Review of Chapter 1.
Style: Overall presentation of the story, the authors voice, and development: The authors voice is justifiable here, but needs work making the reader understand what their supposed to be reading. More on this later. The story seems to be developing well, giving the reader info about people, and why they are where their at. The presentation is quite rocky though. Neatness helps in a big way. Without adjusted paragraphing, it makes it very hard on the reader to keep reading, and also be able to pick out scene changes, or character changes. More on paragraph adjusting below  also.
Content: Theme, plot, and dialogue: Theme is about a shapeshifter,human, and what they do for a living. No plot yet. Dialogue needs work. More on this below in the suggestion area.
   
Your Characters/ Storyline / Story Scenes: So far, the characters are visable and believable.  I can visualize most scene changes and the story line.
The Basics: Spelling, grammar, paragraph structure, and punctuation: This here story still needs some editing and a few kinks worked out. There are many spelling, grammar, and punctuation issues residing in here, and paragraphing needs to be adjusted. I have given some helpful ideas on a little of each of these below, in the suggestion area. There is too many to point out in one shot. But maybe it will give you an idea what to look for.
 
Suggestions/Ideas:
I stood in the one dark corner on the street and took a long drag from my cigarette. I stood and watched as I saw green, purple, slimy, shiny, and scary, things and people pass me. Quick glances like knives, “Haven’t you ever seen a shifter before?” I mumbled under my breath.
Now have a look at it, altered just a bit, with grammar and spelling changes.
I stood in the one dark corner of the street and took a long drag from my cigarette. As I stood and watched, I saw green, purple, slimy, shiny, and scary, things aas people passed me. Quick glances like knives, “Haven’t you ever seen a shifter before?” I mumbled under my breath.
I’m Felicity Black, shape shifter, part time bounty hunter, and full time freak, and sometimes not the nicest of people.
A mother with green hair, and purple skin risked a glance at me. Her eyes were black almost as weird as mine(,) > (.) almost. <- unneeded word
She stopped dead in her tracks. She hesitantly dragged her eyes up to meet mine.
She stopped dead in her tracks and hesitantly dragged her eyes up to meet mine.
6’2 which is enough to intimidate anyone (including dates). All 6 feet and 2 inches of me, covered chin to toe with my black trench coat, big bad combat boots covered my feet (and added another inch). Get rid of the ( )'s. Their not needed and kind of get in the way. Also maybe by breaking down this last sentence to two seperate sentences. They don't seem to sound right together like that. Try this;
6’2 which is enough to intimidate anyone, including dates. All 6 feet and 2 inches of me, covered chin to toe with my black trench coat. Big bad combat boots covered my feet which added another inch.
or you can try this way:
6’2 which is enough to intimidate anyone, including dates. All 6 feet and 2 inches of me, covered chin to toe with my black trench coat, and big bad combat boots that covered my feet and added another inch.
I glanced at my watch, where is Vince? I “work” for “Johnn private eyes”.
Ok, I see we have some dialogue now. But unless you speak as though you were on a cell phone, and it cuts out every other word, we need to adjust the quotations here a bit. 
Try this:
I glanced at my watch, "Where is Vince? I work for Johnn's Private Eyes”. <-- Johnn's Private Eyes should be capitalized. It's the name of a company.
ok, now lets work on paragraphing.
Johnny was now in “business” <-- Get rid of the quotations here. It's not needed and it's not part of dialogue. form, which for him seemed to be a wanna be mafia boss. Black slicked back Dracula hair, black Versace suite, and the most blinding black shoes; it hurt to look at him, and not only because of the shoes.
“Hello Felicity, how are you?” he asked hesitantly.
“Who do I have to hunt down?” I don’t like small talk it takes too long and is a waste of valuable and expensive time.
“Well, you know Felicity, I would love to sit and chit chat, but I really have to get to business,” he sneered sarcastically. “And besides you don’t mean person, you mean thing!”
I was going to take my newly lit cigarette and shove it into Vince’s eye. “Johnny,” I managed through clinched teeth, “You know I don’t find THINGS, I find people!”
Now break it all down into seperate paragraphs and/or captions.
Johnny was now in business form, which for him seemed to be a wanna be mafia boss. Black slicked back Dracula hair, black Versace suite, and the most blinding black shoes; it hurt to look at him, and not only because of the shoes.
“Hello Felicity, how are you?” he asked hesitantly.
“Who do I have to hunt down?” I don’t like small talk it takes too long and is a waste of valuable and expensive time.
“Well, you know Felicity, I would love to sit and chit chat, but I really have to get to business,” he sneered sarcastically. “And besides you don’t mean person, you mean thing!”
I was going to take my newly lit cigarette and shove it into Vince’s eye. “Johnny,” I managed through clinched teeth, “You know I don’t find THINGS, I find people!”
Breaking down the paragraphs,  makes it easier to read, understand, and adjust to changing scenery.
Overall Comments: This story has BIG potential, provided you're willing to give it a good work out. There is a story here, and with a little effort, and elbow greese, I think it could turn out to be very good. So far, I like how it's going and where it's going. The characters are interesting, and so is the line of work they are in. Don't give up!! Keep with it!! I will be checking on the next two chapters, and see what we find there.
I hope this helps, and I have gone in the direction you asked. Keep writing, and thank you for sharing it.
Best wishes,
Terrie
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