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Wednesday, May. 8, 2024

7:22pm EDT

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

September 2, 2020 at 12:07am

#992097

Just be positive... unless you can't

Artist: Sum 41
Song: In Too Deep
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: Be inspired by this quote: "Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning." - Mahatma Gandhi

Well, I managed to do 20 reviews today.

10 short stories and 10 poems. Next up is 10 anniversary reviews and 10 newbie reviews. It's like quadruple GPs this week or something like that.

The really shocking part? I did all 20 of them either on lunch break or while sitting on pointless conference calls.

Scary to think I have that much time at work. I mean, I usually just draw or write in my journal during this long conferences. I used to take notes but then I realized that I literally never even glanced at the notes again after writing them so that was kind of pointless.

So anyway, ah, yes... self-fulfilling prophecies. I definitely believe in the power of positive (and negative) thinking. I know your mental state has power because I’ve fallen into the trap of ruminating on negative thoughts and it’s totally detrimental to both your mental and physical health.

The problem, of course, is that it’s way easier said than done. I can consciously know that thinking negatively results in negativity, but how can someone with an anxiety disorder whose physical brain functions abnormally just decide to be positive instead of negative?

The short answer is that you can’t. My brain chemistry is never going to function normally on its own. What you can do is attempt to think positively, take medication as needed, take care of yourself as best as you can. The things that get me out of slumps like the one I had last month are:

1) drinking water and eating decently healthy

2) attempting to sleep a normal amount (not 4 hours a day, not 12 hours a day)

3) distracting myself by going outside, journaling, watching movies, reading, listening to music

4) leaning on a support system

5) focusing on philosophies, therapy techniques, mindful activities, and other positive outlets

That being said, I still have negative thoughts. I don’t promote this ideology that if you were in a negative mindset, you caused negative things to happen in your life. Yes, your positive mindset might help you overcome obstacles more easily, but don’t beat yourself up if you’re someone like me whose brain is a whole-ass rollercoaster.

Humans have self-doubt. They have worries and concerns. The more you care about something, the more you want it, the more anxious you may become. Just do the best you can and remember who you’re striving to be.

I lean on stoicism a lot during my most difficult times because I believe in the teachings of stoicism. Not that you are not allowed to suffer, but that suffering is a natural part of life that we all must experience at times. I try to accept that and nail into my head as much as possible, and over time it has helped. It has made me stronger.

And with that, here are a couple of my favorite stoic quotes that I personally prefer to the one in this prompt.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

This quote reminds me that the way I’m processing something might be actively making the situation worse than it is in reality. It also reminds me that I’m the one who controls what and who makes me suffer. If someone else is causing me pain, I can revoke their ability to do that.

“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” ~ Epictetus

This is much the same, but it’s something I roll around in my head frequently because I do tend to have temper flares. This is the type of philosophy I most lean on. It’s not a religion, and I don’t use it as one. But when people quote religious texts, I think of stoic philosophers.

Maybe we're just trying too hard
When really it's closer than it is too far

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