I found this in the short story Newsletter. I thoroughly enjoyed reliving that night with you. And I thought your commentary along the the way was good also. It's amazing that we made it through those times. But most of us did.
I'm a guy, so Lennon was my favorite Beatle, but Paul still rocks. Nice Job!
This is a clever concept, amigo. That seems to be your forte. I really enjoyed April and her reserved humor. You pitched her long-suffering character--all the months dealing with her nemesis-- just enough to make the payoff/ending an exciting surprise. Nice!
If you get time, here's my entry:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1418700 by Not Available.
Mike Midas said just enough to wet my whistle in "Wicked Thoughts". I would like to see this character some more. I really enjoyed Moike's experience with The Holy Ghost. (I'll have to read "Size Matters.")
Your comic relief is very clever. I know this is only a slice, but I felt a liitle John Irving coming through.
I found this in the Action/Adventure Newsletter--and I can see why. It's packed full of action and adventure from beginning to end. The way you kept up the intensity, while doling out the information, was top-notch.
Having the younger brother be the narrator worked to great effect, especially since he had an older brother to take orders from the father. The uncle's character was believable and fit it great. This is one fine piece of work.
But I have a bone to pick with you. What happens? You better have a part two. If not, I'll just have to be happy to have read this. Excellent job!
Welcome to WDC! I came across your story in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations!
I found your piece an interesting one, especially the title. It added depth to the relationship you described. You characterization of the mother was complete and complex. You offered alot to think about in such a short piece. Which for me, makes a good story.
Suggestions: It would've read better with spaces betwween the paragraphs.
I was going through "my favorites" looking for something to read. I hope things are well with you, my friend.
Two young women attempt to have a quiet drink: As always, your stories are well written, and this one seemed as real as could be. The two girls and everything that happened. I've seen this scene many times over in my life.
Your two characters were smart enough to leave and call it a day. This just goes to show ya how hard it is to find private time in a public place.
I found this in the How Did YOU Become A Wtriter Contest. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing your offering. The method you chose to tell your story was different and interesting. I've been reading some of the entries; this task certainly reveals the writers creativity level.
I think this contest was very clever, don't you? It gets to the core of the matter and makes the writer examine themselves. It's one of the most meaningful contests that I've entered lately.
Congratulations on your entry, Deep Peace, in the Great Short Story Contest. It was a extremely enjoyable read. Your seductive, descriptive style flowed smoothly and gave me a sense of wonder. I could imagine how the grandfather felt with his family, doing the thing he loved, passing on his traditions. Great job!
I enjoyed your story. The child's voice worked well as the narrator and was believable. I thought the ending was great; children should love it. I can envision those kids watching the bear drive the car into the creek.
I would work on your formatting some, though. Like, putting the dialogue on separate lines. Also you insert quotes when the person is already speaking.
Example: Grandpop yelled "LOOK OUT" "GET OUT OF THE WAY" and dragged us away from the path just as that dumb bear started down the hill. You don't need the quote before Get.
I'd would love to see this after it is illustrated. Nice job!
Congratulations on winning the Febuary contest. I'm embarrassed to say I just located where these are posted--technology is my Achilles Heel. Anyway...
I enjoyed the story. It was well designed and focased. It was a clever idea and the dialogue made it work for me. Nice job!
I found this in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations!
The piece was well written and held my attention until "I loved her". The first person narrator was believable.
Your transitions were effective; it had the feel of a prologue. The situation expressed a familiar reality for many, I'm sure. I didn't notice any grammatical errors. Nice job!
It's been a while. Hope this review finds you well and kicking.
I really enjoyed Club Le Femme. You handled this difficult and sensitive subject even-handed. You revealed Ginger's mixed emotions without dragging down the story. I found the action at the club intereting and fun; it had an authenic feel to it.
The scence at George's grandfather's house tied the story together and gave the piece a larger meaning and theme.
As always, your pieces are well written with enjoyable sentences. Nice job!
This is a great little story. It moved forward easily and the twist was perfect. Even after you said bleeding heart, I didn't connect the flowers until the woman said it. I was thinking maybe she meant bleeding-heart liberal, or something.
For me, really short pieces are the most difficult. Nice job!
I found this in the Drama Newsletter. Congratulations! The piece is really thorough. It is obvious that much blood, sweat, and tears went into this effect.
I thought you handled the enormous amount of information well and keep it interesting. I especially liked the beginning about his childhood. Nice job!
Best regards, Coolhand ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to WDC. I'm glad to make your acquaintance.
Contratulations on the contest! Your story was well written, had an intriging setting, good pacing, and a funny ending. Augustine was an interesting character. Nice job!
This is a hopeful beat. Confession, affirmation, and proclamations make for a positive theme. I like the use of a song as your method of delivery. You don't preach, but suggest: Forgivness and change may both be grand, they seem to walk hand in hand.
The last stanza was my favorite. One suggestion--a coma after speak: an awakening so to speak, a change of heart.
Welcome to WDC! I found this piece in the Nebie Newsletter.
I think this has potential. Nowadays, this type of theme is extemely popular. Have you read The Road, by Cormac McCarthy? No time travel, but the world has experienced a terrible war.
I wish that I would have began writing as eary as you. Write on!
I was searching for something to read this morning, and your handle jumped out at me. And I'm certainly glad it did. This is a superbly written piece.
The story has all the elements of a great short story. It hooked me in the beginning, developed at just the right pace, tied the ending in beautifully, and made me ponder the implications of the event.
But more importanly, for me, was your use of rich descriptive language. Your prose flowed smoothly and brought the setting and action to life. In my humble opinion, this is truely accomplished writing.
The narrator's character was sympathic and believable, and the story rang true.
I love you style and will immediatly add you to my favorites, for further reading.
You use of the expression "living daylights" worked to great effect: from the title, to the fireflies, to the sparkling lights, to the living lights that carried her away.
Many a child trying to understand the adult world has felt like disappearing. Clever writing.
This is an extemely well-written tale of one unlucky family. I will never get in the bee business, this I can assure you. Your piece kept my attention and ended with my full attention.
I found this story in the Action Newsletter. Nice job!
The title caught my eye. I consider myself a dreamer.
This is a lovely, hopeful piece. (Only the blind can not see that dreamers make the world go round.) Your verse flowed and rhymed smoothly. I'm a fan of this type of poetry. Nicw job!
Welcome to WDC! There's something for everyone here, and plenty of good writers willing to share. I found your story in the Newbie Newsletter. And I'm glad I did. It's a humdinger!
The amazing Ridley begins with conflict and intensity, which is maintained throughout, and ends with what I would call, a truly surprise ending. This piece put us in a different world and is totally complete in itself--the essense of a great short story.
I found nothing that I would change; I thoroughly enjoyed it. You should go to the contest page, and enter it some of the good contests we have here at WDC. That way it can be exposed to a larger audience.
I look forward to more of your work.
Best regards, Coolhand
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/coolhand/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 12:00am on May 06, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
