I shine now, though the laws of physics cannot explain reversal for a former dwarf star.
The loneliest happy person you'll ever meet, if you don't catch me when I'm the saddest person who needs to be alone.|
"Music Vid Links"
In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted?
Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice.
Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head.
"It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely."
"You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself."
"...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger
Time to reinvent, remap, and redress my approach to writing & life...before it's too late!
Reinventing myself from start to finish. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.
|Here's another type of reviewing style I notice. Instead of taking the time to read and react to something an author shares, a person starts out with one line about the item and then goes on about personal experiences, memories or nostalgia indirectly related. And then, the reviewer comes back around to wrap up with some sort of good job or compliment and tada! You got enough characters for a legit, long enough review.
I could write a myriad of responses about my own experiences until the cows come home (they don't come home here - no barn). How can anyone feel they are doing writers a service by trying to meet some review quota by type-garbling a bunch of disjointed memories that do not serve the author in a review? I couldn't conceive of doing this. I know I will ramble within a review at times, but pull it together after a few lines.
I know reviewing is hard, intimidating for some. Sometimes, we're afraid to say the wrong thing (because these are people's word babies), but it's easier to idly go on about something we know as feedback? You just have to read and notice how it makes you feel, if you can connect to your gut feelings. Start typing those word bubbles for thoughts in the dialogue box. Look again at the item you've read, scan through, focus on a few favorite parts. You'll find more thoughts bubble up. And, the more you pay attention and review, the more phrases you can turn in those reviews.
Have you read any good reviewers lately? There are writers with good comments that are universal knowledge that you can tap into for whatever you like to review.
Just think of it from the other end. How are these writers going to see that review (how are they supposed to react? with your recollections of your summer abroad or the 1984 trip to Grandma's house in Kentucky?
I think this is a fair criticism. I'm not trying to put anyone down. It's common decency to writers who take pride in their effort.
|I have to save this review for posterity. I felt pretty good about the effort, though I'm sure this review will be largely ignored. It's quite possible, it will no exist in the future. So, copy and past here:
Review of "Betrayal"
"I read "Betrayal" through twice and I could see potential with what you offer here. If I can make a few suggestions that I think would help you with this poignant, short statement of a free verse-style poem.
There isn't need for punctuation like the ellipses, which is the dot, dot, dot at the end of a line. This is not intended to be used as a pause or break, but the omission of something. I think you intended to pause, which happens naturally when we get to the end of that short line, have a break, as eyes move down to the next line, and pick up where it's left off. I don't know that a dramatic pause would be needed, either. I think it's natural to have no punctuation there at all.
The semi-colon in line two also was unnecessary. In a sentence that again breaks, you start the third line with a preposition which also does not require punctuation before, usually. You are good to roll through from line one to line three without any stops, as line breaks in poems can serve as natural pauses.
Now, because I suggested no punctuation was necessary before that last line, you can get away with no punctuation altogether until the four lines stop at a period. I wasn't always the best with punctuation but have learned a lot since being here. One way to look at the third line is to either put commas before and after it, or none at all. That's what's great. The poet is the master of their own sentence here. I mean, that's what it is. You wrote a sentence and broken into four lines. Each line is separate, because each part needs to be reflected upon -- with how each fragment lends to the statement that is poem.
As to the poem itself, I see a portrayal of a moment. It's quite possibly in aftermath that the narrator is delivering that final line about how something can be deceiving. What is it? We don't know. We don't have to know. It's like sage wisdom about experience. Everything sets up for that final line, which could be stated a bit better and more cleanly in my mind. I'm just the reader.
Here's what I think:
Lose the uppercase letters on lines two through four, or all, if you want to suggest this inability to control that situation. lowercase is supposed to imply feeling small or weak or helpless, per se. Uppercase is just stronger, bolder. I'll throw in something else that's fun to try, so:
my innocence welcomed
everyone with a smile
betrayal (could be, would be, was) in disguise.
To me those are the three choices that would make that last line land a little better. My favorite might be 'would be'. *Smile* The indent on line three acts like a pivotal moment, it acts like someone thrown off by what is about to happen. Just my two cents, if you're interested in using that.
Ultimately, a reader will get a wonderment after reading: what kind of a smile was that? For an actor, they have a direction for every type of smile. In my head, I'm going through several I've witnessed in situations where an innocent is seeing something unfold that is informing that smile to curve or change a certain way. The way you have described here has done that for me, not with an adjective, but with a situation.
Put this all together; with the scene, the retrospect, the innocent lamb about to be betrayed, there is a lot for a person to draw on from such precision and brevity. It's a very worthy effort and one I laud you for. Might want to make just a few edits, offer it up to those who you regard having an understanding of poetry, and hopefully they'll be as pleased as me."
I've been working on line breaks and punctuation for many years and am still learning. This poem and review helped me crystallize some visions about this process to producing a poem with focus on punctuation.
|Had no idea how grumpy and angry I get when I stop exercising. Just 45 minutes in fresh air with a basketball followed by some brisk raking and feel it leaving me like the sweat purged from my body. Why I don't do things in moderation and get so consumed with things that I can't think clearly, I'll never fully know. This is my new therapy. Back to basics.
|Not that I'm rooting for this, but it's intriguing (It's long and tedious. Plan to skip some parts.):
I decided to take the truck for a run up and down the streets around our neighborhood and count the Biden vs Trump signs to see how many were supporting which candidate. Not many out there. And most signs posted were up near homes instead of on the street. Might be a reason why I saw fewer signs? But, Biden was leading as I made one more swipe up and around two more blocks on my route home.
By the time I got to our little cul-de-sac, Biden was ahead 8-4. What happened on the ride up and and down our 25-house block had me rolling in laughter. It had everything: A voting block like an electoral college for Trump, a tie, and perhaps, what I could call election fraud. On the roundabout, there was a Trump sign on the island and one at the house across the street. They could have voted twice. It was 11-11 when I got home. I rode around 20-some blocks to get 12 signs, with 10 more on my street. There was only three signs a week ago.
Interesting, I can break down the demographics mostly: the pot head, former skaterz across the street with problem kids were Biden, as were the two neighbors down the road who identify as lesbian (we chat, that's how we know). I think it was the retired dentist with the other Biden post. So, Trumpers included the retired constructor company owner across the street, a cop up the road, the widowed woman next door, and several older neighbors down toward, and in, the cul-de-sac -- the upper middle class. No sign at my house.
With all the talk of weird outcomes in an odd year, it's compelling. I don't think a tie would be a divisive thing. It would actually force Congress to finally do their jobs. Whether or not they're capable will be another thing to watch.
|I really have to share this again, which was once posted in my notebook (maybe, your newsfeed)...
This is the most enlightening video for me. It has freed me from what has shackled me for so many years. If we could just inform ourselves and acknowledge what represses, it's like drawing air into lungs for the first time. It's brief but pleasurable to know we can get a handle on the manipulators and why they abuse us, and moreover, how we can and/or do not have to respond.
How I know I'm not one...narcissist. Put me in a room with one and let us debate. I will feel like I've lost or just emotionally worn out every time.
Plus, I go toe-to-toe with one nearly every day of my life. In fact, I have three of them. I don't even approach anymore, assuming there's no use convincing them to see things my way. I'm practically invisible and voiceless to them.
|“We need more bassists, not less. But for real, stop trying to play goddamned bass chords under a guitar solo.”
R.I.P. Eddie Van Halen
iconic rock guitarist inspiring listeners and wannabes like me
"I been to the edge
And there I stood and looked down
You know I lost a lot of friends there baby
I got no time to mess around"
Rock on solo, my friend. I'm crying 'cause his music meant so much to my life.
|Totally unrelated and yet complimentary...
The Flying Lizards cover of the Beatles song might be unknown, unless it got heavy rotation by a disc jockey at your local radio station during those formative, musical years.
Ben Folds Five felt like another rare discovery for me before they landed a song in the Top 40, which disappointed me because I wanted them to fly under the radar so I can say I was of the rare few aware of their odd musical genius.
|I'm reminded of this constantly...
"Throughout history, oligarchies have often been tyrannical, relying on public obedience or oppression to exist."
A group of people come to a programmer friend at college and say, 'hey, let's do something together on the internet. You build it, people will come and we will act like the statue of liberty accepting those huddled masses.'
Money making venture launched.
I wonder if this is how America really got started? Nope, feels more totalitarian with socialist applications, perhaps?
Has anyone read Ayn Rand?
Let's skip over that Orwellian stuff.
going sideways at bit, sort of like an experience one might have...
|I think I get it but I don't like it. Let's speed up the infections on the virus and get it over with. Why delay the inevitable? These states like Florida and now Tennessee lifting all restrictions give me pause. Yes, still mask and wash your hands. Use commons sense and precaution. Everyone has the information now how dangerous this is and enough time has passed to make for proper provisions, for the most part.
I don't know if this is the logic. The vaccine isn't going to save us in time. And calculations having about 80% of the population winding up with this disease...that's assuming some are less effected or somehow have built immunity to it without knowing. So much yet to learn. But, we are heading indoors for the winter season and the chances of getting increase greatly. So, bring it on?
Just pondering from the reports I'm seeing, reading and trying to understand the logic of some politicians, bureaucrats and more. It's just not the easy to suss out.
|A Not For Newsfeed Player Presents...
Something I couldn't resist, since I thought it up:
You'll find nothing in Joe Biden's head.
From Twitter to Facebook to Fox News to QAnon to your ears...no, not you Joe.
This has been a Not For Newsfeed Update. Now back to whatever it is you do around here.
I really should stop getting distracted with all this hooey.
|you know, history can teach us about the true origins and purpose of poetry...
It can be applied here for the same purposes, as it should be applied anywhere free speech rights are ignored. Anywhere people are downtrodden for standing up to would be rulers and oppressors. Though, they might employ some sort of highly disciplined playbook to characterize these types that challenge the narrative of those holding court. No matter. Speak your truths amid the debunkers, the disbelievers. Perhaps, there was one amongst us who wore a thorny crown, perhaps another emblazoned with a scarlet letter upon the breast?
You've all been rejected by someone or something. Perhaps, it aroused an anti-authoritarian sentiment that you just couldn't quell. Maybe, it was that kid or kids that held you down on the ground while you were fed dirt. They made you eat it. You lost your innocence of what was good. You realized as you walked through life anyone could be an agent of evil, could do no good. Perhaps, you secluded yourself and trusted very few...and then the betrayals. Yes?
Look in the mirror and realize the safe haven you are in looks a bit different in the glass. Almost satanic? Welcome! You've arrived. So, pleased to see you here.
What are you going to make in finger painting class today? No, no. Teacher says we don't rub that on our faces? Nurse! Nurse! He needs another sedative. I think he's coming out of it. He's talking about typing some kind of a manifesto...in quatrains? What'a a manifesto? No, I didn't ask for medicine. I'm...zzzzz
No one gets out without a little literary lobotomy.
I'll edit later...look I used WritingML to make the text richer...ahhhhh
Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you.
Okay, everybody. Nothing to see here. Just another psycho.
But you want to watch, don't you?
|It's no use. I tried talking to him. Anyone else want to tag in?
Stay tuned. I'm working up a memory from my early days with the WDC Angel Army where I squared off with Sherri Gibson(remember her?) in not one, but two popularity contests. I'll tell you what those were, how I got involved and the results from those early times before someone dubbed me 'King of Newsfeed', not that it has anything to do with the story. I could have said, one of the Top 5 poets at Writing.Com...not my words, someone else's. Now, to rest and to devise a tale of triumph despite great woe.
fun story. I like it. You should enjoy, too. Getting so most people don't know who Sherri was.
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BLOG: "SuperNova Afterglow: Shining Brighter"
POETRY BLOG: "Antithetical 📝 Jottings by RenownPoet"
2020 WDC Heart Throb Poet:
Published poet, award-winning broadcast journalist, former literary editor, newspaper editor, columnist, professional freelancer writer.
|just spit-balling philosophy
Do I argue I exist, if you have not shone
your light upon my empty space?
Nature abhors a vacuum,
yet, empty, unfilled spaces like this
goes against nature?
This Aristotle would persist...
does a void yield
if you make it naught?
What moves through this hole,
if you can find it, prove it
cannot contain what you bring...
be it light
be it water
be it air
to love, to sate, to breathe...
if you are the earth,
should I reside upon it?
empty, deflecting of all it contains?
I prove in a vacuous state
next to nothing, as you negate.
Harnessing a destabilizing belief,
collapsing all that asserts upon me,
could set the small space free
to inhabit within thee...
in the small spaces, virtually.
In the mind (I have one),
in this heart (I act on),
in the soul of Him,
lacking but filling with guilt from grief,
a mere shadow appears.
In dark, unfillable property,
the indefinable energy,
you would impose your philosopy
that I shouldn't exist...
but I'm here. Good luck
getting through to me with
all the space you put
I do not require an atom of energy,
but persist in sanctity,
of reverence to emptiness
and all who could see, despite
blindness from ignorance
that nature abhors
the very ability of me
to persist within what you dream
the entity, invisibly
you should not sleep at night.
just more thoughts on this vagueness I bathe myself in
BLOG: "SuperNova Afterglow: Shining Brighter"
POETRY BLOG: "Antithetical 📝 Jottings by RenownPoet"
2020 WDC Heart Throb Poet:
2014 Dear Me Winner:
Rising Stars Most Talented Author 2011
2009 North Star Award
Award-winning broadcast journalist, former poetry editor, newspaper editor, columnist, freelancer writer in multiple publications.
|A new 'Let's be real' session with myself, in an open forum...
There's this ruminating about THE novel. I look at it from all angles and wonder about my mentality that forces me into this dance around it. I look it up one side and the other, barely interacting with the idea, basic premise, the inner workings. I'm not really inspecting it, but the idea of its purpose. As its master, the need for its creation. Then, I travel down an avenue about writing fiction. It could open discussion to further delay this project:
Does one who desires to be an architect of a story need to be an avid reader of fiction?
To break it down further. I read non-fiction. I've learned this is a trait of a person of my particular psychological makeup. Does this mean my aversion to reading novels is a reason why I don't have the right mind to write a full length manuscript of fiction?
Here's what I know and struggle with. It's not that I don't understand the construct of characters, setting, conflict and resolution or even elements of foreboding, symbolism and developing a subject of worth with context that a reader can appreciate. I can write a hook and I can summarize story.
I cannot, however, create an alternate universe with its own parameters, reality, sets of beliefs and morals with assumed characters without feeling phony, not true enough to reality. Not true enough to my own experiences without embellishing and getting lost in my way and what direction a story could go.
Yes, I could plot a course with outline and characters with things to do. What if I want to deviate or try to make them seem real? What if I just want to write my own story and then change all the names when I'm done, because it feels fake if I change just one detail about them, including any attribution. And that's when I run into this wall of recall. I have to make up words they said, can barely paraphrase. It starts to feel fake again. I'm like some Holden Caulfield who is at war with himself.
I'm in my own paradox. I suddenly want to create alternate timelines with any story where my fictional charcters and real characters run into each other and turn to me, their master, and ask what the hell I'm doing. It's odd that this surreal world I'm in is blocked before I can take my fictional creations any further than a sudden outburst of words that dead-end when I've written into these corners of the mind.
I see an opportunity with Nano Prep. I stopped myself from signing up because the entry form felt a little confusing what I was committing to. I had to give that some thought. So, while I put all things on hold while my life is on hold, I get trapped. I turn to the easy things to write and distract myself instead.
But here's the other thing. Year in and year out I talk with her about my desire to write a novel...The novel. Year after year her interest wanes more. I realize it's gotten to the 'Uh-huh, that's nice dear' phase of this conversation. The point where I have to completely drop it. Now, my motivation is just, write it and surprise her. But here again is me going toward something for the wrong reasons. I need to believe in the project foremost for myself. I have to work out these obstacles I place before me, as I'm questioning if I have the right head for fiction.
I'm not organized. I'm easily distracted. My head is a clutter. I can't focus when I should. I need rewards that leave me in limbo. I should just want to do this for myself. i should not want to do this to shove in someone's face. I need a clear vision, clear goals, to make a path toward something that could be realized and completed. I feel I don't even know my own mind well enough in this self-analyzing psychosis pending state of reality I'm in.
I'll keep hashing it out in blogs and mindless musings, while I wait for a reality check.
Hi, my name is Brian. You may have encountered me running in and out of areas of Writing.Com where i mostly feel like Chang on an episode of Community where my reality seems to be that of a ghost. Since I'm invisible to most of you, I decide to act the part and rattle my chains. Be all big and scary. But for the indifferent...well, they won't see this anyway.
I'm likely Schizophrenic, so take that with a grain of psychoanalytical salt.
|You know that time literally stops when you're on Writing.Com?
But, the moment you duck out time immediately - snaps - back. Whooosh!
This time expansion forces me to miss daylight, chores from the list, that judgmental clock on the wall.
Perhaps, an entire season or a year could go by with nothing to recall. I wonder the why of it all.
Perhaps, when I wake tomorrow, I'll skip the coffee and the computer.
Perhaps, I'll wake up one day and you won't be there. I'll be in that other dimension I avoided, the place I was meant to be.
|Ever feel like your living in a bubble? Do you feel you followed a dream to an internet community where you were treated special and could give your special talents to something and feel the love reciprocated? Ever get like this?
"We used to worry about filter bubbles, which accidentally trap users in a certain sphere of information. In the era of social networks, the bubble has expanded: People can easily become enmeshed in online communities that operate with their own media, facts, and norms, in which outside voices are actively discredited. Professor C. Thi Nguyen of Utah Valley University refers to these places as echo chambers. “An epistemic bubble is when you don’t hear people from the other side,” he writes. “An echo chamber is what happens when you don’t trust people from the other side.”
There are some common pathways reported by people who fall into, and then leave these communities. They usually report that their initial exposure started with a question, and that a search engine took them to content that they found compelling. They engaged with the content and then found more. They joined a few groups, and soon a recommendation engine sent them others. They alienated old friends but made new ones in the groups, chatted regularly about their research, built communities, and eventually recruited other people.
“When you met an ignorant nonbeliever, you sent them YouTube videos of excessively protracted contrails and told them things like: 'Look at the sky! It's obvious!'" Stephanie Wittis, a self-described former chemtrails and Illuminati conspiracy believer, told Vice. “You don't even go into detail about the matter or the technical inconsistencies, you just give them any explanation that sounds reasonable, cohesive, and informed—in a word, scientific. And then you give them the time to think about it."
This behavior resembles another, older phenomenon: It’s strikingly similar to cult recruitment tactics of the pre-internet era, in which recruits are targeted and then increasingly isolated from the noncult world. “The easiest way to radicalize someone is to permanently warp their view of reality,” says Mike Caulfield, head of the American Association of State Colleges and Universities digital polarization initiative. “It’s not just confirmation bias ... we see people moving step by step into alternate realities. They start off questioning and then they’re led down the path.”
The path takes them into closed online communities, where members are unlikely to have real-world connections but are bound by shared beliefs. Some of these groups, such as the QAnon communities, number in the tens of thousands. “What a movement such as QAnon has going for it, and why it will catch on like wildfire, is that it makes people feel connected to something important that other people don’t yet know about,” says cult expert Rachel Bernstein, who specializes in recovery therapy. "All cults will provide this feeling of being special.”
The idea that “more speech” will counter these ideas fundamentally misunderstands the dynamic of these online spaces: Everyone else in the group is also part of the true believer community. Information does not need to travel very far to reach every member of the group. What’s shared conforms to the alignment of all of the members, which reinforces the group's worldview. Inside Cult 2.0, dissent is likely to be met with hostility, doxing, and harassment. There is no counterspeech. There is no one in there who’s going to report radicalization to the Trust and Safety mods."
You're in a cult?
|I share a review I wrote:
Review of "Peace"
Dear Prasenjit Paul ,
For a short poem, it seemed a long departure. I looked in on "Peace" and discovered a poem described as fulfillment in life. I had to reconsider the context of the poem upon observing this. Perhaps, this poem is more about the end of one's life. Perhaps, it is actually a sad goodbye.
The only reason I doubt this sounds like one fulfilled is it lingers and seems to draw attention to this narrator going on about 'lonely I will depart' because one has 'done their best' and 'nobody will disturb' before that 'happiness and bliss.' I think the writer is actually trying to get someone to notice. It's falsely modest, but it is nothing to be ashamed of.
We all get in this way where we have to tell ourselves that what we've been, what we've done in this world and for others, amounted to something. It sounds like one reassuring that they have mattered. And, who actually pens a poem before leaving, and makes it seem about a final farewell. A goodbye that might seem permanent?
It might be overdramatized for effect. I get it. I'm there. This is how life seems to leave us...empty, unfulfilled. I lie and tell people I'm fine, I'm worthy, all the time. In my heart of hearts, yeah there's a big hole there. I fill it with delusion or whatever will do. There is a deeper meaning and texture to this poem that goes beyond what a reader may see or believe.
If it's just on the surface, this is just an ordinary poem about, 'okay, I'm leaving,' or 'okay, bye, this is me walking out the door.' Who does that? Normally, just someone who wants a grand exit. We want those arms to enwrap us and make us feel warm, to make us feel like the visit was pleasant with the reciprocated love.
But, this poem is just a person alone, as if speaking to oneself. Is that the echo of our words we hear as we are alone in the doorway on that sweet exit out?
I am totally on board with this. It is awkward, perhaps not on purpose. We write these things when we are in a particular mood. It is self-fulfilling or a grand illusion about life, but it is certainly not providing the evidence to support the depicted description. I've been known to be dishonest with myself in this way. It's humanizing. And, I think it is beautiful and endearing.
It's important to accept we are lonely and that we are self-sustaining as we must love ourselves and the gifts that we've given, even when it feels we are not appreciated. And to me, that overall sums up the general tone and theme presented here.
Thank you for sharing this.