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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1300042
The case for a black writer in full on Super Nova here. Black hole or write dwarf forming?
The nicest ANGRY guy you'll ever meet.


"It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely."

"You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself."

Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
[Click For More Info]

Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in  [Link To Item #2164876]  with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!

Rachel *^*Heartv*^*

                   A signature image for use by anyone nominated for a Quill in 2018                    

"...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger

Time to reinvent, remap, and redress my approach to writing & life...before it's too late!
Reinventing myself from start to finish. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.

Also, "Black Hole 💫🌑 SuperNova Afterglow nominated for:
"Lost In The Shuttle A signature image for use by anyone nominated for a Quill in 2018 -- WINNER -- Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
[Click For More Info]

Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in  [Link To Item #2164876]  with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!

Rachel *^*Heartv*^*

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July 5, 2020 at 12:51am
July 5, 2020 at 12:51am
Love him or hate him, he's right about totalitarianism and a movement afoot to get people to hate their country....so much so, they'll want to adopt a new form of government...

July 4, 2020 at 1:14am
July 4, 2020 at 1:14am
Yes, COVID_19 has not been as tragic as the Spanish Flu of 1918. Consider: history teaches, global advances in approaches to infectious diseases, best practices of medicine today, more prepared to handle these outbreaks and lots of government dollars to throw at cures.
Where are we at? 130,000 US deaths and only four months in. Spanish Influenza took 20 months and roughly 675,000 lives. What's our over/under now?
And, you're worried about wearing a mask. It's life or death, you dehumanizing, ignorantly prideful people. They got the message about masks in 1918. Ignorance today makes it worse.
Get off the damn bar stools and go grill in your backyard. Do I have to tell you what to do next? Get creative without your precious routines of sports and alcohol.
July 3, 2020 at 9:00am
July 3, 2020 at 9:00am

This article is what I have been searching for and describes everything I struggle with on the home front. It has only one assertion I disagree with and one realization for me that makes me empathize with my abuser, that they also suffered childhood shame. And what the article doesn't fully realize, my abuser has employed my own offspring against me effectively. I see the patterns now and what I can do to approach these flaws in our relationship 25 years plus...

What I learned from the article is the relationship reached a new dynamic after we we're married, after we had kids. Things were said that saddened and worried me that made me feel we were losing a grip on a fun, unfettered relationship that was strong before our vows. In retrospect, there have been sign posts along the way that make me openly wonder about events that are new mysteries to me. Too personal to share here.

I'm just putting it out there, in here. You get to see my warts. I'm trying to help you see why I feel disenfranchised, angry, and act out toward authority because of my past and how it still haunts me now. I think you take too much credit for what you think being a part of this community has done to me, rather than for me. Being held out as a lowly black case has allowed me to process all that I've experienced through writing and putting it in perspective. Using whatever guilt, shame or indifference you employ to keep me out of your clubhouses only inspires me to investigate further.

I would love to expose all the manipulation to the world. All I have is this blog to warn others who have been abused that people in your life lurking may be using your kryptonite against you, employed for their own gain. It's okay to question their methods, their game, if something doesn't smell right to you. If they shame you or make you feel bad for these feelings, it's another sign that they are only kicking the dog and not the angels they proclaims themselves to be.

June 30, 2020 at 7:58am
June 30, 2020 at 7:58am
Assuming I'm not inclined to share any more poetry this month, an accounting of what I wrote in June:

from "Antithetical 📝 Jottings --

"Barren Home of Fruitless Desire
"Your Beast
"Lavender Buttons
"Your Sunlight
"When Distraction Takes Hold...Suck It
"Of Your Shores
"Strength For Two
"The Black Amid Demons
"They Are Not Fair
"Journey Of The Polarized Heart
""Church" and Not What I Need
"Evaporation Point (newly edited)

from "Black Hole 💫🌑 SuperNova Afterglow --

"It's Not Me, It's You
"Harsh Dreams of Utopia and Winter

Poems mostly available. Some go on lockdown under revisions and more; or, if you are not a member yet and want to read just sign up for a free account on this sequestered little pond collecting internet truants.

For all the links this year and previous..."🌸 2018-20 Poetry 🌺
June 29, 2020 at 2:36pm
June 29, 2020 at 2:36pm
People that call themselves winners don't realize there's a war going on
Don't take into account that it's war out there?

For those keeping score
It's me zero versus
Don't need to keep score
Don't need to score

#Fixed #life

Acknowledging this does not mean to say give up
It means play smarter
Maybe, not to win but to enjoy the game itself
Or find something that does reward
Does give back
Not in virtual honor
But in virtuosity

June 29, 2020 at 7:16am
June 29, 2020 at 7:16am
I write lengthy reviews that are unaffiliated. I seldom see the need to participate in group reviewing goals. Though, it might be good for encouraging writing and the feedback process. But, we can say what we want without worry of who or what we represent when we go solo and unacknowledged by others, except the true author...

Review of "River’s Parallel"
"Dear Foolish Consistency ,

Just a note before you read this very long review, I learn as I go. I take things in directions I don't see before I set my fingers to keyboard. I was enlightened by your poem in the process of writing and deconstructing what I read. I will find flaws and joys in what you shared. I hope you have not given up on sharing your visions as a writer because of the underwhelming appeal of what you revealed in this little corner of the internet world. My review:

I had to contemplate this poem for awhile after reading because of the statements used to build imagery and emotion of a sunrise. But what got me googling first for answers was in that second stanza. Does a sunrise look like it is setting on the water's surface? I found no proof of this reversal, leading me to conclude that the expressions used in this poem overall do not bear fruit.

I think this poem does wax poetic and uses some unique expressions that when analyzed by this writer/reviewer didn't make enough sense. I note a theme of nostalgia, holding on, perseverance within some feeling of loss. When I found fault, each phrase came to bear under scrutiny, after reading:

We look to the rising sun, as it sinks into its last horizon...

Now, if you are implying end of days, then I might suggest a turn of that phrase to mean "before it sinks into its last horizon..." Other phraseology looked smooth and well written, but logic was forcing me to look deeper and question if these nicely constructed words just randomly flowed from the mind that did not consider their actual worth. However, I feel an idea was forming and writing is a process to fleshing out something that does have a leg to stand on.

I start from the beginning:

The gentle green reflection
brings forth its mirrored image, a world dwelt in shadow...

I puzzled over this, 'gentle green reflection.' A sunrise was being described over what I assumed was water, which is nicely alluded to indirectly with images like 'wavering in the depths' or describing a 'world born in water' later on. And here, the 'mirrored image' added to my thought something earthly is reflected in this world at sunrise. I have to assume it is an expression, not of place in the world but a place described inside the narrator. This person is dawning on something, because the rest of the stanza describes turmoil in this watery place:

"Beyond our ken is a light beyond sight
a realm sunk deep in the waters of our prayers,
the grief of our hearts and, the blood of our veins."

This internalizing is projected into a world view, an opinion of a world that surrounds a place in one's soul arriving. This is a poem that a writer is developing in real time to describe rising feelings like that sunrise, but a feeling that it will be the last. Or, that it does create a sinking feeling. But, in stanza two the first line that stopped me brought it to a halt. I had to keep reading to figure out if in summation we could get a better understanding of what is being devised here in the remaining lines:

"...We contemplate our image, wavering in the depths,
and see a smiling face shimmering, fading, falling,
only to rise again.

A world born in water, birthed from its earthly counterpart,
is not a farewell, but a parallel.
For every fall is risen, and every tear a smile.
There is no goodbye, only now and forever."

The rest of stanza two reads like a relation to people in general who feel like we can see our own selves where we should be struggling as something bright and hopeful and yet 'fading' because we are 'falling' and rising. It's like an eternal struggle of self to be more than who we are, to be accepted. We rise and fall in that deep water that holds us down. It made me wonder, do we surface? I believe some do, feel that they do.

This is where the poem in analysis is gaining enough introspect from me that I can see the sum of the parts, some coalescing while others fail to make the grade. It ironically mirrors what the poet is saying about how we can shine one moment and lose that grip to fall back down. And we had that first line in stanza three that stumbled again for me, getting me to reflect back on the first line of stanza two.

Does the poet go for unique expressions at the risk of sounding illogical? Does the poem make sense when held up to introspection? I feel there is enough truth within that we can overlook a few overlapping errors to observe some universal truths. We have commonalities as a world, as a writing community even. However, not all will acknowledge the struggle like the poet of this piece grapples with. I find a writer trying to divulge while still learning from the flaw in our genealogy and ideology as a race put on this planet.

I can only imagine that the summation to this poem is saying the earth bears more people like us to struggle. It might not be meant to be that broad. It could also be suggesting there are two parts to us. The parts this narrative wrestles with might be as simple as id and ego. The remainder of the poem discovers we are infinitely trapped to never really change in a process that seems like birth, death and resurrection. It could follow a biblical theme, but I don't think that was the attempt. I think religion is universal and has inspired most of the stories and cannot be separated from these simple, but revealing truths.

I'll sum it up. Wherever you go, there you are. It's more than that, but that is the basis. As a writer, I came to this writing community like taking a leap of faith into its waters. I floundered, learned to swim. But, was I doing it right? Like the poem suggests, during this epic battle to find worth (in my case through writing in this forsaken community), we seldom surface. I seldom find I am shining. It is my struggle to break surface, emerge from the water and connect with that sun on the setting horizon. I feel anchored in the depths. Who or what is holding me down?

That might be another question to ask of the writer. Do we hold ourselves down, or are we made to eternally struggle because we do not have some kind of super power to actually achieve. I think it might be the former. But, in this writing community there is another element that shuns idealism and the belief that one can move on from this realm into a larger perspective. Someone or something is holding our head under water. Fortunately, there are other domains and parallel universes in the internet construct. Unfortunately, we ascribe our worth to those we allow rule over us in this realm.

I went beyond the scope of this poem in analyzing it with my comparative. I saw an opportunity personally to show others this poem has worth where many others don't even come close. But, a poem like this is forgotten, overlooked and sinks to the depths of time because no one noticed, was not incentivized to pay attention, or did not have the ability to comprehend, overcome the poem's shortcomings to see it's real value.

I'm rating this poem five stars for it's potential. It can observationally be corrected, though I think it is cast in stone for time because this community does not value writers with scope for great potential in writing. It would rather manipulate the few that could fit into the domain's short-sighted goal to be self-reliant with the fear that acknowledging good writing over bad is not good for business. Delusional dreamers are greater than writers who figure out they don't need this place.

Sorry again for using this poem as a tool to figure out as I review how this poem fits in a current spectrum that I call my world. There is enough in this review to see what I have discovered and what the poet could take away as feedback. There is a larger picture within a smaller world view about how we need to acknowledge one another as people and be treated with equal respect. We have this commonality within us that should bond us and make us stronger as a community without the manipulation and division within, sacrificing our personal ethos for some 'greater good' as it may be falsely ascribed.

Circumpolar Reviewer *Star* (a review so long, I can't go back over it to edit, sorry)

This review is not a middle finger to the man. It is a statement of beliefs from circumstantial evidence compounding over a decade of exposure to a separatist world falsely presented to manipulate well-meaning writers (especially the introspective ones) with ideals and intentions to purpose their words. If anyone is offended, they certainly need a little introspection -- valuate whether they have unfairly judged others in support of a hollow 'cause' in this exclusive world. It is a plea to respect writing first and foremost and stop milking a cow."

*Laugh* I didn't even acknowledge the poem's title in my review.

I do not write jibberish. I think you can acknowledge, but through indifference or tired of the same theme repeated...

I have some new theories on this. It takes time away to develop introspective thought.
June 24, 2020 at 5:26pm
June 24, 2020 at 5:26pm
Write 500 times:
If I'm not kind, I have been evil.

If I have not been kind, I must be evil.

Do not suggest someone else is bad, because then you are evil.

Be direct, or someone will mischaracterize your comments to mean you have said something evil.

Are we ready for Propaganda 201?

Words from my mouth taste bitter
I did not want them there
I did not want to have them form from thoughts gathering
I want to believe in utopia,
with a kind and gentle people who encourage
and want to hear words from my mouth forming
thoughts like beautiful flowers, hopefully
not thorny rosebuds.
yet, I would bleed for you if that is what you want to see
until I am bled dry, as the dry air changes
and petals flutter from my head to lawn
reveal beauty lost to the collected ground.
Pink, they melt and slide below the green blades
to gather at my buried feet like winter slippers
before I die to grow anew, sleep to dream and
not utter again to you, until I recycle through
another harsh season. Even in your pearly frost,
I bear fruit.
June 20, 2020 at 10:19pm
June 20, 2020 at 10:19pm
48 of last 64 reviews were for newbies over about a month's time.
Not one newbie returned a review.
I'm not sure what that is, but I remember returning reviews when I first started.
Not complaining, just saying.
I think if this community is to thrive, I hope new members are reciprocating.
I can think of a few new members that I've given more than one review to.
Not even getting friends from these review interactions.
This is new, because I'm giving some of my best reviews.
Usually, I form new associations out of this.
I do think I traded some emails with some people on the Covid19 pandemic over a month ago, but that faded.

Not going to overanalyze it. Just note and move on. Maybe, stop reviewing newbies.
June 20, 2020 at 10:30am
June 20, 2020 at 10:30am
You should know this, 101 regarding grammar:

by Sandy Chung and Geoff Pullum

What Is Grammar?

People often think of grammar as a matter of arbitrary pronouncements (defining 'good' and 'bad' language), usually negative ones like “There is no such word as ain't” or “Never end a sentence with a preposition.” Linguists are not very interested in this sort of bossiness (sometimes called prescriptivism). For linguists, grammar is simply the collection of principles defining how to put together a sentence.

One sometimes hears people say that such-and-such a language 'has no grammar', but that is not true of any language. Every language has restrictions on how words must be arranged to construct a sentence. Such restrictions are principles of syntax. Every language has about as much syntax as any other language. For example, all languages have principles for constructing sentences that ask questions needing a yes or no answer, e.g. Can you hear me?, questions inviting some other kind of answer, e.g. What did you see?, sentences that express commands, e.g. Eat your potatoes!, and sentences that make assertions, e.g. Whales eat plankton.

Word Order

The syntactic principles of a language may insist on some order of words or may allow several options. For instance, English sentences normally must have words in the order Subject-VerbObject. In Whales eat plankton, 'whales' is the subject, 'eat' is the verb, and 'plankton' is the object. Japanese sentences allow the words to occur in several possible orders, but the normal arrangement (when no special emphasis is intended) is Subject-Object-Verb. Irish sentences standardly have words in the order Verb-Subject-Object. Even when a language allows several orders of phrases in the sentence, the choice among them is systematically regulated. For example, there might be a requirement that the first phrase refer to the thing you're talking about, or that whatever the first phrase is, the second must be the main clause verb.

Not only does every language have syntax, but similar syntactic principles are found over and over again in languages. Word order is strikingly similar in English, Swahili, and Thai (which are utterly unrelated); sentences in Irish are remarkably parallel to those in Maori, Maasai, and ancient Egyptian (also unrelated); and so on.

Word Structure

However, there is another aspect of grammar in which languages differ more radically, namely in morphology, the principles governing the structure of words. Languages do not all employ morphology to a similar extent. In fact they differ dramatically in the extent to which they allow words to be built out of other words or smaller elements. The English word undeniability is a complex noun formed from the adjective 'undeniable', which is formed from the adjective 'deniable', which is formed from the verb 'deny'. Some languages (like German, Nootka, and Eskimo) permit much more complex word-building than English; others (like Chinese, Ewe, and Vietnamese) permit considerably less.

Languages also differ greatly in the extent to which words vary their shape according to their function in the sentence. In English you have to choose different pronouns ('they' versus 'them') for Subject and Object (though there is no choice to be made with nouns, as in Whales eat plankton). In Latin, the shapes of both pronouns and nouns vary when they are used as subjects or objects; but in Chinese, no words vary in shape like this.

Although we have identified some differences between syntax and morphology, to some extent it is a matter for ongoing research to decide what counts as morphology and what counts as syntax. The answer can change as discoveries are made and theories improved. For instance, most people—in fact, most grammarians—probably say that 'wouldn't' is two words: 'would' followed by an informal pronunciation of 'not'. But if we treat 'wouldn't' as one word, then we can explain why it is treated as one word in the yes/no question Wouldn't it hurt? Notice that we don't say Would not it hurt? for Would it not hurt?, or Would have he cared? for Would he have cared? In each case, the bad versions have two words before the subject. The syntactic principle for English yes/no questions is that the auxiliary verb occurs before the subject.

If this is correct, by the way, then 'ain't' certainly is a word in English, and we know what kind: It's an auxiliary verb (the evidence: We hear questions like Ain't that right?). English teachers disapprove of 'ain't' (naturally enough, since it is found almost entirely in casual conversation, never in formal written English, which is what English teachers are mostly concerned to teach). But linguists are generally not interested in issuing pronouncements about what should be permitted or what should be called what. Their aim is simply to find out what language (including spoken language) is like. Even if you learned all the words of Navajo, and how they are pronounced, you would not be able to speak Navajo until you also learned the principles of Navajo grammar. There must be principles of Navajo grammar that are different from those of other languages (because speakers of other languages cannot understand Navajo), but there may also be principles of universal grammar, the same for all languages. Linguists cannot at present give a full statement of all the principles of grammar for any particular language, or a statement of all the principles of universal grammar. Finding out what they are is a central aim of modern linguistics.


But, how apply it to poetry?
Perhaps, lamely.

June 13, 2020 at 12:51pm
June 13, 2020 at 12:51pm
(Advanced Peek)
As yet to be fully realized and edited:

George Floyd was a drug user?


I had to Google cause of death and understand what fentanyl is and learn from my wife its used in combination with methamphetamines (also listed in coroner's report).

She knew this before me (not a sharer) and I was floored.

I was checking to see if the officer held responsible for Floyd's death has spoken or entered a plea. Chauvin's lips are sealed. I want to understand how he could not see what was happening to the victim. The Floyd family had their own autopsy done but do not mention drugs in their report.

Chauvin should fry for what he did. But, this complicates my sympathy for Floyd, a man who has sparked a long-needed movement that now memorializes his untimely death with strangely awkward sit downs mimicking the last nine minutes of his life. How must the family feel about this, above the violence and riots?

Can we assume whether Floyd was above the law, contributing erroneously to his own demise? Is defense council going to raise this issue? Dangerous court days ahead. I think the nation would not accept a plea deal, but the family should. And, could tell a nation they do it out of respect of memory of their loved one.

It diminishes for me the unified movement, by not acknowledging Floyd's weakness. Outrage for murderous police brutality, deserved. But, tempered when you consider everything that could fuel an ugly court case.

I need to empathize with Mr. Floyd, if indeed he had a drug dependency. And, that's before a trial that could daringly reveal two conflicting autopsy reports. Very sensitive this issue of drugs complicating heart failure, which he knew he struggled with.

Fentanyl killed Michael Jackson, too.

And on a related matter:

I agree that taking a knee is NOT about the flag.

I believe SITTING (that first time in 2016) during the national anthem was about getting benched (losing one's starting job).

"(Colin Kaepernick) The former Super Bowl starting quarterback's decision to go public (about stand on systematic racism in America) comes while he is fighting for his football life with the (San Francisco) 49ers, who drafted him in the second round in 2011. He lost his starting job last season after being one of the most promising players in the NFL during his run under former coach Jim Harbaugh.

Over the past few months, his relationship with management has turned sour. He requested a trade last spring, which never came. He also has spent most of the offseason rehabilitating from operations to his left (non-throwing) shoulder, his hand and knee. His recovery left him unable to fully compete with Blaine Gabbert for months and has him seemingly in a bind to regain his starting job." 8/26/2016


Colin still has good intentions. The NFL should have never shunned him. I learn shunning is a common practice among those who want to diminish another for whatever reasons.

June 12, 2020 at 3:13pm
June 12, 2020 at 3:13pm
If you have a disability and laid off from your job as a result of this pandemic, it sucks to be you. That is, if you collect SSDI from the government, also. You probably heard the federal CARES Act was going to drop an additional $600 a week in your lap. But, because you live in Wisconsin, the state said ‘none for you.’

Sure, people who can’t claim a disability like you can get at least a hundred bucks a week from state unemployment, plus another $600 bump from CARES. So, that’s $700 weekly, about 28-hundred monthly. And what do you get? Zero. But, you have that cushy SSDI that amounts to about, what? Half that? I’ll bet you’re extra lucky if you have dependents.

How is it, post COVID-19 for you? Can you go out in public without greater fear than the others? Among those who defiantly won’t wear a mask? Are you able to travel? Require assistance? Use public busing? And where do you go to meet these maskless villains who don’t know you live with a handicap? Make it hard to conveniently shop in these stores like war-torn battlefields for the last of some necessities? Do you get those supplies all home safely through whatever means of transpiration?

Okay, you’re supplied, you're hunkered down. Fears of inflation? Fears of trips to hospital? Can you know what the future holds? Will your employer ever call you back? Do you consider no job will be waiting for you when this is over? Who will take you on with your special needs? Who will train you? What security do you have? A monthly check from the federal government?

You don’t want to beg for help. You don’t want to be a charity case. You learn 48 of 50 states give people with a disability a shot at additional federal assistance in these times. And you think, why isn’t Wisconsin and it’s Governor doing something to lift this restriction?

If you don’t get an at bat, you don’t get a stat.

Right? Baseball had these odd rules for negating plate appearances. It equates to when jobs reports come out. Right? No state is going to tout how many claims were rejected. If you’ve been denied, the jobless rate goes down. A law has diminished you, negated you. Impressive Governor, Wisconsin, you tromped on about 175,000 workers so you can look good. Who gets hurt?

In 2013, when this legislation to block ‘double-dipping’ was enacted, a certain Governor was cutting all kinds of stuff to make the budget float. Questionable, the way they went about it? Somebody benefits. And those nasty, no-account-for disabled workers can’t ‘double-dip’ now. Didn’t see coronavirus coming? Do politicians care?

Ahem. Scott Walker. You’re the double dipper.

WISCONSIN, look sharp. I’m talking to you. Are you collecting unemployment insurance from those that employ the handicapped? Where does that money go? Do I have to dig and find out? Rebate to employers who hire disabled? What??

But, the feds earmarked money to distribute to the laid off. Did you get that extra portion for EVERY worker? Or, were the handicapped conveniently left out? Hmm.

This is systematic. Disabled Lives Matter. I’m coining it.

They struggle. They have special needs -- the feds recognized that through a serious vetting process that may have involved attorneys. Where are the lawyers now? Litigators? No. They don’t want to take on your law.

Wisconsin agencies/programs to assist this handicapped sector just recite the 2013 law and back off. No help there. Bunch of sycophants. You got a sector of the workforce cornered, demeaned, nullified. And the CARES Act is just a huge taunt to people who dared make ends meet and find security. And the world goes on lock down and they are systematically treated like lazy, worthless people whose lives DON’T matter. Yeah. You got a law. Nice going.

Get your act together legislators. You have not breathed one word publicly on this subject. Go ahead. Hide behind the headlines.

I know I will get calls from concerned citizens after reading this. I would rather you call, write or email your legislators to rescind the 2013 law immediately. Tell them what matters.

Tony Evers:
E-mail: EversInfo@wisconsin.gov
Phone: 608-266-1212

Senate Bill (SB) 200 passed the Wisconsin Senate on June 11, 2013 by a 17-15 vote, with all Republicans voting in favor of it and all Democrats against.
June 7, 2020 at 9:12am
June 7, 2020 at 9:12am
Irony: the movement to support police, fire and military post-911, Today, the coronavirus scourge that had us honoring healthcare workers for their bravery is in the shadows of a defund police movement meant to rile rather than unify a nation on the ills of police brutality and the cries of racism. Whether it was the blue light illuminating a porch stoop or blue hearts displayed in our windows, what I feel growing out of this is an attempt to shame and fool people into believing humanity is not being served:


Stop reading just the headlines and ask questions -- why we are inundated in an election year with so much stuff that you want to shrink from the very presence of triggering words? Answers aren't necessarily being offered. Plenty of accusations made. No true leader can rise above this to lead us to some promise land. America functions. It's not perfect. We have freedoms. We risk losing what we have if we cannot understand the need for proper civil discourse.

Read the provided article. Mind you, it comes with a bias, but some serious evidence that you are being put in a position to question something that actually serves us better than you've been lead to believe. Also, related to Minnesota:


Stay informed, even if you feel you don't have a voice. Just, don't get led around by your nose. You have eyes and ears.

Extra reading, because I'm so tired of the ignorance right down to a 15-year-old proclaimed transgender I love who tried lecture me about all things on the spectrum but did not know difference between confederate flag and communist (both I condemn):


I think if you feed anything called truth on a plate, people will partake and maybe rave about it. Ignorance is real. I have a right to be sick and done with it. And, if someone educated uses information to mislead, I have a little bit more contempt for you. I see you.

And what happened to George Floyd publicly is sad and perplexing. But, imagine living in a true, racist environment your whole life In a sundown town in Texas. As one man describes at a rally for Black Lives Matter honoring Floyd in a small Texas town, he ducked bottles and jumped away from cars rolling over curbs...


Racism does exist in much scarier places. It takes bravery ever day to be true to who you are, no matter where.

Final Thought:
Perhaps, the defund movement is sponsored by those who want to scrap the constitution. Careful, it could mean totalarianism and not your beloved socialism.
June 4, 2020 at 4:51pm
June 4, 2020 at 4:51pm
I guess we're all struggling to say the right thing. There are a lot of pieces to this puzzle. Collectively, the white majority is either ignorant, complacent, afraid or feels their voice is unwanted or doesn't matter. I think white shame got lumped in there and that is on our forefathers who founded this country.

Let's not forget this an election year and politicians are really stirring it up. The elected lay it in our lap so we will vote for them. whether Republican or Democrat; but what change has been made? These politicians don't mend fences, they keep race separated so this division will stand between their aisles.

if black and white stood arm in arm and told Washington you will not divide us, what would they do? I'm white. I don't favor racism. But, by keeping us from agreeing as a nation what type of leadership we want, we'll always feel helpless to join together. Integrating races/culture in our country is hard to do without a bold leader to unify.

Look what's happened to religion in our country. I rooted for Rev. Jesse Jackson. I thought he could do it. Fleeting at best. We're stuck as a nation, repressed. So, we find distraction when we feel our voice is just one and doesn't matter. and then, we don't vote.

That's as best I can put it.
May 31, 2020 at 1:49pm
May 31, 2020 at 1:49pm
A little bit more knowledge. My brother-in-law is a retired Michigan State Trooper who alerted me years ago he is suspicious of our country headed toward a police state. With recent riots and response across the country with the President's incendiary remarks, I had to google and learn. Now I know why the CNN reporters were arrested on live TV the other morning in Minnesota, if you'll read...


I'm sure post pandemic this is not what the government wants or could have foreseen happening. However, my brother-in-law spotted earpieces in the ears of some of those masked rioters in reports he watched from his area of Detroit.

If this is organized, it feels like groups are taking advantage of a vulnerable time in a political year, for whatever reasons.

I get images of a lot of questionable stuff from our nation's past from 911 to the fires destroying America's churches some 20 years ago.

I know the nation is outraged, but this feels extreme. I just don't see diplomacy setting this right.

Regarding George Floyd's horrible death at the hands of a white officer, I was also unaware (until my wife showed me a photo this morning) about the race of the other responding.

All of these things just make me wonder why the rage and hostility has gotten this far out of hand, when they've fired all four officers and promised a criminal investigation. I want to read or see something that can inform me more why American citizens are responding in this fashion that would ease my concerns that their is anything political to totalitarian motivation behind this.

There is a nation with a lot of time on their hands this summer, without jobs, sports, family activities and more from shut downs to the slow down in our economy. I hope there are some good people with diplomatic intentions ready to roll up their sleeves and go to work. I fear the Sunday columnists like the New York Times will paint a slightly slanted picture that isn't designed to resolve but embroil a weakness in our nation in its current state. If you read, details of events are conveniently left out. Like, over 70% of rioters arrested in Minnesota were from out of state.

One more thought, President Trump needs to retire from Twitter. You're 'very, very bad' tweeting isn't helping matters. You need to be more presidential than what you are exhibiting (did you really quote George Wallace?) and are not unifying (but dividing) a country (you are hired to lead) with comments you have to clarify after it's too late. I agree, we should act like grown ups, rather than children and blame you for our 'very, very bad things.' But, you have to talk to people like they are adults, just this short of patronizing. I'm sensing your dignity is more important than a two dollar face covering. We can upgrade you to the Presidential Seal if you like, Sir.

But yeah, totalitarianism has reared its ugly head. Just wanted to let you know.

Forgive me if I don't edit this right away, if ever. Not sure how much I want my brain spinning on subject like this. I really don't have time for passion as a reporter anymore. Or as a citizen of this great country. As long as the beer flows and my backyard blooms, I'll write my odes to nature and the returning echoes in the hollow of my heart.
May 31, 2020 at 11:05am
May 31, 2020 at 11:05am
I’ve got insight and opinions on a lot of things that I could write about. I don’t have enough people to consort with who will network With a journalist about this era arriving. It seems appropriately apocalyptic. Civil unrest following a pandemic and I’m sure more is in store.

I can’t talk about my favorite food to what movies I like. Set aside the trivial talk. Let’s get to the meat of it. Why doesn’t civil discourse exist? When they invented PC lingo and the internet, freedom of speech went sideways and backward. So many opportunities to stay informed, except the media is owned by conservatives or liberals. Nothing truly centered on getting to the truth in an ever dividing world that had a chance to co-exist and coalesce post Martin Luther King or John Lennon and Barrack Obama.

I suck at typing on my phone. I hate this. I am tired of restraint. Time to loose these tongues, seek sensible people who can’t diplomatically get a firm footing on unrest and mend not just a nation, but the world.

Love. Peace.
May 29, 2020 at 10:10am
May 29, 2020 at 10:10am

I was ready to call it yesterday, as I posted on Twitter. No NBA or MLB or NHL (can't forget them) this season.

All these media stories about talks of when and how they'll resume is tiring and a charade. It makes me think they do it to remain relevant. People are discovering there's more to life than sports. And, fan bases could shrink, losing fringe viewers who will find and are finding other interests outside of sports.

Kids summer sports programs were canceled long ago and now today is word that minor league baseball is cutting hundreds of players and more expected to be handed pink slips, signaling ab end of one baseball season.

I'm looking at you next, NFL.

NBA would have seen a trophy hoisted this coming month. Hockey, too. MLB's tiresome summer sked would be two months in. College sports are also on the hot seat this fall. I'll believe when any football training camps are fully open for team drills.

But still, revenue is key. Who's going to concessions in empty stadiums? Sales of swag will dwindle without visions of scintillating highlight reels on scoreboards or videos boasting on ESPN. Nightmare just trying to get people to social distance at a grocery store, let alone get all to agree to wear masks publicly. You don't have the manpower or the capability to ensure the safety of people at your venues, let alone the athletes, staff and attending media. So, I'm learning toward no sports at all until end of year, and possibly more.

So, get used to this new world full of boogie man diseases. Get used to shuttering in your homes and taking extra precautions when you travel. The sports world as we know it will drastically and radically change after this, similar to how HIV-AIDS also reshaped our logic in an innocent world.

I'll think on this more later. 20-minute write.
I'll post Twitter links later.

May 24, 2020 at 12:34pm
May 24, 2020 at 12:34pm
George Carlin surprised me in the early 80s with a revelation during one of his standup specials, I think on HBO. Thanks to cable he didn't have to self-edit about how angry and disturbed he could get. He was a comic genius who could also be quite silly, but I always imagined comics to be funny. There wasn't another side to that coin. And what he helped me realize was humor can come from rage and deep-seated feelings that need construction expression to fully realize and relate to others who feel the same way but cannot express it.

It was about this time I was also discovering Richard Pryor and his rage. Comics we're opening up about how they felt and how society was affecting them. Perhaps, the origins of self-discovery and pop psychology are partly rooted in standup comedy from this era.

I listen to Carlin relate that his entire day would be ruined if he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. My mind was blown. I was partially sad to see this side of him and thrilled that the two of us shared a commonality We could get so easily upset about the smallest of things. It might be that we are deep in thought and prefer not be disturbed. The disconnect from our inner processes are startled by simple incidents like this. It could be a child gently asking for a father's attention while busied with writing streams of thought into an internet portal, as my case in recent years.

But when I was experiencing Carlin's revelations, I was insecure around other young adults and just wanted to put on my best appearance. I didn't want to be the subject of ridicule or shame because someone saw me accidently acting a boob by walking into a door. Carlin taught me not to take myself so seriously and learn to laugh at my mistakes, though I doubt he took a cue from his own missive. I think he was just deconstructing what made him so intense, which leant to his comic genius and a wordsmith in his own right.

The whole approach to standup comedy was becoming observations of the world, the human condition. It was searching for irony in the way we are humanly constructed to live with shame, to preen and put on our best appearances rather than show ourselves warts and all. Where it was once funny to laugh at people slipping on banana peels, I developed a sense of self-deprecating humor.

Here I walk into an internet community wanting to divulge the best parts of myself and play upon it because it can be so loving and rewarding. But, when you fall short of expectations and true goals, a writer can have adverse reactions to it. It is a world just like any other that feeds off shame and insecurity to manipulate those emotions, to either nurture or reject accordingly, however it fits in the plan.

Social media; bunch of narcissists. I cannot even imagine a world inside Instagram; and I value my image, my self-worth enough to know where not to reside within walls of indifference. My son, easily accepts these internet living conditions where he will find himself, but cannot find a real world where he can get his course work done and pass his classes to move on to his junior year. He would have gotten academically booted to the curb if not for a pandemic. He is facing humiliation because he could not express the number of times he kept tripping over the same place in the walk, even though family and school stood at the ready to help and support him.

So, today, I doubly fail. First as a parent, which I will live with until this somehow turns around. But second, as a resident of the internet. I trip and trip and trip and smile. I could do a cartwheel at the end, but no one would give a rat's behind. Maybe, I intimidate or piss people off when I get too intense. My goals, my expectations unmet cause me to stew and think I deserve better, and I do. I can't get accepted as I am, because I'm no George Carlin. I have not found an arena for my ability to advance myself and thrive. And, it's all because I hold back.

I learned from Carlin to laugh at myself. But, I also learned not to try. I don't put myself out there to fail, because I never feel supported or ready to try. With enough evidence returning from a world that doesn't appreciate my hostility and how it's revealed, I'm unworthy of further foray. I feel like being a cog in the surrounding systematic indifference applied, rather than a finely oiled thing that could keep this machination inside the internet moving. I burn to be the thing that smokes and smolders within a negated existence that offers phony platitudes and 'thank you for not smoking' warnings. People need hear hard truths the way Carlin revealed them to me.

I'd say that's the end, for now.
To be edited later. 5.24.20

My apologies to my son who I am trying to support. I'm taking blame for his situation. But, it's time he take ownership of his own mistakes and start being a man.

This is probably just the first of my blog entries revealing feelings about manipulation and corruption on the internet.

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