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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 10:42 I'm still struggling with the idea of planning a story. I don't like what I have so far but I don't know where to take it from here either. I did not like that ending. It's clear that Blujarmin is the ultimate threat but he isn't defeated in any way, shape, or form in this story - it seems that that is the plot for a sequel. In Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn book 1 (I forgot the name - I read it like two years ago), Kelsier is fighting to bring down the emperor whatshisface because he's a giant douchebag and people are suffering. But in defeating him, Kelsier awakens another evil and that is the focus of the second book, but it's not made that big a deal of at the end of the first book - as in, you don't get to see the new threat - because even if the heroes did unleash another evil, they still defeated the villain for that story. I feel like I'm lacking here. Severely. Settia is a good guy holding back an ancient evil. Hunter, though angry and feeling betrayed - which leads to him doing some pretty stupid things - is still a good guy. There's the problem. But then I feel like I'm copying Mistborn too much lol. All-righty, so Blujarmin is the ancient evil whose prison is slowly eroding with time. To hasten the process, he need only search out a likely-looking individual with lots of anger issues, who is more likely to be controlled, and get them to physically break the prison from the outside. And of course, he goes for someone in a position of power. Cue Hunter, the son of the World Emperor and next in line to become the ruler. An entitled brat of a prince, Hunter has some severe complexes around his position in the world. Oh, and he's got daddy issues. Disappeared Dad Deiarlis Svolteria is too busy ruling the world to pay attention to his children and when he is around, he is much too busy playing with his three little daughters rather than paying any attention to his successor. So when Blujarmin's little bobbing light traverses the hallways of the royal palace, it comes across Hunter in a bad mood, mistreating some maids. Hunter begins the process of breaking down Blujarmin's prison, which is located in some far away land. With the prince AWOL, Deiarlis is frantic and sends search teams out to bring him back. But Hunter, possessed by Blujarmin, just kills anyone who gets too close. Deiarlis then decides that his champion, Settia, will have to be the one to defeat the prince and bring him back. Naturally, the showdown must happen right outside the prison. Settia and Hunter have been good friends since childhood. Settia has always been the better fighter but Hunter, aided by Blujarmin, is able to defeat him and destroys the prison in the end. ...You know what? Maybe I should just stop. I've now got the same problem! It sounds boring and the villain is released at the end. Maybe a witch will have to come into the picture at some point, telling Settia what he must do to ensure Blujarmin does not get free. And in the background, Blujarmin's Nothingness has already started to claim some land, plunging entire villages, towns, and cities - and even some small countries - into darkness. The stakes are high! The darkness moves towards the capital! Settia must act quickly. Ok, I'm done. 11:09 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 09:23 Before I wrote the chapter summary yesterday, a wrote a hefty entry which I ended up losing after some phone data troubles and I was short on time last night so I didn't attempt to recall the lost information. I'll try to recall what I wrote now. I was looking for a name for the piece. I don't usually name my stories right off the bat, unless I have a really good idea of what the title should be. Usually, story documents are titled as the main character's name followed by the word "Novel" or "Story". Simply inspiring! I don't stress about names, although I would like to have a good title. I am quite intrigued by the concept of naming a story after the villain, though. Not "Blujarmin", but something more obscure. Like..."Tay Kerov Wourldz". And you wouldn't know it was about the villain until you get some backstory late in the game and suddenly you're like "So it's named after the villain!"  I'll leave off "Tay Kerov Wourldz" though lol. "The Chaos that Calls"? "Chaos Calls"? I shall have to think on it more. I suppose I could try and write out the last chapter, just so I have a clear idea of what I'm working towards. I don't like writing final chapters first. It then feels like I have to aim for that for the rest of the story and it kind of takes the fun out of writing and discovering. Plus, with the characters always evolving, the first impression of them will not be accurate. In addition, a climax means having some idea of what's happening and I don't. At all. Even with a summary, I don't quite get how it all goes down. But, oh well. Let's give it a shot. I understand this might be a bit long so feel free to skip. --- Final Chapter: There was a commotion outside the throne room, where Settia was seeing his subjects and noting their concerns. The Royal Guards were positioned around the large chamber but immediately moved to stand in front of the door. The people cowered, falling into silence as the clamour outside grew. "...would be very kind of you if you could sort out the problem, Majesty." a peasant man was saying as he knelt before the throne. "The farms have been ransacked several times now. The little thieves just take what they want!" Settia cleared his throat. The peasant looked up. "I think it would be wise if you could step to the side." He nodded towards the doors. The peasant only then seemed to note the silence in the chamber and the noise outside. He scampered away, head bowed. The doors burst open. Several armoured men were thrown backwards, along with some of the Royal Guards from outside the chamber. They sailed above the red carpet and came to land a few paces before Settia's throne. Settia got to his feet. Guards flocked to protect him as he descended the steps. "You should run, sire." the head of the guard, Barbane, said. He bore scratches on his helm and a trail of blood was dripping from the bottom of it, onto his silver armour. "We don't know what this thing is. It's...It's unlike anything we've ever faced before." Settia kept his gaze trained on the space between the doors, where guards were still being flung about as if they weighed nothing. Screams could be heard from them, along with groans of pain. The floor was awash with the blood of men who were sacrificing themselves for his sake. "Get me the sword." he said through gritted teeth. "It seems Hunter has arrived earlier than we agreed." Indeed, as the number of broken and mangled bodies decreased, he saw Hunter standing in the doorway. But it was only Hunter's shell. The Seal of Barkone etched upon Settia's chest tingled, irritating his skin. He scratched at it. It was moving. Blujarmin might as well be loose. The Seal seemed worthless, when the Nothingness could just possess whoever it wanted and use them as a puppet. This wasn't the plan, Hunter, he thought, as someone handed him his sword. Couldn't you have held out a little longer? I had a plan. A plan that was only halfway through completion. He glanced down at the sword in his hand. It had been crafted with a slit in the middle and embedded in that slit, there was a clear tube filled with red liquid. His blood. If his blood was what was needed to keep Blujarmin in his prison, then he would strike down whatever Blujarmin used to escape. But it wasn't finished. It was supposed to link to a new prison, fuelled by the blood of tens of potential Holders for the Seal of Barkone, to diminish whatever possibility Blujarmin had of escaping within the next few centuries. He didn't think it would work but he would try. Hunter kicked the last guard out of his way and turned to Settia, a mad grin stretching his lips too wide, almost ear to ear. There was no hint of the green of his eyes, so much like the colour of Settia's own eyes, but instead lifeless blackness stared out at the Emperor. "You shouldn't have chosen him as your vessel," Settia said, lifting his sword. Although it was impossible to tell where exactly those black eyes were looking, he got the feeling the thing was staring at the sword. The grin abated a tiny bit. "I saw in him potential," Blujarmin said, stalking forward over the blood-stained red carpet. "Lots of anger and malice. Directed at you, you who took from him the very reason for his existence." "So you thought you could do with him as you willed?" "Of course. None would miss one such as Hunter Svolteria." "You were wrong." Settia charged. [Cue long and unnecessarily drawn out battle] Settia fell to his knees, the sword sliding from his fingers. "Hunter..." The darkness cleared from Hunter's eyes. He seemed to take a while to get his bearings. He took in the half-destroyed throne room, the debris and the bodies littering the floor, and finally looked down at Settia. "...What...What happened?" he croaked, dropping his sword and kneeling beside his friend. "Sett, what happened?" "He's...free," Settia had to struggle to push the words out. The Seal was writhing on his chest. He couldn't see it but he could feel the lines of it shifting and forming new shapes, anticipating the ending of his life, when the lines would form the pattern that would unlock Blujarmin's prison. Hunter shook his head. "No, that can't be right. You...You had a plan, right? You were going to defeat him and...and we'd all get through this! Come on, Sett! Father chose you over me because you were stronger, because you'd do a better job than me!" Settia managed a quick quirk of the lips which looked more like a grimace than a smile. "He chose me only because I could carry the Seal, broth..." His breathing became more laboured. His eyes glazed over. "Sett? No. you can't just go like this! S-Sett!" Hunter's voice cracked. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was such a sore loser! This is all my fault!" He knelt with his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry...!" "If you are truly sorry, perhaps there is something you can do." a voice said behind him. He sat up. "Father?" "Although I do think you could have been stronger and given us a bit more time, I also understand that Blujarmin would have just chosen someone else to act on his behalf if you had not been available." The former Emperor navigated the debris littering the floor and made his way to his son. He gazed down at Settia's inert form and sighed, closing his eyes and muttering a prayer. "The Seal is no longer necessary." he said when he opened his eyes again. "The Emperor is dead. With regard to your previous position as the crown prince, you are now Emperor. Congratulations, son. Your dream has come true. Now get up and save your dominion." --- Whew! I didn't actually take me two+ hours to write - I just took a really long break in-between. These things can get hard! And boring -_- I did not like it. I felt it was too cliched and predictable...or not? But it's the first run and things will definitely change as I go along. Also, I know there are probably a million typos but I cannot be bothered going back over it to check right now. I feel drained, and it isn't even noon yet! 11:32 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 23:44 sixteen minutes to write a whole novel's summary. This should be easy! Chapter One: Hunter Svolteria, former crown prince of Blugaste, is waiting for death when, instead, he is visited by a little ball of light. The light is actually a pixie, sent at the behest of Blujarmin the Chaos Bringer, who has sensed Hunter's isolation and his thirst for vengeance and decided to help him grant his wish - take back the throne that should rightly have been his. Chapter Two: Hunter meets with a girl called Letti, who is on a quest of her own due to Blujarmin. She is looking for her family, who abandoned her at birth because of the birthmark that runs down the length of her face. They decide to help one another achieve their goals. Chapter Three: Settia Ballia, current World Emperor of the planet of Blugaste and Holder of the Seal of Barkone (the latter is a secret, shh!) is hearing voices. He enters the secluded chamber in which is sealed the Nothingness that once threatened to wipe out the planet. Blujarmin appears before him and laughs, warning that his time is near. Soon, the Nothingness shall have free reign once more... Chapter Four: Hunter and Letti come across an old village, where children play out scenes from old stories told by the elders. One of these scenes features a child playing the role of "the Nothingness" and wiping out everything. The two then go to the elders to ask about this story. Chapter Five: Conflicted over what he should do now that he has an inkling of what Blujarmin wants him for, Hunter decides to meet with his old friend Settia. It proves much harder than he'd thought, now that he is no longer crown prince. Chapter Six: Having finally gotten through to his friend Settia, Hunter describes to him what Blujarmin has asked him to do. Settia asks him to do it, saying that Blujarmin's spirit is awakening and they would only be delaying the inevitable. They set a date and decide they will help the world at that time. Until then, they can only prepare. Chapter Seven: The Nothingness grows stronger. Parts of the world have been assailed by it and huge swathes of nothing are appearing in the planet. Hunter, at Settia's command, tries his best not to give away his newfound allegiance to his old friend. Bluejarmin's whisperings in his ear grows stronger and he finds himself blacking out at odd moments, unable to recall what he did in those times. He is scared. Chapter Eight: The blank patches in Hunter's memory continue to grow. When he comes to, he is fighting palace guards and killing innocents. Ashamed and full of loathing for himself and Blujarmin, he vows to do whatever he can to make sure Settia succeeds in his on-going battle with the Nothingness. Blujarmin has other ideas. Chapter Nine: Before their agreed battle, a possessed Hunter seeks out Settia and enters into a fight. He emerges victorious and comes to just in time to see Settia die, his blood spilling out and, with Blujarmin's manipulation, forms a seal which begins to unlock itself. Blujarmin is free. And that's all for today, folks! I'm a bit over the time :( I did try to write this entry earlier in the day, on my phone, but either the website wasn't functioning as well as usual or my data was having a bad day. I wrote loads. Then I hit refresh because the page kept telling me there was something wrong. I lost everything :'( 00:07 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 23:37 I thought I'd done my entry. I've been watching Netflix for about an hour, clueless that I'd opened a tab to do my blog beforehand. I forget things too easily. So, yesterday I outlined the bare skeleton of my story which I am hoping to do on here. There is a World Emperor and his son did not inherit his title, but rather the son's friend did. In a fit of rage, the son tried to kill his friend to take the title and ended up exiled for his trouble. The World Emperor chose the friend because he possessed a unique quality that made him suitable for the position of Emperor because he also had another job to do alongside ruling the world - he had to keep an ancient evil at bay by the power of his blood. The ancient evil that he is to guard is the nothingness which once swept the land and threatened to plunge the world into darkness, for it cannot abide the light. Cast of characters: Hunter Svolteria, scion of the House of Svolteria, an ancient house among the Noble Races of...Blugaste, the world upon which the story takes place. Sattis Bullia, adopted son of the House of Svolteria and current World Emperor of Blugaste and holder of the seal of Barkone. Deiarlis Svolteria, Head of the House of Svolteria, recently retired World Emperor and holder of the Seal of Barkone. Blujarmin, the physical manifestation of the "Nothingness" that existed before time itself. Looks disappointingly like a middle-aged man with spectacles and walks with a slight hunch. When he bothers to walk. More to follow... Tomorrow, I'll try a brief chapter-by-chapter summary. And maybe work on some of these spur-of-the-moment names. And try not to think about the story too hard - I want to do the planning before I begin. I'm starting to get interested now. 23:53 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 19:46 I've decided not to do the July round for the 30-Day Blogging Challenge. Just random entries this time, I suppose. I just feel a bit more pressured to write a blog entry if I have to post it on the forum. Not that I don't feel pressured anyway, but I guess it just feels a bit...easier (??) to write whatever pops into my head as I sit down to write. I wrote yesterday about how planning a novel is pretty hard for me, because my story mostly forms as I go along. Even now, I have some vague idea of where my novel going because...I've already written it out twice lol. But I'm going big this time, so it's still fairly knew though I'm planning on recycling what I wrote before whenever I can. But I have no idea how much it's going to change and it's a bit difficult to let go of what I've already written since I put so much effort into it and now, nobody will get to read it. But that has to be okay - sacrifices must be made if one wants to achieve something good. Anyways, each successive rewrite of the same story is only going to get better, because the flow is smoother, the consistency is more...consistent, and the characters have had the previous manuscripts to develop into the people I want them to be. Sounds epic but it certainly doesn't feel that way upon writing the tedious bits XD Anyways, I was going to attempt to pluck out a random idea for a story and just do that as a separate attempt at writing after having planned everything out. So...idea: A man is sitting in a dark alley, hugging his knees, when a little blue-white light comes bobbing towards him. ...It had to be something fantasy-related  This is what usually happens though. I'll see one clear moment and then have a desire to build upon that. I had to force this one so I don't know where I'm going with it. I kept thinking of Stephen King's Everything's Eventual, where he mentions that he got the idea for the story after visualising a man throwing money into a gutter or something. So. Brooding man and bobbing light. It had to be a brooding man. I guess it's basically Kaladin from the Stormlight Archive, since...y'know, I might be a tiny bit attracted to such characters  This man kills his...childhood friend in a sword-fight and ends up unleashing...er...chaos upon the planet? Lovely. The sword-fight came about due to Mr Broody being the son of the World Emperor but his childhood friend, Mr Chaos-Bringer, being the one who ended up the next ruler. Mr Broody felt wronged and tried to kill the guy before but ended up being disowned by his family, hence the bum-sitting-in-the-alley. The light that then came to him was the spirit of Unleashed-Chaos, finding in him something that it could use to free itself and traps Mr Broody by promising vengeance and his rightful place as the ruler of the world. The World Emperor is also the World Protector and his job is to keep a leash on the Chaos and, with his untimely death, the Chaos breaks free. The idea drew a few things from Mistborn #1, which is the only Mistborn book that I have read. Ok, so I now have the basic outline of the story. Maybe I'll write it. Maybe I won't. Maybe this can be my July Blogging Challenge - to finish this story within my entries before the month is up! I will keep you posted! ...Sorry for the looooooooong entry. 20:13 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 10:13 I'm quite busy today. Those kinds of days are usually good days. I like being productive, which is weird because...I kind of like being lazy too. Well, no, I don't like being lazy. Being lazy is something that just happens. Well...I don't know. Let's just leave it there. I did make a start on my novel yesterday, like I'd promised myself I would. I got in about 1300 words. And there I was, thinking very optimistically that I'd try and get in 10, 000 words! In fairness, I went to my mum's and there is no computer there so I had a seven hour break which really could have been used better. Although I've resolved to plan out my stories before I begin, I'm struggling with it. I can't visualise what I want my story to be until I've written it, completed it, and then begun anew so I can iron out creases and sort out characterisation so it's all consistent. I get that it's time-consuming but I just can't come to terms with doing it another way. It's coming up with a compelling plot that's the hardest thing, and then thinking of what the ending is going to be before you've even begun writing properly. Let's see if I can do something here. Basic plot: Character A is running from her family. A plot like this requires you to have a reunion with the family, right? So something else. Hmm...Character A has done wrong to Character B and has decided to take herself out of his life. Again, requires the writer to make them meet up at the end. The problem here is that it sounds too simple. I get that you'd add elements as you progress, to make it more riveting, but if the plot is predictable, then I can't demonstrate what I mean because my problem is that I can't typically think of what the ending is going to be. Or maybe I could write any kind of story and just need to buckle down and get on with it. I'm so undisciplined. Well, this entry has been all over the place! It's always interesting to see what I'll write about since, without prompts, I have no idea what kind of things I'll explore. Actually, even with a prompt, I don't know what kind of things I'll explore! 10:32 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 11:26 Pretty straightforward title, right? I was wondering what to write about and my son was climbing onto my chair behind me so I thought, why not! He's got chicken pox right now. You would think he would be a little less of a nuisance when he's ill but noooo, of course not! He's everywhere! Every single thing that I tell him not to do, he does without delay. He seems to have taken a particular liking for the wheely, spinny chair which I'm sat on right now. I don't blame him but I can't do anything when he's trying to push me off! Aside from that, other things which are really getting on my nerves these days are my kitten, who wants to go outside all the time, and my husband, who has also had chicken pox and has been the biggest annoyance around these past week (although he was a lot better yesterday and has since been a lot more human). Basically, I'm annoyed by everything. Maybe there's something here...maybe, in actuality, the problem is...me? X_X Meh. I'm trying to get back into the mindset of writing my novel - manuscript no. ...3.5? Something like that. I'm wasting so much time. I have two assignments that still need doing and I keep putting those off too. But a few days ago, I had a bit of an epiphany. Well, not as much an epiphany as a moment of annoyance at myself (hey, I guess I do have a problem! I annoy even myself!) because it's a pretty obvious thing. If you wait for the "right moment" to come along before you make a start on something, you'll be waiting forever. How do you even tell which moment is right? Is there going to be a holy glow coming from the computer screen, with words magically appearing, telling you that the time is now? If something needs to be done, you need to do it now. Don't leave for tomorrow what you can do today, right? Not just in writing, but in being a mother too. I keep telling myself that my relationship with my son will be much better as he grows older. I'll shout less and we'll talk more as he starts to understand more. But the foundations I'm setting for him, the too-strict boundaries I want him to adhere to at all costs...won't it just mean he'll rebel later and do whatever he can to not spend time with me? Attitudes and behaviours have a tendency to become habits and I don't want being a harsh and overly strict mom to become my default attitude towards him. This got deep, surprisingly. Anyways, I'm hoping to start working on my novel today! I'll report back tomorrow how I did (if I did), if I remember. 11:45 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 09:51 "Today, write about an experience that wowed you. When was the last time your jaw fell open? Where were you the last time you felt awe and admiration? As best you can, share your experience in a way that your blog reader can feel the same wonder you felt." This one is pretty easy, actually. I am regularly surprised and awed. By life. By nature. By the ingenuity of human beings as a minute reflection of God's vast creative power. The innocence of children. The smile of a baby. The wide-eyed stare of my often annoying kitten. "But these are everyday things, Shiki!" I hear you say. Yes, they are. And it requires a specific mindset to see the wonder in these everyday things. You have to take a moment. Begin with a deep breath. Let go of the frustrations with people, even if you feel like you want to erupt with a stream of profanities (case in point - my child is bullying my kitten as I type, due to his indignation that I took him off my chair so I could write this). Just take a step back. Look at some greenery. Look at the pattern on the leaves or the shape of the petals on the flower. Study the sky. Yesterday, I think we had clear blue skies for the first time this year! It was lovely. I just sat back, looking up. Not a speck of cloud directly overhead. Just deep, unending, unblemished blue. It was the most beautiful thing ever. The summer sky is perfect. There's an amazing view from the top of my street, before the slope goes down towards the houses. Beyond the ugly-ass dwellings of human beings, there's an expanse of greenery. I think there's a park somewhere behind my house - way beyond a a thick line of trees, some train tracks, and a canal which I cannot see. The view from the top of that slope is of distant hills dotted with trees that look about the size of mushrooms from my vantage point. I see the occasional colourful dot that is a car or other vehicle, but mostly, it's just vast greenery. It's brilliant. Not so much in the autumn but right now, it's beautiful. I know I'm usually quite pessimistic but I guess a love for nature keeps me somewhat balanced. 10:09 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 12:00 I guess the title is pretty self-explanatory. Have I been surprised by something or someone recently? I guess so. New things are happening all the time and people's reactions to old things can change too. I went to a conference last Saturday and one of the speakers was a Palestinian-American lady who projected herself really well. I was just in awe. As someone who is not white, I do sometimes find myself feeling apologetic for the times when my people (Asians in this case, not Muslims) do silly things that don't fit in with "British Values". This lady was not apologetic at all. I guess that sort of attitude is something to aspire to. Other than that, although I've convinced myself that we human beings are garbage collectively, I'm still horror-struck at every story of lowlifes doing lowlife things. It's almost as if I expect that human beings can actually be...humane. Well, yes, I do. I know some nice people. I try to be a nice person (not sure how I'm doing). I know that within each person there is an array of thoughts and feelings and behaviours and defence mechanisms and history both good and bad that makes that individual a human being, and that even the most worthless people probably have some redeeming qualities somewhere, buried deeply under the piles of s*** that they live with on a daily basis. Yeah, I'm feeling kind of pessimistic today. On a plus note, I've nearly finished Oathbringer and my God! It is awesome! I don't want it to end! Does anyone know when the next one is out? 12:11 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 13:37 "Are you (or were you ever) a thrill-seeker? Do you visit carnivals or theme parks? What do you do that gets your heart pounding? Have you ever had a brush with death?" Ok, in order: No. I'm perfectly fine feeling safe, secure, and boringly alive, thank you very much! I have on occasion visited theme parks. I don't know if I do anything that gets my heart pounding. I like the idea of running - the thrill of movement is something that I wish I could enjoy more of but I'm too embarrassed to run on the roads and I can't run for very long because I'll be panting and wheezing after just a few metres. No. Thank God for that! I guess some would say that you feel most alive when your blood is pumping and you've experienced an extreme sort of emotion. But, really, I'm perfectly fine to continue my mundane, uber-ordinary existence. If only someone else would look after my kid on occasion so I could do my existing by myself, in peace and solitude. Aaah, those were the days...:'( I am tired. As always. I'm running between my mum's house and mine this week. My sister has the earlier shift at work so I need to be there when her kids come home from school (the three of them live with my parents). My mum is usually the one who's there when they get back home but she's gone to Pakistan so that responsibility now falls to me. It's a nightmare! They don't have a computer so I can't write!  13:47 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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