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A place to keep my entries for various contests and challenges |
| This book is not only a place to create, keep, and store contest entries, it's also a log of items that may one day become something more. |
For "Andre's Fractured Resolutions Blog-O-Thon!"  , prompt: I resolve to restore my writing habit of at least 300 words/day. What does Andre or your Muse think about that?My muse showed up today; Halo's been missing since Andre's party. "Where you been?" "The bar! While chatting with Andre, he gave me some banana rum. I remember things getting fuzzy, then I'm waking up in the cellar with a tin cup; I think I was drinking banana rum out of a barrel! How's things with you?" "I'm thinking about writing again." "Great, but not today. I got a banana fog in my head and need sleep." "No, not today. Actually, I was thinking of a journal, writing at least 300 words a day." Halo laughing hysterically, "Are you going to write one word, copy and paste it 299 times or just write 1 word a day for 300 days? So, a New Year's resolution! What day is it? You've already your resolution! Hey, didn't you resolve no more resolutions?" I explained I had resolved no more resolution and kept it for years. "It's not a New Year Resolution, it's just an idea and it's not funny!" "Look, I know I shouldn't laugh. You mean well and want to write more. But, resolving to write every day is just setting yourself up to fail. Look at how things went last year with so many unexpected things; you got frustrated and stressed about not writing, which only added to the problem. You write for yourself with my help. If something prevents you from writing you'll get worked up, frustrated, and it'll start the cycle over again." She knows me better than I know myself, "Your right, but I really want to write some stories again." "I know. I want you to write, we have a great time when you're writing. Instead of a dissolution, start with something attainable like Andre's blog challenge. Do you remember the story about the mishap with the marshmallows out camping?" "Yeah, everyone enjoyed it." "That would be a great story to write." "Now, I'm eager to get started." "Me too, so don't set yourself up to fail with worthless resolutions. I want it like the old days when we'd share ideas, laugh, and turn out awesome stories." She walked over. I thought to kiss my cheek or give a hug. Instead, she "Gibb" slapped, hard. I heard her say as she left, "300 words, what a moron!" A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Old2New Years Party" The idea is to answer today's questions, but the problem is, I don't remember. Perhaps I just have too much going on and have forgotten who dressed as what, and all the other things. Or, mayhaps I just drank too many brass monkeys! No matter, I thought, I'll just go review some of the posts. Unfortunately, it's late; I have about one hour and fifteen minutes before it's midnight, which doesn't give me a lot of time to run around the bar trying to find posts and read them again. In fact, I'd have to say Andre must have scattered things all over in some kind of drunk-monkey antics because I'm having a time trying to find the posts I'm looking for. So, for this last entry, I guess I just have to wing it and as we used to say in the Air Force, if I can't dazzle em with brilliance, baffle em with bulls***. There was one fellow (I think) who stood out to me. In fact every time I went out for some air, he (I think) was out standing in the same spot. The costume was of Sasquatch (could have been an oversized monkey, and he(I think) was always ready to listen, but never said much. Friendly and such, but no blog entries or anything. Wait, now that I think about it, perhaps it wasn't anyone, but just that big monkey picture on the side of the bar. This explains a lot. I enjoyed all the blog entries (I have tried to read everyone's) and I did comment on some, and liked on all of them. I said liked, not licked; don't look at me that way. As for who's comment I enjoyed on my posts, Wordsmitty ✍️   .I think it would be great to give Andre a large framed picture of everyone having fun at the bar on New Years Eve. Of course, I don't know if anyone took any photos or not, so that may not be possible. Some other ideas would be, a big straw hat, I think he would look adorable wearing it. A monocle would also be nice and give him a distinguished look. I also plan to give him an autographed copy of my fist book if I ever get one written. I would enjoy continuing to blog at Andre's (and do so occasionally even when there isn't anything going on) for the weekly Fractured New Year's Resolutions event and I will be watching my email and the Forum for more details. I would like to say thank you to Andre and the staff (you know who) for this party event. Your hard work is appreciated. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Old2New Years Party" What did you do last night at Midnight WDC time? Here, it's one hour earlier, so it was one hour yet till midnight. I was struggling to stay awake through an episode of "Dragnet". Yeah, a real party people, I know. My wife and I both were very tired but decided to have a drink and try to stay up to greet the new year. We fixed drinks and watched the show, pausing when the clock in the dining room chimed midnight. At that time we wished each other a Happy New Year, did the same for our nephew who is staying with us, who was also still awake, then finished out show and went to bed. Do you have any New Years Day traditions? We get up when the dogs decide we need to, wishing each other Happy New Year. Coffee is started, the two dogs are taken out, then my wife and I sit and enjoy our coffee and talk about any plans for the day. Most of the time there really isn't much going on for us, except for planning out dinner. We have, since we first got together, fixed a nice dinner for New Year's Day. I think this started because we have Christmas dinner with relatives who cannot cook! Other than a nice dinner, we don't spend the day any different than any other non-work day. What's your thoughts on the enormous expansion of holiday lights and light pollution and those lights using electricity made from fossil fuels? First of all, I was unaware that ours, or any, holiday lights expanded. The best I can tell they're still the same size. Other than right now, I hadn't even given much thought. We have, as light strings quit working, replaced ours with LED lights. Even though they are cheaper to use, we have our outside lights on a timer so they only come on at dusk and turn off with the new day. Our lights on the tree are turned on after it gets dark, and we turn them off before we go to bed. And, we have been doing this since the turn of the century. As for light pollution, we only have three strings of lights outside the house, and the lights on the tree inside. Some of the people around us also put up lights for the holidays, but they don't over do them, so it's pleasing not pollution. How was the fireworks and firecracker noise around you residence last night and was it enjoyable or not? I wasn't aware of any fireworks last night, it was quiet and peaceful in our area. We live in a rural area, so there's not a lot of people around us, and it's cold (18 degrees Fahrenheit last night) this far north, which tends to deter people from spending much time outside shooting off fireworks. There may have been some in the distance, but I wasn't outside after ten (last outing for the dogs) so I didn't hear any. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Old2New Years Party" What is your favorite thing to do at parties: Eat, drink, dance, chat, get wild, watch TV/movies, ... Why yes, that's it! Well, if the foods good I enjoy it and depending on the type of party, drinking (in moderation) is also enjoyable. It's been quite some time since I've been out dancing, but I don't remember (not saying I did or didn't) dancing at a party. Talking and socializing are a must or I won't be long at the party. TV/movies is a bust, I can do that at home and I don't really get wild at parties either. What stories do people tell about you when you went to a party or that you like to tell about yourself at a party? I really can't think of anything, people are usually talking about other people who were dancing on tables or getting wild. I would guess some people may talk about how I tend to be quiet and off to myself more than in the midst of things. At midnight between Dec 31 and Jan 1, how do you normally follow the tradition to "ring out the old and ring in the new" (bells, drums, barking like a dog, firecrackers, fireworks, just quietly watching TV, . . . ? How do your neighbors make noise to celebrate and what's your thoughts on that? I really don't ring in the New Year with lots of noise or anything, although howling like a wolf may be entertaining. As a kid we usually had some kind of noise maker we would blow at midnight. Our tradition for the switch between years is to listen to the countdown and sing in the New Year with Auld Lang Syne; we also have a toast at midnight. No, not a piece of toast, a drink in honor of the end and the beginning of the next. Since we live in the country, there's no one to bother or be bothered by. Have you ever written or read a story about a New Years party? Tell us about it or tell us a story about a fictional New Years Party. Include genre and main characters and summarize what it was about. No, I have never written or read anything about a New Years party. As for telling you a story based on this, I would need time and it would likely ensure I don't finish this entry until next year. I will share an idea, however. I would do a romance story or something pretty hot and steamy with some good humor tossed in. Most likely it would need to be rated 18+. But that's all I'm going to say for now, you'll just have to wait for the book/story... Cheers! A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| For "Andre's Old2New Years Party" Andre's throwing a costume party? I wonder what his costume will be? Me, I'd thought about going as Mrs. Doubtfire, a costume idea I did many years back. I had a borrowed dress that surprisingly fit me that looked like the one in the movie. A friend had a wig, and she also assisted with my make-up. The most difficult part was body hair, and I have plenty (not as much as Andre, but that's neither here nor there). My friends idea was to use Nair Hair Removal Creme, but after two attempts, I still ended up shaving my legs and my chest. We won't talk a out the misery I went through when the hair began to return. There were a few different options for boobs, but I ended up using water balloons to give the needed bounce. For Andre's party, however, I decided to save myself the itch and problems associated with this costume. I want something comfortable to wear, easy to assemble, and something that won't take nearly as long, since I'm late getting ready and don't have a fairy godmother to assist. For this shindig, I'll simply put on a pair of old pair of worn jeans, my cowboy boots, a western style shirt I seldom wear, and my poncho. I'll top it off with my sweat-stained, well worn stetson and my pair of .44 back powder revolvers (unloaded of course). Think of Clint Eastwood in "Lone Plains Drifter", and another plus, I won't have to shave! I'll be drinking bourbon with water and ice; it's my preferred drink and it ties in well with the drifter costume. If this was a pot luck, I'd bring a couple of banana cream pies. I make mine with homemade vanilla pudding; I start with a graham cracker crust lined with sliced bananas, pour the pudding in while it's still hot, and then after it's cooled, garnish the top with another layer of sliced bananas and cover with real whipped cream. Other than desert, I'm not picky, us drifters will eat damned near anything. I could bring my own tin plate if Andre is serving beans, that also would go well with the costume! I like using canned beans, they're just easier. Any kind of white beans, some thick cut bacon, chopped onions, a dash of red pepper flakes, and Ole West Barbecue sauce make an easy but delightful pot of beans. Added content: I missed the most unusual food and drink, so I'm editing it in now. That means the word count is a bit higher than listed... So sue me! Anyway, while I think on the food, I can say the most unusual beverage I had was a Bloody Brain. I'm not sure what's in it, I do know it's has Jägermeister, cream, and I think grenadine. I do know the cream is in first, then the booze, so the cream curdles. The grenadine is drizzled into the snot like shot to give the "blood" to the brains (the Jägermeister and cream curdle looks a lot like a miniature brain in the glass. It goes down like one big snotty glob, it doesn't taste very good, and it looks horrid. The strangest food was a snack served at the same New Years Eve party. One of the guests brought a barbecued dish that actually didn't taste that bad, but toasted or roasted grasshoppers in barbecue sauce isn't something that should be served to people who are drinking "Bloody Brains" if you know what I mean. The Banana Bar is in a small town (real small) near where I live called Ottertail. Yes, that's spelled correctly, Ottertail is in Otter Tail County right next to Otter Tail Lake. Why is it Ottertail for the town? A misspelling when the town was chartered, or so the story goes. Anyway, there's a bar and restaurant called the Wood Shed that serves terrific food, a large selection of beers including some micro-brewery beers, and it has lots of room. It's a quaint, older building that has wonderful atmosphere, and since it's located less than a quarter mile from the Otter Tail County Sheriff, there's seldom any trouble. How does one get there? It depends on where you're coming from! Seriously, punch it in Google Maps; I don't have time to write up a bunch of directions for people driving from other locations, I'll end up missing all the fun at the bar! If anyone needs lodging, there is a nice place in Ottertail not far from the bar. It's by the golf course, so it's pretty fancy and comfortable, but in my opinion, the food wasn't anything worth writing home about and the service was pretty slow. I haven't dined there in over a year, so it may have gotten better. Perhaps it was just something that night, but for what I spent, I didn't feel it was worth a return trip to see if changed; not when The Wood Shed "Invalid Item" is just a hop, skip, and a jump up the road. Speaking of which, is Andre providing a shuttle bus?What? The most interesting place I've ever went to a party? I probably shouldn't say! But, since you asked, I once went to a part while I was in the Air Force that was held, discreetly, at the end of the runway at Ellsworth AFB. A group of us covertly set up a couple of picnic tables and carried in some coolers with snacks and beer after dark. We used a service entrance to gain entry inside the fence, and enjoyed a few hours of drinking before all hell broke lose. The night we picked to party was, unfortunately, the start of a major, joint military operation; we soon had thundering B-52s taking off and landing right over us (I'm talking about ten feet over). Between aircraft landing lights and strobing runway lights, it didn't take long for us to be spotted. Things did not go well after the SPs (Security Police)arrived. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| It's been a while since I wrote in here, and to be honest, I wasn't thinking about writing anything until after I stopped by "Invalid Item" . I thought I'd see how the holiday decorating was coming along, have a Brass Monkey or two, order a basket of deep-fried banana-chips, and chat for a bit. I had just sat down at the bar when Andre lumbered over and jumped up on the stool next to me. "Hey Chimp, what's up?" I asked in a friendly tone. "Been busy decorating and making a batch of banana rum for the holidays while you've been slacking." Andre snapped back, indicating he was behind on his drinking and in a not to pleasant mood. "You know how it is, with all the holiday stuff going on, shopping, and taking Max, my Husky, to the vet. I've just been kind of busy myself." "Too busy to write any blog entries? How long does it take to write a few paragraphs? If you're as busy as you say, you should have plenty to write about. Besides, wasn't it you that asked me about a December challenge?" I just looked down in shame and nodded. Andre watched me, but didn't say anymore, so after a minute, maybe two, I looked at him and admitted my guilt in not writing. "You're right, I should have made time to write a bit here and there. I'll get something written after I have Brass Monkey." He shook his head. "No drinks until you have another blog entry done!" He was pointing at the door. "Just a quick drink and then I'll go write." Andre started to sing, and it went like this... (Baby It's Cold Outside was playing on the Jukebox) Andre- "You really can't stay." Me- "Monkey, it's cold outside." Andre- "You've got to go away." Me- "Monkey, it's cold outside." Andre- "But your blog has been..." Me- "Just thought that I'd drop in." Andre- "Blank each night." Andre- "I'll kick your ass if you don't write!" He laughed, I laughed, he jumped down and looked quite serious at me and pointed again toward the door. I saw the ape-like determination in his eyes and nodded, "Yes, I'll go write an entry." As I walked out the door, I heard him say, "I 'spect I'll see you later; I'll by you a drink if I like your entry." Note to self: Don't call Andre Chimp, not even in good humor. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| The other day I stopped in at "Invalid Item" and had an interesting chat with Andre. I had inquired if he planned (or had the staff plan) an event for December. He wasn't sure but said to watch for something in the Newsfeed if something did pan out. Later, I received a message that reads: If anyone wants to apply for the job of administering a blog fest, applications are available in the bar. There's a slight filing fee that Andre usually waves (not waives). Also, you all should be blogging anyway. I thought about doing just this, but seeing as how often I'm unable to log in and have been challenged for time, I decided it wouldn't work out very well. I know everyone, or many of you are also challenged for time, and hosting a blog challenge takes a lot of work. That's why I decided to stop by the bar and give a big thank you to the staff for hosting the challenges. They're fun and I enjoy them, but how often do we forget to thank everyone who makes the challenges possible? So, in the spirit of Christmas, I think everyone should stop by the bar and post a nice thank you for the challenges we've enjoyed through the year. I also talked to Andre about an idea that came to me the other day after I left. Something to bring in a bigger crowd on Friday or Saturday night, maybe even both. I mentioned my idea to Andre, "Have you ever thought about installing a pole and having some erotic dancers come in?" Andre perked right up and exclaimed, with a mouth full of peanuts that were only half chewed, "That's a terrific idea!" I brushed the wet, half chewed peanut residue from my shirt and cleaned the specks from my glasses while he ran around the bar studying it from different directions. "I think a stage and pole would be great over here." He was jumping up and down in excitement. "I'll set it up for two nights a week, one for female dancers and one for male dancers." He scratched his butt and then wiped his fingers on a curtain. "Maybe even have both one night." He jumped back onto his stool and pounded the bar. "What if, instead of a pole, we put in a full jungle-gym for the dancers?" Before I could answer he jumped down and disappeared, but was soon back on his stool with a photo album in his hand. "I know some performers who may be willing to come dance." He opened the album and began showing, and naming some of them. "Hank is very talented, and Lucinda is a good dancer, and look at her legs, so long and graceful." He slammed the book shut and hopped down, "I have a lot of thinking, planning, and calling to do. Thanks for the idea." I finished my banana-ginger beer and shook my head. I hadn't thought about Andre hiring a bunch of erotic dancing monkeys, but he's the boss! I wonder how this will pan out? Along with a Monkey who has a bar, we have Ninja monkeys, and now, possibly, stripper monkeys! A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| I stopped by "Invalid Item" for a banana margarita this afternoon to see how trashed out the place was after all the November blogging and Andre offered me a chunk (he didn't cut it, he just used his hand and broke a chunk off) of his homemade banana rum cake. I'll say this, it was interesting! He used a cake mix, SpillsFurry Yellow Premium, but instead of water, he uses his banana rum. He also slices up bananas and lines the bottom of the pan. For frosting it's a mashed up mix of bananas, butter, and powdered sugar. It was a bit rich for me, but I appreciated his offering it. He had cleaned the bar up pretty well and was well into decorating for Christmas; he had tinsel hanging from most of his body and a big pile of tangled Christmas lights on the bar that he was working through to find the bad bulb that stopped all the others from working. I asked him, "Do you have any plans for a December or Christmas blogging challenge?" He shook his head in that cute monkey way and said, "I'm not sure, it depends on what the staff comes up with for ideas." He picked at his nose and wiped his finger under the stool he was on, then added, "Do you know where a primate can find a string of yellow, banana shaped Christmas lights?" I shook my head and choked down another bite of cake. "Maybe I should have a fund raiser so I can buy new lights to decorate the place." "That sounds like a grand idea, Andre." "Yeah, I could sell tickets or something and the winner gets a bottle of banana rum, or, if it's ready, a bottle of baquila (Andre's own creation of banana infused tequila)." He reached down and scratched his butt, sniffed his finger and then broke off another chunk of cake and offered it to me. "No thanks, I've had enough." He shrugged and ate the handful of cake, wiped his hand on my pants, and went back to his string of lights. "I'll let you know if we do a challenge or a fundraiser, or if we are just going to have everyone stop in for a Christmas party here at the bar. Watch the Newsfeed and stop in to see what develops." I thanked him again and told him, "I'd love to stick around and have a few more drinks but I have a road trip tomorrow so I better head home." He nodded, but was either very intent on his light project or was already drunk, it's hard to tell. I let myself out. Nice chap that Andre. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| Written for "Invalid Item" , prompt: National Personal Space Day Just getting online for the first time today, so I thought I better get this written first and then go visit the Newsfeed, my Notifications, and if time permits, try to get through my email. It seems like things are just staying very busy and for some reason, I feel like there just aren't as many hours in each day as we are supposed to get. It may be some kind of government conspiracy to keep everyone scrambling; instead of setting the clocks back in Autumn, they may have also increased the speed of the atomic clocks, which is affecting all our electronic clocks. After I finish this post, I may go dig out an old clock that doesn't automatically adjust to the current time and see if we are losing five or ten minutes from every hour. Where did I get such a crazy idea? I was over at "Invalid Item" sipping on a glass of banana beer, which surprisingly isn't that bad. Andre lumbered over and started telling me how he was having a difficult time keeping up with all the bar business (actually he does little and lets the staff run everything) and was finding it difficult to consume his normal amount of liquor every day. He mentioned this conspiracy but didn't have time to finish discussing it because he saw a patron sneaking dried banana chips from his stash.But, this isn't about time, it's about personal space, something I firmly believe in. I do not do crowds well at all and generally feel best when I'm just around a few people, or none at all. So, what better topic than National Personal Space Day? This is important to many people, and there are just some who insist on getting up front and too close. Especially, this time of year when the stores are crowded and everyone seems to think it's enjoyable to step right up and start a conversation. Yesterday, my wife and I had to drive over to the town we bank in to deposit a check and do a bit of shopping. The check wouldn't deposit via the app on our phone because of the position of the watermark, and since we needed to pick up a few things, it seemed like a good day to get things done; I mean, it was early afternoon, around mid-week, and still a safe distance from Christmas. Boy was I wrong. The traffic was heavier than I expected, especially in town. The bank was fine, not a soul in sight, but after we drove to the fleet store, the parking lot was about filled and it was wall-to-wall people inside. I decided to shop anyway, so we grabbed a cart and progressed down the aisles, but it was a challenge to swerve and avoid other shoppers, it was frustrating trying to look at anything because it seemed like whenever we stopped to look, someone would push in and stand in the way. The worst, however, was the number of people who just stepped right up to me (like four to six inches from my face) and started making small talk! (I enjoy "SMALL TALK" here, it's always at a safe distance)I don't know who they are, I am not interested in their pets, children, grandchildren, or where they're planning on spending the holidays. Yes the weather is nice for this time of year, but I already noticed when I stepped out my door, I don't need someone to inform me this isn't normal for our location. Being an introvert this is not only unwelcome, it's criminal! So, in honor of National Back the F%ck Off Personal Space Day, I want to remind everyone, to respect each other's personal space... Thank you for understanding. A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| Written for "Invalid Item" , prompt: Throw Out Your Leftovers Day. Yes, a specific day is set aside to throw out your leftovers; November 29. So, before you head off to bed, throw that nasty, fuzzy, and stinky old food out. Seriously, it's not a double meaning, the day's objective is to convince people to throw out uneaten meals that are decomposing in their refrigerators. But, are we to wait through the year to throw out that nasty, rotten container of some past feast? If it sits for that long, it may develop into some kind of mutant life form and escape into the wild as soon as the fridge door is opened. At the very least, opening the container may reveal several blinking eyes and a smell that would chase away magots. Perhaps the powers that be, who decided these annual days, should reconsider and make it a monthly, if not weekly activity. I know I try and use leftovers up in a day or two, but sometimes they get pushed to the back and sit for a week before being discovered. When that happens, it is instant transportation to the trash. And, on very rare occasions, a container of food hides itself long enough to grow more hair than I have, and or, changes from some recognizable morsel of food into something alien-looking, I toss the whole container. For one I don't want to unleash some kind of mutant life form on the planet, and even more importantly, I don't want to break the airtight seal and release the noxious smell into the house. Anyway, I digress. Today is Throw Out Your Leftovers Day, so if you haven't done so lately, pitch that s***! And, don't wait until November 29, 2024, to clean out your fridge again... A proud member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
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Man, you know nothing about monkey business! Never poke your nose in them.
