%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
|
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 23:20 I won't write 10 mins. I'm on my phone. I've not turned my computer on at all today. My friend and her kids stayed over and it has been a very eventful day and a half. I'm tired as hell but I've had a good time. I don't often have friends coming over so it was good to see her the whole day. It's been lively. I don't know when I'll be able to do some writing. I'm not very hopeful that I'll be able to keep up the waking-at-5am thing for another couple days. This morning, I barely woke up for my morning prayer. I will try my best. 23:25 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 06:36 I'm writing from my phone today, so the entry probably won't be very long. My computer is updating and it's been a couple minutes already but it's still at 0% so...yeah. That's the second thing that has not gone according to plan. The first thing is that my son is already awake. I would have liked at least an hour to myself, to do some writing and work on my assignment a little bit, but he's wide awake so I'll have to do the best I can. I don't understand why he's up so early. He went to sleep at half seven last night and didn't nap in the daytime so I thought he'd sleep at least 12 hours. Argh! We have a pretty busy day ahead. My friend is coming over with her kids later this morning and they're going to spend the night. I'm so excited! I've only ever had like two sleepovers with friends in my entire life! I'll leave it there for today. It's not been ten minutes but oh well. I have no idea what else to write about. 06:43 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 06:32 I've been waking up early for three days now. It's not getting old, as such. I still love that I have the opportunity to do some writing before my son wakes up but I did not want to get out of bed today. The problem lies in when I go to sleep. I got in at half nine yesterday and put my little one to bed and then took my time doing my night prayer before going to sleep at 23:30 or so. The aim was ten thirty  I plan to get in a nap during the day, after I've read the afternoon prayer, but specifically taking time out to sleep during the day is hard. I guess I'll have to make the time, otherwise I'm going to crash sooner or later with this early morning routine. I got a fair amount of writing done after yesterday's entry, although I didn't look over my college assignment. I'm hoping I won't be called to come over anywhere today. I just want to stay at home. That way, I can get on with some of the things I wish to do. Like painting a canvas for my brother or finally getting around to sewing the three pairs of trousers I measured several weeks ago. Oh, and my place is a pigsty so I need to clean it. I have guests coming to stay tomorrow  And that is all for today. I'm going to do some more writing now! )6:42 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 06:26 Thank God on I'm on the last letter of the alphabet. I'll try to keep titles relevant after this lol. This waking up early thing is working a treat. The possibilities are endless...so long as my son doesn't wake up early too! I'm going to polish off my assignment and then submit it for this week, hopefully. And then perhaps I can start reworking my novel seriously while I begin my next assignment. The assignments are never-ending! Had a great Eid yesterday! Lots of relatives came over. I visited two different houses, although that's nothing out of the ordinary. It was a lively day and today is set to be lively too, with some more relatives from more far-flung towns coming over. It's also my niece's birthday. I've been asked to bake for her so I've done a batch of cupcakes, which I will decorate when I go downstairs. She wanted little fondant badges depicting the various things she likes, as flat cake toppers, but I've run out of icing so...yeah. The little madam will be disappointed. Not much more to say right now. It's a pretty short entry and I keep clicking on a new tab before reminding myself I'm in the middle of something. I'm too easily distracted. Hopefully that won't be the case as I try to get some writing done! 06:39 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 08:09 I didn't get enough sleep last night but I got up bright and early. It's a good feeling, being up before the little one and having some time to myself. It's much better this way, rather than relying on a few hours after he's gone to bed and then running late and going to bed at like one or two in the morning in pursuit of the muse. I'm freshened up and know that I can't spend hours and hours here since my son will be up soon, which provides some much-needed urgency in trying to get things done. I've tackled a bit more of my assignment and done some writing. I've read some Qur'an and done a bit of my languages. With this entry done, that will be 2.5 items out of three crossed off my daily checklist. A great start to the day! Now I'm going to get my son fed and ready and then we'll be heading out to my parents' house for Eid, where we will see lots of family over the course of the day. The adults typically give the kids money and, if we're lucky, some of us adults will get some from our parents. Good times, good times! I wish I was a kid again :( And somehow that short entry has led to nine minutes passing by just like that. I hope that's not indicative of the rest of the day! I thought waking up early would stretch out my time a little! 08:19 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 23:31 Yeah, I ran out of ideas for relevant alphabetical titles. I can't stay long today - I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. I plan to wake up for the morning prayer at five and not go back to sleep. I recently heard of this thing called the 4am Club - I heard it from somebody and I think it's about people going to work at that time and still having time in the day to get on with their lives. So I thought I'd apply it to my routine. I hate waking up late but that's generally what happens if you sleep late so I'm trying to get to sleep earlier nowadays. It's from the prophetic tradition of Muhammad (PBUH) that one shouldn't sleep after the morning prayer anyway. I've had a good day today - I've stayed home all day! Yay! I cleaned the kitchen in the morning (kind of). I put out a laundry load. I did a decent amount of ironing. I am only one question away from finishing one of my college assignments! I did a tiny bit of writing. All round good day, thank God! They come around every once in a while to keep the balance, I suppose. Tomorrow is Eid-ul-Adha, the second festival of the Muslim year. It doesn't feel like it. It never feels like it. We all just troop off to my parents' place because everyone visits us there, which means my mum slaves away in the kitchen from like dawn. It's a shame what culture has twisted what should have been a day of joy into. The men...Oof, the men flit about from one house to another like...like...creatures that flit from one thing to another? I said I wouldn't stay long but it's been eleven minutes already! I'm glad I managed it today - I was thinking I'd have to give it a miss! 23:43 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 09:49 I got out of bed a few minutes ago and thought I'd do some work. My son stayed over at my brother's house last night so it's all very quiet here. In truth, I thought I'd get to lie-in a bit more (because waking up at nine thirty when the usual time is seven isn't a lie-in at all!) but that didn't happen. I'm trying to sort my sleeping habits out but one late night on the computer just erases everything. I was about to open up some college assignments and try to get something done but I thought I'd do my blog first and maybe outline some of the things I'd like to get done before tonight. Checklists are harder to ignore when there's visible proof that you had something on them, right? I would definitely like to finish up the assignment I received back, with comments telling me to make corrections (and add the two questions I completely missed out ). And then there's the research assignment, which is just...pfft! I hurriedly did it the first time around, because I had no idea what I was doing and I was so glad to be rid of it. But now it's back! And worse than ever! The other thing to do by tonight - at least 1000 words on any story. I'm not even fussed at this point. It can even be for a story I wrote years and years ago which I have long since lost interest in. Must. Write! And then there's the usual items on my checklist - the languages, reading some Qur'an, and this blog. That's one item checked off. Great start to the day! 09:59 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 22:36 I felt some uplifting vibes when I wrote 948 words for a story, although my absolute minimum per day is 1000 words, but I haven't written that well for some time so...yes, uplifting vibes. It was a fanfic but at this point, I'll take whatever I can get! I want to start work on my novel's second draft but I'm just not feeling it. I'm so disillusioned with everything. Perhaps "disillusioned" is not the right word - the summer heat may be getting to me. I don't have the energy or the motivation to do anything worthwhile with my time. One of my goals for today was to continue with one of my assignments but it didn't happen. Just over a month left before the holidays are over and I'm still marinating in my laziness. Where is my life heading? I wish I had a professional sense-slapper standing over me - a good smack over the head every time I think about neglecting my duties would be a nice reminder to get off my backside. It's not quite been ten minutes but I'm off. I need to do my prayers and then maybe do a spot of writing before I go to bed. 22:45 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 15:15 These queries would be something along the lines of: Why you no write? Why you so lazy? Why you can't be bothered sitting to do ten minutes of serious writing a day? Today is my deadline for the novel I started last month and, unfortunately, I have not finished it. In fact, it's a far cry from finished. I tried to focus on not doing edits while writing - which is something I often do - but even so, I did not manage to finish it. Part of it comes from the fact that it doesn't feel...organic. I don't usually get stories ideas like this and then expand on them before writing. It feels weird. Plus, I don't feel I can play around with the ideas because I have to get to what I envisage the climax to be. And I've been lazy. Really lazy. Plus, I'm down at my parents' house every other day (or sometimes several days in a row) and the muse doesn't get in touch that well here. Reception must be bad. Let's just say there's a whole slew of reasons why I didn't finish, although I did want to and had honest aspirations to do it. Most of all, I think I'm just out of the habit of sitting in one place and writing seriously. By the time I've put the little one to bed, sitting still and trying to focus in front of the computer is like asking for a nap. So I find other ways to wake myself up, which is usually by watching k-dramas or reading some manga. And then that takes up my concentration and I don't want to stop. I thought I was over my Netflix addiction but I don't think I am. I'd like to say that I want to stretch out the deadline, maybe for next month, but I've been putting off college assignments for this and I don't want to give myself another reason not to do my work. Maybe after I've finished my assignments. If all else fails, this can be my story for NaNo this year. 15:25 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 22:45 ...So titled because I very rarely have any. Yesterday, I missed out a few items on my daily checklist - my blog, my languages, my writing too. It was a good day but I forgot that when I meet up with my friends, we try to stretch out the get-together for as long as possible since we don't get to meet-up very often. She left just after half twelve at night :D No big deal, right? Between the two of us, we had seven kids and just one of them is above the age of ten. We stayed up watching Pacific Rim, which is long! I should have prepared better - I had the whole morning to sort everything out. I feel the most upset about my languages - I lost my 156+ day streak on Memrise, for my Japanese. All the others had been between 36+ to 56+ days but I managed to get them done before the clock reset at 01:00. Japanese was the main one!  Seeing the streak meter thing reset was depressing. I was a lot less motivated today. On the other hand, maybe I could take this opportunity to stop some of them and lighten the load. Italian is just not in line with the other languages I'm learning, although I do want to learn it. But Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese have a lot of overlap so it's not too bad when you learn them all together. But I need to focus my learning. I shall do better! I was going to start working on my character song here (which I was supposed to have started yesterday) but I'm on my laptop and don't have it at hand so hopefully, will do that tomorrow. I will also provide an update on how my novel - which is supposed to be finished by tomorrow - is doing. Haaaaaaa. What a disaster. 22:55 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
)
