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Not interesting at all. Just like me. |
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In a text-based world, I'm beautiful. My favorite things in life: *cocoa *hugs *banana paraphernalia (chips, smoothies, ice cream....) *knowing that I am understood. *good pens/pencils *writing down my thoughts *serving *conversations of the deep sort. *spending time with those that I love. *a cleansing bunch of noise once in a while *quiet the rest of the time *blogging my lil heart out *understanding *noticing the little things that generally don't matter. *being just a little bit different *pretending to be a poser "You must do the things you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt. This is straightforwardly me. |
| It was really ard to log in today, since 2 letters in my password don't work on tis keyboard. (te letter between g and i doesn't work, and l, k, m, and y are all pretty toug to type...) I don't like c'ange. I wis' t'at my family worked better... Like t'is keyboard... I t'ink t'at I understand t'em better t'an I used to... But sometimes I wonder..... And it bugs me t'at I seem to be t'e only person w'o cares so muc' about w'et'er my family works. Wow. T'ere is a ne'pew on my lap. I didn't rea'ize t'at it's so 'ard to type wit' a kid on your lap.... Danny P'antom is on TV, t'oug', so all 4 boys are 'appily turning t'eir eyes into squares... Rig't... I'm looking for a nickname for someone... Any ideas along t'e lines of 'seeker', 'pursuer', or 'follower'? Yea', yea', I know: "www.babnames.com" I miss 'anging out 'ere. |
| I kinda didn't live anywhere over the semester. I had an apartment where I slept most nights and stayed most weekends, but I was almost never there during the week. I never made dishes, etc. And now I'm getting used to cleaning up a mess that was made when making macaroni. {e:sigh} Don't worry. I'll live.  |
| I haven't been singing like I used too... Just an observation. (I used to sing so much that I'd get many "Shut ups!" a day...) |
| Summers are usually a little off for me. I won't be here much. I'll try to stay up-to-date, at least mostly. As for my contest, I can't believe that I was so irresponsible about that. I don't know what I'll do, I'll get back to everyone about that in a bit. Life isn't as angsty as it usually is at home. Let's hope that it stays that way. (It's probably just because Mom has a boyfriend-thing going on) |
| Most college kids are silver-spooners... Silver-spooner: 1.One who is born with a silver spoon in his/her mouth. 2.A person brought up in a life a priviledge. 3.One who has never had a real problem. 4.Someone with waaaaay too much money to toss around. All three of my roomies were silver-spooners. They left all this stuff behind that they didn't want, and I've made a killing. I've gotten myself some bath mats, some easymac, a new fish bowl (Fluff's is cracked), a pedicure kit, a ton of hair gunk, and a Cuisinart coffee pot, to start out with. I could've had a grill, several garbage cans, several plant pots, plenty of food, and miscellaneous stuff like ice-cube trays, buckets, and a cable cord. I'm amazed at what people will throw away... Anyway, I'm off to finish sorting through what I've begun to call 'the leftovers'. I'll be gone even more for a long time.  |
 I woke up at 7:58 this morning, naturally. No alarm clock, no nothing. It was marvellous. I've been in a good mood all day... I'd forgotten how unpleasant night hours can be sometimes. I'm not whining, I'm exclaiming at how marvellous it is to be able to be awake when there is sun. I've been using kiosks and labs all week for email and such, so sorry if I've been leaving anyone hanging. |
| Yiiii.... Lots to tell... Kinda. I won't get to it, most likely. exams=almost over. We're playing volleyball on Wednesday. Then there is a GIG meeting, which I have yet to prepare for. I still lack a place to sleep on Friday night.... I'm almost too shy to ask the two people whom I could stay with... I'm not lacking in attention from guys. Just from the one whom I want attention from.  Anyway, ttyl |
| Sometimes I just can't figure a person out... |
| The picnic was so much fun... I don't think I mentioned it, but it was yesterday, and it was a blast. And I have SOOOO much leftover food... I'm begging people to eat it.... And I've yet to have a taker! |
| Fabulous mood. It's intriguing. (I really am in a good mood) I'll try to explain myself, okay? I have self-esteem issues. Most people do, at least to some degree. But usually I honestly feel like a second-class person, and that anyone who will put up with me and be nice to me is especially wonderful. There are topics that I never bring up, or that I bring up carefully, because they point out how unfit I am. I never really talk about my weight, my childhood, at least when relating to parents, and my political views stay submerged at almost all times. (if you can get me to dish on this topic, you're unusually patient, or I'm unusually serious. All of this was just a part of who I was. In fact, until last night, I was unaware that it even happened. But it does; even with my best friends, I do not feel fit to be with them sometimes. My conversation is all about the other person, my actions... I might have talked ABOUT myself, but it was for the other person. To avoid awkwardness, and because even the most selfish person will notice if all we talk about is that person. At times, I don't/didn't even feel fit to say, "Hi," to this upper class of people on Aim. Holly is online right now, but I can't say anything. And a compliment from 'above' is enough to warm my entire day. Bill wrote on my wall and told me that the IV service last night was cool... I didn't believe him, but I responded. I *know* that he won't respond, and if he does, my mind will not comprehend it. Is this a complication of the past? Why do I do this? Why does Hannah get the upper hand in our relationship? She is allowed to tease me as much as she'd like to, but I teasing is something I'm VERY careful about with her. She can say almost anything around me. Don't get me wrong; I take teasing very well. I tease back, I laugh, etc. But Hannah has taken it to a new level. Around her I really do feel inadequate. I've become the person that she thinks I am, too. She thinks that I'm obvious, loud, pointless, obnoxious, and stupid, I think. There are times when I wonder why she would want to hang out with a person like me... But it is her that has continued the relationship... She's the one that calls and asks me to dinner nearly every night of the week. I call once in a while. And if someone has to cancel, it's me, not her. If Hannah and I talk about me, I bring me up. Usually i do this after she has started to repeat herself. She doesn't usually act very interested, unless it was a story of me doing something very stupid. (Like when I sat next to the super-hot guy in the computer lab, and what I said to him... That's a blog in itself!) Do I feel superior around anyone? Jenise? Sometimes. Lank? No. But I do feel pretty equal. I do. Hannah, even? Sometimes. There are people who I feel superior to at specific moments. But I know that Jenise is cooler than I am. That's one of the barriers between us. And Hannah? There are times when I look down on her... Maybe that's why I have no opinion in so many matters: the opinion of the other person is more important than mine? Well, if that's so, then I've become very good at hiding my own opinion, because even I can't find it. (usually) That's the thing, is these things do not hold true at all times... I wish I could figure out when they are true. I definitely feel more lowly if I'm not as clean as I could be.... So what am I exploring? Well, I don't believe it's possible that one person can have less value than another... So I'm wondering why I came to be this way, and I'm exploring the points. |
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And when you think about it, what kind of a Christian you are is really between you and God, strictly. Never feel ashamed of falling short. If God wanted us to be perfect today, we certainly would be. 
