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Welcome to my blog: I intend to share heartfelt writing about anything that comes to mind. |
| I am feeling kind of fickle tonight. One reason is I feel overwhelmed right now. I have so much I need to do and don’t feel like I have the time or energy. I have been trying to figure out some solutions today. I have a couple of things in mind to try to make it better. I want/need to write. Writing is therapeutic for me. It helps me put and keep things in perspective. I am fighting anxiety and depression right now. This does not help the physical issues I am having and the mental /emotional issues are not helping the physical ones. 🤪 I feel extremely exhausted, physically and mentally. I am supposed to write a fake news story for the rising star assignment. I should be able to do it with ease. However, I am overthinking it right now. I thought I would do it on the Rapture. I mean it would be interesting to experience such an event. I am thinking that would make quite a story. On the other hand, I am not sure what I myself think about it. If things are like they were in the days of Noah, only 8 people got on the boat. Will there really be that many people raptured? I could also write it from a perspective of if it happened now. What would it be like if the rapture happened today? How many of us would be ready? Maybe I can write the pretend news story based on current times and events. What would it be like after the Rapture? I almost feel like I would need a sequel document to go with it. There are so many variable opinions of the Rapture and when and if it will occur. This would be like a scriptural and reference resource to the fake news story. Either way, the news story is fake. I want to write with purpose and passion. I want even my fiction to mean something. I want to touch the souls of others with my writing. I guess if I want to go Biblical, I could pick a story that already happened and create a fictional news story about that too. Hmmm! Maybe I will eventually still write something about the rapture too. Thanks for listening. I needed to think this through. I am still not fully decided but this helped. I am thinking of trying to rearrange my normal schedule a bit, and reorganize my food supply and the way I have been doing my shopping. I have got to start eating healthier rather I want to or not. I seriously think I may have a food addiction and need to get counseling for that. I also think I may need more counseling in letting some things go in my past. I keep having dreams about some things that make me feel there are some unresolved issues and I don't know how to process them right now. The dreams are disturbing with reoccurring themes. If I wrote a book on my life up to this point, I don't want to just focus on all the craziness. I know it may help others to know they are not alone, but it is hard to bare all your deep dark secrets. Sometimes we have to make ourselves vulnerable. Other times, it is a choice. If nothing else I could write a book/journal about it here and see where it goes from there. I don't want to whine about all the bad things that have happened to me. Would it help others to know how I have coped, to know my mistakes and bad decisions, and to know how I believe God was with me all along? Maybe. I may try to be good and have cleaned up my act quite a bit, but I am no saint. I am definitely a sinner saved by grace. I have been the hypocrite, the rebel, the foolish, the whore, etc... I have been angry at God and told him so. I have been molested, beaten, abused, near death, and suicidal. I got drunk and high and was promiscuous. I still struggle in the flesh. Maybe it would be therapeutic for me to write about my life. (the good, the bad, and the ugly) On the other hand, it is risky. It is risky to say what I have just said. People fail all the time. We fail ourselves and we fail others. We don't always mean to, but we don't always do what we should do. We hurt others, especially those closest to us. I guess I am feeling a bit cynical too. Tomorrow is already looking like a very busy day. I guess I had better wind down and go to bed. These are just some random thoughts going through my head. |
 Take UP Your Cross Prompt: Tell about a time you’ve been hurt and how God has brought you towards forgiveness. Answer: This is going to shed some light on my response to the 30 day blogging challenge question below. Yesterday, I wrote a letter to an ex-boyfriend/fiance. See the 30 day blogging challenge answer for yesterday. Well, right after this relationship, I got into a “rebound” relationship. The next guy that came along and showed me the attention I wanted, I got into a relationship with him. Big mistake! Don't ever do that. Give yourself time to heal and think straight. They say hindsight is 20-20. I spent 3 years in a relationship with this guy. He only added to my problems. He was controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive, and treated me like a convenience or inconvenience depending on his mood. I lived with him when he felt like it. Otherwise, I I stayed with my parents where I was miserable. Of they added to by making me feel bad for living with a guy outside of marriage. Here is where another of my miscarriages happened. In this case, thank God. Oh I could say a whole lot more about it. Needless to say, it was not a good relationship. I finally got to a point that I felt like I was going to hurt myself or him if I didn't get out. I decided I had had enough. I left him. My best friends mom let me move in with them so I could get away from him and my parents both for awhile and could just breath a little. I so needed that. Anyway, after that for awhile, I refused to be with a man. I had no desire to date them or be around them at all. All men tended to do was hurt me in one way or another. I went through several dark years. Previously, in life, I had been molested and raped. My dad had been physically abusive as well. Men were a source of pain. I would only date women for awhile. My best friend and I even had a serious physical relationship together for a few years. I went to counseling as well during this time. Finally, one day I decided I wanted to investigate religions. I explored different books, documentaries, and webpages about various religious beliefs and practices. In my own personal experience, everything led me back to Jesus Christ. I knew being in a same-sex relationship was a problem with Christianity. But denying the truth was hypocritical. My return to Christ was a gradual one. It certainly was not helped by those condemning me to hell for being in a same sex relationship. I prayed. I decided that no matter what I would give myself Completely to God. No I did not end my relationship right away. It took a couple of years for that. I started out getting in the habit of reading my Bible daily and praying regularly. It was through spending time alone with God that my heart was healed enough that I could begin to date men again and let the same-sex relationship go. It is through spending time with God that I was able to forgive all those hurts in the past. God is continuing to work bringing healing and forgiveness.  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  PROMPT July 21st Your son(daughter) just gave you the surprise of your life when they brought their same-sex significant other home to meet you. What is your reaction? Are you shocked, pleased, in denial? How would you handle this? Read entry above first. Wow! Well this could be a touchy subject. Lol Sometimes it is good to discuss controversial subjects if we can all be mature enough to handle it and not be offended every time someone says something you don’t like or agree with. Some people would fly off the handle at just the thought of it. Having said that, I will ask another question. Is it really any different than if your son or daughter said they were going to be a parent outside of marriage? I especially ask this of my other Christian friends. What if they came home drunk or high? Would it be any different? Would you love them any less? Would you disown them like some parents I know would? Would you lock them in a room and throw a bunch of Bibles at them? (This literally happened to someone I knew when they told their family they were bisexual.) This is something to truly think about and consider. What would Jesus do? I think it would be good to sit down and have a conversation about what your beliefs are, why you believe that way, and how everyone feels about it. I think it should be done calmly and lovingly. Try not to point fingers. Find out if there is a peaceful compromise or solution to any issues. Too many times, they are shunned, disowned, and belittled. Too many times they are committing suicide because they feel so bad about themselves, unloved, and rejected. I have heard too many stories and seen things too many times that were responses less than Christlike. Ok? You consider yourself a Christian? What are the other church members going to think, right? I say to that, Who cares what other people think? This is your child, your own flesh and blood. You think they are going to Hell because of this. Do you seriously think that you rejecting them and putting them down is going to keep their soul out of Hell? If anything, it will send them there quicker. This isn’t going to go away just because you don't like it. Drive your kids away or try to love them and be there for them no matter what. That's your choices, like it or not. Tell them you do not approve of their choices. That's fine. Tell them you disagree with them and you cannot in good conscience agree or enable that activity/decision. Don't disown or abandon them. They need you more now than ever. Who knows, you may have an opportunity to be a light in their darkness or their same-sex partners darkness. What actions will show them God's love? Remember, it was when we were yet in our sin that Christ died for every one of us. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Current study: "Fruits of the Spirit - Peace"  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Are you in the need for prayer? Let us know here and we will pray for you.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This is the link to the group I do these Scripture writings with on Facebook if anyone else is interested in doing so also. https://www.facebook.com/groups/dailyscripturewritingplan/?ref=share Scripture writing - Psalms 119:45-48 Scripture: 45 And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts. 46 I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed. 47 And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved. 48 My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes. Observations: Verse 45 - I seek God's laws and still find freedom in him. Verse 46- I am not ashamed to speak of your testimonies in front of anyone. Verse 47- I love God's commandments and am delighted in them. Verse 48- I will meditate and think about God's laws and commandments. I will lift my hands and rejoice in them. Application: God's yoke is easy and his burden is light. It is a delight to follow his will and obey his commands. He is so worthy of praise. Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I love you. Thank you for loving me. I love to read your word. It has come to mean so much to me. You are worthy of all my praise. In christ’s name, Amen ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gratitude List 1. Friends 2. Family 3. Healing 4. Coffee 5. Cool breezes 6. Beauty of the earth 7. The sky in the mornings 8. Rain drops on 🌹 roses 9. Flowers blooming 10. Birds singing ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Prompt: Use these words in your Blog entry today: success, fulfillment, growth, achievement. Do you reach fulfillment through growth? Success is considered an achievement. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Today cruising through a corner of galactic space on a shuttle run, I encounter a star named Jordan Richelle (71) who writes an article to his wife Mitzi. It touched my heart because my sister's nickname was "Mitzy." She died of SIDS in 1974. So I'm honoring both Mitzy and Mitzi today. Write about love. It seems like a lot of these blog prompts are going together today. Love is a theme it seems. In reality, nothing beats God's love. When you are anchored in his love, everything else will fall into place. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Day 3172: July 21, 2021 Prompt: Write a tribute to someone special in your life? I have done a lot of writing today it seems. My best friend's mom was very special to me. She filled in the gaps for me where my mother lacked. My mother was jealous of her too. I have written about her somewhere previously. It must have been a little while back. She helped me get out of the relationship I mentioned for my entry for take up your cross. She helped me in so many ways. In return, I was able to take care of her when she was sick with lung cancer. I was there even on the day she died. I will never forget her.
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