This poem was so good and I could identify with your loss. But your faith will keep you strong just knowing that you will see her again!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That as you walk through life you and your neice will see each other again!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
this verse kind of read choppy to me. Maybe if you took out the word just? Especially in that last line. It seems to repeat itself to many times in that verse;
I looked up in the bright blue skies
And just what did I see
I saw a perfect rainbow
That you sent down just for me
Encouragement:
You are an excellent writer and I see good things coming your way! I like how you witness to others through your poetry and it will help others who read it.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The honesty you have put into this poem and the anger surfacing from your inner feelings. I can't say it was enjoyable reading to feel so much anger at another but it is honesty on your part. So I respect that and all in all the poem was quite good!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
Same as above. I kind of added it onto my first thoughts!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
Some capitalization is off and needs correcting.
Encouragement:
With the deep feelings you have and to be able to put them on paper is awesome! You have a way with descriptive phrases that others wish they had. I like how you bring them to the surface and make the person reading your poem become a part of the feelings that you are conveying! Excellent!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I enjoyed the story since it told a little of your growing up years plus a lesson learned.
Plot Thoughts
I liked knowing what thoughts you had over giving of what you had though the preacher should not have broadcasted anything in public like he did. That would be very embarrassing to say the least.
Errors
No errors that I could see!
My Favorite Part
Suggestions
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
The title of this story prompted me to read it. Very unusual! Great idea!
Plot Thoughts
The plot was good and it stated the real differences in the generations plus the added affect of death thrown in.
Errors
No errors that I could find at all.
My Favorite Part
My favorite part happened to be the ending! I loved where they came together in their grief and realized they loved each other even through their differences!
Suggestions
Write another fantastic story on real human issues. Your descriptions were awesome and the whole story flowed smoothly!
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
First Impression:
This story is very sad and reminds me of the adolescent years of some teens. I have never been into any drugs so this acct. was very informative. I do realize that it would have been very easy to drift into that area.
Plot Thoughts
The ones left behind always have questions with no real answers. You just have to go on with your life.
Errors
Some of the spelling needs correcting for instance:
"intension" Is spelled wrong
My Favorite Part
The truthfullness of the article.
Suggestions
None unless listed above.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
My first impression is tha this story is true, sad, but true.
Plot Thoughts
I like how this has a real true to life ending not depicting that the things we go through in this life always end happily. It seems that a lot of stories writtian nowdays always have a happy ending and that is not reality.
Errors
No errors that I saw.
My Favorite Part
The part I liked best is when the son said" I almost became you"
Suggestions
None, this was writtian from the heart.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
I enjoyed this poem because it shows the way we are when we look in the mirror deep inside ourselves and sometimes it's not pleasant. Sometimes we don't like what we see so we smash the image!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
Same as above.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
Really, off hand I see no place for improvements on this piece.
Encouragement:
Keep writing. You have a way with words that delves deep within you!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
This poem is on a good subject if I have it right. Maybe death of a friend? I'm not really sure. There seems to be something missing that I'm not catching.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
Same as above.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think the poem could be more in detail. I like the form and the flow but I feel it could say more.
Encouragement:
You have a flair wih words, maybe more of them is needed, a little deeper. This poem hints of something I just haven't caught it yet. Then I could be just tired. Reading it thru several times it still comes to me that there needs to be more.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I seem to be running across more poems lately that deal with hurt and teasing. I do like the idea that this form of abuse is now being recognized instead of being covered up!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That things said hurt people whether we show it or not.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think you need to do a spell check.
Encouragement:
I can see you have an awesome talent in the style that you write and the feeling you put into your writings but it could be so much better using a spell check. Keep writing and I'll check out your port again!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
This whole poem entranced me as it encompasses everyday what some kids have to deal with just riding a local school bus. I only hope and pray my grandchildren speak up about things like they see happening so later in life they won't look back with regrets for leaving someone alone in tears. It's easier for two to handle pain than for one to deal with it alone. Thats my thoughts anyway.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
I have read of others that either joined in this kind of abuse when younger or been through it alone then later in life had to live with the regrets. It's really not worth it.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
No improvements needed.
Encouragement:
Keep writing about issues that pertain to everyone of us!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
At first according to the title I thought it would just be a regular run of the mill salute to someone's greatest love, but I was in for a surprise! You used different words than others have used and to me that was an original way of writing this! Very good!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That you are in awe of the one you love!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
No improvements needed. I think you did a fantastic job with this!
Encouragement:
Keep up the originality! It's a refreshing change!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I liked the subject of the poem, the abandoned hearts still pulsing with life.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That these are all discard hearts and yours is one of the pile.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think the poem needs to be broke up a little more. It kind of rambles and its hard on the flow of it. Some of the lines appear to not flow as easily as others.
Encouragement:
Your descriptive words are awesome and you have a flair for that! Just keep writing and get the flow of words going a little gentler and you'll have it made.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This poem was very romantic and entertaining! I actualy thought it was very close to Shakespeare! keep up the good work! You do an awesome job writing romantic poems.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** [C;blue}This was a strange story for me actually putting names to pet peeves. What an original idea you have! I think I need to come visit your port and see what other goodies you have tucked away!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This was an interesting piece and very entertaining to say the least. I rather enjoyed the change of pace from other stories I have reviewd.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.25 seconds at 10:35am on May 02, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
What was enjoyable and exceptional:
First Impression:
Plot Thoughts
Errors
Suggestions