship may be wrecked, but the poetry is unsinkable.
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Review of Purple Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely poem, soft, pleasing, melodic. Love is compared to "Purple Rain". You feel the rain (love) on your face. The flow of this poem is easy, and the lines are alive with rhythm, "The samba drizzle leaves the feeling of pure generous love." The only cold in this rain is line (8), "...the beautiful out come." And I think "breath taking" should be "breath-taking." Otherwise, I'll stand in the rain, for with rain like this, who needs an umbrella?
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Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Imaginary Umbrella" (great title) is a good poem about a relationship projected on the screen of rain and a storm. It is interesting and the writer convinces us of the sincerity in the pleas made; "Don't let this awful storm raise its hands to you". There is a climax of emotion here, as the powerful ending then comes about, with a punch. It is of life and relationship, mind to mind, heart to heart. Life is high anxiety, "But you can't fear every bolt of lightening". I feel this poem. There are these to correct: line (4) "you" should be "your"; line (11) "you" should be "your"; line (23) "a live" should be "alive". Thanks for sharing, write on.
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Review of I Want  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Excellent rhythm, imagery, rhyme scheme, and sensuality. One can feel this well-conceived poem; it's almost like a song. The are so many good lines: "All breezes and birdsong", "...glide through your garden", "...silk pearls and dewdrops". The sensuality is strong like sensual man, gentle like lady dove; I'm in the mood for love.
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Review of My gentle promise  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I had to read "My Gentle Promise" a number of times before finally gathering it in, I hope. The writer has dedicated this to an elder sister, who, from the poem, has passed, apparently. The writer's promise is that they won't, "say goodbye/Until my dying breaath (sic)..." The writer speaks of, "unspoken words" and a "noisy silence" ( this is gathered through the volumes of unspoken words). The writer "hears" these strange sounds (in the silence) in lots of unspoken words, "In the radiance of tour(sic) eyes/And passion of your lips"< ---(A period should be here.) There are some good poetic expression in the first stanza; the sister can no longer speak: ("Though your tongue's hidden/In the pit of your belly"). It does take a few reads, though. Needs a little oil. The second stanza is much more direct and clear. The last three lines have power. This poem is well conceived, has some good lines, but has a number of errors. Line (4): "You" should be "Your"; line (7): "tour" should be "your"; line (12): "breaath" should be "breath". The title is very good, and creativity has an active tongue.
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Review of Step  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This short poem takes 2 well know sayings and combines them and then poses a question; it is philosophic. In posing the question the writer urges us to think. The flow is good and the tone is serious. There is no imagery or metaphor or simile here. It is basically a "think" poem and it is fine. 11 lines, 41 words total. The writer looks at a synergy of action; if you stated a thousand mile journey with a, "single step", and walked a mile in their shoes, "to know someone", then "Imagine where you'd be", if they were done, "at the same time." We would get to know them; we'd begin the journey.
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Review of I Am Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
"I Am Poem" is 16 total lines long, divided into 3 stanzas, 5 lines, 5 lines and then 6 lines. It begins, "I am myself and nothing more." This line is repeated 3 more times; it ends each stanza. Every single line of this poem begins with "I", which is of note. The writer wonders about death, notices the sounds of the city, and wants to see all his family together again, "in one place." Fear is admitted to, and the writer uses a good simile: "...like a child curled up in a dark corner." That a good image too. Mostly we have random thoughts about life and the writer's hopes and aspirations in life which are tied together fairly well. The point is we are who we are, nothing more, yet that is really what it's all about; for each of us it is a journey of self-discovery. We are who we are and nothing more. The writer understands the ways things have to be, even in disagreement. This is wise discernment, very cool.
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Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is wonderful, well done! I also am a veteran with a disability. I am glad to meet you, and read your work. Best from me to you...Richard
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Review of Deadly Dearest  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Here we have a rather disturbing poem (you can't help but feel for the writer), with pain and a crying out. There is turmoil here..."screaming, balling, yelling," The writer is having problems with parents and so puts those feelings into words. This poem consists of 6 stanzas, 5 lines each. The first 3 stanzas begin with, "Love", but that then changes to, "Deadly" for the last three, which is a clever and interesting contrast. The writer wonders about love: "Could it be any worse?" Also, that it is, "Lost in translation," then soon the writer is breaking. "Oppressed to fill empty spaces" is a nice line. When we get to "Deadly" it becomes, "Marooned on mountains and apart" which is a fine image. The writer wonders, "Can't you see your (sic) choking?" (That should be "you're.) A lot of emotion here, and life is emphasized: "Draining so much life," and, "Things in my life, my life, my life," as if a plea. I hope things work out. In the second stanza we have the line, "Voices horse," (After this screaming, bawling, yelling,); This should be, "hoarse", unless of course Mr. Ed is auditioning again.
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Review of I'm Tired  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
In, "I'm Tired", the writer rants about ignorance, hardships, hatred, the unexplained (that we are told to understand), and, in the stanza prior to that, sickness that, "eats our lovers our friends and family alive." There are five stanzas, each addressing a bane, and then, at the end all alone, "I am just tired." A effective punctuation on this emotion filled poem.

Ignorance is first; right away the writer lets us know that it's, "not the kind that is stupid", but rather it's the kind that, "refuses to see." In other words, closed-mindedness. The writer points out the damage that can be inflicted, the lack of sympathy, and personal alienation. We are told that it even, "burns down our homes". The fire department is not needed; counselors are, for it's the destruction of relationships. We are told that this ignorance, "shows no love" and it, "shows the true self that the self cannot see". How dare it do that.

Hardships are next, but, "Not the kind that is money." These are the kind that, "destroys us", that, "takes away love" , that, "shows no mercy". These hardships really do a number on us, they can turn our lives into, "black tar pits/swirling and bubbling, swallowing our souls/into deep, suffocating blackness". I don't want my soul swallowed, nor surrounded, nor engulfed, or whatever.

"I'm Tired" now goes on to hatred. It is the kind that is, "blind to reason", and that, "hates on everything it does not understand." The writer is very graphic here: "...eats us whole and spits us out". A lot of bad stuff, the reference to homes again, being ruined. The writer even refers to hate thusly: "the hate that hates itself..." I guess hate is sharpened teeth biting for the sadism.

More graphic writing is seen as we move on to sickness. The writer makes it clear that it's not the sickness of the mind, but the, "sickness of the body that kills and destroys/all that it touches." But I am a little confused because he says this is a sickness that, "claims the innocent souls and lives/of those that have not yet lived." Is this a reference to abortion? If so, then the sickness being pathological would seem unfitting; most would give an argument of a "mental sickness" here, but perhaps the writer has something else in mind that I am missing.

Lastly, we come to the unexplained, which the writer is tired of because, "we are told to understand, but (it) shows no understanding." The writer tells us that the unexplained, "builds and changes with the sicknesses and hardships." He's also tired of the, "ignorance that supports it." Wrapping up, we get a reference to a, "blackness that eats away at our hearts with no mercy, yet is filled with so much/strength that we cannot fight." Good grief, terminal cancer maybe, but to put this on the back of the unexplained is, well, quite unexplained.

This poem takes my breath away. It is free of error and is interesting. I can only imagine the writer, after penning the final, "I am just tired." being just that, and flowing like a river of emotion from his chair to the floor as if someone stole his bones.
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Review of Phoenix  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Here we have a quite graphic poem about an abusive ex. The intensity of this dark relationship is shown by the writer with intense images. We have "Broken hands", "Slit wrist", "Ripping my heart out", and "Broken bones" to cite a few. These are strong images; the writer is full of emotion. The writer was indeed hurt badly and plots revenge. We often bleed in life, we sometimes write because we bleed. This is the case. "Phoenix" is a dark poem full of pain. It is pretty well-structured, and I would have rated it higher except for the spelling errors: (Wich), (travaling), (lonly). And there is not one speck of punctuation, maybe the writer does this for effect yet the poem is one long, intense cry and doesn't come up for a breath! Whew! Could be by design. Lastly, the "BRING YOU DOWN" at the very end, being all caps overdoes it; yes, the writer wants to emphasize that he will get back at this person, to rise from the ashes and get his revenge, but it would be more effective lower case. The louder you shout, the less you say, and when you scream, you say nothing. Keep writing, expression rules.
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Review of Unfinished  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
A poem with potential, some good lines but you need to correct these: (unfortunetly)--> unfortunately; (rhythmetic)--> rhythmic; (christ)--> Christ.
Since his realizations were, "all but too late" I assume he'll now get to count BTU's with Satan for all eternity. How fortunate that he was given a glimpse of the "heavenly gate." Heavenly policy: not only torture in hell forever, but a "HA HA, see what you're missing!" before being cast into that conflagration lake...how wonderful.
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Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem has an interesting title. "The Spiritual Lantern" is about the oncoming winter amidst autumn. It begins with the sky reaching down with, "cold, gray fingers." That's a good image. We get a picture of the lantern, despite the veil, lighting the trees with, "autumn boast." We have colors: gold, crimson. The writer paints some fine images. This 11 line poem flows pretty good and is sharp and succinct. There is rhyme. But in line (9) we have the word, "betwixt", which frankly I have not seem before in a poem. It slips. The ending is sharp and focused, driving home the point of the poem and of course the title. Yet there is ice in (9); myself, I would have said, "in between" and gone from there. Still, poetic, well thought out. Kudos on the title.
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Review of My World of Black  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Here we have a sad and dark poem where the writer laments his black world. This poem is evocative. It is 24 lines, 6 stanzas of 4 lines each. The flow is good and the tone is dark, of course. We even have a warning at the end: "my world is one/where one should never go..." Obviously the writer does not wish this woeful world on anyone else. There is a loss here, evidently a fair amount of loss and that brings a feeling of sadness; here the poem has succeeded. The black is painted with a broad brush: "i have waited too long", piques one's emotion, I find myself saying, "Why?" The writer cries out for the ones he, "will never get back." There is pain here. My favorite part is: "i sit in the rain/lost in my thoughts/surrounded in shadows/and battles i fought"
The flow here is very good. Overall the flow is good with just a few bumps. Line (7) is out of flow, seems too long compared to the rest. Indeed, I like the rapid fire pace of this poem as this seems in character with the tone. It is to the point, no fluff, no beating around the bush. I would have the last line, "where one should not go" just for flow tightening but maybe I'm being too much a a stickler here. "My World of Black" produces emotion and therefore succeeds.
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Review of my friend  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The writer composed a sincere poem about a friend, assuring the friend that they will always be there. The writer didn't think that they would have a "special place" in the heart due to the fact that they, "never let anyone in to get to know the real me." This poem is a very basic, simple 8 line poem with consecutive forced rhyme. It is sincere, honest. In line (7), the first "your" should be "you're". Thanks for posting, read poerty and keep at it.
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Review of HOME  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is something soothing about this; not only is it well-written, it is comforting. My home should be as comforting...
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Review of Stuck  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
In this short 7 line poem the writer looks for motivation. The writer admits something is wrong, but in line 2 the writer "cannot say." Is it that he is unable to say, or not willing to say? Later on the writer admits to being "stuck in a groove." So probably the writer is unable to say. With the brutal honesty admitted to at the end I should think that the writer would say, if able. In line 5 we read, "Every day i (sic) feel this way"...A rut for sure, perhaps some depression? Then the ending comes with a blast of self-flagelation; a friend is needed to admonish, motivate, kick some butt, for the writer's own good. Tough love. Maybe he's near the door right now, or at the bowling alley. C'mon, get those legs a'movin'! The little i's are okay if consistent; here they are not. Maybe this was done intentionally to show the writer's dilemma of being in an abyss of stagnation...? Perhaps so. At any rate, we have some forced rhyme here, lines 1 and 2, 3 and 4, and then 6 and 7 with line 5 sharing some rhyme with long line 6, the standout line of the poem employing that F-word (yeah, you know...fire-truck).
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Review of Freedom  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A very wonderful tribute, very well put. All of us who served, we humbly accept the recognition and thanks.
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Review of I AM  Open in new Window.
Review by Teargen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
"I AM" touches the reader with spiritual warmness. It begins with a question of recognition, then assure us that this is there despite life's negatives. There are some vivid images, metaphors, "cloak", "glow of a candle", "crashing of the waves", "setting of the sun". These all give assurance to the reader, that we are part of the universe, indeed that universe resides in us all, the power and love of "I AM." The level and dimension to which this resonates is the very core of individuality, transcending even the "physical desires of the flesh." The point is that of connection, of love. Inspiring, heartfelt, uplifting.
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