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368 Public Reviews Given
581 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of I Am Your Moon  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent poem! I think the word in the Bible express this so well and you made a natural extension of the words.

God made the sun and the moon, the Sun to be the greater, and the moon to be the lesser vessel. A reflection of the glory of the sun.

Easily transferred to two souls dancing in their onwn orbit, the one brightly shining and the second reflecting the beauty of the first.

Each a joy for the other.

Yes this is a great poem.

Hugs

Becky
102
102
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Harry,

Once again I get to see why you must be considered a poet amongst poets with the skills you put on display here every time I find something you have written I am about to run out of platitudes to describe the amazement you generate with your work.

Whats the secret do you have a computer that writes them for you?

I am just teasing of course about the software not about your abilities.

Hugs

Becky
103
103
Review of Lost in you  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Jessie

I was just checking the plug page and thought I would have a look at your item. I think you did a good job with everything except you need to break the dialogue out a little. ALso if it weren't really spoken, if it were thought, it would be nice to italicize the text.

Thanks for the interesting write

Hugs

Becky
104
104
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

Been a long time since I have read anything of yours. I saw this and could not help myself. It is one of my lifelong hates. Abuse no matter what form has no excuse and I for one say amen to your poetry. It is as well written as I would expect from you.

Great Job

Becky
105
105
Review of Touched By Love  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,

I love poetry, it is both expressive and within a few small lines you can write a book. That is what you have done here. You have written the story of a couple in love. Yet as poetry goes it has a few problems. Just like anything I write.

As I said I write poetry and when I find one that inspires me even though I see problems I love to tinker. I shall do so now, hopefully fixing some of the problems I found and creating with your help something you can see a new path with. SO here goes.

This is your poem...

Touched By Love


It's surprising how wonderful the world seems,
After a night spent in your arms,
Not so illusive now my inmost dreams,
For I'm under the spell of your charms.

Through rosy-tinted glasses everything I see,
Sun shines behind each drop of rain,
Even the greyest sky looks blue to me,
My heart feels so light and free from pain.

Dark angry storms of life, they just fade away,
Depression clouds clear from my mind,
It's like a healing hand has touched my day,
I feel caring and gentle and kind.

Then once again it's time for you to be with me
Heaven is there for me to touch,
Waves of emotion build just like the sea,
The wonder that I can feel so much.

After all the years that I've been loving you
Your loving smile can make or break my day,
Not young lovers now, but it's so very true,
Those eyes of yours still melt my heart away.

Now before I start let me point out a few things, first you had a couple of typos that detracted from the work, umm, if you look carefully you will probably find a couple in this review. Also your rhyme seemed okay but the meter was not which also affects the flow.

Here is a revision

Touched By Love


How wonderful the world seems,
After a night spent in your arms.
I attain now innermost dreams,
Here in the spell of your charms.

Through rose-tinted glasses I see,
Sunshine behind each drop of rain.
The greyest sky looks blue to me,
I feel so light and free from pain.

Dark storms of life, just fade away,
Depression clouds clear from my mind,
A healing hand touched my day,
I feel caring, gentle, and kind.

It's time for you to be with me,
Heaven is here for me to touch.
Emotion waves build like the sea,
I wonder that I can feel so much.

After the years of loving you,
Your smile can make or break my day.
Not young love now, but it's very true,
Your eyes still melt my heart away.

OKAY! Now a word from the management. Your poem was very personal and I think written for one person. WHat I attempted to do was write it for all.

Finally let me emphasize, you inspired me to work with your poem and if in doing so I have offended you I beg your forgiveness. I think you wrote a great poem with a few rough edges.

Hugs and love

Becky
106
106
Review of Benjamin  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi,

You have a cute story here, wonderfully engaging and definitely fit meat for children. The biggest problem I see is the whole work needs a good edit. There are a number of spacing problems, troubled wording in sentences, and a few spelling goofs.

Should you attempt an edit I may possibly be willing to assist if you wish.

It is a very good story and deserves the attention.

Hugs

Becky
107
107
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Your wife is one very lucky lady, not just because you love her, but because you have no fear of expressing it. To be honest I thought the frist twolines didnt mesh very well but there on down you did a truly wonderful job. Thanks for sharing of your self.

Hugs

Becky
108
108
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Harry,

How wonderfully sweet and loving of you. I was puzzled by the lack of capitalization that is not like you. Yet I think the reason became more obvious as I read the poem. I wonder if maybe you should not of capitalized Darling?

Truly a pleasure to read and I hope I get to read you for a long time.

PS The book is a lot of fun.

Now a message from the blonde to all who read this...GO BUY HARRY's BOOK!

Hugs

Becky
109
109
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
HI Harry,

This was cute and surely had a good point to it. It is but another example of the wonders you work with that great imagination and words...lots of words of all kinds. Tis all good.

I thought the last line in particular a tad rough around the edges tripped over the combination of words.

Still it is great writing.

Hugs

Becky
110
110
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Loved your poem full of emotion and love for your family, why you say you can't write poetry is a mystery to me. Seems you do alright to me.

At worst a couple of weak rhymes maybe? Other than that great imagery, great use of the space by saving the point till the end.

Very nicely done.

Hugs

Becky
111
111
Review of Wind Spirit  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

WHat a hauntingly beautiful trip for the soulf to take. I loved the imagery you produced with your words. As I read them I was transported to another place. I think it flowed very naturally, though at times I could discern a rhyme at others could not.

In any case it is great writing.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Becky
112
112
Review of Snatches of Joy  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,

I love poetry, whether I understand it or not. As I read your poem here I thought how wonderful. I also thought how odd. Something just seems off.

Then I realized your punctuation is very sparse, perhaps it would be better if there were a comma after each of you "joys". Then you have not capitalized, though I can not criticize as I am not poet.

Anyway it suddenly dawned on me, the poem would come together beautifully like this:

These snatches of joy;
A flighty caress,
A quick kiss goodbye,
A bird calling,
A starry night,
A train arriving,
A lovers walk,
Rain drop sting,
As it all implodes within
These snatches of joy
Come and go.

Well at least it made a better flow to me. Please don't be offended by my play and keep writing your heart and soul.

There is beauty there.

Hugs

Becky
113
113
Review of On a shelf  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great writing,

It took me a few minutes to adjust and figure out where you were going. Once I got there I said AMEN!
You have a style of writing which is very strong. One suggestion though

where you said things would slot into place...it interesting, but it doesn't fit or make sense to me.

Great writing,

Hugs

Becky
114
114
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Harry,

As is the case when I find a great writer it is hard to get enough. Now is no exception you are an amzazing poet, one I wish gave lessons.

Great writing hope I get to read your book soon. Its making the second leg of the journey now.

Hugs

Becky
115
115
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ut oh, she's back...

Hi Harry,

I do not know how you acheive the sheer quantity of poetry you seem to produce. Have you been saving them for years? Would your wife tell us of you original roses are red.... poem?

Yet, no matter how many I see each is its own little life, heart beating away, invitingly suggesting I sit down and read it.

I think that tells you what I think of your writing which ummm includes this poem.

Great writing,

Becky
116
116
Review of Zealots  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi again,

Its that blonde who sometimes loses her mind and can't find the beginning of a poem for looking at the end.

Okay introductions over. You are indeed a poet and a mighty good-un from what I can see. Is this work you have written true the feelings I have about the people who wish only to hurt others.

I think we ought to bore them into submission with another of my stories...*Smile*

Honest Harry, great writing and good point.

Hugs

Becky
117
117
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

What a perfectly beautiful poem. A couple of years ago a friend who was interested in me wrote to me and said almost the exact words you used, but he told it in a story. The end of the story was love is what the wind carries from my lips around the world to your ears. As it playfully tickles you with errant locks, it whispers to you of the words that I spoke this morning while thinking of you.

He elaborated on this theme where the sun became his kisses on my cheek and the rain were his tears when he had not been all he should be to me.

It was very romantic...as is your wonderful poem.

I do have one question though,

Why is winters capitalized?

Love is Winters spent with them

Great writing, very touching.

Hugs

Becky
118
118
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

You have a wonderful work here. Not only are you a cat lover but you used a double acrostic...Wow! Though there was a weak point in the work it was far outweighed by the natural flow you created.

I too love cates and my Spider was one of a kind.

Hugs

Great writing.

Becky
119
119
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What a laugh, I have not laughed this hard in quite some time, add to that the fact that so many people participated in the writing and you have one exceptionally inventive and varying write.

There are a few miscellaneous errors such as this one:

Etherl Merman

which do keep it from being an entirely perfect example of a bunch of people getting together and getting silly.

Hugs

Becky
120
120
Review of Jus Knowing  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,

I would love to do a full edit on this work, because it does make a great point that many of your peers could benefit from. If youd like help to work on this one let me know I would gladly devote a little time to it.

Your point is so pertinent that it over-shadows the fact you have several mistakes within your writing. ANOTHER WORDS you have a great point and with a little polish will have a great (essay?).

Keep up the great writing.

Hugs

Becky
121
121
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi,

You may wonder why I gave this a 4.5 when I will sing nothing but praise of it. I am sure that a lot of what you put in this story is fairly accurate. Yet while the story follows the Bible very closely it does deviate somewhat.

It is a minor thing and literally I should probably ignore it.

You have technical skills that are barely believable - are you sure you dont have a built in grammar checker in your head?

Great job - well told - please forgive the half a point.

Hugs

Becky
122
122
Review of October's Lie  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

This is the second time I have read this. Both times I cried for the loss and for the joy. The sadness you capture in this work is amazing. The scene seems plenty real.

I found this one of the better examples of your dialogue skills. I loved the ending it was a conquering of the spirit.


Ever since I saw Octobers name I have been intrigued with its origins. Though I realize this is not the real origin it is very plausible.

In any case you have done a great job of capturing a multiplicity of feelings and wrapping them into one good story.

Hugs

Becky
123
123
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

Your form is perfect, as you offer observation, yet there is a tone to your work that does not invite family. You aptly depict a father distracted yet your form does not give him room to become INVOLVED with his family.

He is merely an observer standing outside looking in. Could be I have no idea what I am talking about but for me your poem lacks emotion.

Yet this is not so much about my likes or dislikes as it is about skill and certainly you have combined words to become something other than nonsense.

BLS
124
124
Review of Fear  
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Flip (with an attitude),*Smile*

An interesting poem you have here. I will start and end with good things to say but in the middle I will put my fears....

First You have a poem that should span generations with its subject matter. It is written fairly smoothly with no apparent forced ryhmes. So thats all good and you may ask what do I think is not so good.

I gaze upon my son and there I find
That he has brought him back to me anew.

In this verse there is an awful lot of pronouns. Not that pronouns are bad - they aren't but too much of a good thing....

Here would be my suggestion if we say your son's name is sam.

I gaze upon my son and there I find
That Sam has brought him back to me anew.

Just a suggestion.

It will help unchoke a bottleneck and earn you higher scores.

Now in closing for my one example...

You do have a great subject for a poem and have the skills to write a great one. So, with your permission I will read some more and see gjust how great you become.

Hugs

Becky
125
125
Review by Becky Simpson
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Okay,

An interesting read, It smacks of science fiction yet has at its center a relationship that is in need of mending.

The use of strange creatures with almost supernatural powers hides to a certain extent the real intent of the story.

While sci fi readers don't necessarily go for relationships in the venue they will find they have not been cheated with the fast paced story. You "deliver the goods" if I can use a cliche, and wrap up the science part with plausible and interesting facts.

I guess what I am saying is as a sci fi enthusiast but more importantly from the relationsip end.

You have done an amazing job.

Hugs

Becky
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