T.L.Lancaster, your item here # 2050082 entitled: The Brave and Mighty Mr. Snuggles is a well written and thought out childrens story. With strong well defined characters and storyline it would be a must read for any child who has had troubles sleeping at night. For an excellant job I am awarding you five stars. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Julymfox, your item here # 2050153 entitled: The Tragedy Of A Zombie is a well written poem. It has a good little storyline that flows along with well, chosen words. I am Awarding you four and a half stars for a job nicely done. Keep exploring your talent, but most of all, Keep On Writing! Jeff
Philip, your item here # 2050302 entitled: Deus Ex Machina is an interesting little piece of work. Nice idea of a storyline and interesting character. My only concern is the grammer mistakes. They need to be watched a little more closely. Otherwise it is very good and I am awarding you four stars.Keep exploring your talent and Keep On Writing! Jeff
Sharon, your item here # 1262046 entitled: Quick Draw Woody brought a smile to my face. I remember the good old days myself with buddies target practicing. Luckily we did no quick draws. This piece is well written with flowing storyline. Good job. I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep exploring your talent and most of all, Keep On Writing! Jeff
Walker, your item here # 2049793 entitled: The Visit is a well written piece. Strong character and storyline takes me back to the days of my youth. Your story flows and takes the reader along. Well done. I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep exploring your talent, but most of all, Keep On Writing!
Strange tale Tim. Not bad strange, just good strange. I have realized so far, that you do not like to put paragraphs where they should belong. That would make it easier for the reader to read your work. Never the less it was good and you get four stars. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Tim, your item here # 1898560 entitled: Acorns To Bridges. This is a well written piece on a man's inner thoughts on whether to kill himself or not. The main character is strong, as is the storyline. You grab the attention of the reader and bring them along until the end. Good flow. Nice twist at the end. I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep On Writing! Jeff.
Tim, your item # 2048093 entitled: The Tight Rope is an interesting point of view. Punction and grammer aside, this is a well written item. The only thing I could see to improve this would to maybe have the man or woman talk a little bit more about their feelings being up in the air. Make it more personal. I am awarding you four stars. Keep exploring your talent and most of all, Keep On Writing! Jeff
Richard, your item here # 2048118 entitled: Moonface Mire-Chapter 1. My over all impression is this is a good start you have here. Punction and grammer aside, it needs some rewriting.
Example: At every climb the truck backfired like a shotgun; the rusted tool box, tethered by a weathered worn bungee cord slid back and forth in the paint-scrapped bed. She kicked the empty oil bottles at her feet: the ruined upholstery with cushion exposed and falling out and the litter of the dead wasps on the dashboard made her shift uncomfortable in her seat.
How does this sound?: At every climb the truck backfired like a shotgun. The rusted tool box held in place by a weathered strap, slide on the paint scrapped bed. She kicked the trash at her feet; the ruined upholstery and the dead wasps on the dashboard made her uncomfortable in her seat.
Just a more condensed version that sounds the same. It's the little things that make it more enjoyable for the reader to read. I noticed a lot of that going on here. Give it some thought. Drop me a line if I can be of more help. I am awarding you four and a half stars for a well done start. Keep exploring your talent. But, most of all, Keep On Writing! Jeff
Fifthwood, your item here # 2047896 entitled: Transgression is in Session is an interesting start. With strong well defined characters and storyline. Hope you have plans to finish this. What lays behind chamber two? You leave the reader wanting more. Well done and for that I am awarding you four and a half stars.Are the walls a lighter shade of the black stone floor? Keep exploring your talent, But, most of all. Keep On Writing! Jeff
I have read all of these stories. Although not very scary to be considered Horror. They are indeed all well written with strong well defined characters and storylines. Five stars across the board. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Ricky, your item here # 1705800 entitled: The Morning After is a well written piece of writing. Strong characters and plotline carry the reader out of the Saloon and down the street to the gunbattle. Well done. Nice twist there at the end having Candy's ghost join in. I am awarding you with four and a half stars.Keep exploring your talent and most of all. Keep On Writing! Jeff.
Harry, this item # 1599041 entitled: An Old Copper Bell is a well written piece. With strong well defined characters and storyline you grab the reader and take them along on the interesting story of a Bell. Well Done. From one person to the next you give great descriptions of the travels. I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep exploring your talent and most of all. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Shame and fortune, your item here # 1830146 entitled: Dark Pagan Eyes is a well written piece. With strong well defined characters and storyline you hook your readers and take them along for an interesting ride. Well done! I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep exploring your talent, but most of all. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Leif, your item here # 1857913 entitled: Boyd and Ives is a well written story of an interesting kind. I have not read many stories of cannibalism. This piece has strong well defined characters and storyline. My overall opinion of this piece is it is a well thought out story. Keep exploring your talent. I am awarding you four and a half stars. Keep On Writing! Jeff
C.J. chapter two carries on just as strong and wonderful as chapter one. The images you project of Vivian and Jonathon. Their desire as husband and wife is just as normal and real as my wife and myself. Great job. Adding the speach pattern of the Aussie is a good touch. Another five star rating. Keep On Writing! Jeff
C.J Ellisson, your item here # 1536353 entiteld: Vampire Vacation- Chapter one is a well written story of vampires with a new twist. My over all opinion is this is a fantastic storyline. It is strong with well defined characters. I can picture Rafe and Dria as the hosts of a hotel out in the middle of no where. At the end of the first chapter I am wondering who killed John Pierre Vaughn. Punctuation and grammer are excellant here. I could find nothing wrong. So, I am awarding you with a five star rating. Will read on for sure. Keep exploring your talent and Keep On Writing! Jeff
ZombeeLuv, your item here # 2032447 entitled: Alice IN Zombieland is a unique twist on a beloved fable. Nicely done. With strong well defined characters and storyline you keep the reader wnating more and more. You stayed within the theme of the original story,but added your own make on it. I am awarding you five stars for an excellant job. Keep exploring your talent and most of all, Keep On Writing! jeff
Wisegirl, your item here # 2047944 entitled:Sunset Of The Dead is an entertaining tid bit of hopefully a much larger work. Keep exploring your talent. I am awarding you four stars. Keep On Writing! Jeff
Arash Maleki, your item here # 2048014 entitled: The Referee is a well written story. Strong characters and storyline. My only concern is the rating you gave. With the swearing it can be rated for everyone. It should have at least a 13 plus. Otherwise it is a good piece and I am awarding you a four star rating. Keep exploring your talent, but most of all. Keep On Writing! Jeff
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