I really liked your poem. Just a few suggestions. In the fifth line, "jewellery" should be "jewelry". Also, using some punctuation might help the flow a little better. Again, these are just my suggestions. Creative writing is just that, creative. Keep up the good work and write on!
This is a great poem! You were able to describe your feelings exactly with so few words/lines. I hope writing about your emotions helped you. I know it sure helps me!
This was a good poem about the possibility of a chance meeting. It made me ask the question, "what if?" We all ask ourselves that question sooner or later. I have a similar poem called "If...". Check it out if you have time.
Hi Michael,
I enjoyed this poem. I could feel the emotion in your words. I've had a few turning points in my life as well so I can certainly relate. I don't see any grammatical errors but it looks like you were trying to center the poem because you have {/center}{/left} after the last line.
I hope everything has worked out for you since your turning point. I'd like to see more writing from you in the future!
Hi dannoden!
Your view on war is very astute. Are you in the military? This poem is quite moving and I'm sure your sentiments are shared by many, including myself.
You've done a great job with this - I wouldn't change a thing!
Hi G,
As promised, I stopped by to check out your new poem.
I really enjoyed this quite a bit. I think we all have moments where we feel like this.
My favorite part:
"Chasing after dreams, hoping for better,
just to catch a nightmare, worse than the last,
adding another ugly souvenir on the dusty shelf,
the one I keep in the back, hidden even from me,
hoping the dust will settle and cover them,
but still...
'Round and 'round I go."
Thanks so much for sharing. Keep up the good work!!
Hi ~WhoMe???~!
I thoroughly enjoyed your short story! It's so true that nothing is more unpredictable than Mother Nature herself! It's also true that Old Man Winter is a stubborn mule.
I do not see any grammatical errors in your short story. You did a wonderful job!
My favorite part:
"Looking back now, I would say that it was the calm before the storm. The silence was so profound and intrusive that it was deafening, for I couldn't hear a thing."
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing piece. Keep up the good work!!
Hi Diane!
I can only imagine how embarrassing this must have been for you! I've actually had a nightmare just like this. Fortunately for me, it was only a nightmare.
I really enjoyed this short story of yours. I hate to admit I got a chuckle out of your embarrassing moment. I'm sure you've since been able to laugh about it as well.
I see no grammatical errors at all - you've done a fantastic job! Thanks so much for sharing. Keep up the great work!
Hi Jaye P. Marshall!
Wow, what an amazing story! I truly believe that things like this happen every day. Our dreams/nightmares can foretell events to come.
My favorite part:
"Suddenly the bright sunlight seemed to waver and the scene she was viewing seemed to pulsate back and forth - toward her, then away again."
Thanks so much for sharing! Keep up the good work!!
Hi Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH!
What an eerily wonderful short story you have here! I really enjoyed your frightening tale of dark pixies and vampires.
My favorite part (because it builds the suspense):
"Dark fairies prey on the souls of the lowest form of human existence, thus, we actually do society a favor. Our pixie appearance gives us the innocent look needed to be great bait."
Thanks so much for sharing! Keep up the good work!!
I loved this acrostic! Friday also happens to be my favorite day of the week! Looks like you had a lot of fun writing this. I certainly had fun reading it!
My favorite part:
"Assault the senses when you play.
Yeah, Friday is the very best day!"
Thanks so much for sharing! Keep up the good work!!
And, hey, guess what? Tomorrow is Friday - WOOHOO!! TGIF!
Hi Gothic Angel gone!
I hope writing about your state of depression was able to help you get through it. This was a great prose...very heartfelt. I do not see any grammatical errors.
My favorite part:
"I am delicately balancing on a precipice, but I know I will eventually lose my balance."
Hi Legerdemain!
Your short story is so descriptive, I could visualize your recurring nightmare! You did a great job putting it into words for everyone to experience it as you do.
Hi COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME,
This is a wonderful poem about the place you call home! Your "little house on the hill" sounds like a wonderful place to be!
My favorite part:
"I'm not really alone most of the time,
I spend some spare hours writing rhyme.
I have my son's dog and a grandaughter's cat
to keep me company, now fancy that!
I call it HOME."
God, you're like the shameless plug page hog tonight! Just kidding, pal!
Another great piece! How very philosophical of you. Indeed, would any of us know any differently if we couldn't tell the difference? It's a question that could be asked of so many different things. I really enjoyed this - don't change a thing!!
Um, wow is all I can say. I can tell this is an extremely emotional piece for you. I think this is a "place" where most of us have been at some point in our lives.
Another great piece! I could tell this truly came from the heart. You are a hopeless romantic like me.
My favorite part:
"And I want to let her know
it's okay
to love
uncontrollably and unconditionally
with my heart wrapped in her sleeve
and set free by tender kisses
morning, noon and night,
but how?"
I really enjoyed this. I do think these could be used as lyrics also. This is great and makes me feel that there's a certain someone out there you're referring to.
My favorite part:
"The elements created this.
Is it what cements us,
or does it serve to weigh us down?"
Hi T-B-B!
I really enjoyed this poem. I saw your note about the last line in the first stanza. I like it but, if you don't, maybe you could change it to "But now it's all I know" or "And it hasn't started to slow" or end the third line with a ; and your fourth line could be, "It continues to ebb and flow". Just a few suggestions.
I do really like this poem. Good luck with your edits! Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
Hi Gabriella,
This is fantastic! I LOVE Shakespeare. You did an amazing job with the verse and language.
My favorite part:
"Sadly, at winter's edge I hastily go
That I may abandon love's challenging game
To have departed with naught but grace
My heart longs for love's deep glorious stain"
I enjoyed this so much. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!
Saying you're wonderful just ain't enough sometimes
Ridiculously we don't think you are here for your own writing as well
Maybe this raid will go miles in sending you
Our love and appreciation, with one stipulation
Don't expect us to go easy on you because of your case color!
So for all you do, this review is for you.
Thank you! You Rock!
Again you've managed to put into words an experience that so many of us have been through. Thank you so much for sharing!
Just remember to take time for yourself every now and again to
Write On!
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I've actually had a nightmare just like this. Fortunately for me, it was only a nightmare.
"
, with one stipulation
Thank you! You Rock!