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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow
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660 Public Reviews Given
660 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Eternal Life  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Groan… I forgot to affiliate that last review with Annette’s Anniversary page. Anyway… I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing your beliefs here. Don’t let anyone try to interfere and give you bad ratings just because they believe differently. You haven’t said anything here which most Christians wouldn’t also agree with in a general sense, though perhaps they would argue about the different levels of heaven and whether people are “good enough” to get to heaven but not quite good enough to be with their families.

As you might know, Imagine Dragons lead singer Dan Reynolds grew up in the LDS church, and though he doesn’t hold to much of what they believe anymore, he still likes to say that he’s part of the community and he’s “bringing change from the inside” in relation to LGBTQ rights and loving everyone equally and the youth suicide rate and those serious issues that he feels the church lands on the wrong side of.

I don’t have anything to suggest here, because it’s a personal essay and I’m not too familiar with the LDS beliefs.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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2
2
Review of Tinkering Dreams  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi, I’m here to do a couple of Anniversary Reviews to help me finish off Door 20 in GoT. There’s some dispute about whether it needs ten reviews or twenty, and as there’s a limit to how much stink I can raise without being booted out entirely, I wanted to be on the safe side before it’s too late *Laugh* I had no idea the Doors would be closing at midnight tomorrow… Gaby sprung that on us…

Anyway, a fantastic story you have here, full of atmosphere and feeling. We can see everything playing out before us, and it’s “shown not told” quite well. The steampunk elements are carefully woven into the late Victorian era setting, and the dialogue is accurate to a Dickensian extent. I love how Harold has a happy ending, but I do hope he tried to help that poor girl before they parted ways. It was quite distressing to see the abject poverty and desperation she was living in, and the horrors of the sweatshop that Harold was working in are well portrayed.

Was this your own idea, unprompted by any contest? It isn’t often I come across a good steampunk story that wasn’t written to a contest, and the idea of the enormous hat full of gadgets reminded me of last month’s Steampunk contest by Beck. Or was that this month’s…? No, March was the most recent one. Anyway, this was a great read, and I don’t have much to suggest.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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3
3
Review of Parlor  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Oh, this is a nice one. The childish simplicity of the theme is gently developed and drawn along to the happiness of the mature conclusion, as we see the narrator gradually moving through different stages of life, connected by the threads of an ice cream parlor and the gradually evolving metaphor of the sea.

I do love a good poem, and this captures so much of the essence of life. We see the kindness of the narrator’s companion as they buy them ice cream through the difficulties of life. We see a picture of steadfast fidelity as the relationship continues through the years and the metaphors shift to reflect the passage of time.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to make the most of your presentation here at WdC, as having a small text flanked by the busyness of the sidebars tends to draw attention away from your item. You may even want to center the text or choose a cute shade of pink like the ice cream… but that would probably be too goofy.

I really enjoyed this poem. Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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4
4
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I love a good poem, and this is nifty, the free verse flowing loosely across the page with a conversational tone as we see one person musing upon the significance of freedom in this great country.

I love how the entire metaphor is built upon the idea of fireworks, sparkling to life and bringing up great truths about freedom. We see the “flammable expressions of rebellion, reformation, or resistance” and are reminded of how important it is to not only state our views, but to act upon them to bring justice and peace and advance the causes of civilization. Your creativity in making such a simple poem that at first glance looks like a run on sentence, but then we see that it’s an acrostic with metaphorical expression that is quite deep, is admirable.

My views on poetry are laidback and easygoing; I see the crafting of a poem as a highly subjective art form, where heart and soul matter more than rigid forms and rules. I detest counting syllables and measuring meter, and since this is a free verse poem, none of that needs to be touched on - which is great because I would have no clue as to advising anyone on those things.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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5
5
Review of Mr. Nits  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Ah, now here’s a creative way of handling the Dialogue 500 prompt that we are required to do! I love this. Formatting first, you’ll want to use Size 4 Verdana to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. I would also suggest adding a space between each line of dialogue to make it easier to read. Paragraphs are quite important even in a simple item.

Yours is different from mine of course, but perfectly suitable to your situation as a Canadian, who doesn’t have to worry about taxes on April 15th. I went the route of someone who had no income in the previous year because he couldn’t work due to illness; I wonder what other fanciful spins there are upon the prompt. Maybe someday I’ll stop by and read a few after the GoT is over and the dust settles *Laugh* Anyway, I don’t see anything I would correct here; the dialogue is amusing and fast paced and brings the story together clearly towards the punchline at the end.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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6
6
Review of Freedom  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Whee! I’m here with a panicky review to finish the dratted doors with *Rolling* There seems to be some confusion about how many reviews are supposed to be crammed in that last door: I’m absolutely certain Gaby is demanding twenty (*Shock2*) but Annette tells me it’s just ten. At any rate, better safe than sorry, because I had no idea the Doors would be closing tomorrow at midnight. I’m so close!

I love your spin on this prompt. The beavers escaping from the fur farm is heartwarming and exciting, and perfectly suits you as you’re from Canada. We see the aged leader bringing them through adventures and trials to a new more natural and happier life in the wild, and we hope that the ending is a happily ever after. There is a chance they might be found and recaptured.

My story was about a neglected horse… but whatever. I’m surprised you haven’t opened a folder or a book item to hold your GoT stories in. That may be a good idea to keep everything tidy later on. Also, it’s fun to include the specific prompt so people know what you had in mind.

Great story! Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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7
7
Review of Trinity  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, a poem! I love poetry, especially simple nature poems that have a lot of meaning packed into them.

Formatting first… you’ve left this poem quite small and unimpressive on the page. Perhaps it would look more “poetic” if it were centered, with larger font size and maybe even a color. And we know that a dropnote for your thoughts is a nice tidy idea.

I love the concepts you’ve arranged here, contemplating three different types of birds and comparing them to the variety of human personalities. We see the sparrows, plain on the outside but soaring to surprising heights and nesting in far off nooks and crannies. We see the ravens, and are somewhat unsure about how exactly they “conjure rainbows…” is it a biblical metaphor? A reference to rain and shadows? A reference to how purportedly bright the Corvid family of birds is? We move on to the next line and see swans, with their monogamous relationships, and the conclusion drawn that these three are “like us.” Yet there are so many more birds, beautiful and diverse, and there is much more to humanity than simply these three elements.

Yet, this is a charming and simple poem. I don’t have anything to offer for advice because I’m quite laidback when it comes to poetry. I view it as a highly subjective art form and pretty much anything goes, as long as one puts one’s heart into it.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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8
8
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi again!

This is great advice on writing fiction . We see the vivid differences in the writing between your first example and second, and the point of view is brought home with drama and care. Plus we get lots of words from you, explaining the reasoning behind it all.

I chuckled when you said that about the Wikipedia article on France in 1815… I’d probably want to read it myself if I was interested. In fact, I might prefer to read the objective, sterile report of facts rather than the harsh, visceral reality of a story about the situation. Sometimes I shy away from grittiness in my writing, which leads to having a sort of childish, fairytale quality. It’s good to remember that vivid writing is more memorable and meaningful than “bland” writing. I also have tendencies to narrate stories, especially with first drafts. I like to get it down in almost a summary fashion and then dive into the experience from a deeper and more active perspective second time around.

As before, I recommend Size 4 Verdana font.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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9
9
Review of Schrodinger's Cat  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, something brief and lighthearted. I like finding the fun stuff in people’s ports, and this fits the bill quite well. I wasn’t sure what to expect as the cat prowled through the Forbidden Zone… was it the kitchen, perhaps? I wondered. Would a fire break out? But no, instead we get a cat with superpowers, who tries them out on his owner. It’s a bit unclear if the owner’s behaviors are connected to the cat’s “orders” or if it’s simply a matter of habit, but it’s fun to think the cat could be ordering her around. Potential here even for a longer story.

Remember to leave your notes in a dropnote at the bottom, and Size 4 Verdana font… (you’ll get sick of seeing me say it, but I’m just using it as a filler.) I think I’ve done 5 reviews today, and since I like to use the Daily Review Rewards program as efficiently as possible, that’ll be it for today. I’ll come back tomorrow with two more, if all goes well.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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10
10
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

An amusing story we have here, of a bad boy learning a lesson from his favorite Star Wars characters on Christmas. It was well written for a first draft, with little details that brought it to life. I don’t know much about Star Wars, but I chuckled at the way you captured Yoda’s unusual language patterns.

The story is simple and memorable. Timmy stands out somewhat from the usual young brat because he seems to be more manipulative, perhaps indeed brighter. If he were older I would almost say he displays psychopathic tendencies, but he does repent nicely at the end and resolve to do better, encouraged by Yoda.

There are instances when reviewing where I feel tongue tied… what am I supposed to say? You incorporated the target word quite well by putting it in the mouth of one who talks strangely anyway. A little tweaking, tidying up perhaps, and you could probably submit this to a holiday contest someday.

I usually recommend Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You could also move the background section to a dropnote, either at the top or the bottom.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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11
11
Review of Short Bio  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi, Max. I’m sure you’ve noticed the hullabaloo taking place within the halls of WdC. I’m here to review five of your items so I can “open a door” in this activity. Blame Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm *Laugh*

It’s nice to get to know you a little better. I appreciate your background in math and remember the joke that goes around during the holidays about “happy holidays” in algebraic language. I see that a love of reading runs in your family, since your daughter is a digital librarian. Perhaps a link to your website to learn more about you might be a good idea. I remember visiting your website recently and being impressed (or maybe slightly amused) by the published book covers, so the link must be around somewhere.

I’d like to take the opportunity to thank you for your patient advice about every story I’ve offered through your Crosstimbers Review Forum. Your advice has been invaluable, and I usually end up making some last minute changes to incorporate it before the contest deadline *Laugh* which reminds me, there’s only a few days left to write for this month’s Quotation Inspiration! Eek *Shock2*

Thanks for being here. Your presence is greatly appreciated. Take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, pets. Everyone has stories about beloved animals, even if they don’t actually own any. Pet stories are a classic way to make friends and share memories. This is a good idea, and it would be fun to see if something of the sort is still active on WdC. Hmm, I think there is a contest running where we can submit items about pets.

I’m on a mission to review 5 closed forums, and I found this one by looking through the “oldest first” option in the search engine. I see forums in those days were very “Spartan,” with little in the way of fancy formatting or even very large font. Nowadays people strive to make their forums as colorful and engaging as possible before one even reaches the comment section. They also function as places to host contests, as well as daily check-in spots for people to chat and see who else is active. I assume you are no longer active around here. Very few people from twenty two years ago are, or even just ten years. I do see you still have an upgraded account, which is a good sign. I’ll have to check out your portfolio sometime soon.

Thanks for being here at the beginning, take care, wherever your journey has taken you all these years, and as I tell everyone here, keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi…

I don’t know if you’re still active here or not (I guess the chances of that are quite slim…) I’m on a mission to review five closed forums, so I went to the search engine and specified “most recently modified last” and this was one of the oldest ones available.

So…this appears to be a simple “fundraiser lottery” type of activity, where a pot of WdC Gift Points is solicited and then the total funds are split between the host and a lucky winner. Did WdC have the “virtual dice” yet at this time? How was your winner determined? It must have been hard to keep track of 63 participants… I find things like that are made easier by the Notepad, where I can gather up reviews and posts and other such things and then post them in the proper area when I’m ready.

I don’t recognize anyone who joined the fun, but that’s hardly surprising because I’m a newbie who’s only been here since July ‘23. Honestly, I’m at a loss for anything else to say… maybe I should go find a forum that was closed more recently, because I fear I’m talking into the wind anyway *Laugh*

Thank you for being here at the beginning. Take care, wherever you are at this stage in your life, and keep writing, as I tell everyone *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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14
14
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Well, now here’s a blast from the past! To open Door 19, I have to review five different forums that are currently closed. So to do that more efficiently I went to the search engine and sorted them out by “most recently modified last,” which brought up yours as the second option. I think it might possibly be the oldest and even the first forum ever created here *Shock2*

I see it’s a contest, which has all the earmarks of modern contests here: award icons, gift points, rules, and prompts, which seem to be rather strange to my mind. Imagination Alphabet? I’ll have to take a look at that…

It’s sad to observe that you and Hooves are the only donors/judges from this forum left on the site; the others have either left entirely or become White Cases. I see that most of the winning items are also gone for similar reasons.

I love finding “time capsules” here, and definitely this is one of the most historic and interesting I’ve seen so far. There’s not all that much I can think of to say about it. I’m quite glad you are still here and active after so many years.

Thanks for hosting that and leaving it up, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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15
15
Review of The Black Hat  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, I’m here to review your item for I Write 2024.

I’m happy to find a story written for the Quotation Inspiration this month, as it’s always difficult to gauge participation in the Official WdC contests until after the fact. I guess I like to see what ideas other people have to interpret the prompt, especially this one.

We have here a story of two men, friends from way back, who have a misunderstanding over the place of the friend in the home of the one he’s come to move in with. It was tastefully written, save for the one f-bomb and the sh*t (both of which are acceptable for the rating anyway) I wasn’t sure how dark it would get or how literally the prompt would be interpreted, and was relieved at the quick, blunt ending. It is written simply and clearly, drawing together the theme of good and bad as seen in the Westerns so enjoyed by the two when they were young. I enjoyed the Australian setting and the subtle reminder that Christmas takes place in the summer down under.

The plot feels rather trite and predictable, as we can immediately anticipate the danger lurking in Sam’s desire to host his friend, especially seeing as that the friend had an affair and that’s what started the mess in the first place. Sam must have been quite blinded by friendship to not realize the obvious risk involved. In fact, I’ve had that kind of story in my head for years, wondering if it would be worth writing. I also thought of something simplistic like that for the Quotation Inspiration, but I didn’t really want to deal with such a topic. My latest idea for it - before the month runs out! - is a fantasy.

I would recommend underlining the datelines in order to present a tidier organization, and also adding a few centered stars in between scenes to divide them more clearly. And I never thought I’d say this, but maybe a slightly smaller font size would give it a more “mature” appearance? I like size 4 for everything.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartg*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review of ~I'm Coming Home~  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Wow, what a story. Brief and touching, yet so simple in the rendering. We see the heartbroken woman, her desire to be a mother, her rescue of the infant and her brave yet startling decision to run away with the baby girl to a new life in Mexico.

I see nothing to correct or change here; this is the kind of flash fiction I’d like to be able to write. I’m curious that it was a weekly prompt; nowadays Arakun hosts her prompts daily, which is quite a feat because she has to get them all judged and posted up by midnight.

That’s a gorgeous award icon, and well deserved… and now I have to figure out how to fill in four hundred more characters *Laugh* This is the final review of your port raid from me, and I must say it was a lot of fun. I never really stopped by your port for more than a brief glance… and there’s still plenty more to explore. I didn’t have the time or energy to check out the Lou Ryan detective stories, for example.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work - you’re greatly appreciated around here *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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17
17
Review of "The Best Gift"  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Whoa, what a stunning and beautiful story we have here! I love it, and heeding your request at the bottom that we don’t offer suggestions as to changing it would be easy. Honestly, I can’t think of a thing I would change about it, aside from the basic and monotonous observation to use Size 4 Verdana font, which I’ve said to you enough times already *Laugh*

The cherished moments of a newly minted family are heartfelt and touching, reminding us that families should be whole and happy and sometimes the very Angel we need to help us heal is the one we have unknowingly “entertained at our home…” I’m thinking of a quote from the Book of Hebrews right now (13:2…)

It also reminds us how “all things work for good” and even the darkest tragedy has light at the end of the tunnel. It is a story of hope and resilience, of a mother’s love that stretched across the boundaries of life and provided an answer to the problems caused by such sudden loss.

This is a striking work, and for a newbie it’s quite commendable. I would hope some of my work leaves a lasting impression in such a way.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Oh my, what an absurd situation! It plays with essential horror elements in a fairytale way which has us wondering by the end whether the story is as straightforward as it might appear. For one thing, we are presented with an unreliable narrator, who views the people they are entrusted to escort as stupid pests. We also see the narrator’s carelessness in not preparing more effectively for the storm and the journey through the woods. They also display a certain callousness in barging into the unlocked dwelling. Surely they should have noticed signs of current habitation once they got in.

The tension rises as we encounter the ferocious cat, which creates some serious damage to the man and the window. We can’t help chuckling a little when we see the “fedora shaped hole” in the window and marvel that the hat never left his head. The absurdity of the situation escalates when the cat wreaks further havoc and the broom is used ineffectively against it.

So as not to summarize the entire story, which I seem to be doing for some reason, I’ll simply say it was hilarious and sinister at the same time, teasing us with hints of underlying danger and a birdwatching adventure gone awry that wasn’t all that well thought out in the first place.

I would suggest Size 4 Verdana font, and also you might want to tidy up the list of funny people and their characteristics at the beginning. Long lists with several components should be separated by both semicolons and commas for clarity.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, the drama of parenting daughters. You have captured the weirdness and frustration of such without being too personally specific, and given us a bright idea to help our own families out in such a way by preparing them for the inevitable growing up moment.

It’s really a very time honored thing to do, as evidenced by hope chests, dowries and other such things. Every family has a responsibility to set their daughters up in the right direction and provide love and support, up to a certain point, and it’s good to know your kids turned out ok and appreciate all the effort that went into their upbringing. As a daughter, I know the drama all too well, having caused plenty of havoc and mayhem in my day *Laugh*

Your narrative is clear, showing and telling without delving into dialogue or play-by-play that could slow it down or appear too fictionalized. We see a mother who wants the best for her girls and desires to avoid conflict in the most productive way possible.

I would definitely suggest using Size 4 Verdana font here, but aside from that I don’t see anything wrong. The mention of that French card game at the beginning is nifty; I had to google that real quick as I was reading. Perhaps a word count at the top would be a good idea so we know what we’re getting into.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review of White Balloons  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

A quietly contemplative free verse poem centering around the narrator’s encounter with a burial in the drizzling rain.

The scene is painted with truly poetic clarity: the folded umbrellas signifying the people’s obliviousness to the rain in their grieving, the white balloons indicating the passing of a child, the mother and girl standing separately, the poignant questions that arise as one views the scene. All is laid out in large, clear font, with the narrator’s internal questions separating the different observations into groups.

The free verse flows conversationally, and we feel like participants in the moment, standing in the cool damp, sharing the grief with everyone and wondering why such tragedies take place and how to move on. I especially appreciate the opening and closing repetition, with a touch of rhyme at the end; it reminds me of the great poetry of old, none of which I can particularly remember at the moment…”For Whom the Bell Tolls” or something.

Overall it is a striking, memorable poem, and I have no suggestions for improvement.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

We have here a fond description of your Southern US winter home, presumably in Florida. You show us a glimpse into the reminiscences of the classic denizens of old Dixieland, though upon closer inspection, the memories recited by the couple are actually about Scotland, not the US. It’s like a story within a story, arranged in the casual free verse of a poem.

The enjoyment derived from your half-yearly stay down there is evident in phrases like “home away from home” and “A fond farewell,” and we see the lasting friendships formed that transcend the time and distance, to pick up where they left off next winter… though there is always the worry that they may no longer be around. Gentle whimsy is provided by the big old word “octogenarian,” and I love the charming anecdote about the Scottish New Year’s traditions.

I might suggest including a line count within the item, but it’s not a big deal. Your formatting is excellent, and the lines flow freely along in a conversational manner.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ok, when I saw the name “Joey” in the first sentence, I had my suspicions… which were confirmed when I saw the name “Gaby” in the next paragraph *Rolling* That was slick. How intense were things getting in the last GoT?

An alarming fairytale of what happened to a mischievous little girl who ventured too close to the opening to “H E double hockey sticks”, as people say around here. It was well written, conveying the shock of such a horrific sight and the hideous depiction of the devil with memorable clarity. We of course understand that it is make believe, a story invented by Joey’s mom, but at the end we don’t really get a clear view of the impact it had on Joey. Did the scary story fix his bad behavior, or did he forget all about it in a day or two?

Spelling and grammar looks good. Your font is a good choice for everyone except iPad users… mind if I complain vigorously about Apple’s substitution of some highfalutin, nearly illegible script called Snell Roundhand for the good Comic font so popular around here? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind… *Crazy*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

I'm here for three more items in your port raid, hon *Laugh*

I love a good nature poem, and this captures the essence of everything I look for. You have the metaphorical descriptions of the scenery, the winter snows and the flighty charm of the little birds.

Your free verse flows smoothly down through the narrative, and the words bring it to life in a true poetic fashion. We can see your love for the juncos in the caring way you've fed them over the winter and the way you think so fondly of them. Yet you hardly realized their absence until you thought you caught a glimpse of them at the Florida feeder. Such is the way of life... We don't realize how much we miss something until we look for it and it isn't there.

The lines are well balanced and easy to read. I would recommend gathering the Wikipedia quote into a dropnote for tidiness, and you can underline the title header.

As a free verse, autobiographical poem, I don't have much to suggest. I'm laidback about poetry rules and structure, as being too lazy to bother with meter and syllable counts myself. Certainly I'm not qualified to advise anyone about those things *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review of E-Mail  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, is this ever relatable. I think everyone on the planet who has an email address knows the feeling of being bombarded with materialistic messages while longing for some kind of real connection to come through the inbox!

You've cleverly employed repetition, building up the different feelings that escalate to sheer exhaustion as you navigate cyber mounds of nonsensical spam that leaves us chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

You've expressed the frustration at not receiving the emails you want or need to see, while being swamped by spam that you carefully and tastefully describe. The lines are well balanced and easy to read, and the occasional rhymes add playfulness to the tone despite the distress.

I use Gmail and I'm quite happy to report that I get almost zero unsolicited spam in my inbox. I do, however, sign myself up for an endless number of newsletter type things, anything from Christian worldview news, to daily Hebrew lessons, to a frustrating amount of daily ads from craft stores and other places I have a membership with.

I've had to clear my subscriptions at least twice in the past couple years... At one point I was throwing out over 100 emails a week! Even now, I'm working with a backlog of news articles and lessons that I should be reading, stretching all the way to last Christmas *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review of In My Tiny Room  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

A beautiful representation of your personal writing process: enclosed, quiet and alone with your thoughts and dreams, to capture them on the pages like so many fluttering butterflies.

I like how it's structured, with carefully balanced line lengths drawing us smoothly through the free flowing verses to the conclusion.

I can identify with this, as I find I write best in a quiet place by myself... But I suppose everyone does - though there are those who write things while sitting at Starbucks. Goodness, I'd be so busy people watching and listening to the ambient music, I wouldn't be able to write a thing *Laugh* I'm easily distracted, I suppose. Anything to get away from the noise inside my head, which ultimately only adds to the noise as I fill it with distractions.

Anyway, you have a good personal poem here, rife with colorful metaphors that build in layers and demonstrate what you mean in showing terms, rather than simply saying "I like to write in a locked room by myself!"

And now I'm thinking about Imagine Dragons and their new song Eyes Closed... If you'll allow me to go off on a silly tangent. It's a song where the lead declares "lock me up in a cage! Just throw away the key, don't worry about me - I can do this with my eyes closed..." And I understand that to be his personal struggle with mental health and the consequences of his actions. He wants to be alone to deal with himself, to do battle within his own mind, and that internal battle produces much of the music that we get from his band.

I couldn't help drawing the comparison... I'm not trying to imply that you're saying you go in a room by yourself because of your mental health. It's a simple way to get some peace and quiet to write in, to tap into your innermost thoughts and feelings and lay those out.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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