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Review Requests: ON
723 Public Reviews Given
723 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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301
301
Review of Time Trap  
Review by
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Cool piece of fantasy work here. You've built the world well and made a creative story.

I liked the way the sorceress (by the way, you dropped the "r" in the word in the subtitle) outwits the man by using his own demon against him.

You have a good way of writing, and this is a good world to continue writing about.

I see no typos or anything to fix.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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302
302
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, what a cool story. I hope the Walter trapped in the violin learns some lessons as the apprentice takes good care of him and makes him sing.

Very creative and well written. I love violins and it's interesting to think that the wood might be unethically sourced in a fantasy world.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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303
303
Review of Who  
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A nice little piece, not strictly holiday related but artistic and creative. I like the nature girl and her flute. You've incorporated the owls well. It sounds like a sample of a larger story; you can do a lot with this character and setting.

Thanks for sharing, good luck and keep writing *Smile*

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304
304
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing this with us.

I'm glad you were able to spend so much quality time with your loved ones. They were very strong and hard working women. It's good to write it all down so that you have a family record and something to share with others.

The poem at the end is a little unclear for me; did you write it as a finish to the story, or is that the name of the poet?

One thing I noticed is that the word "lymph" in "lymph nodes" is misspelled several times as "lump." Other than that I didn't find anything to correct.

Take care and keep writing *Smile*
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305
305
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

A strong letter to our enemy that expresses your feelings well. I like how you make it feel like you're shouting on a podium at a rally. It reminds us to take care of ourselves and never give up hope, and personifies the cancer as a bully without using the vulgarity I see sometimes when cancer is personally addressed.

The pink color and bold font is a great idea and adds to the emotional impact.

I noticed you only have one real genre selected. I would recommend using all three to ensure people can find it if they're looking for it. Perhaps "experience" and "community" would be good choices.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *AwarenessP*

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306
306
Review of The dragon's den  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Kaden,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

I really enjoyed this story and found it exciting. You wrote well without any typos or misspellings that I could see.

The only thing I noticed is that several points in the narrative did not flow logically. I felt as if you had made revisions and didn't join it all together smoothly. I'll try to explain what I mean.

The first point is where the knight already has his sword when he sees the man holding the lance. But then the words "sword" and "lance" get mixed up and the knight ends up receiving the extra weapon from the man even though the man might need it if the dragon escapes his lair (it's unclear if the knight gave his sword to the man in exchange.) Also, you have no dialogue tags in their conversation, and the man speaks over several paragraphs, so it becomes unclear who is speaking after a bit.

Perhaps when you describe the peace of the night forest it should rather be ominous. Maybe even the smell of burnt wood or something.

Then, when the knight enters the lair, you have him staring into the dragon's eyes before he even sees the dragon, when he trips over the stash.

Also, I'm not sure if coins of jade exist or if a dragon would be interested in them. But that's a minor point.

Then at the end, the knight rides off on his horse despite having been injured. Perhaps it would be nicer if the man bandaged the knight's burn for him with some special native salve from the area. After all, he's a hero now. But that hardly matters.

This was a fun read with a classic form, and aside from what I noticed it's nearly perfect in my opinion.

If you're interested in a second opinion, you can visit Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 and post this in his Review Spot forum.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT**Quill*

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307
307
Review of The Well  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I wasn't sure if I should expect a dark twist at the end, or if it would be a cheesy retelling of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, but I'm happy to see it's a charming and innocent children's story.

Perhaps you could rewrite the subtitle to give us some idea of the story.

I found it easy to read and flows well. The idea of their surname being Pickle is quaint and old-fashioned.

It's a charming story, and the only thing I would suggest is to standardize the spelling of the word "necklace." You have it misspelled a few times.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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308
308
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, found this with the Random Read and Review button.

What a neat story. It's amusing and engaging and has a nice philosophical ending.

I liked Jerome's character and the backstory about his mom and dad. And the amusing detail of MSB's absurd superpower is fun.

I wonder who Jerome will marry. Will they do research to find the genetic probabilities of his kids having superpowers if he marries a superhero?*Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on winning the contest. Take care and keep writing *Smile**Quill*

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309
309
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done. My eyes glaze over whenever the topic arises of determining syllable counts and following structures in poetry. I’m too much of a free bird for that… or too lazy, either way*Laugh*

It’s artistic and forms a gently autobiographical image. You’re improving your poetic skills, and I look forward to more.

Take care and keep writing*Smile*


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310
310
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I found this with the Random Read and Review button.

I really enjoyed reading it. Your free verse flows well and the thoughts and images connect nicely to create a compelling composition.

The idea of conveying feelings and friendship silently with body language is classic. You've given it a charming innocence by associating it with a mother cat and kitten. We know how important touch is for human babies to thrive, and this gives your words significance.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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311
311
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Found this with the Random Read and Review button.

First a suggestion to tidy up the title and subtitle, though that's fairly minor. You can also change the "contest" genre to "relationship".

I like the flow and thought. You've incorporated the target words nicely, though the rhyme dwindles out by the end. But any more rhyming would have made it too trite.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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312
312
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I noticed this on the Read a Newbie sidebar.

Welcome to WdC *Smile* Glad you're here.

I'm not sure how seriously to take this introduction to you because it looks like a parody of Prince Harry. Is that what it's supposed to be? Or is that just a coincidence of my lack of cultural literacy? Of course I understand it's "tongue in cheek..."

Harry sounds intriguing; I'd look forward to learning more about him and his personality by reading what he writes. You can tell a lot from a person after you've read enough of their writing, whether they realize it or not.

Thanks for sharing, keep writing, and I look forward to seeing more of you around *BigSmile**HeartB*

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313
313
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A cute little poem about children and role models.

We all should be reminded how much we become examples for the young people around us, whether anyone realizes it or not. The setting of healthy goals and expectations is important for their well-being.

Your rhyme is excellent and the meter flows well. I see no corrections or spots for suggestions.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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314
314
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I found this on top of the Please Review page.

A brief vignette, sketching the scene of one of those annoying nights where you can't get to sleep for the life of you.

Well crafted and captures the irritating feeling in a few words. Albeit, there's no plot or resolution, which makes it a vignette rather than a flash fiction, I think (I'm not entirely sure about that.)

Anyway, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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315
315
Review of Prophecy  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I love the structure and how skillfully you employed it. It's nice to look at and pleasant to read.

The idea of using a scarecrow to illustrate the circle of time and passage of seasons is charming. It creates a picture in our heads and conveys the story more gently than if you used a person.

I appreciate the explanation at the end, it helps to clarify your intentions and the style of poem used.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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316
316
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well...

I don't have much to say about this, as honestly I never saw the movie or read the unabridged book.

Instead of buying a copy of The Wizard of Oz for Christmas one year, Mom bought me Glinda of Oz, the last book in the Oz series. I don't think she even realized it was a different book entirely.

I found it fascinating and actually much more interesting than the standard Oz story that everyone knows, and I highly recommend it. Looking back on it, it was like a foreshadowing of my current nerdy delight in knowing my musical artists' deep cuts.

You've got a bit of a laundry list here with all the differences between the book and movie, but it's an engaging read. I didn't realize most of that; it's good to know.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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317
317
Review by
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm up late hanging out in your port, Joey*Laugh*

This is beautifully written and hits close. I'm glad you received a purple ribbon on it and I'm glad I found it this month. I've been thinking a lot about DV lately. Or at least, more than I usually do.

Anyway, I like the unusual POV and semi biographical feel of it, and the reminder to us all to treat everyone kindly, because we never know what they may be going through. I wonder if it's a true story about your wife's experience as a nurse, but perhaps I'm reading into it...

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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318
318
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I saw this on the sidebar and decided to check it out since it's flash fiction. It was a good idea to let us know in your subtitle.

I loved how quickly and skillfully you built the fantasy world and showed us the hard-working injured fellow.

The ending is so funny, all that suspicious potion making the old plant stand anew and proving it would probably have done the same for the guy (I made the assumption he's elderly but there's really no evidence of that.)

A cool piece of flash fiction, well-written and amusing.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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319
319
Review of More Lysol!  
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I finally got tired of seeing this advertised on the sidebar and decided to read it and satisfy my curiosity.

With 76 previous reviews over the past fifteen years, you probably don't need any advice or suggestions *Laugh*

From the subtitle I was expecting a short story, and I find it neat that it's actually a fairly brief poem. It doesn't drag on forever, and gets the point across without too much awfulness.

The rhyme scheme is clever and careful, and I like how the opening verse closes it, reminiscent of some creepy old ballad from the Elements of Literature.

And speaking of which, it also has an Edgar Allan Poe feel, with the dark irony and the narrator being the obsessed guilty party.

In all, a good piece. My timing of reading it during "spooky season" was perfect. Congrats on having it accepted in a magazine.

I may check out the rest of your portfolio someday*Smile*

In the meantime, thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartT**Quill*

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320
320
Review of The Clever Foxes  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Using the Random Read and Review button again and found this*Smile*

It's adorable; I'm a big fan of children's literature and this is a fine example. You tell a simple story in charming language using forest animals, with a spiritual note at the end.

It seems a bit odd that "communication" would solve the problem of the bullies; I would recommend avoidance myself.

Your meter and rhyme flow well and make for an easy, enjoyable read.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*

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321
321
Review of The Wallet  
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I saw this on the newsfeed and stopped by to read it.

I really like the story of a woman traveling to be with her friend and getting a miraculous good deed. The little details, like the rest area, the Subaru, and washing up in the morning add so much realism to it. The ending was sad and heartwarming at the same time, as we see an apparent robbery (are you implying it had something to do with the nice young man?) and the kindness of a stranger.

I would suggest changing the primary genre from “contest entry” to something related to the subject like “community” or even “folklore” (it’s ok if one of your three genres is a bit of a stretch.)

Also, you’ve used the default small font, which may be difficult for people to read and tends to give things a “boring” feel. I personally set most of my fonts at size 4 or 3.5.

Thanks for sharing this, I enjoyed reading it. Take care and keep writing*HeartT*


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322
322
Review of Pandora 2020  
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I found this with the Random Read and Review button.

I love your meter and rhyme, it’s so tidy and really adds to the poem quality.

The theme is excellent, with a clear-eyed view of today’s issues and a hopeful directive at the end. We are all contributing to the problems in some small way, and realizing this instead of blaming others is the first step towards a better world.

Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoyed it. Take care and keep writing*Smile* *HeartB*


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323
323
Review of Tired  
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing this personal poem with us. It conveys your feelings in a smooth and flowing way with simple words. I find it quite relatable.

Your note of hope comes in the middle of the poem, and then the end dwindles out into a sort of unhappy fragment. Perhaps the hope could be saved for the end to leave us with a better feeling. But it has so few words anyway that it hardly matters.

Sending hugs and best wishes. Keep writing*Hug1**Smile**Hug2* *HeartP*

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324
324
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found your story using the Random Read and Review button.

This is hilarious; I love the buildup to the twist at the end, even though I suspected it early on. The main character is interesting, and it might be fun to see a sequel in which he visits the strange new world and is developed further.

You have a good writing style with no spelling, grammar or other minor errors. I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile**HeartT*
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325
325
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I found your poem by using the Random Read and Review button.

This is really sweet and funny. I love the gentle absurdity of the family situations you describe, and the way everyone loves and respects each other despite the issues. That's what makes a family, after all.

Your rhyme and meter flows well and creates an enjoyable read.

I have no suggestions for improvement *Smile*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*

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