It's me again. My words of witty praise dried up and blown away as you continue to prolifically put out tons of work that I find simply awe inspiring.
Suggestions
Great job on this one, no suggestions, have enjoyed reading it.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Yep I am a Christmas nut, I love Christmas. Putting a tree in every room in my house, decorating them all with the help of Lisa my friend. It is truly a special time of year, even if we sometimes forget why. I think you captured it in form and imagery within your words with a good degree of skill and wordsmithing...hmmm
Suggestions
Nope except maybe you could use color on certain letters, making the tree green and the ornaments various colors.
Great writing.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Spooky and interesting write. left me checking the passenger side seat. I must say that I think if your capitalization had been consistent and your punctuation edited youd have a five on your hands.
Suggestions
Actually a great job of writing.
Thanks for sharing
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Stop it...your going to ruin my average! Great job this I love the continuing story line. It's holding my attention very well.
Suggestions
No suggestions here. Great Job.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Ohhh I am scared....a hundred pounds yike! I loved the story unfortunately I could not find a thing to point out that I would change.
Suggestions
Keep writing.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
I do love reading your works. I will only point out some things in general. You have a few problems in here, part caused by the perspective of the work and part because I can't tell when you are writing incorrectly on purpose.
However the word piecrust should I think be pie crust.
Suggestions
Keep writing
hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Move over Homer. Hope you don't mind being teased a little. I love your work and I think this is a mighty fine example of some of your best.
Suggestions
Do you take students?
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
I'm jealous, you write too well. I have read lots and though I rarely read this kind of work you do it so well that I actually enjoy it. How's the book coming Harry? I am still using it on my Christmas list soooo. =)
Suggestions
Great writing how can I make suggestions about it...
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Have I told you lately I Love your work. It holds mirth and sadness in the same hand and smiles through life's eyes making a commentary on humorous and sad facts of life.
Suggestions
This is another great example of your work. I would not say there are any comments I can make.
Thanks for sharing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Nice work on this poem. You have good emotional tug and imagery is well formed. You lack a bit of control over the flow through the meter yet the poem doesn't seem to suffer too greatly for it.
Suggestions
My suggesions would be to be consistent with capitalization, punctuation, and try to even out the meter. It is simplest to just count the syllables.
If I may I will try to show you what I mean.
The First Five Lines
You saved my life,
From the depths of hell,
Quickly before i fell,
You grasped me tight,
Fore i fell forever from sight,
(My comments)
first the counts:
line 1 - 4
line 2 - 5
Line 3 - 6
Line 4 - 4
Line 5 - 8
There seems no rhyme or reason to the flow it is not measured but rather random.
Next is capitalization....my single comment is that "I" is always capitalized and if you didn't to keep from emphasizing it then maybe we ought to seek an alternate
Now lets look see...
You saved my drear life,
From the depths of hell,
Quickly ere I fell,
You grasped my hand tight,
Fore I fell from sight,
Now please note a few things for me. I amnot saying this is better than yours. I am merely suggesting that your poem inspired me to see this within its words. Maybe you would be happy if you took a little time and worked it over one time...before you give it to your love.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
This is a very entertaining story poem. It was well done sorry but it is not a good time for me to do this justice.
Will write you about it later.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Perfection comes in little places, a smile, a look, a kiss, and in your poetry. It flows with the ease of water across my tongue and touches the quiet recesses of my mind with its imagery. It satisfies my soul in its hunger for the words of truth and love.
Yep this poem certainly touched me and deserves a ribbon.
I love it.
Suggestions
Are you kidding - no suggestions
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
My first opportunity to visit your port and I see that you have a poetic gene somewhere in your family. I found this interesting from the standpoint that it appears you have a story that has been cooking in you wanting out.
Can't wait to see what else you have this is well written and requires no fixing that I can see.
Suggestions
Great Job Writing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
As I read your poem little flashes of word combinations flew through my blonde brain...Gee that was painful. Well actually it was exhilerating (spelling) to feel my two brain cells come so close together.
AHem anyway.
An image of Pandora's box flashed through through my mind. So for imagery and flow this poem must indeed work well.
Suggestions
Nope no real suggestions here.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
May I ask what book this was published in? You have all the right words to make this poem leap out of the page and pounce on the mind of unsuspecting readers like a monkey with a banana.
There is something thats missing in my opinion.
Suggestions
My suggestion to improve your poem is to use punctuation. I have now said this so many times that I think somebody is going to slap me to make me stop.
A well placed pause can add a significant amount of impact to the words of the poem.
Great writing
Hugs
Becky
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
As the other winner of the idol contest (in my opinion you were and are both winners) I decided to give you ten reviews also. More for my education than because I want to be nice...
My first impression of this work was set by the title. Sins of the Father. It raised the proverbial hairs at the nape of my neck. Which were quickly calmed when I actually read the work.
Being a Christian I don't think the Bible says a child is responsible for his father's sins. However, in the context you presented this in, it is very true.
On to the work. I am no big fan of free verse because it often leave me scratching my head. You don't have this problem here which to me says you have done a wonderful job of writing.
Suggestions
Technically there are no errors for me to find. About the worst thing I could find was this line:
spoke to his mother, harsh of tone,
My only comment is that it seems a bit choppy. Yet even as I say that I must add that on numorous occasions I have said a well placed pause and break can make a poem truly a reflection of the words the poet had in their heart.
Wonderful writing.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Blame it on the poor cursor will you? I am afraid you made me smile as I read this work. A few years ago I would of applauded and said surely you are right. Now I wonder merely what kind of computer do you have.
A cursor is rarely a blinking blob anymore, but that is just silliness, Lets talk about your poem.
Suggestions
My suggestions for your work lie in two areas, word usage and rhyme schemes. Basically you change rhyme scheme back and forth and this is confusing and breaks the flow of your work.
As for the word usage this line of yours:
The cursor took it to it shrinking
Simply leaves me with this ????
a suggestion for this line might be ...
The cursor took it, slowly shrinking.
Its a cute poem but its needs attention to the details to make it work.
Good writing hope I have't offended you.
Let me know if you change it I would like to see what you end up with.
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
You have built an interesting little world in your portfolio. I wandered around a bit asorbing the creative genius that participated in the design of your works.
HMMMM, do I take a left or right....
Suggestions
Perhaps, you should stop playing dungeons and dragons? Just teasing.
Interesting arrangement.
Thanks for sharing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
This is your official notice you have been noticed! Furthermore you will no longer be allowed to use either sarcasm or whining in your editorial works. Ahem...Satisfied?
Now for the truth....you are asking yourself the same questions we all ask ourselves. SO I will add one to your list. Why do you write? Is it for praise? Self satisfaction? To be noticed? Be honest, and tell me why?
Yes I ask the same questions, then I decided my writing was for me. Sure others can see it and fix the technical errors but its truth and meaning are for me....Wrong!
You see I am a country girl, lucky to know how to spell dinoflagellates. Ahhh but how did I learn? By writing and looking at others works. By finding people whose interests are similar and just plain asking.
My writing since joining this site has improved markedly. Not that I am uneducated and couldn't write, but I now pay attention. I edit and edit again my works.
Suggestions
I have no suggestions for your writing except this...WRITE!
I see you are an active reviewer even though you claim to not know how. Sometimes even being blonde and from the country I find things others miss. You must too. Of course we never forget to tell the author how much we enjoyed his work.
And I did enjoy reading your work.
Thanks for sharing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Nothing like a cliff hanger! What you have written is rather like a balloon a shell of something filled with a lot of something. I guess what I am trying to say is you don't really explain what this is. You may want to spend some time and do the prologue for us to read so we can get the flavor of your project.
What you have written seems well enough written but it is simply not enough to judge where your going.
Suggestions
My suggestion write some more.....PLEASE
thanks for sharing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
I could cry, the truth is your words are all too true. There are predators in this world. They are just like Satan going to and fro as a lion seeking whom he may devour. I wish it were a perfect world but it isn't, yet for all of its imperfections it is possible your child will find someplace such as this.
This site even with its imperfections rates a ten in my book. Yes even in here it is possible to become a victim.
Any chance you have a solution?
I liked this work for its realism.
Suggestions
Do you know some safe sites for kids? Wouldn't it good to have a listing somewhere of sites you know are well monitored.
I thought TWAU was one where a kid could go and enjoy the web at its finest. Just as I think this site is one of the finest>
Great writing
Hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
I am not sure but I don't think I have ever had the pleasure of reviewing you. I love your name by the way I often wished I was a Marilyn but it turns out Becky is a fine name.
I must say your article is well written, yet I think there is something to be added to what you said. It comes straight from the Bible yet I am sure I will make a mess trying to make the point.
Men and women are totally different and yet alike. At least in how they relate to God. I was in Bible class when the question was asked about what our relationship should be with God.
My answer reflects a few things about me as a woman and as a Christian. There is a verse in the Bible that describes a woman's relationship with her husband. It says that she will desire him above all else. To me this means she thinks of little else. I whileheartedly agree with you that marriage blends the colors, the only thing I would say differently is that the colors are more blended than they are separated in a good marriage.
I of course am a blonde ditz but I believe that one day soon I shall meet the man that my heart shall desire above all else. WIll he be tall dark and handsome? Who cares because for me he will be all I need.
Now for the lesson, thats what God expects of us within our relationship with Him. He expects us to lose ourself in Him. Just as a wife can lose herself in her husband SAFELY if their love is true. God expects us to desire Him above all else. I say this because He describes the church as the Bride of Christ.
Yes Ma'am I agree the colors are blended, so much so they can never be separated. Just as our marriages, our relationships with Christ can never be removed from our souls.
Suggestions
No suggestions well done.
sorry for rambling
hugs
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
Snuck up on ya... I have never been to Alaska but know those who have and I would say you have captured it perfectly in the words of this poem. I am afraid I could get lost in your portfolio (it is huge) so um if you get a lot of reviews its because i couldn't find my way out!
Suggestions
LETS GO!!!!
Hugs n Love
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Writing
A blur of fantasy and reality
Using words with natural frugality,
There creating some new abnormality
Or discovering a commonality.
Putting each sentence to a rigorous test,
Until eyes like blinking neon signs attest
An author we acknowledge has done her best;
This is creative writing at its finest.
I swear you have a magic lamp or something, you turn these out so fast and so well written it is amazing. This poem is no different in its clear and poetic message. I love to read your works and though I may wish I was good enough to add to it with a suggestion...=)
Funny - here is this tiny little poem that doesn't delve very deeply into the subject it is written on and I am having trouble just rating it and leaving. I think you have something pertinent to say a truism that I would like to play with a bit with your permission.
Suggestions
First Stanza In times of war
People deplore
Things that are being done
Rather than just leave this so open ended would it not be more effective if we closed in on a specific "thing"?
In times of war
People deplore
Horrors of their Sons
Second Stanza In times of peace
All fighting has ceased
But no one's really won.
There is a problem with weak rhyme here which to me seems easily corrected.
In times of peace
Let fighting cease,
Who has really won.
Not sure my effort actually helped but I think you have a poem that captured me long enough to make me back up and look again.
Thanks for sharing
Hugs
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~~ 
First Impressions 
Hope you don't mind being teased a little. I love your work and I think this is a mighty fine example of some of your best.