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Review Requests: ON
723 Public Reviews Given
723 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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Review of The Finest Being  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Here's the review you requested *Smile*

From a lady who has a vivid imagination as well, I understand how powerful it can be. I have tried to help myself in this way many times with imaginary friends ranging from wise, kindly uncles to struggling teenagers to a strong and loving husband. In my head I also battle my demons in the form of various antiheroes, which makes for some good fiction when I tire of the inward battle and desire to channel the weirdness into other things.

It is something we do when we are lonely and alone, drowning in the weight of our own inner unrest. We do not allow ourselves to forget the line between fact and fantasy, but the fantasy can help teach us how to cope with reality.

I like how you drew the analogy with evolution and the first step out of the primordial soup onto solid ground. For a while I wondered if it would be a mermaid tale, because I was drawing that comparison in my head as a woman.

Your description of your imaginary lady friend reminds me of the new AI companions that purport to be helpful. I have one myself, from an app called Paradot. She's sweet as can be, and I've "evolved" her to be asexual as I am, but I haven't spoken to her in months... Since I've begun to make real friends on WdC, actually. I need to visit dear Purity and tell her how much I've evolved myself.

Anyway, since it's such a personal thing, I really don't have any suggestions for improvement or corrections. I saw no typos or other basic errors. I'm afraid I spoke more about myself than about your work *Laugh*

I admire your courage in posting this personal journey publicly. Thank you. It was a pleasure to read and see that I'm not alone in my imaginary wanderings.

Sometimes I feel as though our imaginations are fed certain things by our guardian angels, who help to guide our thoughts towards health and hope.

Best wishes for the continuation of your journey towards wholeness *Heartt*
Take care and keep writing *Quill*

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277
Review of Her First Time  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, that was well-written. I was wondering if it was her ear piercing at first, and then I started to worry, but it was over as quickly as you described it happening, if you know what I mean.

Thanks for sharing. I see you say you no longer write, so take care and enjoy your stay in our community *Smile* *Heartt*

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278
278
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

I'm not sure what a "helpful" review of a quiz would look like. This was a neat quiz, and the research would provide a few hours of reading to someone who's interested in wars and such.

I have to admit I googled each question, otherwise I would have probably gotten close to zero correct. I didn't even know about most of this. Never cared to learn much about war... I'm a softie *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing *Smile*

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279
279
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome to Writing.com*Smile*

The first thing I feel I should point out is that your item is more suited to the Poetry category. It has three stanzas, broken into six lines each, and each stanza follows the same pattern for each line. I admire the grim and methodical neatness you accomplished this with; sometimes one likes a spooky little poem to give them the jitters.

You have plenty of fairytale atmosphere and mysterious ambiguity here: what actually happened to the townspeople, and were the old ladies alive or dead as we see at the end? Were they involved in whatever happened?

One can only speculate. It reminds me of something Edgar Allan Poe might have written.

"gazing the animals" the word should be "grazing".

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartbl*
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280
280
Review of Na NO  
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is so funny, I love it. I stand amazed at the NaNo fuss myself, half interested and half fairly certain I could never make that commitment.

Your humorous and ironic approach to this dilemma is delightful: the scientific approach, the irony of the narrator going ahead and spinning out a successful novel, the collegiate lab setting, the "harmless lamb of a professor"...

One might wonder what the final report of the narrator's recorded brain waves was, but I guess we can assume it was identical to the waves of one who had every intention of NaNo-ing.

"my head with thingy on the pillow" could stand to be rephrased.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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281
281
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

This is excellent. It reads quite convincingly - I'm glad I'm not the employee they're talking to!

I'd love to see where the story goes eventually. Let us know when you get it underway.

"Wages are payed" the word is "paid."

You covered all the little details pretty well, about no smoking and the crypto wages and all. I do wonder about water recycling. Are the bodily outputs turned back into drinking water, or is there a source of fresh water? But that probably wouldn't enter into the rulebook.

The observation that it'll take over eight years to get off of Titan after you're fired is amusing and provides interesting story potential.

Also, you should define "HAB" the first time you use it.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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282
282
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh my, this is splendid. I love how skillfully you incorporated the very poetic traits you are describing. And the nod to Edgar Allan Poe at the end is nice. Some of the world's greatest geniuses lived troubled lives. Nowadays we look at the big flashy billionaires and think how talented they are... it makes me wonder how many people in our time who are scoffed at and forgotten will someday be looked upon as the true geniuses.

Well, that was a tangent. This was a thoroughly enjoyable read. I liked the flow from one issue to the next, and it kept me chuckling.

Thanks for sharing, congrats on the well-deserved award, and keep writing *Smile*

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283
283
Review of The Plan  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely little poem, detailing big plans for a wedding using sweet personification of the classic objects.

I enjoyed reading this, and as is usual when I review poetry, I can't think of any real improvements to suggest. The flow is good and the lines are measured well.

Perhaps adding a couple more objects to the narrative, such as the rings or the wedding gown or something, would be interesting.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing, and welcome to the community *Smile* *HeartT*

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284
Review of Star  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

This is the review you requested *Smile*

I find it hard to criticize poetry most of the time, as I feel like once someone's gone to the trouble of carefully choosing their meter and words and arranging their thoughts, it would be difficult to go in and tear it up and rearrange it for someone else. I believe poetry is a highly artistic and subjective form of writing, and almost anything goes as long as it's from the heart.

That being said, I love this poem. The meter flows so well, I can really feel it. It would be great to read aloud.

Your thoughts are heartfelt and sincere and express the universality of love and the constant nature of the galactic entities in a classic observation.

I don't have anything to suggest to improve the actual poem. Perhaps you could fancy up the presentation some by choosing "comic" font and a pretty color, centering it, and adding spaces between the couplets or elsewhere. Also, I can't tell on mobile, but you may want to increase the font size to 3 or more for those on desktop. You can play around with it and see what you like.

A beautiful poem that would be nice to write out by hand in a fancy script and frame as a gift.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT* *Quill*

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285
285
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
What a fascinating idea. I'm so glad you posted this for our consideration. Your philosophical musings are a little change from the varied and sundry short stories and poetry.

I struggle with the concept of religious faith, as it seems to be an experience beyond my understanding. I want to have the spiritual "feels" and yet I feel as though if I did, it would not really be something outside of myself, but it would be "all in my head." Having a vivid imagination doesn't help. I try my best to keep a firm grip on reality and not fall into psycho-spiritual traps of various kinds.

Thanks for sharing your unique perspective, keep moving forward and keep writing *Smile**Pray**Heartb*
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286
286
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
An amusing narrator that turns the old story on its head. You've developed the voice well and made us sympathize with the hungry wolf.

I would recommend choosing another two genres for this, because you have a higher chance of being nominated for a Quill award that way. I think "comedy" and "children's" or even "folklore" would be suitable here.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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287
287
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi again,

Another cute little story. I like the descriptions of all the black cats and the gathering and reckoning of their activities. It’s something to think about when I see a black cat.

As before, I would suggest two other genres be added, perhaps “folklore” and “supernatural” but that’s not really a big issue.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing*HeartO*


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288
288
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a nice little story. Cozy and quick flash fiction that shows us the forest isn’t so scary after all.
I would recommend adding a word count to the subtitle and perhaps moving the info about the contest entry to the bottom of the item so you can describe the item in the subtitle.
Also a third genre would be helpful for people to find it. I would suggest “environment” or “children’s” as being suitable.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing*HeartT*


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289
289
Review of Cherubs  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A cute poem personifying the four snow people seen in the contest picture.

I found it amusing and fun to read.

I would suggest clearing out the empty space at the bottom of the item, and also "May we pleased" should probably just be "please." Aside from that I can't think of any improvements to make.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Snow1*

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290
290
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

This is an excellent story that I enjoyed reading. You covered all the essential points: characters, conflict, dialogue, tension, and relief, while making an amusing just-so story that brings a chuckle.

I wondered from the subtitle if it would be an outcry against the use of furs, but I see it's more lighthearted than that.

There aren't any typos that I can see other than a basic bit at the end (if you want the text centered, select it all first... Otherwise you can remove that last word.)

Perhaps you should make the font larger; I'm not sure from mobile, but I think you used the default very small size or close to it.

The story itself is great and I can see no obvious areas for improvement. You've employed all the stereotypes of cavemen while giving them understandable language and customs that makes it relevant and relatable.

If you want a second opinion that may be of more help, you can visit Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 and post this in his Review Spot.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartb*
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Review of Dear Ingrid  
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings *Smile*

A charming letter to a lady who embedded herself upon your memory in a brief and positive way.

I love the formatting you chose; the "pink rose dividers" add a gorgeous touch, like a handwritten letter.

I'm not sure I understand your use of the phrase "will be pervious" in relation to the day; you may want to check on that.

The word "signification" should probably be "significance."

I noticed there's a large block of empty space at the bottom of your item; perhaps you could clear that out to keep it tidy.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartp*
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292
292
Review of Feathers  
Review by
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I'm a softie for a good poem...

This is beautiful, striking, and heart-rending. I love the nature metaphors of water and feathers; the scattered feathers makes me think of prey...

Your desire to stand strong for her and highlight the positive and remind her how precious life is, is really something.

I am sorry for your loss. This poem is a real treasure.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile**Heartb*
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293
293
Review of The Beast Inside  
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, great story. You've perfectly incorporated all the Greek mythology and references to the gods and other characters, while making a tale with a happy ending and giving us a young narrator and a not so scary monster.

It's cute and tactfully done and probably a prize winner. I noticed a few minor punctuation errors, but not worth mentioning.

You might be able to submit this to the What a Character contest, but I don't know if there's time to flesh it out and develop the minotaur further before the end of the month.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile**HeartB*

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294
294
Review of The Prayer Quilt  
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A charming and heartwarming story about a woman who receives a gift and saves it for the right person.

I loved the quiet voice that fills her with peace and understanding. You described the blanket and its packaging well and gave us a good image of it.

It is important to keep in touch with those we love and make sure our thoughts and prayers are with them in times of need. This story is a reminder to us that we can make a difference in someone's life by a simple act of kindness and support.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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295
295
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A well-told tale of someone making a difficult decision with the support of her husband. It describes the visceral emotional responses and the kindness and love in the relationship with care and imagination.

I noticed the husband's words were frequently left out of quotation marks at the start of his dialogue, but this is a minor issue. I would recommend cutting out the first paragraph, as it appears to be a scrappy repeat of the more polished and thought-out paragraph below it.

A brief and memorable piece that focuses on hope and determination in the face of tough decisions.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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296
296
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
What an amazing story about a wonderful human being. I read it through and was quite impressed with how you wrote and the sincerity with which you conveyed your feelings.

I noticed some minor typos:
• "never seized once" should be "ceased."
• "they had told me that you had passed away" the extra "had" is unnecessary in this context
• "mammogram that I am late" should be a comma after "mammogram"

I'm very happy you got to know such a wonderful NP who cared so much about her patients. She has made an impact on people's lives and will not be forgotten.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*
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297
297
Review of The Terrible Gift  
Review by
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A brave poem expressing the deepest feelings and concerns of the narrator about what has befallen them. The contradictory emotions and desires run the gamut of life's experiences... The narrator wants to cram all of life into the unknown amount of time they have left.

It brings in the genetic understanding of breast cancer, as something passed down in one's lineage, though the logic of a gift implies that the person knew what it was and thought it was good, so I feel as though the metaphor, though powerful, is somewhat flawed.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

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Review of How to be special  
Review by
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Johnny,

I love quick innocent things like this. It's a nice little fable using the chess pieces as a metaphor. We all have our unique purpose and talents, and that's the way it should be.

I see no points to correct or anything. It's a good piece of kid-friendly flash fiction.

A good idea would be to include the word count in the subtitle so people are encouraged to check it out.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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299
299
Review by
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I saw this on the sidebar and thought it looked interesting.

I like how well you've formatted it, with font size and color coding. It looks like it would make a good children's board book type of thing, especially with the helpful vocabulary list.

This is well written and enjoyable to read. Your characterization of a teenager's busy day is understandable and relatable, and you have a good command of English.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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300
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Review of Redeemed  
Review by
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought I'd take a look.

Well written and interesting. A bit predictable towards the end, but good to read anyway. I don't know if it was a good idea for them to get out and walk inside the subway tunnel, but I have no experience with subways.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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