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1,747 Public Reviews Given
1,900 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I would characterise my reviews as honest and polite. I try to approach each item as a writer and a reader. I keep writingML to a minimum as it is distracting to me. I am starting to experiment with templates, having never really used one before now -- please bear with me while I try to find one that suits my review style! I always try to be constructive, positive and encouraging in my reviews.
I'm good at...
Reviewing poetry, focusing on emotion, flow and imagery. I have a particular passion for short poetry.
Favorite Genres
Dark, Emotional, Experience, Nature, Personal, Psychology
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica (unless it's tasteful and non-clichéd!), Fanfiction, Religious, Sci-fi, Supernatural, Young Adult
Favorite Item Types
I prefer, and am most confident, reviewing poetry. But I do sometimes review short stories, essays and articles etc.
I will not review...
Erotica (unless it's tasteful and non-clichéd!), Fanfiction, Young Adult fiction, novels or novel chapters (unless I know you very well!), horror items rated above 18+ (though I am happy to review other genres with higher ratings), anything featuring vampires, anything written in "text speak" or any non-static or non-book items (except in special circumstances).
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Redtowrite ,

I found this to be a powerful and emotional poem about a slave girl's determination and courage to escape and live a free life. I enjoyed how you used nature in this poem and especially liked this part:

"In her heart lays a sweet meadow,
a clean spring runs..."

I have often found peace, comfort and inspiration in nature so could really relate to this.

I found some parts of this poem a little confusing and needed to read it through several times in order to take in what you are trying to convey. Maybe a little clarification or simplification is needed in places? I think I understand most of it now, but am still having trouble with the second line of the final stanza. I just can't figure out what you mean by "spun kindness in trees". Sorry I have misunderstood.

Overall I think this is a good, strong poem. I think you have done a great job of conveying the emotions to the reader and I enjoyed the message of this piece. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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127
127
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Shannon ,

I often find it hard to review items like this, which are clearly deeply personal to the writer. But it is a lot easier when the piece is as beautifully written as this!

Though it meanders, and you've digressed a lot, and maybe bent the rules of the contest a bit, it's sincere and emotional and that makes it a compelling read. I really felt caught up in the message of this letter. It could so easily have become cheesy and preachy but you stay on the right side of inspirational and I genuinely felt moved by your words.

I like how you have presented two aspects of your personality -- the almost whimsical and passionate part of yourself, who sometimes maybe gets a bit carried away, and the more cynical, held-back side, who needs to be convinced that following your heart is the right thing to do. I think we all experience this to some extent, in some ways, and I think you have done a great job of portraying that.

I don't have any suggestions to make for this piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and think it is perfect as it is.

Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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128
128
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Robin:TheRhymeMaven ,

I am reviewing your poem as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I found this to be a lovely poem about the beauty of nature. It has a strong message, urging us to start treating our environment with more respect. There are some beautiful descriptions, and I particularly liked the "Vanilla skies and crimson sun" part. The poem has a rather quaint feel to it, which I think works quite well.

As for the structure, I'm so impressed that not only have you written in the Acrostic form, you've also kept a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. That must have been quite challenging, but you have made it seem easy!

For me, personally, the language in this piece was just a little too "ornate" in places, and I often had to re-read lines to grasp their meaning. I'm still a bit confused by this part:

"new ways bid birth"

And also this part:

"Selected struggles haunt our light;"

I'm just finding it hard to get my thoughts around these phrases and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by them. Also, the second example feels a bit forced to me.

But overall I think this is a nice poem, with a good message. Thank you for sharing it.

~Jess.
129
129
Review of Canada Geese  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Rikki ,

I am reviewing your poem as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I found this to be a fun and light-hearted poem. I like your take on the nature genre. I've read so many poems about the beauty and wonder of nature that it's refreshing to read something that presents the subject in a different way. I enjoyed the story you told in this piece and the humour of it too -- it made me smile!

The only thing I can think to suggest really is to add more to the beginning of the poem. It seems to me that you get to the turning point too quickly. I think a stanza on the positives of having the geese in the pond could work well and increase the comic effect when the reader realises that your opinions soon changed! Of course this is just a suggestion.

Overall I think this is a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for the laugh!

~Jess.
130
130
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Endless Enigma ,

I am reviewing your poem as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I found this to be a beautiful and emotional poem. I love the originality of this piece and how you have built up the suspense to that extraordinary ending, which has such an impact. I enjoyed the mystical feel of this poem too and how you have used nature to get your message across. I also like how you have allowed sentences to spill from one stanza to the next, as if the ideas and emotion poured out. I think this is very effective and gives the poem a nice flow.

I love the story you have told, and the creative way you have told it. I truly enjoyed this poem and I think it is going to stay with me for a while yet. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.
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131
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

I am reviewing your poem as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This is a beautifully written Nonet poem that effectively reminds us that Christmas isn't just about presents and Santa Claus! It may be short, but it certainly packs a punch and I think you have done a good job of conveying the scene to the reader. I liked the simplicity of this piece and the subtlety of the writing. I also enjoyed the imagery, especially the "crystal splendour" description.

Mostly I think this poem flows very nicely and that is aided by your use of assonance, which works very well. However, I stumbled at the fifth and sixth lines when reading aloud. The fifth line, in particular, feels quite disconnected from the rest of the poem. One way of fixing this could be to replace "The" with "And", connecting this line to the previous one. I personally think this helps to improve the fluidity of the writing but of course it is just a suggestion.

Overall I think this is a lovely poem and I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.
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132
Review of NATURE WEEPS  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Oldwarrior ,

I am reviewing your poem as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This is an intense and dramatic poem about the negative impact the human race has had on the environment. I think you have done a good job of personifying nature and have created a strong, forceful atmosphere, which is really effective in getting your message across to the reader.

I think the rhythm of this poem could use a little work. Maybe you could try reading it aloud, if you haven't already. I often find that helps me to identify the rough spots in my own work. I found some of the phrasing a bit awkward too, for example this part:

"you made no second look"

This seems quite forced to me and doesn't read smoothly. I also had trouble with this part:

"I need a fresh new start."

The words "fresh" and "new" basically mean the same thing in this context, making one of them redundant in my opinion. Maybe "brand new" could work? Though that possibly sounds quite forced too. I'm not sure!

But overall I think this is powerful piece of writing with a strong message. Thank you for sharing it. I hope you have found this review helpful.

~Jess.
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133
Review of Boundless  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Fairport ,

Thank you for entering
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.

This is an interesting and thought-provoking poem that I interpreted to be about death and what happens to the soul after somebody has passed away. I enjoyed the philosophical tone of this piece, and some of the imagery is quite nice. I particularly liked the idea of "celestial lights" paving the way. I also liked the third line of the final stanza.

I'm afraid I had trouble following some of the lines in this poem. Unfortunately I can't seem to get my thoughts around the opening two lines, even though I have read them several times now. I'm also having trouble with the first two lines of the second stanza. This might just be me! But if you get similar feedback from others, then this might be something to work on.

I think the punctuation could use some work. It's the poet's choice of course, whether or not they use end-line punctuation, but whatever the decision, I think it is important to remain consistent. I think this piece could really benefit from consistent punctuation, to help guide the reader through it.

One last thing, the word "do" in the third line seems unnecessary to me, and a little clumsy too. I'd suggest removing it.

Overall I think this is a good poem. It's different and I think you have done a nice job of building up an almost mystical atmosphere. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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134
134
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dave ,

I am one of the judges for

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Thank you for your entry.

I really enjoyed reading this beautifully written fantasy poem. I like the playfulness of it and the striking imagery. The Spenserian sonnet is one of my favourite poetry forms and I think you have done a great job with it -- the poem flows wonderfully and the rhyme scheme is perfect. I love the use of assonance throughout, which really helps to give the poem a strong sound and also enhances the rhythm. You have clearly put a lot of thought into the word choices and it has definitely paid off -- it is a fun piece to read out loud!

Thank you very much for a great read.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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135
135
Review of Poem  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello QX ~ Brenton-> ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a nice little poem! It is sweetly written and I enjoyed the emotion of it. I also liked the simplicity. There are some nice descriptions in this piece. I particularly liked the "velvet words" part and the "Magic rises" phrase, which I felt was quite an unusual and striking description.

My main suggestion is to work on the punctuation. You seem to have used it rather inconsistently. I personally don't think it always matters if a poet chooses to use end-line punctuation or not, but I do think it is important to be consistent in that choice. I really think this poem could benefit from a careful edit.

The other suggestion I have is to be wary of using clichés and abstract ideas. I feel the poem is strongest where you have included concrete descriptions and striking language choices, like in the third line, for example, and the final line too. Lines like the fourth one are a bit general and therefore not as captivating. But of course this is just my opinion.

Overall I think this is a good piece, which has lots of potential and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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136
136
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Oldwarrior ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be an interesting and nicely written poem, though a pretty sad one. You tell a great story in this piece and my attention was held all the way through it. I like the structure of this poem and think you have done a good job with the rhythm and rhyme scheme. I found the repetition to be very effective too.

My only suggestion really is to give the poem a careful edit as I noticed a few punctuation errors. A couple of them really have quite an impact on how the poem is read. For example, I don't think there should be a full stop at the end of the fourth couplet as the sentence seems to flow into the next couplet. Also, I think the closing speech marks in the thirteenth couplet should come at the end of the second line rather than the first one.

These things are easily fixed though of course and did not take anything away from my enjoyment of the poem, which I found to be a very captivating read. Thank you for sharing it.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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137
Review of Ambition  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello LinWrites47 ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a fun and quirky poem about a lack of ambition and motivation. I can really relate to this piece as I often feel like this too! I really enjoyed your choice of subject and the humorous way you approached it. That really helps to make your poem stand out.

I just have a couple of suggestions to make. Please take what is useful to you! Firstly, I'm personally not sure about using an emoticon in the middle of a poem. It seems too informal to me and unnecessary too. I think maybe you need to have more confidence in your ability to get the emotion and tone of your words across to the reader! I think you have done this well and don't need the emoticon to help you. This is just my opinion though, of course.

Secondly, I'm not sure the last line of the poem has the impact a last line should have. I really like the second line of the last stanza and am wondering if there is a way to make this the final line. Maybe something like this could work:

'Where are you ambition?
I'm sitting here alone.
I've so much to do...
Won't you make yourself known?'

Of course this is a suggestion and just something I came up with on the spot, but I feel it offers a stronger final line.

Overall I think this is a great comic poem and I really enjoyed reading it. It made me smile and I could definitely connect with the message. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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138
138
Review of Shell  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Cianter ,

I am one of the judges for

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Thank you for your entry.

This is a very intense and dramatic poem which was clearly written from the heart, making it a captivating read. I could really feel and connect to the emotion of this piece--there have been times when I have felt in a similar way.

I have a few points and suggestions that you can, of course, use or ignore as you wish. Firstly, I feel the rhyme scheme of this piece is weighing it down a bit. It is quite predictable in places and also distracting, sometimes eclipsing the message of the poem. This might be an area to work on if you agree with my point and choose to work on this piece some more.

Secondly, there are a few clichés in this poem. Things like feeling a darkness inside and living in hell have been overdone and don't really offer anything new to the reader. There are a few general descriptions too where I felt you could have gone into more detail. Parts like 'I feel so isolated' could be expanded to help the reader know what isolation feels like for you

One last thing, I noticed one error in this poem: in the twelfth line "atack" should be "attack".

Overall I think this is an emotionally stirring poem that has a lot of potential. I just feel it needs some polishing. If this is based on true experience I hope writing it all out was helpful to you.

Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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139
139
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Itchy Water~fictionandverse ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be an emotional poem that seems to be about finding faith and discovering the true person you are. I must admit it is hard for me to connect to poetry like this as I am not a religious person, but I can appreciate that many people will find this inspirational and take comfort from your words. I enjoyed the philosophical tone of this poem and the thoughtful questions.

I'm afraid I couldn't really discern a rhythm in this piece and I found some of the lines quite unwieldy. Maybe try reading the poem aloud, if you haven't already. I often find this is helpful to me in finding the rough spots in the flow. The lines that particularly stuck out to me are the third and twelfth lines. In the third line I'd suggest cutting this part:

"Among all to see..."

I personally don't think this part is necessary and feel that losing it would help to enhance the flow. I'm not sure what to suggest for the twelfth line because I'm not really sure what you are trying to say here. Sorry to be so unhelpful!

Overall I think this is a nice poem. Thank you for sharing it.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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140
140
Review of Lesson of Nature  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello ElenaJLM ,

I am one of the judges for

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Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a nice poem that seems to be about what we can learn from nature and how we can gain strength and be inspired by the natural world. I enjoyed the simplicity of this poem and the emotion of it. As a nature-lover, I could really connect to the message of this piece.

I just have a few suggestions to make concerning rhythm which you can, of course, use or ignore as you see fit. Firstly, I stumbled over the fourth line, which doesn't feel quite right to me and I'm not sure it reads correctly. Maybe something like this might scan more easily:

"I will show you how beautifully life can be grown"

Or something like that!

The sixth line for me feels a little cumbersome and could be tightened up in my opinion, which will enhance the flow. Maybe try reading this part aloud as it might help you to hear the rhythm more easily. I just feel this line has a beat or two too many. The eighth line also seems to have one beat too many and I would suggest cutting out the second use of the word "look".

In the ninth line I think removing the third usage of "me" really helps to improve the flow. The tenth line also feels awkward to me, though I'm afraid I can't think of anything to suggest for this part at the moment.

One last thing, towards the end of the poem you use "i" rather than "I" so I think this piece would benefit from a careful edit.

Overall I think this poem has a lot of potential, it just needs some polishing! I really enjoyed reading it and especially liked the powerful and emotional ending. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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141
141
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Jaiam ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I really enjoyed this poem. The theme is creative -- it's refreshing to read something a little different and I think this is a wonderful tribute to the artists you respect. The reverent tone and emotion make this a captivating read. I felt myself being swept along by your words! The poem flows beautifully and is fun to read aloud. I think you've done a great job pacing this and have clearly thought very carefully about the word choices and how to break the lines. I like the single lines spaced throughout -- they help the reader pause for thought before being pulled back in to the dramatic emotion.

The only thing I can think to suggest really is to maybe reconsider or at least limit the use of exclamation points. I'm not sure they are really necessary as the poem is quite dramatic and earnest in tone anyway, even without them.

This is just a minor thing though and did not spoil my enjoyment of the poem in any way. Thank you very much for a great read. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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142
142
Review of Railway to Heaven  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello tlsea ,

(So sorry, I forgot to make this review public so I'm re-sending it. *Blush*)

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.
.

Thank you for your entry.

I think this is a beautifully written and emotionally stirring poem about the loss of a child. Despite the overwhelmingly sad subject matter I actually found this to be a positive and inspiring piece of writing. The message is uplifting when it could have so easily been negative. You have put an original spin on the common theme of death which really makes your piece stand out.

I wasn't sure of the rhythm of this poem at first but I found when I read it aloud and slowed the pace down it flows rather beautifully. However, I did still stumble over a couple of lines. Firstly, in the last line of the third stanza I feel something like this would read more smoothly:

'A heavenly song'

or:

'A song from heaven'

or even:

'A heaven-sent song'.

Of course these are just suggestions. Also, the last line of the fourth stanza feels a bit awkward to me too. I think the word 'one' before 'last' might help this part to scan more easily.

But overall I think this is a wonderful poem and I really enjoyed reading it. I feel the emotion of this one is going to stay with me for a while yet. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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143
Review of The Laidly Wyrm  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello J.A. Stevens ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

This isn't the kind of poem I'd usually choose to read but I've read it through a few times now and like it more each time! I particularly enjoyed the language and style--they help to give a quaint and mythical feel to the poem which works so well considering the subject. The imagery is very nice too--I especially liked the last two lines of the penultimate stanza and also the third stanza. The phrase "corridors of the sky" is very striking. I think you have a good, strong ending to this piece. I liked the philosophical tone of the last two lines--they gave me something to think about!

The structure is great--the rhyme scheme is flawless and the rhythm is steady. It is a fun piece to read out loud.

Overall I think this is an interesting and nicely written poem. Thank you for sharing it.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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144
144
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Magoo ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I really enjoyed this wonderful poem about a father and his child play-wrestling. I like how the poem is told from the child's perspective--it works well and adds to the comic effect. I think you got the tone just right. The child's innocent belief that he is stronger than his dad is adorable and made me smile.

The poem has a strong flow and the rhyme scheme is great. It's a fun piece to read aloud.

Sorry this review is so short but I can't think of any suggestions to make! Thank you for a great read.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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Review of Walk with God  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello summer ,

I am one of the judges for

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#1708390 by Not Available.


Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a beautifully emotional poem that seems to be about the belief that God is there, even in tough times, when people may feel they have been deserted by him. I must admit it is hard for me to connect on a personal level with poetry like this, as I do not believe in a god, but I can understand and appreciate that many people will feel moved and inspired by your words.

I found the rhythm of this piece a little uneven. It might be helpful to read the poem out loud and as naturally as possible (not forcing lines unnaturally into the rhythm you want the poem to have, which is something I'm often guilty of!) I find this usually helps me to identify more easily the rough parts of a poem.

My only other suggestion really is to be mindful of clichés. The idea of pain and despair being dark, for example, is very overdone. Maybe you could try to "improve" the clichés by putting your own spin on them or twisting them around completely, to offer something new to the reader.

My favourite part of the poem was the bit about hope, near the end of the piece. I feel this part is wonderfully creative and I love the comparison of regaining hope after a difficult event to climbing a slope.

Overall I think this is a good piece of writing and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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Review of Sensibility  
Review by Ghostranch
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Amaryllis ,

I am one of the judges for

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.

Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a wonderfully emotional poem. I really enjoyed the positivity of this piece, and the upbeat tone. The message that we all matter to someone is heart-warming and inspiring and I felt there was a real sincerity to your words. There are also some beautiful descriptions in this piece--I especially enjoyed the imagery in the second and fourth stanzas.

I found the rhythm to be a little uneven in places and would suggest tightening up the writing a bit, especially near the beginning. Maybe try reading the poem aloud, as naturally as possible, and see if any parts stick out. As an example, I felt the word "decidedly" in the first stanza hindered the flow.

It might also be worth taking another look at the line breaks. As an example, in the fourth stanza, there is a natural pause after the word "flowers". However, placing the words "rising up" after this part moves the pause to an unnatural place, and this affects the rhythm. I'd suggest moving that part onto the next line so the fourth line of this stanza reads:

"Rising up to meet our feet."

Of course these are just suggestions.

Overall I think this is a lovely poem, which has a lot of potential. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work. I hope you have found this review helpful.

(Please remember not to edit your poem until the contest has been awarded).

~Jess.

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Review of Welcome  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Firefly23 ,

I am one of the judges for "Invalid Item" . Thank you for entering! Please do not edit your poem until the judging has finished.

I found this to be a nice poem about friendship and socialising. I like your interpretation of the image prompt and can see that you were probably inspired by the warmth of the picture as your poem exudes a cosy atmosphere! The idea of the door being closed but unlocked makes the scene feel intimate, yet welcoming. I think you have done a good job meeting the form requirements too.

I feel the punctuation of this poem needs some work as it is inconsistent. I don't think the dash is necessary at the end of the third line as the sentence naturally runs on to the next line. Also, I think commas are needed after the words "Joy" and "laughter" in the first line, and after the word "unlocked". You might want to consider using end-line punctuation consistently in order to "show" the reader how your poem should be read.

But overall I think this is a good poem, which has lots of potential, and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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Review of Pathways  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

I am one of the judges for "Invalid Item" . Thank you for entering! Please do not edit your poem until the judging has finished.

I really enjoyed this poem and I think you have done an excellent job with form. The flow is beautiful. I love the language choices in this piece too and I like how the reader isn't entirely sure what this poem is about until the last line. I think the pause before the very last word is extremely effective.

Sorry this review is so short but I can't think of anything to suggest for this piece! I think it is fantastic as it is! Thank you for sharing it.

~Jess.

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Review of A Simple Seed  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Liam ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item" . Thank you for your entry.

I found this to be a thought-provoking, philosophical poem about the role of man on Earth. I think, in the first three stanzas, you have done a great job of depicting the power man has, and the arrogance too. I particularly enjoyed the second stanza--I think the writing is exceptional here. I really like how you've contrasted the image of the free-flying dove, who contributes to the world ecologically, with the image of humans selfishly and greedily taking without giving anything in return. The closing couplet adds another dimension to the poem, and offers a new thought.

I think you have done an excellent job with the form. The iambic pentameter is very good. You clearly know what you're doing and I don't think the trochaic and pyrrhic substitutions were accidental! These variations, along with the flawless rhyme scheme, really help to give the poem a strong sound. It was fun to read out loud! No word is wasted in this piece, and no part of it feels forced.

I can't see any way to improve this! I really enjoyed your poem. Thank you for sharing it.

~Jess.

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Review of Temptation  
Review by Ghostranch
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello oscines ,

I am one of the judges of the "Invalid Item" . Thank you for your entry for week 3.

I really enjoyed this poem and I think you have done an excellent job with the week 3 requirements. I could definitely "hear" the separate voices of this internal dialogue. I could relate to it too!

I love the descriptions and imagery in this piece, especially in the second and third stanzas. I think you have made great use of alliteration too--'cavernous caverties" is particularly effective, in my opinion. I really enjoyed the descriptions of the different types of chocolate. The "almond terrain" image is wonderfully creative.

Overall I think this is a fantastic piece of writing. I can't see anyway to improve it. Thank you for sharing your work.

~Jess.

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